Looking OutLooking In Eleventh Edition Chapter Five Language

Looking Out/Looking In Eleventh Edition Chapter Five: Language: Barrier and Bridge Ronald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor II, and Neil Towne

Language • This chapter studies • language & how it affects the climate of our interpersonal relationships. Language is a marvelous tool for communication, but sometimes we experience frustrations with it – so many that we might wonder if any of us really speak the same language!

Language Is Symbolic § Signs Have Direct Connection to What • • They Represent. If you were to say “Jennifer” in front of her dog, he might take that as a sign that she is coming and look for her eagerly. If I mentioned “Jennifer” to one of you, however, you would likely reply, “What about Jennifer? ” We would be using the word “Jennifer” as a symbol: as a sound that stands for that person so that we could discuss Jennifer in her absence. A symbol is something that stands for something else: in language, sounds stand for objects, people, ideas.

Language is Symbolic • Usually the sounds we use in • • language have only an arbitrary connection with the things they stand for: that is, the word “table” stands for a certain object because someone decided it should be so. Your text points out that there is nothing especially “fivelike” about the number five. We could use a made-up word, such as “quirsh, ” and it would serve just as well as long as we agreed on what it meant.

Language is Symbolic • • The one exception to this • arbitrariness is what is called • “onomatopoeia. ” • • These are words that were • coined to imitate certain sounds in nature. • • Can you think of some • examples of words that • imitate sounds? • • Splash Crackle Pop Bang Buzz Boom Hiccup Ping pong Ding dong Baaaa Bow wow Crash

Culture and Onomatopoeia

Language is Rule-Governed: Semantic Rules • Semantic Rules are the area of language in which we decide that “bread” is something for eating and “football” is something for tossing. But misunderstandings can arise because people can assign different meanings to the same word. • • Slang Frazz Comic Strip Pickles Comic Strip Baby Blues Comic Strip

Language is Rule-Governed: Semantic Rules • Semantic rules reflect the way • • • we assign a particular meaning to a particular word. Your text points out that this is how we know which door to use when we see signs that say “Men” or “Women. ” But what about the doors you see on the left? Which one says “women? ” And what if you were in a steak restaurant and the restroom doors were labeled “Heifers” and “Steers? ”

Understanding Words: Semantic Rules • Difficulties can also arise • • because in different parts of the country, we might assign different terms to the same object or idea. For instance, what would you call the object on the left? This is what Bill Bryson, who wrote The Mother Tongue, has to say about how we differ from one region of the country to the next.

Understanding Structure Syntactic Rules • Syntax has to do with the way • • words are arranged in sentences, with how language is structured. In English, for instance, adjectives are usually placed before the nouns they modify (the “white house, ” the “blonde girl”). But where adjectives usually placed in French? In English, we say, “I love you. ” How is this sentence phrased in French? In Spanish? In Italian?

Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules • From James Kilpatrick’s column: what’s wrong with the sentence structure? • From the Tyler Telegraph (Texas): “One driver died. The other was transported to East Texas Medical Center by a private vehicle with bruises. ” • Kilpatrick: The bruises were chiefly on the right front fender. • From the Associated Press: “A clean-shaven Robert Downey walked into the court wearing an orange jail jump suit with slicked back hair. ” • Kirlpatrick: That suit needed a quick trim around the ears.

Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules • The Wichita Eagle, about People magazine running a cover story on • Chelsea Clinton: “The publisher chose to run the story despite personal appeals with respect to her privacy and her security from her parents. ” Kilpatrick: Hang in there, Chelsea! • A letter to the editor in the Greenville News (S. C. ); the writer is upset • that the new Miss South Carolina claims she won because God answered her prayers. “The Miss South Carolina makes prayer trivial when she claims God answered her prayers by becoming Miss South Carolina. ” Kilpatrick: God comes in many guises, so why not as a pretty girl? • How do you avoid these errors? Kilpatrick: Read your copy! And yet again, read it one more time!

Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules • From the Seattle Times, a • • human interest story about a pet turtle falling off a deck and getting lost: “Prone to disappearing under couches or bookcases for days at a time, the Wilsons at first did notice that their turtle was missing. ” What is wrong with the structure of that sentence?

Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules • From a dyadic encounter paper: • “We talked roughly for about twenty minutes. ” • How could this statement be interpreted? What did the writer mean by it? How could the sentence be restructured?

Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules • Classified ad from a • • • newspaper in Springfield, Missouri: AGED COUPLE, lost, between Springfield and Cabool, bedding and clothing, 555 -1323. What does this mean? How should it be rephrased?

Understanding Context: Pragmatic Rules • Pragmatic Rules are unstated and rely entirely upon the • • • situation. They help us to interpret the meaning of a statement in a given context. What does the sentence “I’d like to get to know you better” mean if it is said by: Your classmate of the same sex that you usually chat with before class. A classmate of the opposite sex that you’ve been flirting with before class. Your girlfriend or boyfriend after you’ve been out together three or four times. A visitor from another country addressing a large auditorium of people.

