A Journey Towards Effective Parenting Gayane Akopian AMFT

A Journey Towards Effective Parenting Gayane Akopian, AMFT Nancy Pacheco, MSW Intern Xenia Martinez, BASW Intern

Parenting is. . . ❖ ❖ ❖ What is Parenting? Providing your child with guidance Meeting your child’s needs Having good communication Being alert and active Being happy Parenting also is… ◆ ◆ ◆ Making mistakes Getting angry Being tired Not fulfilling every need of the child Seeking the correct guidance

Myths and Facts True or False? 1) Parenting is an instinct FALSE! This is a MYTH. Many parenting skills must be learned through knowledge and experience. 2) Good parenting means good children FALSE! This is a MYTH. Many other influences (peers, extended family, [social] media, etc. ) impact children 3) Parents feel extremely confident in their parenting styles and methods FALSE! This is a MYTH. At no time in history have parents been very sure of their role! -- What may have worked for your parents may not be working now!

Parenting Styles ❏Authoritarian ❏Permissive ❏Democratic

Authoritarian ➔ Limits without freedom ◆ Obedience oriented: Lectures, yelling, punishment ◆ Strict & cold demeanor ◆ Controlling children through shaming or punishment Outcome For Now: Obedient children. Later on : Distrustful, no expression of freedom, withdrawn, unhappy, hostile, not high achieving (academically and personally).

Permissive ➔ Freedom without limits ◆ Anything goes! No attempt to control or discipline ◆ Few rules ◆ Not much structure Outcome For now : aggressive Later on: Increased aggression, little to no self-reliance, little to no self-control. Least exploratory, most unhappy. Poor problem solving and decision making skills

Democratic ➔ Freedom within limits ◆ Middle ground approach - parenting ideal ◆ Warmth and guidance through respect and positive discipline ◆ Understanding and encouragement Outcome For now: Seeming consistently happy Later on: Self-reliant and self-controlled. Generous, cooperative, high achieving (academically and personally)

A-Z’s of Effective Parenting A B C D Accept your child for the wonderful person they are Be a good role model is all you say or do. Communicate respectfully and listen attentively Discipline fairly, firmly, and with love.

E Encourage good eating habits. F Find ways to get and stay fit. G Give chores that build responsibility. H Hug your child to build self-worth.

I Instill respect for other people. J Jointedness in decision making. K Keep promises or do not make them. L Laugh together and enjoy each other’s company.

M Make the family rules and enforce them consistently. N Never use physical force. O P Offer your help when it’s needed. Praise your child for achievement.

S Q R Quickly stop your child from harmful activities. Read together as often as possible. Show patience. T Teach health and safety rules.

U Use every opportunity to show your love. W V Value your child’s thoughts and opinions. Wait until you calm down before disciplining your child.

Y X Xerox and save records of your child’s achievements. You can make a difference in your child’s life. Z Zestfully enjoy the journey of parenting.

Thank you all for your cooperation and attention. Questions?