Essay Scoring 1 Purpose 2 Audience 3 Content

Essay Scoring 1. Purpose 2. Audience 3. Content 4. Organization/Clarity

Purpose • The writer must determine the purpose for writing: to express personal feelings to explain or inform to persuade to be creative to be humorous

Audience • What does the reader already know about the topic? • What do I need to explain? • What will the reader find to be most interesting? • What kinds of words and sentences should I use (voice)?

Content • Descriptive • Narrative • Expository • Persuasive

• To tell a story using chronological order Narrative

• To convince your reader of something using judgments or opinions Persuasive

• To tell what something is like through sensory details; to describe descriptive

• To explain reasons or steps in a process; to tell why expository

Content: Descriptive • Requires specific information and sensory details along with “other relevant details”

Content: Narrative • Requires a clear sequence of events within a specified time frame

Content: Expository • Requires reasons, explanations, or steps in a process; logical sequencing; main ideas, supporting details, and may provide a conclusion

Content: Persuasive • Requires a clearly stated opinion, reasons, and specified examples to influence an action or a thought, and may provide a conclusion

Organization/Clarity • Shows evidence of an organizational plan • Displays a sense of author control • Uses one clear controlling idea with only minimal wandering from it • Ideas flow smoothly from one to the next with clarity

Organization/Clarity continued • Makes occasional errors in grammar and usage and mechanics that do not interrupt the flow of communication • Uses a variety of sentence formations • Uses meaningful, precise vocabulary

Modes of Writing 1. Narrative 2. Expository 3. Persuasive 4. Descriptive

Narrative • Relates a sequence of events which occurs over some period of time • What happens and the order in which the events occur are communicated to the reader • Requires the writer to give a clear sequence of events (fictional or nonfictional) and to provide elaboration on it • Use transition words for a narrative • Include conclusion to sum up story

Expository • Presents at least three reasons, explanations, or steps in a process • Logical order should be used with appropriate sequencing of ideas or steps in a process • Should contain a main idea, supporting details, and a conclusion • Include conclusion to summarize reasons, explanations, or steps

Persuasive • Presents reasons and examples to influence action and thought • Requires a writer to state clearly an opinion and supply at least three reasons and specific examples that support that opinion • Include a conclusion that implies a call to action

Activity: Recognizing Modes of Writing 1. Your class is making a box to be seen in 2096. Write an essay explaining the one thing you put in that box and why. 2. Suggest changes that you think would make your country better. 3. Pretend that you lived in colonial times. Write a story about yourself living in George Washington’s day.

Activity: Recognizing Modes of Writing Answers 1. Expository 2. Persuasive 3. Narrative 4. Descriptive

Strong Verbs Strong verbs = better writing = higher scores

Verbs to Bury: Dead Verbs am have are is be was had were has *any verb ending in “ing” *avoid feels, looks, sounds, smells, becomes, appear, seems, and acts

Strong Verb Rewriting: Example Weak: She was angry. Better: The angry girl flung her arms about in frustration. Weak: My room is a mess. Better: My clothes litter the floor of my messy room.

Practice Sentences 1. My mom is mad at me. 2. The little girl was sad. 3. The classroom was noisy. 4. I am mad today. 5. The birthday party was awesome.

Practice Sentences contd. 6. These sentences are stupid. 7. My friend is mean to his sister. 8. The calico cat was nice.

Clustering

Clustering for Expository Essay • Need at least three reasons to explain the main idea • Rank from least to greatest of importance • Use at least three sub-details for each reason

Provides Leisure Activity Get a Job Drive Self Places Helpful to Self Take Siblings Places Assistance to Family Reasons Teens Take Friends Places Gain Freedom Clustering Need Cars Self Image Look Cool Run Errands Attract Friends

Expository: Essay Template General Information Thesis Introduction Reason 1 Reason 2 Body Reason 3 Restate Thesis General Information Conclusion

Expository: Essay Template Thesis Sentence Introduction Topic Sentence 1 Topic Sentence 2 Body Topic Sentence 3 Restatement of Thesis Conclusion

Formula for Writing a Thesis Statement A specific topic + about three particular features, feelings, or stands ------------------= an effective thesis statement.

Completing Essay Template • Example Thesis: Thesis Teens need vehicles to promote self-image, helpfulness to self, and assistance to family.

Example Topic Sentences 1. Teens need transportation to improve self-image. 2. Furthermore, young drivers need cars to help transport themselves. 3. In addition, young adults could be of assistance to family members if they had proper transportation.

