Listening Skills Attending Skills u What are attending

Listening Skills

Attending Skills u What are attending skills? – Body language – Asking questions – Avoid making noises – Occasionally respond (head nod, mmmhumm, OK, etc) – Pay attention to the speakers body language

u You are not using attending skills if you interrupt or finish sentences for the speaker.

At your table discuss u Write down an example of a time (or times) when you have felt that the person you were talking to wasn’t listening. How did that make you feel? u How did you know they weren’t listening?

Reflective Skills u What are reflective skills? – Checking with the speaker to see if you understand what he/she is saying. – Summarize what the person who is speaking just said to you. –

Examples of Reflective Listening: u ”If I understand you correctly, you are saying that…” u “Sounds you” like things didn’t go well for

Understanding the heart of what the speaker is saying: u To use the reflective skills to understand the behavior of the speaker, you can suggest your own interpretation of the behaviors. u Ex: pay attention to body language, and comment on it.

u For example: your client is glancing at the clock a lot. You might ask “I notice that you keep looking at the clock. Is there somewhere that you need to be?

Body Language Assessment: u Why would someone be moving their body around a lot during conversation? u Why would someone have a hard time maintaining eye contact? u Why would someone talk softly about a particular topic? u Why would someone stop talking altogether?

Introspect u In order to be able to reflect back what the person is saying, you can put yourself in the speakers position, and ask yourself “how would I feel in her/her place? ”

Ask Questions for Clarification u If the speaker seems confused you could ask: – “You look puzzled. Can I clear up some confusion? ” – So basically, you are feeling uncertain of your plans?

Paying Attention u To listen to a speaker with your full attention, you must listen to the words and pay attention to the behavior, body language, emotion, or feelings of the speaker.

Incongruence u What do you do when the feelings, body language or voice expressions do not match the verbal message, this is called incongruence.

u Reflective listening is an important skill because it helps the listener decipher unclear messages. u As the listener, you have to decide when reflective listening is appropriate and when it is not.

Listening Obstacles u What are some obstacles that can interfere with listening reflectively? – Listeners judgmental thoughts – Judgmental responses

u Examples of listening Obstacles: – Having to be right – Dismissing the speakers needs – Giving advice – Discounting emotions or thoughts – Comparing unfavorably

Clarifying Questions: u What are clarifying questions? – Questions asked to gain further insight. What clarification questions might you need to ask in response to the following: Your teacher says to you “Bring those papers on psychological research statistics to my classroom Tuesday”

Ways to improve your listening skills u Review the worksheet and discuss at your table the areas you need to improve on.