Understanding Context: Pragmatic Rules • In this scene from the musical Hairspray, do you see any political comment being made? Some audience members in Seattle did when it played here in 2004.

Uses & Abuses of Language: Precision & Vagueness • Equivocal or Ambiguous Language: • This can cause misunderstandings • because some phrases could have more than one meaning and some words have more than one commonly accepted definition. 4 th Grade teacher: “What is a period? ”

Uses & Abuses of Language: Relative Words • Relative Language: relative words gain their meanings by comparison. • I graduated from a small high school. What does “small” in that context mean to you? How small is a “small” class of high school seniors? • If you want a “small” piece of pie, what is your idea of “small? ” It might not be the way the person who cuts the piece sees “small. ” • I tell someone that Washington in August is “warm. ” They bring sandals, shorts, and halter tops. Was this a good idea? How warm is Washington in August compared to Kansas in August?

Uses & Abuses of Language: Relative Words • Did you ever have anyone arrange a date for you, describing the person as “attractive” or “gorgeous” and you discovered their idea of attractive was very different from yours? • Imagine getting married based on someone else’s desription. • King Henry VIII of England married his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, based on testimony like this. He could not go to France or Italy and court the ladies himself (that would be undignified, especially if he were turned down). He had his, Hans Holbein, travel the European courts and paint portraits of suitable princesses. • He also asked people he trusted to meet the ladies and describe them to him.

Uses & Abuses: Relative Words • The Earl of Southamption praised Anne for her “excellent beauty” and manners. • Another courtier told Henry that Anne “excelleth her sister in beauty as the golden sun excelleth the silver moon. ” • The marriage was agreed upon and Anne traveled to England, but the first meeting between the king and future queen was disastrous. • Henry complained later, “I see no such thing as has been shown me of her by pictures or report. I am ashamed that men have praised her as they have done. I like her not!”

Uses & Abuses: Static Evaluation • Static Evaluation can also cause • • misunderstandings. This arises when we make statements that imply people are consistent and unchanging. “Mark is a boring guy. ” “Susan is short-tempered. ” Is each statement always true about each person? Your text advises subscripting to make it clear when this behavior happens: “Mark can be boring when he goes on and on about computers. ” “Susan is short-tempered when she’s working in a group and other people aren’t pulling their weight. ”

Uses & Abuses: Abstract Language • Abstractions are generalized statements, • • • often employed as a useful verbal shorthand. Abstract Language is also rather vague. Sometimes abstract language might be acceptable: a tutor might write in her lesson summary, “Eric worked very independently today. ” If the parents want something more specific, however, the teacher might change this to more specific behavioral language, referring to specific tasks the student performed: “Eric wrote an essay without being prompted to do it; he proofread it carefully and found and corrected four errors by himself. ” Could this statement be even more specific? How?

Uses & Abuses: Abstract Language • Which of the following is • • • the most abstract? Which is the least abstract? Woman Creature U. S. senator Human being American Patty Murray

Abstraction Ladder Notice how the statements get more and more specific as you descend the rungs of the ladder. Would you have understood the top comment if you were the employee? This is why overly abstract language can cause problems in communication.

Question: Which of the following is the highest-level abstraction? a. You don’t care about me. b. You don’t show up when you say you will. c. You never show up on time. d. You told me you’d come over at 8 p. m. last night and you didn’t.

Uses & Abuses: Euphemisms • Defined as “innocuous • “He was fired. ” • terms substituted for blunt ones. ” What euphemisms do we often use in place of statements like these? • • • “She’s dead. ” “That’s a graveyard. ” “We have lots of coffins for you to choose from. ” “I’m dumping You. ” “Both of us are different people now and we have different needs, so it’s time for a change. ”

The Impact of Language Naming and Identity • “What’s in a name? ” Research has shown that they can shape the way others think of us, the way we view ourselves, even the way we behave. • Different names have different connotations: we see some names as more attractive, more masculine, more feminine, more professional, more likable than others. • Names are an important part of our identity and often reflect the culture in which we were brought up.

Naming and Identity • Studies indicate that more widely accepted names are usually rated as possessing more positive qualities. • On the other hand, unique names can be hard to pronounce and sometimes people who don’t respond well to the new and unusual respond negatively to people solely on the basis of the name. • Even those who have unusual names themselves warn against giving children names that will lead to teasing on the playground.

