Chapter 12 Peer Relationships 1 Lesson 1 Safe

Chapter 12 Peer Relationships 1

Lesson 1 Safe and Healthy Friendships 2

Types of Peer Relationships • Peers – People of similar age who share similar interests • Types of Relationships – Friendships – Casual Friendships – Close Friendships – Cliques 3

Friendships • Friendship – a significant relationship between two people • Platonic Friendship – a friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple • Casual Friendships • Close Friendships • Cliques 4

Friendships cont. , • True Friendships have several common attributes: – Similar values, interests, beliefs, and attitudes on basic issues – Open and honest communications – Sharing of joys, disappointments, dreams and concerns – Mutual respect, caring and support – Concern about each other’s safety and wellbeing 5

Cliques • Small circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders • Clique members may share the same attitudes, dress a like, meet regularly at the same spot, or engage in other behaviors that identify them as a clique • Positive and Negative influences – Provide a sense of belonging – Discouraged from thinking for themselves or acting as an individual • Prejudice - making assumptions or judgments about an individual without really knowing him or her • Stereotype - an exaggerated and oversimplified belief about an entire group of people, such as an ethnic or religious group or gender 6

Forming Healthy Friendships • Choosing Friends – – – Positive people Healthy attitudes Reinforce your values Motivate you Mutual protective factors – Responsible decision makers • Building and Strengthening Friendships – Built on common values and interests – Be loyal – Encourage each other – Respect each other 7

Lesson 2 Peer Pressure and Refusal Skills 8

Peer Pressure • The influence that people your age may have on you • Your peers can sometimes influence how you think, feel and act • Can have a positive or negative influence on your actions and behaviors 9

Positive Peer Pressure • Influence you to do community service • Volunteer work • Help you to not participate in risk behaviors or activities • Role model – Inspire others to take part in a positive act or worthwhile cause 10

Negative Peer Pressure • Harassment – Persistently annoying others – Name calling, teasing and bullying – Go against your own values • Manipulation – An indirect, dishonest way to control or influence others 11

Common Methods of Manipulation • Mocking or teasing another person in mean or hurtful ways • Using “guilt trips” to get desired results • Bargaining - offering to make a deal to get what one wants • Using flattery or praise to influence another person • Bribing - promising money or favors if the person will do what is asked • Making threats - promising violence or some other negative consequence if the person does not do what is asked • Using blackmail - threatening to reveal some embarrassing or damaging information if the person does not do what is asked 12

Resisting Negative Peer Pressure • Avoid it – Develop friendships with people who share your values and interests – Less pressure – Support of your decision • Refusing to go along with the group – Sometimes teens are worried they will jeopardize their friendship if they do not go along with the pressure – “uncool” 13

Assertive Refusal • Standing up for your rights in a firm but positive way • You state your position and stand your ground • Acknowledge the rights of others • Most effective approach when facing negative peer influences • Often role models for others because people respect individuals who stay true to themselves 14

Refusal Skills • Techniques and strategies that help you say no effectively when faced with something that you don’t want to do or that goes against your values – Step 1: State Your Position • • Simply and firmly Non-verbal messages – Step 2: Suggest Alternatives – Step 3: Stand Your Ground • Strong body language and eye contact 15

Checklist: Assertive Communication Skills • • • “I” messages Respectful but firm tone of voice Alternatives to action Clear, simple statements Appropriate body language 16

Passive and Aggressive Responses • Passive – Tendency to give up, give in, or back down without standing up for their own rights and needs • Maybe be viewed as pushovers • Aggressive – Overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or otherwise attacking in their approach • Shouting, yelling, shoving or insulting 17

Lesson 3 Dating and Setting Limits 18

Dating • Can be an enjoyable learning experience • Opportunity to develop social skills, such as communicating and interacting with a person of the opposite gender • Learn more about yourself • Discover new interests, reaffirm their values, and even start thinking about the type of person with whom they might like to build a future 19

Dating cont. , • Infatuation – Exaggerated feelings of passion for another person – Be careful not to mistake them for genuine affection • Affection – – A feeling of fondness for someone Comes when you know a person well Friendship and caring Express affection with communication and listening, holding hands, hugging, and spending quality time together 20

Deciding to Date • Everyone is unique • Not everyone dates • Some people might be shy around the opposite gender • Other interests • No reason to be pressured into dating if you are not ready for it • Ease into dating you can – Go out with a group of friends of both genders – Group date or double date 21

What to Do on a Date • Depends on who you are with • Your interests • Go to the movies, dinner, sporting events, school dances • When you get to know each other better you will have a better idea of your interests and will be able to find activities you both enjoy 22

Activities • Sports or Athletic – You and your date like sports – Promote health and provide a way for dates to share and develop common interests – Friendly and relaxed atmosphere • Community – Zoo or local museum – Music or theatre, concerts or plays – Tourist attractions • Charitable – Build strong friendships and dating relationships – Habitat for Humanity, walk-a-thon, maintain parks and beaches 23

What can I do to make a good impression on a first date? • • Relax and be yourself Be honest Plan your date Be courteous 24

Avoiding Risk Situations • Some dating situations may increase the chance of being pressured to participate in sexual activity or some other high-risk behaviors • Before you go on your date, know where you are going and what you will be doing • Find out who else will be there and discuss with your parents what time you should be home • Regardless of where you go, make sure you have money with you • Avoid places where alcohol and other drugs are present • Avoid being alone with your date at home or in an isolated place 25

Dating Relationships • The choice to have an ongoing dating relationship can help you develop skills and behaviors that will some day prepare you for the dignity, respect, and responsibility required in a marriage • It may limit your chances for socializing with others, prevent you from developing other positive relationships • Teen years are a time for trying many different roles and relationships • Relationships can be difficult to start or end but it helps you to mature emotionally 26