Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships Principles of Healthy Dating

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Principles of Healthy Dating Must accept and feel good about ourselves Communication Honesty and Openness Respect

Unhealthy Relationships Poor or inappropriate communication Lack of respect Makes one feel less and have lower selfesteem Possessiveness Violence or seeking control Fear Shallow, lacks openness Opposite lifestyles Lack commitment, care, trust, interest

Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships Extreme jealousy – Do Not mistake this with love Controlling behavior – Do Not let someone tell you what/what not to wear, whom to talk to and where to go Unrealistic expectations – “If you love me, then you will ____” Isolation – Do Not let them keep you from going out

Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships Blames you for their problems and feelings Hypersensitivity – blows things out of proportion Verbal Abuse Rigid Sex Roles Threats of violence Breaking or striking an argument Any force during an argument

Skills for Avoiding Sexual Risk Taking Saying “No” to Pressures to Have Sex

What is Sexual Abstinence? Voluntarily refraining from intimate sexual behavior which could lead to unintended pregnancy or disease Includes oral, anal, or vaginal sex

e h “T s i e r u t u F ”. W O N

Why is this skill needed for abstinence? Goal Setting Having goals for the future is a protective factor against risk -taking behaviors. What future goals would be disrupted by an unintended pregnancy or incurable STD?

Why be abstinent? Personal Reasons: Not ready/too young Could disrupt future plans and dreams Waiting till marriage Want to protect reputation Might have serious regrets

Why be abstinent? Health Reasons: To avoid unintended pregnancy To avoid a sexually transmitted disease To avoid cervical cancer (females) To avoid stress and lower self-esteem Some consequences are life-altering (such as an STD which cannot be cured or an unintended pregnancy).

Why be abstinent? Relationships Reasons: Don’t want to hurt or be hurt Don’t want to disappoint parents Want to build a friendship Want to have trust and commitment in the relationship To practice skills needed for fidelity in marriage

What strategies are helpful? Avoid “risky” situations: Avoid alcohol and drugs Avoid places and situations which could lead to sex Plan to be with others or supervised by adults

What strategies are helpful? Communicate effectively: Set personal limits and express those to the other person Be confident in the decision Say “no” firmly Be consistent with body language

What strategies are helpful? Try to maintain the friendship UNLESS the person appears to disrespect your wishes by: Continuing to pressure you Trying to force you Encouraging you to use alcohol or drugs

What strategies are helpful? Have a Plan “B”: If someone continues to pressure you beyond your personal limits, what will you do? Hmmm. . . What should I do?

Who supports your decision to be abstinent? Parent(s), guardian(s) Peers who respect your values Teachers, counselors, nurses Faith leaders Youth leaders Extended family