PERSON TO PERSON Gizelle of the Tulloch family

PERSON TO PERSON Gizelle: of the Tulloch family

Person to Person One of the five relationship models • We have been looking at Petruska Clarkson’s five therapeutic relationship models. So far we have looked at The Working Alliance, Transference and Countertransference, The Developmentally needed/Reparenting relationship and today I will be presenting the Person to Person relationship.

Person to Person is also known as: • The “Real” therapeutic relationship • I-You or I-Thou relationship (not I-It) Buber • Core conditions - Empathy, Congruence UPR - Rogers

Person to Person Definition • The Person to Person relationship is the dialogic relationship. It concerns the authentic humanness shared by client and therapist. (Clarkson) • Profound healing force which was deeply significant and unavoidable (Freud) • The foundation of building the interpersonal alliance between two people (Rogers) • The human to human relationship which is genuine, real and also the underlying foundation of all the five facets (Gizelle)

The Relationship • Important beginning with non-verbal communication • Counselling and Psychotherapy relies on building a human connection with clients where a deep level of trust is established • Research has shown that it is significant for the client to experience the person to person relationship whatever modality therapist is trained to use

The Relationship • The core or a real emotional connection • Mutual participation in the process where each is changed by the other • The real person within therapist is not totally excluded from the effect/influence of the conditions of therapy • When you find the person behind each others defences - Guntrip • A genuine experience of relationship centred around the hear and now - Fairbairn

Establishing Relationship • Poor relationship from the start will have repercussions for the rest of the relationship • Appropriate expectations • Organismic need to repair wounds from the past to enhance future growth, development and resilience. • Psychotherapists sense of authentic self based on past experiences and feedback • Luck element

Self-disclosure • Book: Client doesn’t know left from right. Therapist shows client scar on leg which they used as child to help them decide which side was left or right • Therapist judged it to be appropriate and timely to trust the client with a sense of shared personhood and became siblings in discovery • The moment was unforgettable, bonding person to person

Self-disclosure (con’t) • I thought it was inappropriate (Supervision) • Can display hostility or seductiveness • Therapist could have found another way to self-disclose (use hand they writes with to help them remember. ) • Requires skills, knowledge and the greatest care as the potential for careless and destructive use is great.

Self-disclosure (con’t) • Some clients initiate self-dislosure which could mean they are cut off from their own needs • Greater self-disclosure is possible as the psychotherapy proceeds

Management • Client may consider therapist as a friend • Client 1 - Final session passing time in session to say ‘bye’ • Client 2 – Final session ending in developmentally needed stage which may happen outside therapy room

Management (con’t) • Separate whilst still in therapy, leave therapy in order to separate (could happen years later) or may separate with next therapeutic relationship • eg. Client wept when they realised therapist was another human being - Could be experienced as a loss

Difficulties • To write about subtle levels of person to person relationship • Not easy to find examples of the subtle exchanges which makes it difficult to teach • Lack of training where person to person is concerned • Expectation with idea that we know what it is all about

Bibliography • www. lifeforce-centre. co. uk • www. counselling tutor. com • Clarkson, P. 2003. Therapeutic Relationship. Second Edition. Whurr Publishers. London: England.