CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP PROGRAM 2 TEAMWORK AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION

CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP PROGRAM #2 TEAMWORK AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION ICCFM

OBJECTIVES OF THIS PROGRAM As a result of participating in this short program, participants will be able to: 1. Tell the factors that contribute to effective teamwork. 2. Tell the causes of interpersonal conflicts. 3. Tell the three requirements for a Christian leader in conflict resolutions. 4. List down the attitudes in conflict situation and the consequences of each.

5. Know the steps in bringing the two parties to a meeting 6. List the behaviors and attitudes of a team leader and members to achieve unity within the team and with the other teams. 7. Know the attitudes, values and skills in effective conflict resolution.

What is a TEAM? TEAM A group of people committed to achieve a common goal.

A GOAL is achieved better and faster, if the people involved work together as a TEAM.

CHARACTERISTICS OF AN EFFECTIVE TEAM • • Members are interdependent Members respect and trust one another Members communicate with one another Members observe time frame for achieving an agreed-on goal.

FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO EFFECTIVE TEAMWORK: Leader and members – • Are united around a common goal • Have clearly defined roles • There is a good relationship among them based on trust, respect and support • They agree on procedure to be used in doing their work

SELF-REFLECTION. Reflect on the team that you belong or have belonged to: 1. Are these factors present? 2. What was your role in the team? 3. Were you happy with the way you performed your role in the team? 4. Were you happy with the way each member performed his/her role in the team? SHARE with a group.

Effective teamwork does not just happen. People expected to work as a team don’t always work as a team.

Peace and unity are important factors for effective teamwork. However, in any relationship, conflicts are inevitable. It is normal to have conflicts within the team. . Some conflicts are minor; others are major ones.

WHAT IS CONFLICT? • • • Difference Disagreement Rivalry Dispute Clash

KINDS OF CONFLICTS v Intrapersonal - within one’s self v Interpersonal – with other people - Internal – within one’s family/group - External – outside one’s family/group v Organizational/institutional - with the norms and values of the institution you belong to.

SELF-REFLECTION. In your experience with teams, both those you have been a part of and those that came to your knowledge, what were the cause(s) of conflicts among the leader and members? List them down. Compare your list with those of others.

CAUSES OF INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS: • Difference in personalities • Difference in perception or interpretation of a situation • Difference in values and priorities • Difference in interests and preferences • Politics divide people • Competitive spirit • Any other?

SHARE 1. An example of each of the above causes of interpersonal conflicts. 2. What happens when conflicts are not resolved.

“…If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand, And if a house is divided against itself, That house will not be able to stand…” Mark 3: 24 -25

Conflicts were common in the early life of the Church. • The Christian Community in Corinth was the most gifted of all the early churches, but it was also the most problematic.

“For it has been reported to me about you, my brothers, by Chloe’s people, that there are rivalries among you…” (1 Cor. 1: 11) • And what about the conflict between Peter and Paul about circumcision, eating of meats, etc, or between Paul and Barnabas?

What breaks up a team is not the presence of conflict but the lack of resolution of the conflict. It is incumbent on the Christian leader to be proactive in resolving the conflict rather than wait for it to die.

Christian leaders need training in handling conflicts effectively. It is important that conflicts are resolved the soonest possible time.

Otherwise, the leader’s lack of ability could encourage wrongdoers and discourage the members from contributing their best to achieve the team goal!

REQUIREMENTS FOR A CHRISTIAN LEADER IN CONFLICT RESOLUTIONS 1. Character – Person of integrity with the heart of a good shepherd. 2. Competence – Courage and ability to confront and solve conflict situations. 3. Good relationship with members of his/her team

Managing conflicts in a team is a critical leadership competency Conflict resolution is probably where leaders fail the most A leader may avoid confronting a wrong doer in the guise of being patient and loving

ATTITUDES IN CONFLICT SITUATION • Win/Lose – aggression. I win, you lose • Lose/Win – non-assertion. I lose, you win. • Lose/Lose or No-Win Situation – nonassertive. If I lose, you also lose. • Compromise – I give up something, You give up something also. • Win/Win – Both of us are assertive. Both of us gain/benefit.

Win/Lose ─ “My way!” ─ Use of one’s power – rank, position, age, financial/economic advantage, emotional and psychological advantage ─ Use of aggressive communication

Lose/Win ─ Self-sacrifice / “Have it your way” ─ Obeying other person ─ Yielding to another person’s point of view or desire ─ Use of non-assertive communication

Lose/Lose ─ Avoidance – “Let’s not talk about it” ─ One does not pursue own concern neither does he pursue the other person’s concern ─ Diplomatically side stepping or postponing an issue until another time

Compromising ─ Low form of win-win ─ Seeking a quick middle ground solution ─ Finding an expedient mutually acceptable solution which partially satisfies both parties ─ Could mean splitting differences, or exchanging concessions

Win/Win - Collaborating ─ Involves working out with the other person to find a solution which fully satisfies the concerns of both parties ─ Exploring an issue to identify underlying concerns to find a creative solution which satisfies both parties ─ Discerning God’s Will

SELF-REFLECTION. Think of a situation where you had a conflict with someone in your family/community/workplace/apostolate/ ministry? 1. What was the issue? 2. How did you feel? 3. What were your behaviors towards the person? SHARE with the group or with one person.

POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES OF EACH ATTITUDES 1. Win-Lose: • Future problem-solving difficult • Undermines trust and cooperation • May eventually result in lose/lose situation

2. Lose - Win • May suppress important issues • Solution is temporary • May result in accumulating bad feelings (hurt, resentment) on the part of the loser

3. Lose/Lose • Avoidance – “Let’s not talk about it” • Diplomatically side stepping or postponing an issue until another time • Differences are “swept under the rug”

4. Compromising • Low quality decision • One or both parties may not be committed to the decision • Bad feelings between parties may linger • May still result in a winner and a loser

5. Win-Win Collaboration • Uses conflict resolution skills • May be time consuming and costly • Long-term healthy relationship between parties

SELF-REFLECTION. Reflect again on the conflict situation you had. 1. What attitude did you have? How about the other person? 2. How was the conflict resolved? 3. Were you happy with the way it was resolved? SHARE the outcome and how you felt.

HOW A CHRISTIAN LEADER RESOLVES CONFLICT WITHIN HIS TEAM Resolving conflict requires certain attitudes and values which a Christian leader must show and model to his/her team members. PART I. PREPARATION 1. Pray to God to guide you in resolving the conflict continue

2. Talk to each party in private. Know the issue, the needs involved. 3. Ask each one to pray with you to be open to the grace of God in resolving the conflict 4. Schedule a meeting with you and both parties continue

PART II. THE MEETING In a quiet and private room, the three of you face each other. 1. Pray together asking the Lord to bless your meeting and to open your hearts to Him and to each other. 2. Read/reflect on: The Unity of the Body (Eph. 4: 2 -3, 15 -16, 29) continue

3. Give the following ground rules: 3. 1. Only one person (i. e. , Person A) talks and the other (Person B) listens. 3. 2. Person B listens attentively to Person A. 3. 3. Person B paraphrases what person A said and how Person A feels about the issue. continue

3. 4. Person B now speaks while Person A listens attentively. 3. 5. Person A paraphrases what person B said and how Person B feels about the issue. 4. Leader summarizes the positions of Persons A and B and what each one wants. 5. Pray together to discern God’s will on the matter. continue

6. After a period of silence, the Leader asks them what is a Win-win solution based on their discernment of God’s will. 7. Leader summarizes agreement between Person A and B. 8. Prayer of thanksgiving

If conflict is handled properly by the Christian leader, • It can produce better decisions and results/outcomes. • Collaboration among members of a team produces synergy leading to strong positive relationship among them.

THE UNITY OF THE BODY (Eph. 4: 2 -3, 15 -16, 29) Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another. Do your best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives by means of the peace that binds you together… by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ who is the head. continue

Under his control all different parts of the body fit together, and the whole body is held together by every joint with which it is provided. So when each separate parts of the body works as it should, the whole body grows and builds itself up thru love. continue

Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you… continue

Get rid of all bitterness, passion and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tenderhearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you thru Christ.

SELF-REFLECTION. 1. What touches you in Ephesians 4? 2. What attitudes and behaviors are required of the leader and members to preserve the unity within the team? 3. How should they communicate with one another? 4. What negative behaviors are to be avoided because they hurt others and may cause them to withdraw from the team or to be passive during meetings?

SHARE 1. Your Self-Reflection. 2. What will you, as part of a team, want to contribute to make it grow? 3. What gifts and skills are you going to use to make your team grow?

WHAT VALUES AND ATTITUDES ARE NEEDED IN A SUCCESSFUL CONFLICT RESOLUTION 1. Humility 2. Respect for self and for the other person 3. Openness to the other person 4. Trust for each other 5. Willingness to change one’s perception and behavior (Paradigm Shift) 6. Desire for God’s will to prevail in decisions the team make.

SKILLS USED IN SUCCESSFUL CONFLICT RESOLUTION 1. Listening – active and empathic. This shows humility. 2. Paraphrasing 3. Summarizing 4. Identifying and acknowledging the feelings of the other person 5. Feedback skills- Use the I - message

USE THE I - MESSAGE I + feeling for your behavior Feeling – positive or - negative

Examples: Leader: I am happy that you are listening attentively to our discussion and asking questions. Leader: (said in private) I am disappointed that you arrived late for our meeting and you were conversing with Pete instead of listening.

When a Leader gives positive feedback to a positive behavior, there is a big probability that this behavior will be repeated. In addition, there is positive feeling established on the part of the person to whom the positive feedback is given.

Negative feedback, given in private, corrects the negative behavior and makes it unlikely for the behavior to be repeated. The Christian leader uses Fraternal Correction taught by Jesus Himself in Mt. 18: 15 -18

Christian Leadership is a gift from God. He equips those He chooses to: • “Feed my lambs” • “Feed my sheep”