Communication Opposites attract Isnt it strange the way

Communication

Opposites attract Isn’t it strange the way we’re attracted to someone who is often so different than we are? Why is that? How are you different from your spouse? Talk about it. What are 3 big differences?

It’s a great blessing Our differences allow for greater strength in our marriages. Woodworking Talk - dovetailing to each other for a moment about the areas where your strengths dovetail together.

But………. Because we’re different, there can be some frustrations. Are there some places where our differences can be frustrating? Talk about one of them (but do it gently and remember the strengths in each).

The 4 Poisons Defensiveness Invalidation (fight or flight) (criticism, blame) Contempt Negative Interpretations

How are these healed? The A number one recipe is prayer. strong relationship with God through prayer is always the beginning to combatting these poisons in a marriage.

The 4 Antidotes Listening (Humility) Encouragement/Support Honor/Respect Assuming the Good

The Iceberg Communication can be like an iceberg. 10% above the surface – the problem 90% below the surface – the relationship Mend the relationship and the problem is easy to fix.

Speaker/Listener Technique Guidelines: 1. The speaker has the “floor. ” 2. The speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases. 3. Share the floor.

Speaker/Listener continued For the speaker: 1. Speak for yourself. Don’t mind read (Don’t guess). 2. Keep statements brief. Easier to paraphrase. 3. Stop and allow listener to paraphrase.

Speaker/Listener continued For the listener: 1. Focus quietly on speaker’s message. 2. Paraphrase what you hear. (Put it in your own words)

A Little Practice Choose a topic (non-volatile) to discuss using the Speaker/Listener technique. Please move your chairs so you have a little privacy. Practice the technique.

Problem Solving Now that the relationship is mended through real listening, it’s time to fix the problem. 1. Write down all of your ideas together without evaluation or criticism (brainstorming). 2. Agree and compromise. Find solutions together.