Parents Pupu Platter An OHA Parenting Project Parents

Parents’ Pupu Platter An OHA Parenting Project

Parents’ Pupu Platter Session Two: Communicating Effectively with Your Child —Building Relationships and Setting Boundaries

‘Ōlelo No‘eau He ‘a‘ali‘i ku makani mai au; ‘a‘ohe makani nana e kula‘i. I am a wind resisting ‘a‘ali‘i. No gale can push me over. I can hold my own in the face of difficulties.

Session Objectives Topics covered in this session will help you: use key verbal strategies to set expectations and resolve conflicts with your child. identify verbal and nonverbal communication skills that support relationship building. identify key community resources available for family and parenting support.

Ground Rules • Privacy • Respect

Spaghetti Tower

The Spaghetti Tower Your challenge: Build the tallest free standing spaghetti tower 0: 00– 2: 00 minutes You can speak to each other, but you CANNOT touch the materials 2: 01– 6: 00 minutes You can touch the materials, but you CANNOT speak to each other

The Spaghetti Tower 1) What was the easiest part of this activity? 2) What was the most frustrating? 3) How did you communicate without words? 4) Did group members respond differently? 5) How do you feel about your team’s tower?

Communication

Practical Communication Tips Practice on easy messages

Practical Communication Tips Practice on easy messages Make sure someone’s home

Practical Communication Tips Practice on easy messages Make sure someone’s home Encourage reflection & expression

Practical Communication Tips Practice on easy messages Make sure someone’s home Encourage reflection & expression Use public and private comments wisely

Practical Communication Tips Practice on easy messages Make sure someone’s home Encourage reflection & expression Use public and private comments wisely Understand avoid the coercive cycle

The Coercive Cycle Adult makes request Child doesn’t do what was asked Child reacts with hostility Adult reacts with hostility or withdraws

RPM 3 Respond Prevent Monitor Mentor Model

RESPOND 1) Respond—Don’t React

RESPOND 1) Respond—Don’t React 2) Respond Appropriately

PREVENT 1) Learn To Spot Possible Problems

PREVENT 1) Learn To Spot Possible Problems 2) Learn To Work through Problems

MONITOR 1) Be Aware

MONITOR 1) Be Aware 2) Set Limits—Don’t Be Too Rigid

MENTOR 1) Guide.

MENTOR 1) Guide. 2) Work together.

MODEL 1) Do as you say AND say as you do.

MODEL 1) Do as you say AND say as you do. 2) Perfection IS NOT the goal.

The Biggest Messages 1) Love/Support 2) Try & Try Again & Again

Activity

Personal Reflection

Small Group

Small Group 1. What was one of your biggest discoveries so far? 2. Looking back, what personality traits did you see as your group communicated to build your spaghetti tower? 3. What is a communication challenge in your family? Brainstorm with others on how you can address the challenge.

Ha‘ilono

Ha‘ilono: Telling the News • What were common themes you discovered within your group? • Did your group have any “a-ha” moments?

Community Resources

Closing/Evaluation

Parents’ Pupu Platter Session Two: Communicating Effectively with Your Child —Building Relationships and Setting Boundaries