Understanding Emotional States of Mind How our emotional

Understanding Emotional States of Mind How our emotional state affects cognitive thinking Presented By: Chris Baroody

Crisis and loss • Inevitable part of the process of life • Loss sets the stage for growth and recreation • Loss is both monumental and incidental • In knowing how loss plays out we can understand ourselves and others better • We can help others walk the journey and ultimately be better servants of God

Obvious Losses • Death of a loved one • Natural disaster • Break-up of an affair • Separation • Divorce • Loss of a relationship • or friend Illness • Loss of a job • Loss of • • • money/bankruptcy Robbery Rape or violent crime War Moving Foreclosure

Less obvious loss • Changing teachers • Changing schools • Success (loss of • striving) Loss of a pet • Loss of cherished • • ideal Loss of long-term goal Loss of need (as children grow)

Loss related to age • • Childhood dreams Puppy love Crushes Adolescent romances Leaving/changing schools Changing grades Leaving home Loss of youth • Loss of beauty • Loss of hair/teeth • Loss of sexual drive (or • • worse, the drive remains but the ability falters Menopause Retirement

Limbo losses • Awaiting medical tests • Couple on the brink of • • divorce for the fourteenth time A friend or relative missing in action of disaster Lovers, friends, parents and children after a quarrel • Business transaction that • • may or may not fall through Lawsuit Putting your house up for sale

“Everyone is just waiting” • If the loss is inevitable: prepare, discuss, decide • We live with mini losses as well as temporary losses • Doubt feels like a loss, even if everything turns out ok – Not knowing often creates huge anxiety

Feelings of Loss • Each loss has an effect on our emotional schema – immediate or cumulative, sudden or eventual, obvious or not – Emotional wound; injury to the organism • Feeling helpless, fearful, empty, despairing, pessimistic, irritable, angry, guilty, restless

Feelings of Loss • Experiencing a loss of concentration, hope, motivation, energy • Changes in appetite, sleep patterns or sexual drive • A tendency to be more fatigued, errorprone and slower in speech and movement • Depression

Recovery • Shock/Denial/Numbness • Fear/Anger/Depression • Understanding/Acceptance/Moving on • Each stage is part of the healing process • Healing has progressions and regressions

Understanding Emotional Intelligence • What is Emotion? – Oxford English Dictionary “Any agitation, or disturbance of mind, feeling, passion, any vehement or excited mental state” – Daniel Goleman “Emotion refers to a feeling and its distinctive thoughts, psychological and biological states, and range of propensities to act”

Why Emotions • Emotions guide us in facing situations too important to • • • leave up to intellect alone. Emotions help us react to things like danger, painful loss, goal persistence, bonding with a mate, and building a family. Every emotion poises us to react As challenges are overcome through species development our emotional schema becomes imprinted in our nerves as innate automatic tendencies of behavior. The more intense the feeling the more dominant the emotional reaction and the more ineffective the rational.

Genetic Propensity • Humans have adapted their environment and advanced technology • However; brains have changed very little – Midbrain: Avoid Conflict and Survive – The brain can not tell the difference between real and imaginary

The Brain and Emotions • Limbic System: – Refined learning and memory – Olfactory is the most ancient emotional root

The Brain and Emotions • Cortex and Neocortex – – – Regions that plan Seat of thought Center to assimilate: comprehend, reflect, perceive Adds to feelings Allows us to think about art, symbols and imaging Allows for the subtlety and complexity of emotional life – The cortex and Neocortex interpret but do not govern life

The Brain and Emotions • Amygdala and Hippocampus – Limbic structures do most of the brain’s learning and remembering – The amygdala can take control over what we do even as the thinking brain is still coming to a decision – The amygdala scans every experience for trouble – The amygdala is our psychological guard, challenging every situation and perception for danger, fear, passion, joy etc… – If it decides “YES” it reacts like an emotional tripwire telegraphing a message of crisis to the brain

Hijacking the Brain • The Amygdala and the Thalamus allow for emotional hijacking – Sensory eye or ear signals firt in brain to thalamus – Then they travel across a single synapse to the amaygdala – Then a second signal from the thalamus is routed to the neocortex-the thinking brain – This branching allows the amygdala to respond first – The amygdala receives direct impulse from the senses and respond befor the neocortex has been informed – This is why emotions often overpower rational thought

