Day 12 Habit 4 Habit 4 Think WinWin

Day 12: Habit 4

Habit #4: Think Win-Win! - “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. ” - C. S. Lewis, Author

Think Win-Win! ctd. So far, we have learned about, �behaving in a manner that tries to influence situations to end as well as possible �making clear goals to guide our decision making �arranging things in order of importance, focusing on the most important first.

Think Win-Win! ctd. As you maneuver the school year, you will have many interactions that will may impact (positively or negatively) your progress towards your goal. Your mindset towards those interactions will be important to how much you can use them to maintain your momentum. Think about being proactive. As you try to act and make sure that any situation turns out for the best, keep in mind that it applies to everyone involved. This is what it means to think win-win. Winners and losers are only absolute in sports.

Think Win-Win! ctd. Let’s take a look at the four general mindsets that deal with how people approach interactions and relationships with other people. As we discuss the different ones, label the interaction and write a two or three sentences about what you think that kind of interaction looks like on your own paper.

Win-Lose: The Totem Pole Attitude �Use other people emotionally or physically for your own purposes. �Get ahead at the expense of others. �Concentrate on getting their own way. �Don’t consider anyone else’s feelings. �Become jealous or envious when good things happen to someone else.

Lose-Win: The Doormat �Set low expectations for yourself. �Low self-esteem. Never consider themselves worthy enough. �Compromise standards. �Give in to peer pressure. �Fool themselves into thinking they are a “peacemaker. ”

Lose-Lose: The Downward Spiral �Seek Revenge �Desire to win at all costs. �Obsessed with others in a negative manner. �Codependent in a damaging relationship. �Hurting yourself. �Much easier. But better? �“If I’m going down, then you’re going down with me. ”

Win-Win: The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet �Are happy when others succeed. �Help others succeed. �Think “abundance. ” �Are willing to share recognition with others. �It’s all about how you feel.

How do you do it? Win the private victory first. Take responsibility, set your goals and put a plan in place. The confidence will come. Competition is okay and healthy. It pushes you, stretches you and improves you. Just don’t let it consume you. Don’t compare yourself to others. We are all different. We will never grow if we keep checking and comparing ourselves to others. Don’t get caught up in trying to be popular in high school; most of life comes after it and popularity doesn’t matter or count for anything there. Being win-win is contagious. You will draw more friends. You will feel better and so will everyone around you. Start small and work your way up. You can’t always have win-win. If that’s the case then it’s a NO DEAL. Whether it’s relationships, an argument, or something trivial like what to do with a friend that night; if you can’t agree, don’t settle and walk away.

Think Win-Win! Reflection Write a three to five sentence response that discusses what the following quote means: �Someone doesn’t have to lose theirs in order for you to get yours.

Day 13: Habit 5

Habit #5 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

“Before I can walk in another’s shoes, I must first remove my own. ” �It’s our tendency to want to be like superheroes and solve everyone’s problems. �Unfortunately, we don’t always understand the problem or take the time to listen to be able to understand. �This habit is the key to having power and influence with people. �In other words, listen first, speak second. �This habit is the key to communication because the deepest need of the human heart is to be understood. Everyone wants to be respected and valued for who they are.

5 Poor Listening Skills � #1: Spacing Out Someone is talking to you but you ignore them because your mind is wandering. � #2: Pretending to Listening More common. You’re still not listening, but you’re pretending by nodding or making comments at key points. � #3: Selective Listening You only pay attention to the part that interests you. For example, your friend is telling you he feels overshadowed by his brother in the army, and all you hear is army, and start talking about that. � #4: Only Word Listening You pay attention to the words, but you are missing the body language, feelings, or true meanings behind the words. � #5: Self-Centered Listening You see everything from your own point of view. This involves phrases like “Oh I know exactly how you feel, ” and “You think your day was bad? Here’s what happened to me!”

