Writing Revising and Editing Judith A Murciano Welcome

Writing (Revising and Editing) Judith A. Murciano

Welcome to the Revising and Editing Workshop • This presentation invites you to discover why and how you can improve your writing and critical thinking skills by effective Revising and Editing in an interactive Webinar from 5: 30 -7: 15 PM • During the first part of our workshop, we will focus on a series of slides that will put us all on the same page for gaining skills and insights into how to re-envision drafts for greatest advantage • We will actively apply well-tested techniques using illustrative examples • The last 30 minutes will engage your writing questions and challenges • The final slide will provide a sample of useful resources • Packets available @ http: //fas. harvard. edu/~murciano/

Revising: The Job of Writing Begins • “When the draft is complete, the job of writing can begin” (Donald Murray, “The Maker’s Eye”). • Read your draft as a reader. • “I hate to write, but I love to have written” (Dorothy Parker)

Definitions: What is Revision? How does Revision Differ from Editing? • “Revision” means “seeing again” with a fresh perspective and critical eye • Revision is the most important, challenging, and rewarding stage in the writing process • Revision requires a rigorous willingness to reconsider all parts and even the whole of your draft, argument, and evidence, and to make substantial changes as a result of your critical analysis • Editing requires you check for precision and style in grammar, syntax, clarity, language, and concision • This Workshop will address both the Revision and Editing Processes

Discovery • Writer E. L. Doctorow claimed that “the act of composition is a series of discoveries. ” Your draft represents the first stage of this process: • Generating ideas • Focusing a topic • Establishing a substantive thesis argument with a motivating tension • Organizing the Essay: Striving for Unity from topic sentence to transition • Organizing paragraphs with topic sentences and developed evidence

The Challenge • You may be very attached to what you have written, and you may not want to change a word not to mention several paragraphs • Playwright and short story writer Anton Chekov recognized that revision can be both challenging and critical for effective revision: “You must kill your darlings!” • Sculptor: Cut away everything that is not the elephant!

Challenge of Time and Critical Perspective • Writers discover their thoughts and gain perspective by clarifying, challenging, and enlivening their ideas for an audience over Time • Revision is a Process of Discovery from hindsight experience: Was the subject more complex than you anticipated? Did your preconceived ideas prove less interesting than discoveries you made while writing? • Develop a critical eye with time and distance; get objective feedback • Create a Reverse Outline: Identify main ideas in each paragraph; Rank their importance in advancing your thesis; look at idea connections

Gaining Insights for Revision • Is a Complex, Analytical Problem Motivating your Reader? • Did you Orient the audience? • Write a Concise Abstract of your thesis • Rethink your Thesis Argument with a Critical Eye and revisit texts • Did the Writing Fulfill the Purpose and Expectations? • Did you clearly communicate what you intended to argue?

Critical Analysis and Revision Techniques • The Goal: Clarity, Organization, Substance, Style, and Concision • Revising for Idea • Revising for Structure • Revising for Language • Revising for Audience

Revising for Conveying Substantive Ideas • Test the Thesis: Does it answer an analytical question and generate counterarguments? Is the analytical question clear in the introduction? • Succinctly state your thesis and identify each of your claims • Re-read the assignment: where in your essay have you achieved these goals? • Hold thesis against each paragraph: each must support and advance the idea • An evolving thesis: trace backwards to see if and where argument shifts and re -consider analysis of the evidence itself from a fresh perspective • Take strongest, clearest concluding statement and re-write the introduction

Reverse Outline Checklist • Write a Descriptive outline of each paragraph’s function for the essay: • Introduces evidence • Analyzes evidence • Orients the reader • What transitions need to be clearer? • How do these paragraphs advance the argument’s overall structure?

Structure • Map argument’s logic from orientation through attributed evidence development: first and last sentence transitions & flow between paragraphs • Are there parallels and contrasts? Where do the lines of connection lead? • Question and justify the organization and reasoning behind each paragraph • Copy draft and cut out each paragraph; lay each out and re-arrange the order • Highlight: Mark topic sentences in each paragraph; use a different color for sentences supporting that point. Visual cues for evidence vs analysis

Revise for Language • Read your essay aloud and to another person: strengths and weaknesses • Revise on hardcopy after you compose draft on screen • Loose, baggy language: tighten word choices for precision and edit excess • Incorporate stronger verbs; edit out “to be” verbs and passive voice; trim prepositions; • Vary sentence length and rhythm: escalate powerful, persuasive prose and signpost key moments and movements • Use lucid prose; aim for clarity, style, and grace in your language choices