Emotionally hijacked • Once a decision is made you validate your position- – The gift is we adapt – The challenge is that we mal-adapt • Remember the truth is a matter of perception – Remember communication is the hardest thing we do as humans

The heart and brain are linked together in a coherent network of intelligence. • Involuntary brain—heart connections • Intelligent signals from the heart are messaged to the brain. Smooth signals create ‘cortical facilitation’; jagged signals create cortical ‘inhibitors’ • Emotional intelligence is affected

Three Brains in One • Levels Of Control High brain: Cerebral Cortex Perception and differentiation of thoughts and emotions Discrimination of appropriate behavior Self Reflection Problem resolution Goal Satisfaction cortex Hindbrain: Frontal Lobe Limbic System Thalamus Cerebellumbalance Pons-bridges Medulla-breathing; blood circulation Hormone, temperature hunger, thirst Cerebellum Amygdala Mid brain: Emotions Territorial Fear Anger Attack Maternal Love Anxiety Medulla Hate Jealousy

The Emotional Nucleus • The outer ripples of emotions are moods – – – They are more muted They last longer than emotions They can be triggered • Beyond moods are temperaments – They are ready to evoke a given emotion or mood that makes people melancholy, timid or cheery • Beyond temperaments are disorders – Disorders cause people to be trapped in a toxic state

Be Aware… • Everyone has emotional triggers • Things we learned while young become anchors • Young children have larger amygdala’s because the cerebral cortext is not finished developing until mid to late twenties

Be Aware… • We spend much of our time managing mood to • • • prevent more intense upsets Although we may not know when we will be swept with emotion… we can limit how long it lasts Adrenal Cortical Arousal is an amygdala driven state of action readiness which lasts for hours or days and keeps one on the danger alert (Created by Stress) When the body is already on the edge, it can be escalated easily due to emotional triggers or any sequence of “perceived” provocation

Be Aware… • Cortisol and adrenalin in the system too long kills us prematurely • Understand body language • Don’t focus on behavior; manage toward an outcome

Addressing Anxiety and Worry • The worrying mind spins like an unending top • • wrapped in drama Know the difference between worry and constructive reflection Chronic worry is low grade emotional hijacking Generalized anxiety disorder is the DSM IV name for constant worry Anxiety comes in two forms: cognitive or worry some thoughts and somatic or the physiological symptoms (sweating, racing heart etc…)

Balance Not Emotional Suppression • Muted emotions create dullness and a loss of creativity • Out of control emotions are too extreme and persistent and become pathological • Experience emotions but do not become the victim of them • Experience emotions: identify outcome; don’t become reactive

In emotional crisis • The brain fluctuates from different levels within the brain like an out of control roller coaster ride • Determine the developmental stage based on the emotional response and respond accordingly • Most addictions are self medications

Emotional Intelligence Simply • “Good old Street Smarts, ” knowing when to • • share sensitive information with colleagues, laugh at your husbands jokes, or speak up in a meeting It is knowing someone else is not doing well and keeping that “straight talk” for another time It is learned by practicing skills and noticing results

Emotional Intelligence “Emotional Intelligence is the capacity for recognizing our own feelings, and those of others, for motivating ourselves. And for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships” Dan Goleman, 1998

What Does High EI Demonstrate? • The ability to build people up, bring them • • • together and motivate them to do their best. The trust to build productive relationships. The resilience to perform under pressure. The courage to make decisions. The strength to persevere through adversity The vision to create the future.

What makes learning efficient • Doing things over and over again causes us to be • • efficient. Efficient learning happens so that we can use repeated behavior without thinking. We learn habits, strategies, reactions, skills this way, whether behaviors we learn are useful or not. When learning is repeated, the brain creates a neurological pathway so the behavior is more efficient. The brain does not ask if we want the pathway, it just builds it.

When What we Learned No Longer Works • Awareness of patterns that are no longer useful • is the first step in change. We must be aware of precognitive emotional cues and when to intervene. • Overcoming fear of change requires us to create • new behaviors New behaviors require practice so the brain can create new pathways of learning.

