SUPPORTING FATHERS ON PARENTING ORDERS Parenting Orders are

SUPPORTING FATHERS ON PARENTING ORDERS

Parenting Orders are made for the Parents of young people who : “ - - - are at risk of, or known to be engaged in offending, or who are failing to attend school. ”

• Responsibility for these orders lies with YOT’s and EWO’s. • Failure to comply can result in criminal “breach” proceedings, return to court, and potentially a fine or a further order being made • Programmes vary enormously, “off the shelf courses need adapting for the special challenges presented by parents of young offenders. ”(PRB) • Programmes tailored specifically for fathers do not exist.

OBJECTIVES • Dealing with conflict and challenging behaviour by young people. • Constructive supervision and monitoring of young people. • Setting and maintaining boundaries and ground rules for young people. • Communication and negotiation skills. • Reducing stress and family conflict.

Some Facts and Figures • The majority of attendees are female (81%). • However, the majority of young people in respect of whom the orders are made, are male (77%). • Almost half the attendees are single parents (49%). • Non-resident parents (generally fathers) are not involved in the vast majority of cases.

FATHERS ON ORDERS • Fathers make up only a small percentage of parents complying with orders. • In a typical group of around 12 parents attending a programme – only 1 is likely to be a man. (Pers obs. ) • In four years, I had only one group with more than one father in it! • However, this rate is high when compared to other more traditional parenting programmes.

FATHERS ON ORDERS • Low referral numbers, combined with the limited time frame allowed for complying with an order, mean that the possibility for all male groups is almost impossible. • The result is that most fathers will end up attending a mixed group.

ALTERNATIVES TO GROUPWORK • One to One programmes. • The programme content is generally the same as the groupwork programmes, however much harder for the facilitator to deliver. • If offered a choice, most fathers will choose this route. • Some of the reasons for this are logistical. • However, groupwork is clearly more powerful in achieving the desired outcomes.

SOME OF THE REASONS • Work commitments. • “I don’t want everyone knowing my business” • “ - - groups aren’t for me” • “I don’t want to be preached at by a load of women” • “ --- it’ll be all touchy feely” • Any number of increasingly bizarre excuses! • All of which simply demonstrate an extreme reluctance to engage.

PROGRAMMES • TSA (also Escape). • Parenting Wisely. • Teenagers in Trouble. • Time out for Teenagers. • Living with Teenagers. • Adaptations of other existing programmes.

LIVING WITH TEENAGERS Components of the programme are: - • Raising self-esteem – (very hard one to one) even harder for a single male in the group! • Understanding child development during the teenage years. • Behaviour management. Rules / consequences. praise / reward. • Series of exercises on communication and negotiation.

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY FOR FATHERS! • Gender roles – “I’ll fetch the wife” syndrome. • Being forced to attend. • Stigmatisation. • Lack of early years support. • “he’ll be left home soon anyway” • Complying – but just going through the motions.

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY FOR FATHERS • Lack of opportunities to bring about change. • Hard for any parent. • Being asked to challenge what are often quite fundamental beliefs. • Men more likely to “pick up the rope”. • As the role model – being asked not just to change the way you parent, but to change the way you live!

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY FOR SERVICE PROVIDERS. • Lack of male staff. • Issues around training. Understanding the fathers role. • Working with parents of teenagers is already challenging, working with fathers of teenagers, a double whammy! • Venues. (JRF research) • Can be seen as a punitive part of the criminal justice system.

THE WAY FORWARD. Training on three levels: - 1. Working with fathers 2. Groupwork skills. 3. Delivering programmes designed for parents of teenagers. • Early intervention. Persuading fathers to be more involved earlier on – don’t wait until things go wrong in the teenage years.

THE WAY FORWARD • Promote both the importance and benefits of engaging fathers at both a local and policy level. • NSF • Policies should be naturally inclusive, fathers are still sometimes seen as some kind of bolt-on. • Parenting Action Plan for Wales: “ - - -(the plan) recognises that the needs of mothers and fathers, of male and female carers, are not always the same”