Naming and identity • What kind of person is she? • • • Would we make any assumptions (without, perhaps, being aware of them!) based on her name? Hannah Heather Annabel Lolita Jane Guinevere Harriet Arwen Winifred Cordelia

Naming and Identity • How old are these people? • Violet, Flossie, Edna, Mabel, Pearl • Hiram, Elmer, Clyde, Fergus • Mary, Cathy, Judy, Cindy, Barbara, Susan, Linda, Ruby • Bill, Bob, Ralph, Fred, Charles, Larry • Madison, Caitlin, Amber, Brittany, Nichole • Michael, Tristan, Carter, Jordan, Hunter, Clay, Bailey • Some names are perceived as more attractive and acceptable than others, but the perception of names changes over time; • Names that seemed strong, appealing, and suitably masculine or feminine one hundred years ago might not sound right to us at all today. • This is why sometimes we can guess at a person’s age when we hear their names.

Naming and Identity • Social Security website: what have been the 20 most popular names for children over the past 125 years? • How many of you have changed your first names or tinkered with them in some way? Why were you dissatisfied with your name? How did it improve your sense of your identity to change it?

Naming and Identity

Naming and Identity • What do you call the fruit you see on the left? • These are prunes. However, the California Prune Board wants to change the name: they don’t think the word “prune” is appealing enough to women in their 30 s and 40 s. What else could you call them? • “Dried Plums” is the name they suggest.

Naming and Identity A food product called “filberts” didn’t sell very well. Neither did a product called “Chinese gooseberries. ” Then each received a new name and each became very popular. What were their new names?

Naming and Identity • I used to buy bubble bath and body lotion at a shop where the fragrances were based on flowers (“Moonlight Violet”) or fruit (“Strawberry”) or food flavorings (“Vanilla Dream”). • Then the shop was remodeled (crystal chandeliers, red carpets) and the fragrances, which were probably exactly the same, were given names like “Candlelight Orgy. ” • I don’t go into that store anymore.

The Impact of Language: Affiliation • Speech can build and • • demonstrate solidarity with others. Communicators who want to show affiliation with each other might adapt their speech, including their choice of vocabulary, rate of talking, number of pauses, and level of politeness. If you want to fit in after moving to a new neighborhood or starting a new job, you might find yourself reflecting the speech habits of others with whom you want to associate.

Affiliation • Notice that in this “Sally Forth” strip, Faye does not at first get a response. Then she decides to adjust her language to the age, culture, and expectations of the person she is addressing.

Affiliation • Communication theorists call the process of adapting one’s speech style to match that of others convergence. • Communicators who want to set themselves apart from others adopt the strategy of divergence, speaking in way that emphasizes their differences from others.

The Impact of Language: Powerless Speech Mannerisms can make a person sound less competent, dynamic, or attractive.

What’s wrong with these approaches? • I’d kinda like it if you would sorta think about marrying me. It seems like I love you. • Um, would you, oh, well, ever think about, you know, marrying me? • I think we should get married! -- shouldn’t we? • You’re probably going to say no, but I was wondering if you’d marry me. • Excuse me, I really hate to bother you, but if it’s not too much trouble, could you think about marrying me?

The Impact of Language: Power • On the other hand, if your language is too powerful for the situation, it may not produce the result that you want. Which of these statements would work better most of the time? • Excuse me, but my baby is having a little trouble getting to sleep. Could you please turn your music down a little? • My baby can’t get to sleep because of your racket, so turn that garbage down right now!

The Impact of Language Disruptive Language • Fact-Opinion Confusion

The Impact of Language Disruptive Language • Fact-Opinion Confusion • Fact-Inference Confusion

The Impact of Language Disruptive Language • Fact-Opinion Confusion • Fact-Inference Confusion • Emotive Language

Question: Cooper spent $1, 500 on surgery for his dog. He felt hurt and a little defensive when his best friend, Colleen, told him, “That was a waste of money!” Colleen’s comment best relates to: a. equivocal language b. fact-opinion confusion c. the female conversational style d. none of the above

The Impact of Language The Language of Responsibility • “It” Statements replace the personal pronoun “I” with “it. ” When we use “it, ” we avoid responsibility for the message we are sending; it is an unconscious way to avoid taking a position.

The Impact of Language The Language of Responsibility • “It” Statements • “But” Statements

The Impact of Language The Language of Responsibility • “It” Statements • “But” Statements • Questions

“You” Statements • “You” language expresses a • • judgment of the other person: “You are a sloppy, inconsiderate kid!” The “You” statement doesn’t even have to include the word “You”: “These kids are completely out of control!” (You are a terrible mother. ) “This house sure is a pig sty!” (You are a terrible housekeeper. )

“You” Statements • “You” statements are likely to get the other person defensive and start a fight – even if the criticism was justified.

“I” Statements • Describe the other • • person’s behavior (objectively) Say why you think the other person is doing this (interpretation) Communicate your feelings Explain the consequences that the other person’s behavior has for you “You” statement: “You are a sloppy, inconsiderate Kid!” • “When you come home and leave dirty dishes in the kitchen and your clothes strewn all over the living room, I feel frustrated and upset; I know you just want to relax after studying at school all day, but I’m tired after working all day and now I have to pick up after you. ”