Completing Essay Template • Example Restatement of Thesis: Thesis In conclusion, young adults need vehicles to promote self-image, helpfulness to self, and assistance to family.

Five Paragraph Essay 1. Introduction ending in thesis 2. Idea #1 topic sentence; transitions and supporting details/ex. 3. Idea #2 topic sentence; transitions and supporting details/examples 4. Idea #3 topic sentence; transitions and supporting details/examples 5. Conclusion beginning with restatement of thesis; other general sentences leading reader out of paper

Writing the Hook or Attention Grabber • Share some thought-provoking details about the subject. • Ask your reader a challenging question. • Begin with an informative quotation. • Provide a dramatic, eye-opening statement. • Open with some thoughtful dialogue or an engaging story. • Identify the main points you plan to cover.

Parts to the Introduction • Hook or Attention Grabber (about one sentence) • General sentences that lead to thesis (about three sentences) • Thesis sentence from Template (one sentence)

Parts to a Body Paragraph • Topic Sentence (from essay template) • Supporting Detail Sentences (at least three which should come from outer circles on cluster • Clincher Sentence (which sums up topic sentence • Use transitions within this paragraph (examples: also, furthermore, in addition, likewise, etc. )

Paragraph Structure Top of hamburger bun = topic sentence Lettuce = supporting detail Onion = supporting detail Cheese = supporting detail Meat = supporting detail Bottom of bun = clincher or restatement of topic

Developing the Middle • The middle paragraphs in your draft should support your thesis. Make sure you use your planning notes (cluster and essay template) as a general guide for your writing. • Remember your purpose is to explain. Provide important facts, details, and examples.

Some Transition Words • first, second, third, finally, in addition, also, last, equally important, in the first place, likewise, besides, as a result, therefore, on the other hand, nevertheless, in conclusion

Expository End • Restate thesis statement in the conclusion. • You should have at least five sentences in the last paragraph. It is as important as the introduction. • Remember to add a clincher to the last sentence.

Prepare essay to turn in by stapling these parts • • Grade sheet Cluster Essay template Draft with five paragraphs

Descriptive Clustering

Clustering for Descriptive Essay • Need at least three senses or focal points to describe • List senses or focal point as they would naturally occur • Use at least three sub-details for each sense or focal point

stacks of hay sights in barn rusty old tools horses neighing horse equipment an old barn sounds in barn kittens Descriptive Clustering meowing musty old hay putrid manure smells in barn aroma of sweet feed Windstorm blowing

General. Information __________ Thesis __________ Sense 1 __________ Sense 22 __________ Sense 3 __________ Restate Thesis General. Information Descriptive Essay Template

Key Sentences for Descriptive Essay • Thesis: Many sights, smells, and sounds overwhelm my senses as I enter the old country barn. • Topic 1: Familiar sights of my childhood come to mind as I encounter the friendly atmosphere of the barn.

Key Sentences continued • Topic 2: In addition, my nose encounters • an array of smells in the pastoral setting. • Topic 3: Likewise, I hear a multitude of familiar sounds in the barn setting. • Restatement of Thesis: Finally, many things bombard my senses as I do evening chores in the old structure.

Writing the Hook or Attention Grabber • Share some thought-provoking details about the subject. • Ask your reader a challenging question. • Begin with an informative quotation. • Provide a dramatic, eye-opening statement. • Open with some thoughtful dialogue or an engaging story. • Identify the main points you plan to cover.

Parts to the Introduction • Hook or Attention Grabber (about one sentence) • General sentences that lead to thesis (about three sentences) • Thesis sentence from Template (one sentence)

Sample Descriptive Introduction An old rusty barn stands at guard at the edge of a pasture filled with black and white horses. A meandering fence links this barn to the brick farm house. Generations of farming have run in my family, and this tradition continues with my own. Evening signals chores and time to be part of this symbol of hard work and family heritage. Many sights, sounds, and smells overwhelm my senses in this domestic building.

Developing the Middle • The middle paragraphs in your draft should support your thesis. Make sure you use your planning notes (cluster and essay template) as a general guide for your writing. • Remember your purpose is to describe.