Editing • Precise Grammar: check for subject verb agreement, pronoun compatibility, edit comma splices and fragments • Check for correct punctuation and spelling (remember that spell check does not replace proofreading your own paper) • Are the diction and syntactic choices concise, eloquent, and powerful, or do you have “loser sentences” with opaque words that fall flat or are pompous

How to Spot (or Read Aloud) a Loser Sentence • Train yourself to spot a loser sentence: a sentence you should lose! • Unnecessarily Abstract obscures meaning: “Alice’s fixation with her physical self-image presents itself through repetitive descriptions of clothing and bodily expressions. ” Concretize and simplify. • Official style (high dictions, ponderous nouns, strings of prepositions)=utilize; “His sole purpose in describing the demise of the ‘coolie’ promotes his rationalization of the eventual shooting of the elephant. ” • Passive voice • Vague referent: “This is really important. ” This what? This rule that states you need a noun after this!

Fixing Troubles with Transitions • Packet 6 corrections • Transition sentences point backward, communicate information, and deliver us forward: their positions are critical as SIGNPOSTS to a thesis argument • Troubled Transitions: weak=ineffective sentence construction; revise w/pivot (but, yet, however) or logical marker (further, also) • Joint/echoes (repeat a key word or extend a metaphor for better flow) • Global misplaced paragraph: move paragraph with strong connections

Although some cities have found creative ways to improve access to public transportation for physically handicapped passengers, and fund other programs, there have been problems in our city due to the need to address budget constraints and competing needs. This has led citizens to question how funds are distributed For example, last year when city officials had to chose between allocating funds for accessible transportation or allocating funds to after schools programs, they voted for the after school programs. It is not clear why these are more important.

Although some cities have found creative ways to improve access to public transportation for physically handicapped passengers, and fund other programs, there have been problems in our city has struggled with due to the need to address budget constraints and competing needs priorities. This has led citizens to question how funds are distributed For example, last year when city officials had to chose between allocating funds for accessible transportation or allocating funds to after schools programs, they voted for the after school programs. It is not clear why these are more important.

Although some cities have found creative ways to improve access to public transportation for physically handicapped passengers, and fund other programs, there have been problems in our city has struggled with due to the need to address budget constraints and competing needs priorities. This The budget crunch has led citizens to question how funds are distributed. For example, last year when city officials had to chose between allocating funds for accessible transportation or allocating funds to after schools programs, they voted for the after school programs. It is not clear why these are more important.

Although some cities have found creative ways to improve access to public transportation for physically handicapped passengers, and fund other programs, there have been problems in our city has struggled with due to the need to address budget constraints and competing needs priorities. This The budget crunch has led citizens to question how funds are distributed. For example, last year when city officials voted to use available funds to support had to chose between allocating funds for accessible transportation or allocating funds to after -schools programs rather than transportation upgrade. they voted for the after school programs. It is not clear why these are more important.

Although some cities have found creative ways to improve access to public transportation for physically handicapped passengers, and fund other programs, there have been problems in our city has struggled with due to the need to address budget constraints and competing needs priorities. This The budget crunch has led citizens to question how funds are distributed. For example, last year when city officials voted to use available funds to support had to chose between allocating funds for accessible transportation or allocating funds to after -schools programs rather than transportation upgrade. , they voted for the after school programs. It is not clear to some citizens why these afterschool programs are more important.

Revising for Unity and Coherence • Packet 5

Revising for Clarity and Conciseness • Packet 3

Revising for Focus • Packet 4

Creating Unity and Coherence • Packet 5

Sample Draft in Need of Revision & Editing • According to Diana Hacker, “When you revise sentences, you focus on effectiveness: when you edit, you check for correctness. Proofreading is a slow and careful reading in search of typos and obvious mistakes” (Rules for Writers, p. 29). • Among the examples from the collective wisdom of my colleagues in Harvard’s Expository Writing Program, I have copied below a series of exercises that helps illustrate how reordering the draft of a paragraph can help achieve the key elements of FOCUS, FLOW, and FORM.

Checklist for Revision • Packet 2 • Packet 6

Grammar Gaffes • For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too • Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel • 3 -year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it by hand.

Sample of Resources • Sylvan Barnet, Pat Belanca, and Marcia Stubbs. A Short Guide to College Writing (New York: Pearson Longman, 2008) • Peter Elbow. Writing with Power: Techniques for Mastering the Writing Process (New York: Oxford University Press, 1998) • Diana Hacker. Rules for Writers (Boston: Bedford St. Martin’s Press, 2008) • Sheila Cooper and Rosemary Patton. Writing Logically, Thinking Critically (New York: Longman, 2001) • Richard Lanham. Revising Prose (New York: Longman, 2006) • Joseph Williams and Gregory Colomb. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace (New York: Longman, 2010)

Thank you and enjoy the writing process! Judith A. Murciano