Transitions Lance Yuen Secondary School Counselor Kelsey Kidd

Transitions Lance Yuen, Secondary School Counselor Kelsey Kidd, Elementary School Counselor

Stages of Transition • • Elation (Honeymoon) Resistance (Negotiation) Transformation (Adjustment) Integration (Mastery)

Transition Cycle Integration Elation Transformation Resistance

Elation (Honeymoon) • • • Excited Curious Stimulated Intrigued Home is still close and familiar

Resistance (Negotiation) • • • Frustration and anger Confused Isolated Lack of support systems Idealize the home you left (homesickness) • Why? ? ?

Culture Shock Integration Elation Transformation Culture Shock Resistance

Transformation (Adjustment) • • • Accept differences Coping Less isolated More confident Appreciative

Integration (Mastery) • • Confident Comfortable Understand Autonomy

What is a Cross Culture Kid?

Identity

Identity “represents the process by which the person seeks to integrate his/her various statuses and roles, as well as his diverse experiences, into a coherent image of self”. (Epstein, 1978)

What is a Cross Culture Kid? "A Cross-Cultural Kid (CCK) is a person who has lived in—or meaningfully interacted with—two or more cultural environments for a significant period of time during developmental years. ” - CCK definitions and subgroups by Ruth Van Reken, co-author Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds

Who Are CCKs? • Traditional CCKs – ‘Third Culture Kid’ Children who move into another culture with parents due to a parent’s career choice.

Who Are CCKs? • Bi/multi-cultural/ and/or bi/multiracial children - Children born to parents from at least two cultures or races.

Who Are CCKs? • Children of minorities - Children whose parents are from a racial or ethnic group which is not part of the majority race or ethnicity of the country in which they live.

Who Are CCKs? • Children of immigrants - Children whose parents have made a permanent move to a new country where they were not originally citizens

Who Are CCKs? • “Domestic” CCKs - Children who move in or among various subcultures within their home country.

Four basic cultural types • Foreigner - look different, think different • Hidden Immigrant - look alike, think different • Adopted - look different, think alike • Mirror - look alike, think alike

Challenges • Lack of a ‘home base’ means it’s hard for CCK’s to have an identity of where they are from or what nationality they truly are, which can create a feeling of emptiness • The emotional upset of having to say goodbye to people and places on a regular basis • Confused loyalties—sense of confusion about complex things such as politics, patriotism, and values

Challenges • The anger felt toward parents for ‘plucking’ them away from their ‘home’ • The guilt felt that is associated with being angry at parents • Culture shock • Finding it difficult to make new connections and friends—”what’s the point if we’re going to move on again soon anyway”—separation anxiety, loneliness and isolation

Challenges • Family disharmony • Unresolved grief/anger—saying goodbye hurts • May not deal well with conflicts. It has always been easier to ‘outwait’ them, knowing another move is coming soon • Seen as unpatriotic if a CCK tries to present another culture’s potential viewpoint • The rootless and restless syndrome. “I don’t belong anywhere. ”

Benefits • Greater understanding of other cultures builds sensitivity and awareness (flexibility, tolerance, respect) • Reflective thinkers—knowing that there are many ways to approach a given situation and that their way may not be the best way • Stronger practical skills—observational skills, listening skills, cross-cultural skills, social skills, linguistic skills

Benefits • Quick, adaptable thinkers who are used to thinking outside of the box • Globally minded and have a keen understanding for what is happening in the world around them • Develop sensitivity and empathy at an earlier age and at a deeper level • Mature (in some areas) more quickly—early autonomy, relationship to adults, broad base of knowledge

Benefits • International schools offer enhanced and enriched academic programs and have good links with many universities around the world • Increased opportunities to travel and experience new cultures first hand—authentic learning experiences • Drawn to careers associated with service to the community or the world

Things We Have In Common • CCK’s tend to have more in common with one another, regardless of nationality, than they do with non-CCKs from their own country. • CCK’s link, bond and look to their peers for norms and acceptance much more readily than they will do with adults. • CCK’s generally are much more successful in higher education and in attaining high level jobs.

What Can We Do? 2 Principles #1 Trust yourself as a parent. You are the best parent for you child. #2 Our children are always smarter than we think.

Tips • Validate your child’s feelings and be prepared for strong emotional reactions • Develop continuity • Understand where all members are in the transition cycle • Keep communication open • Support yourself