Recipe for Body Paragraph • Topic Sentence (general sentence introducing topic; use transition) • 3 -4 supporting sentences with specific examples from outer circles of cluster chart; use transitions to add new ideas; use figurative languaage • Clincher Sentence (sums up or closes ideas of paragraph)

Paragraph Structure Top of hamburger bun = topic sentence Lettuce = supporting detail Onion = supporting detail Cheese = supporting detail Meat = supporting detail Bottom of bun = clincher or restatement of topic

Some Transition Words • first, second, third, finally, in addition, also, last, equally important, in the first place, likewise, besides, as a result, therefore, on the other hand, nevertheless, in conclusion

Writing the Conclusion • Restate thesis sentence • Lead the reader out with general statements much like in the introduction • Use at least five sentences • Don’t just quit here; walk away from it and come back and spend as much time on conclusion as on any other part

What is a simile? A simile is a comparison between two different things, designed to create an unusual, interesting, emotional or other effect often using words such as 'like' or 'as. ’ Ex: sly as a fox

What is a metaphor? At its most basic, metaphor is a figure of speech, where a comparison is made between two seemingly unrelated objects without using "like" or "as. " It is a transference of one object's characteristics onto another. Example: All the world’s a stage

Example of Simile The dice rolled out of the cup toward John like ______. . loose drifts of snow careening down a mountain during an avalanche.

Let’s Practice! Directions: Please write all of the following sentences filling in the blanks. Re-word the sentence to create both a simile AND a metaphor.

1. The oars on the boat rowed as if _______. 2. A child in _____ is like a ______ in ______.

3. The smoke swept through the gunshot holes in the train windows like _______. 4. ______ is like muscles stretched tight over bone. 5. She held her life in her own hands as if it were ________.

6. The prisoner walked up the plank as if ________. 7. Hannah poured coffee down her throat as if ______. 8. James raced through his test like _____.

Let’s Share!

Narrative Clustering Beginning Setting, background, characters Middle End Details Resolution, clincher

Writing a Short Story Prewriting: Practice and Apply Develop a short story idea by planning a setting, plot, and characters; choosing a point of view; and considering ways to use stylistic devices.

Setting, background, characters John back to good health Details Receive citizen’s badge Middle Write up in paper Police arrest criminal Beginning Criminal shoots John I capture criminal Save John’s life See suspicious looking man Myself, John, Criminal University Mall food court Shopping at the mall Narrative Clustering My Day as a Hero End Resolution, clincher

General. Information General Controlling __________ Sentence __________ Sense 1 Detail 1 __________ Sense Detail 22 __________ Detail 3, etc. Sense 3 __________ Restate Thesis Refer to events in the story Satisfying ending, General Information zinger, completion Narrative Essay Template

General. Information General Little did I know that a heroic event approached. ___________________ John and I ate quickly Sense 1 so as to enjoy more__________ time at the gaming shop. Across the food court, Sense 2 John and I noticed a suspicious looking man eyeing us down. __________ As the shots rang out, I noticed a look Sense 3 of agony pass over John’s face. Etc. __________ Restate Thesis A newspaper article recently published my heroic story of capturing a criminal and saving my friend’s life. As General each new. Information day blossoms, I look forward to whatever heroic event may pass my way. Narrative Essay Template

Narrative: Beginning • Begin with a “grabber” to hook your reader • Describe scene/background and setting • Introduce characters • Last sentence of introduction should be the control sentence

Narrative: Middle • Develop story with at least one specific incident or happening • Keep your happenings in the correct order for time • Include descriptions • Here is where your action takes place • A conversation works well here *This is a good place for a simile or two or even a bit of humor

Transitions continued • To indicate the order or sequence of events: first of all meanwhile followed by then next before after last finally one month later one year later

Writing a Short Story Conflict External conflict—a character struggles against an outside force such as another character or the environment Internal conflict—a character struggles against his or her own feelings. The characters’ actions or decisions complicate the plot. They create the rising action that advances the plot to the climax.

Writing a Short Story Dialogue Putting words in their mouths—dialogue Exterior dialogue—what the characters say “Look, mister. A salad is really much better for you than a hot dog. Here, try one. No charge. ” Interior monologue—shows unspoken thoughts “I don’t care if it is free, I don’t like salad. And I don’t think that some street vendor has the right to tell me what I should eat!”

Writing a Short Story Consider Style Stylistic Devices Figures of Speech Metaphor—direct comparison of two unlike things. The journalist is a hawk on the lookout for a story. Simile—comparison of two unlike things using words such as like and as. The free salad looked as fresh and inviting as a garden after a spring rain. Personification—comparison The man’s red hat sat that gives an object or frowning above his angry eyes. animal human characteristics

Writing a Short Story Consider Style Stylistic Devices Imagery Language that appeals to the senses Red Hat hungrily imagined the sweet relish, the tangy sauerkraut, and that little blast of steam released whenever he took the first bite. Irony Contrast between Amanda looked sad as new appearances and reality customers crowded around her cart. She would miss Red Hat.