Slow to act… • Human beings are often not aware of their own patterns– become self aware • When we become emotionally triggered—it is our perception • Un-coachable: a person whose paradigm says that their world totally works; they will not change because they have no ability to recognize their own patterns

Paradox • We realize we need a new behavior, yet recognize that • • • change is hard an we do not know how to go about what is necessary to create a new behavior. We stay with what we know, because it is familiar, learned, and has instant access. Although we begin to demonstrate new behavior that we want, we are easily triggered to go back to the “previously learned ways” because the pathway is deeper. Being emotionally triggered to old patterns, reaffirms the existing neural circuitry and makes it even harder to stabilize new pathways

The Perception Process • Person’s beliefs determine their selection of • • perceptions Those beliefs determine their thought process. Those thought processes and perceptions cause them to validate their beliefs. Therefore, people remember and refer to what is useful to validate their beliefs Person’s thoughts and perceptions support their beliefs until there is a reason to acquire new beliefs.

Stress is in the perception, not the event

Stress and the body • Stress may be defined as the emotion that • results from a desire to terminate, escape from or avoid a real or imagined, current or imminent, negatively reinforcing event. Body’s Response: Freeze, Fight , Flee – Dialation of pupils; constriction of arteries, activation of adrenal gland to pump cortisol, enlargement of the vessels to the heart, Metabolism of fat, constriction of vessels to the skin, kidneys, digestive tract

When stress doesn’t subside • Immune system is impaired – Susceptible to colds, flu, back aches, tight chest, migraine headaches, tension headaches, allergy outbreaks – Chronic or life-threatening illness: hypertension, addictions, asthma, infertility, colon or bowel disorders, diabetes, kidney disease, mental illness, heart disease, stroke, cancer and suicide.

Prolonged Stress • Produces high levels of cortisol • Hippocampus shrinks as a result • Production of new neurons is impaired • Memory, mood, and other mental functions are affected

Much of our stress is unseen to us Because of the human capacity for adaptation. We adapt, ignoring the cues our emotions and body give to us.

EQ Competencies • Self Aware • Self Regulation • Self-Motivation • Empathy • Effective Relationships

Self Awareness Techniques • Realize emotions are important and that awareness of your own emotional states is foundation of EQ mastery • Learn to tune in to your emotional state and responses to stressful situations • Practice expressing your feelings accurately to others, in a non-emotional state to develop interpersonal skills

Self-regulation techniques • Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional responses. • Reframe situations from being stressful to being challenging. • Be aware of and learn to manage your own triggers.

Self motivation Techniques • Avoid self-defeating thoughts; instead focus on what you want to believe and want to happen, not how you feel. • Recognize that emotions affect your performance and thinking

Empathy Techniques • Recognize and respond appropriately to the • • emotions of others Express empathy for others and help create empathy in them Learn to see things from another person’s perspective Instead of being “right” be curious. Often we act as if something is true – High Quality Information – Low Quality Information

Building Relationships As children of God, our reaction and response to the world is profoundly different. Our guiding principles call for us to be profoundly different in dealing with people regardless of their emotional state.

We always have a cheerleader: If I am for you, who can be against you? In all things, you are much more a victorious conqueror through me. Nothing can stop me from loving you- not death or life, angels or demons, current circumstances or anything in the future. Know that nothing and no one in the entire world can separate you from my totally awesome and indescribable love. Romans 8: 31 -39

And because God Loves Us: • For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. John 3: 16

And So Our Call Is Different • We are to LOVE ONE ANOTHER – Not simply those people we agree with, respect and like – God wants us to forgive – God wants us to walk with the down trodden – God wants us to invite all into his fold – WE ARE Called to Serve others

Questions For Prayer Circles • Who are we called to • What is God’s challenge • • • serve? What is Servant Leadership? What does Service to God look like? How do we love difficult children, parents, coworkers? How do we forgive? How do we love our enemies? • • • to you? What is your prayer for AHP? What do we mean by the gifts of God are free? What about grace? How does it define who we are? How do we stay connected to God?

Reflections and prayers