Genuine Listening �#1: Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. Only 7% of communication is heard. 53% comes from our body language 40% comes from the tone and feeling in our voice Listen to what someone isn’t saying. �#2: Stand in their Shoes Don’t try to “win” a conversation. You both have valid Points of view. Think about what the other person is experiencing. �#3: Practice Mirroring Don’t judge. Don’t give advice. Just reflect. Repeat back in your own words what someone else is saying and feeling. Examples: “As I understand, you feel…” “So, as I see it…” “I can see that you’re feeling…” “ “You feel that…” “So, what you’re saying is…”

Seek to be Understood �There was a survey done where Death came as the second fear… AFTER Public Speaking. �Seeking to understand requires consideration, but seeking to be understood requires courage. �Practicing only half of this habit is a Lose-Win situation. But it’s an easy trap to fall into. “I’m not going to tell my parents because she won’t listen or understand. ” �We keep those feelings inside and they grow. Unexpressed feelings never die.

Seek to be Understood �Giving feedback is important. �Be honest. But make sure the feedback will help them. �Make sure you are saying “I feel/I’m concerned/I think” instead of “you. ”

Reflection Write a three to five sentence response to the following prompt: �Be honest, do you always seek first to understand then be understood?

Day 14: Habits 6/7

“Greetings. I am pleased to see that we are different. May we together become greater than the sum of both of us. ” “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. ” - Mr. Spock - Henry Ford “Five guys on the court working together can achieve more than five talented individuals who come and go as individuals. ” - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Habit # 6: “ALONE WE CAN DO SO LITTLE; TOGETHER WE CAN DO SO MUCH. ” - HELEN KELLER

Synergy Is: Synergy Is Not: Celebrating Differences Tolerating Differences Teamwork Working Independently Open-Mindedness Thinking you’re always right Finding new and better ways Compromise An example of synergy in nature is the flying V formation that geese make. - By flying in formation, the whole flock can fly 71% father than they could alone. They create updrafts for each other. - As the lead goose gets tired, he will rotate to the back and allow another to take the lead. - The geese in the back honk to encourage those in the front. - Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it immediately feels the resistance of trying to fly alone and quickly gets back in formation. - Finally, when one of the geese gets wounded or sick and falls, two other geese with follow it down to help and protect it. They will stay with it until it gets better or dies and then will join a new formation or create their own to catch up.

Synergy is Everywhere �Synergy is all about celebrating our differences. �You should never Shun or just Tolerate Diversity. Celebrate it in every way possible! �We learn differently, see differently, look different, talk different; we have different styles, traits and characteristics.

Roadblocks �It doesn’t just happen, it’s a process. �Ignorance: Clueless. You don’t know what other people believe, how they feel, or what they’ve been through. �Cliques: It’s hard to value differences when you all have to be alike to be in the same group. You make those around you feel like second-class citizens. You lose your own individual identity. �Prejudice: You get stereotyped, labeled or even pre-judged. These are learned behaviors.

Create an Action Plan for Synergy Getting to Synergy ACTION PLAN Define the problem or Opportunity Listen to Their Way (Seek first to understand the ideas of others) Share My Way (Seek to be understood by sharing your ideas) Brainstorm (Create new options and ideas) High Way (Find the best solution that combines everyone’s input)

Synergy is… �Working Together �Celebrating Differences �Using everyone’s strengths to create something bigger and better �Getting you farther in life

Habit #7 SHARPEN THE SAW

Habit #7 � This last habit was designed to help you deal with problems like feeling imbalanced, stressed out, or empty inside. � Sharpening the saw refers to keeping your personal self sharp to deal with life. � There are 4 key dimensions to regularly renew and strengthen are: Body- Physical Brain- Mental Exercise, eat healthy, sleep well, relax Read, educate, write, learn new skills Heart- Emotional Soul- Spiritual Build relationships, give service, laugh Meditate, keep a journal, pray, take in quality media

Reflection Write a three to five sentence response to the following prompt: �Which of these do you think you’ll use the most when sharpening your saw?

Day 15: Put it all together

Put it all together Today is simple. You will answer some questions that will help you set a long-term goal for the upcoming school year. These questions will also help you establish the goal’s importance and some habits that will help you in achieving that goal.

Put it all together, ctd Answer the following questions with two or three complete sentences on your own paper. You do not have to write the question. What is an academic goal you’d like to accomplish this school year? (think passing a difficult class, maintaining a certain GPA, getting straight A’s, etc. ) What will you have to do to help yourself achieve your goal? What will you have to avoid to help yourself achieve your goal? Who are some other people who can help you with your goal? How can those people help? How will you track your progress towards your goal?