Narrative: End • Bring story to a close, referring to events in the story for continuity • Wrap it up with a satisfying ending, a zinger, or a humorous comment to leave your reader with a feeling of completion

Writer’s Checklist • Use the checklist to critique a peer’s narrative. • Place a check beside each thing done, but also make suggestions for things to improve. • Write down the control sentence, or suggest one if one is not provided. • List examples of transitions used, or suggest some if they are not used. *Check for use of dialogue, or make suggestions if it is not used.

Avoid Redundancy and Repetition • Here are some common expressions you may hear or use, but you can see why both or all words are not necessary but redundant. – – – Attach together Basic fundamental Cover up Cross over Circle around True facts -fall down -final result -continue on -in my opinion, I think -mix together -past experience

Purpose of Persuasive Essay • To convince the reader to share your opinion or belief using logical reasons and supporting details.

More loyalty to school Decrease discipline problems More concentration on academics More pride in school work Reduction of weapons School Uniforms Less stress over what to wear Persuasive Clustering Decrease peer pressure Everyone dressed alike Fewer cases fighting Decrease theft and violence Less stealing of designer clothes/shoes More equality

General. Information __________ Thesis _________ Sense 1 Reason 1 _________ Sense Reason 2 2 _________ Sense 33 Reason Restate Thesis Restate Reasons General. Information Persuasive Essay Template

Formula for Writing a Thesis Statement A specific topic + about three particular features, feelings, or stands ------------------= an effective thesis statement.

Persuasive Thesis Because they decrease discipline problems, issues of theft and violence, and peer pressure, school uniforms prove beneficial in many school systems.

Topic Sentences for Body Paragraphs To begin, uniforms promote well-disciplined students. Secondly, school uniforms may promote fewer incidents of theft and violence. Last, a mandatory dress code will reduce peer pressure among students.

Restatement of Thesis In conclusion, schools will benefit from fewer problems in the areas of discipline problems, issues of theft and violence, and peer pressure

Persuasive Beginning • Introduction tells the reader about your opinion. Avoid “I think, ” or “I believe. ” You don’t want to appear biased. • Thesis statement clearly states your opinion.

Writing the Hook or Attention Grabber • Share some thought-provoking details about the subject. • Ask your reader a challenging question. • Begin with an informative quotation. • Provide a dramatic, eye-opening statement. • Open with some thoughtful dialogue or an engaging story. • Identify the main points you plan to cover.

Parts to the Introduction • Hook or Attention Grabber (about one sentence) • General sentences that lead to thesis (about three sentences) • Thesis sentence from Template (one sentence)

Sample Persuasive Introduction “Good morning! Stonehill High. How may I direct your call? ” “You can let me speak to the person who has nothing better to do than dream up the idea of forcing my child to wear a ridiculous uniform to school. Who do they think they are at that school anyway? Deciding what my child should wear to school! It’s hard enough to get him to go to school now without having to make him wear something he hates! You can direct me to the instigator of this crazy idea, so I can give him a piece of my mind!” “Hold, please, and I’ll connect you. ” This parent seems to be angry about the idea of school uniforms. Even though some teachers offer no opinion and some view them as just something else to enforce, many teachers think uniforms would be a plus because so many students dress inappropriately. Although it remains a controversial subject, many feel that school uniforms are needed now, and the unbelievers are likely to change their minds once they see the positive results that wearing uniforms can produce. Because they decrease discipline problems, issues of theft and violence, and peer pressure, school uniforms prove beneficial in many school systems.

Parts to a Body Paragraph • Topic Sentence (from essay template) • Supporting Detail Sentences (at least three which should come from outer circles on cluster • Clincher Sentence (which sums up topic sentence • Use transitions within this paragraph (examples: also, furthermore, in addition, likewise, etc. )

Paragraph Structure Top of hamburger bun = topic sentence Lettuce = supporting detail Onion = supporting detail Cheese = supporting detail Meat = supporting detail Bottom of bun = clincher or restatement of topic

Remember to Use Transition Words • first, second, third, finally, in addition, also, last, equally important, in the first place, likewise, besides, as a result, therefore, on the other hand, nevertheless, in conclusion

Persuasive Middle • Each paragraph should tell the reader of one reason to support your opinion. • The essay should have three reasons ranked from least to greatest of importance to support your opinion.

