Fairhope Middle School TOPICS What are Coping Skills

Fairhope Middle School

TOPICS: What are Coping Skills Types of Coping Skills Toolbox Self-Talk and Coping Thoughts Effect Emotions and Behavior Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Where do feelings come from? Using Positive Self-Talk Challenging the Self-talk Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones Replacement Thoughts Unhelpful Thinking Styles Stress Coping with Anxiety Positive Coping Strategies to Deal with Stress and Emotions 50 Ways to Take a Break and Coping Skills Checklist Coping with the Ups and Downs of Middle School Friendships The Guide to Making New Friends Tips for Making and Keeping Friends 10 Ways to Start a Friendship/10 Ways to End a Friendship Healthy Relationships/Unhealthy Relationships Coping with Friendships- Use Positive Self-Talk My Coping Skills Checklist and Positive Self-Talk/Coping Thoughts Worksheets

WHAT ARE COPING SKILLS? Things we can do to make ourselves feel better when we are going through difficult times

SELF-TALK and COPING Self Talk Is…. The Internal Voice In Our Head Our internal conversation It determines how we perceive situations It is our thoughts and our beliefs Self-Talk can be positive or negative and influences how we feel.

Where Do Feelings Come From? Can You Change How You Feel? How?

Using Positive Self-Talk “I will get through this. I am stronger than I feel right now. ’’ “This is temporary. ’’ “I can do this. I can handle this. ’’ “I’m allowed to feel this way and will learn from this experience. ’’ “I will go easy on myself. ’’ “I am worthy of love and respect. ’’ “I can let go of anger and fear and let in love and joy. ’’ “No matter what happens, I will be okay. ’’ “I am doing the best that I can. ’’ “One step at a time. ’’ “This situation is not a problem, it’s an opportunity. ’’ Which of these positive self-talk statements will work best for you in coping with stress in your life?

Challenging the Self-Talk Disputing your self-talk means challenging the negative or unhelpful aspects. Doing this enables you to feel better and to respond to situations in a more helpful way. Using goal-directed thinking Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals? I Can’t Do This! I CAN DO THIS!

Replacement Thoughts Instead of Thinking Must Should Have to Can’t Ought All Always Can’t stand Awful Bad person I am a failure Prefer Choose to Want Choose not to Had better Many Often Don’t like Highly undesirable Bad behavior I failed at Instead of Saying I have to do well. You shouldn’t do that. You never help me. I can’t stand my job. You are a bad boy. I’m a loser. Instead of Saying Anxious Depressed Angry Guilt Shame Hurt Jealous Try Thinking Exchange With I want to do well. I prefer you not do that. You rarely help me. I don’t like my job. That behavior is undesirable. I failed at this one task. Exchange With Concerned Sad Annoyed Remorse Regret Disappointed Concern for my relationship

YOU WERE BORN TO BE REAL, NOT TO BE PERFECT. IT’S OK. The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. KEEP GOING, YOU ARE GETTING THERE. “KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND KNOW IT’S ENOUGH. “ You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life. WHAT CONSUMES YOUR MIND, CONTROLS YOUR LIFE. Change the way you see things, and the things you see will change

STRESS Feeling stressed is common in teens School is top source of stress in teens The mind and body are closely connected, and stress can affect the body from head to toe. It’s normal to have some stress in life. But if stress persists at high levels for a long time, it can have lasting negative effects on health. Chronic (long-term) stress can cause anxiety, a weakened immune system, and can contribute to diseases such as depression. Video: “Just Breathe”, 3: 42 minutes https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=RVA 2 N 6 t. X 2 cg