Persuasive End • Restate thesis statement in the conclusion. • You should have at least five sentences in the last paragraph. It is as important as the introduction. • Remember to have a direct or implied call to action • Remember to add a clincher to the last sentence.

Revision of Essays • Choose from the following: • Descriptive • Expository • Narrative • Persuasive

Use Transitions make it clearer to the reader that the writer is sticking to the topic. They establish an organizational pattern and make the essay or story more coherent and flowing.

Transitions continued • To additional information or facts: as well and additionally besides also too in addition another furthermoreover

Transitions continued • To indicate the order or sequence of events: first of all meanwhile followed by then next before after last finally one month later one year later

Transitions continued • To list things in order of importance: first second next last finally more importantly more significantly above all primarily

Transitions continued • To connect one idea to a fact or illustration: for example to illustrate for instance this can be seen

Transitions continued • To indicate an effect or result: as a result thus consequently eventually therefore

Transitions continued • To indicate that one idea is opposite of another: nonetheless however yet though but although even though in contrast unlike differing from instead whereas nevertheless despite regardless of on the contrary on the other hand

Transitions continued • To compare on thing to another: in a different sense similarly likewise similar to like conversely just as

Writer’s Pizzazz Using the following techniques will keep readers and ADAW judges hooked and interested and will, in turn, get better scores. • Anecdote – a story within a story to catch the reader’s fancy

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Catchy title – a title that creates interest or arouses curiosity • Dialogue – this can come in many forms, with or without a tag. It can be repartee (quick and witty), in vernacular (the language of the people), or just an ordinary conversation.

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Figurative language – personification, similes, metaphors, alliteration, onomatopoeia, oxymorons • Foreign language – if a writer knows a bit of a foreign language, a commonly known phrase for example, like Bonjour, can be very effective

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Grabber or hook – this is a way of introducing an essay or story that wakes up the reader, grabs his/her attention, and makes him/her want to read more. A grabber can be in the form of a question, a quick dialogue of some sort (usually untagged), onomatopoeia, a quote, etc.

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Humor – this can be a witty phrase, a short joke, a funny incident that is related to the story or essay, or anything that would amuse the reader • Literary allusion – referring to commonly known books is always effective

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Nitty-gritty detail – detail can come in many forms, but no broad statement should be made without being followed by detail that lets you know what the statement is about. This can be followed by a brief story, a description, an anecdote, a list of attributes, etc.

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Painting word pictures – strong, active verbs evoke vivid descriptions that paint pictures so clear that the reader has no trouble imagining it in his or her mind • Sensory words - words that elucidate writing like, “The tangy smell of pungent salsa permeated the room. ”

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Quotes – the use of quotes whether from the author, from people the author knows, or from well-known people is always a good way to add pizzazz. “To be or not to be, that is the question. ” --Shakespeare

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • “showing, not telling” – this is a technique used to avoid vague statements like “The girl was frightened. ” Instead, a frightened girl is “shown” to the reader. For example, “The frightened girl quivered as her knees knocked together, her throat closed up, and her mouth lost all moisture. She could not even scream her terror. ”

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Sound words – sound words can mimic any sound you hear. For example, toot for the sound of a tugboat or thbbth for a “raspberry. ” These are also called onomatopoeia. • Strong, active verbs – these verbs say “The cat sprawled in the chair. ” rather than “The cat was in the chair. ”

Writer’s Pizzazz continued • Threading a theme throughout – this would be like the song that identifies the dwarves in “Snow White” or the web in Charlotte’s Web that is mentioned on almost every page. • Zinger – this is an ending that zings the reader so that he/she is surprised, provoked to think, or made to laugh or cry

Introduction • Has a strong topic statement • Thesis statement is obvious to the reader • Beginning is interesting and draws the reader in.

Development • Uses supporting details from the stories • Clearly states each topic characteristic • Each paragraph stays on the topic and details are elaborated

Organization • Uses transitions • Follows logical order in topic development • Essay contains an introduction paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion paragraph.

Style • Use of strong verbs • Displays appropriate spelling, grammar and punctuation • Limit use of dead verbs • Use a variety of sentences

Conclusion • • Has a strong summary sentence Restates main points of the essay Includes supporting details Reminds the reader of the overall point of your essay

Remember • Paragraphs must be 4 -5 sentences long • Use transition words in body and conclusion paragraphs • Introduction and conclusion must be in paragraph form (more than 1 or 2 sentences)