Coping with Anxiety

Healthy Coping Strategies to Manage Anxiety Everyone has feelings of anxiety, nervousness, tension, and stress from time to time. That’s normal. *Recognize and acknowledge that you feel anxiety. *Practice Relaxation Techniques- Deep breathing helps to relax a major nerve that runs from the diaphragm to the brain, sending a message to the entire body to let go and loosen up. *Get enough sleep, nourishment, and exercise. Get the right amount of sleep for your needs — not too much or too little. Eat well: Choose fruit, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains for long-term energy (instead of the short bursts that come from too much sugar or caffeine). And exercise to send oxygen to every cell in the body so your brain and body can operate at their best. *Connect with others. Spend time with friends or family. Organized activities are great, but just hanging out works too. Doing things with those we feel close to deepens our bonds, allowing us to feel supported and secure. And the fun and sharing that go with it allow us to feel happier and less upset about things. *Connect with nature. Being outside can help you feel peaceful and grounded. *Pay attention to the good things. A great way to keep our minds off the worry track is to focus our thoughts on things that are good, beautiful, and positive. Appreciate the small, everyday blessings. Allow yourself to dream, wish, and imagine the best that could happen. Use Positive Self-Talk! *Consider taking a break from social media and get off the grid for a while! Note: When anxiety or worry feels extreme, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. For someone who has an anxiety disorder, getting proper care from a health professional is important. Video: ” 4 Ways to Cope with Anxiety”- 3. 39 Minutes https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=0 d. Ep. JIv. Dq. Ok

Positive Coping Strategies to Deal with Stress and Emotions Talking to parents or friends Exercise / sports Yoga Meditation Reading Problem solving Thinking positive / being optimistic Using humor Listening to music Hobbies / recreation Journal / writing Hanging out with friends Praying / religious activities Social support / asking for help Getting enough sleep

Coping Skills Coping skills are things we can do to make ourselves feel better when we are going through difficult times. The activities listed below are things you can do to help you feel better when you are upset. Take Care of Yourself: Eat Healthy Food Sleep Well Understand How You Feel Exercise: Go for a Walk Ride a Bike Do Yoga Do Things You Enjoy: Draw Enjoy Nature Laugh Sing Hang Out with Friends Play a Game Watch a Movie Paint Listen to Music Make a Playlist Make a List of Things You Like Change Your Thoughts by Using different Parts of Your Brain: Read Write a Story or Poem Set a Goal Learn Something New Journal Keep a Positive Attitude: Make a List of Things You Like Focus on What You Can Control Say Positive Affirmations Use a Stress Ball Take 10 Deep Breaths Helping Other People Can Shift Our Focus and Make Us Feel Better. Perform a Random Act of Kindness Get Help: Talk to a Friend Talk to a Trusted Adult Get Away from the Problem: © thehelpfulcounselor. com

Coping with the Ups and Downs of Middle School Friendships * Friendships are important to middle school students *Friends can make everything more fun and help deal with life Good About Having Friends: *Enjoying time together after school *Having someone to talk to or confide in *Getting another point of view when dealing with a problem *Sharing common interests *Dealing with school problems *Keeping one another out of trouble *Having someone stick up for you *Knowing you’re not going it all alone The Bad: *Sometimes friends drift apart or form other friendships *Sometimes friendships don’t last and you get “dumped” *Sometimes friends let you down, disappoint you, or exclude you *Sometimes friends emotionally manipulate you *Sometimes friends change and start making bad/dangerous choices *Making friends can be hard ASK YOURSELF: IS HE OR SHE A REAL FRIEND?

The Truth About Real Friends Real friends support one another Real friends say "I'm sorry" Real friends are not jealous Real friends can be trusted Real friends show respect Real friends listen to one another Real friends make an effort Real friends may act like "jerks" some of the time, but they eventually come around Real friends lift each other up and want the best for each other Real friends don’t tell their friends negative things said by others

Coping with Friendships. Use Positive Self-Talk! 1. It’s normal for friendships to evolve and change. 2. Everything will be okay. In time your friendships will solidify, and you’ll know more clearly who is good for you and meant to be in your life. 3. Rather than focus on finding the right friends, concentrate on being the right friend. 4. Even when you find your “people”, always leave room at the table to invite someone new in. 5. If you are “dumped” by a friend, remember that you can use your coping skills and get through it. Hurt feelings when this happens are normal and they will pass. You will survive and a new friend will come along. Be patient and be a good friend yourself.

Use Phone Apps for Stress Relief and the Digital Calming Room During difficult times it's especially important to take time to check in with our emotions. https: //sites. google. com/shannonmareeteaching. co m/digital-calming-room

My Coping Skills Checklist Positive Self-Talk/Coping Thoughts Worksheets