LEAP Life skills leadership limitless potential LEAP Supporting

LEAP Life skills, leadership, limitless potential (LEAP): Supporting children and young people affected by sexual violence in Europe by strengthening and facilitating participatory practice Ivet Pieper (Stichting Alexander - Netherlands) and Szilvia Gyurkó (Terre des Hommes Europe – Hungary)

When was the last time you spoke with a young person about sexuality?

Objectives of this webinar • Enhance realization that an enabling factor for participation is our ability to discuss sexuality with young people. • Enhance understanding how to discuss sexuality with young people. • Learn from young people. • Share good practices.

Enabling factor for participation is our ability to discuss sexuality with young people.

We asked LEAP’s youth advisory group for advice.

What do you think young people will say when asked what is important when discussing sexuality with young people?

Here’s what young people find important • • • Building a relationship Conversation Setting Specific questions Desired outcome

Building a relationship Don’t force me to talk. Don’t act as if you have more power. Don’t assume. Don’t put the blame on me. I need to trust the person. It’s important to be available, to build a connection. Be human! Share some of your own experiences. This makes me realize I’m not crazy.

Regarding conversation Tell me what you want to discuss, ask me what I need to feel comfortable in this conversation. Follow your own intuition, respect signals and boundaries. Don’t dig too deep with your questions, this will shut me up. The conversation should not be tense or uncomfortable. Don’t be too direct. If I duck too often, do confront/hold up a mirror/challenge.

Regarding the setting Take me for a walk. I’d prefer not to have to look the other straight in the eye. Let me do something creative, for example draw. In my space.

Regarding specific questions Don’t ask: Why did you do this? Why didn’t you just kick him out? No details. Do ask: Do you know what you like and what not? How do you deal with that? Did you ever go too far? How did you feel? Do you dare say no? How do you do that? Did something happen in the past (for which you haven’t had the courage to tell)? Can you tell me what happened? Do you feel like it’s your own fault, that you’re to blame?

Regarding the desired outcome Space, understanding, respect, support, interest. (steps towards) a solution Enhanced my understanding about the situation and what role I can play to change things. Clear explanation about the follow up (e. g. treatment possibilities).

Please write up one thing that surprised you.

Online sexual education and helpchat for children Szilvia Gyurko dr Hintalovon Foundation Yelon. hu

Who we are? • a foundation that focuses on children’s rights and wellbeing • Founded in 2015 by well-known Hungarian professionals • Our goals are: promoting the rights and wellbeing of everyone under the age of 18 through child participation, education and abuse prevention www. hintalovon. hu Facebook. hu/hintalovon

The concept Yelon. hu Online sexual education platforms (smart phone app / website) where teens can learn about sexuality = emotions, body image, self-image, relationships, love, sex

Child rights? Sexual education? Why? • Children have right to be informed about sexuality • Sexuality is a taboo in most families and schools • Parents feel uncomfortable when they are talking about ‘body’, ‘sex’, etc. • Teens try to find answers to their questions on the internet (and they usually find porn) • Porn may harm teens’ body image, self-image, the sexual development and culture and makes them vulnerable to be abused

How many children suffer from sexual violence in Europe?

Every 5 th children in Europe

Good sexual education is one of the most important “tool” to prevent sexual violence against children

Information needed For teens: - To learn more about their body, self, emotions, relationships, love and sex. Teens also want to consume explicit but safe sexual contents and they eagerly want to pose questions anonymously – and getting clear, correct, ageappropriate answers. For parents and other responsible adults: - To gain support how to talk with kids about these issues and how to behave, communicate and give support to the child in tricky situations

Help chat

Institutional background • Child rights approach • Child participation + parent participation • Our team: professional team of psychologists, body image educators, helpchat trainers, drama teachers, mediators • IT team • Volunteers

Child participation

What do you think, what are the most important sources for a teenager interesting in sexuality?

Online solutions pro/con • High internet penetration • Easy access • Anonymity • swift conversation • Familiar environment • limited personality (not face to face) • Multitasking • High rate of “knocking” conversations • Credibility? / building trust

Chat Volunteers • The selection process call / attitude and knowledge test child safeguarding policy / ethical code interview e-learning book e-learning exam 3 days training 20 hours supervised chat

Skills and knowledge building • E-learning: self-developed special knowledge (child rights, legal background, abuse, puberty, body development, protocolls) • 3 days Training: self-consciousness, chat skills, trauma, protocolls • Mentoring (during chat) • Supervision (group / individual, every 6 th week) • Case discussion (group, every 4 th week) • Training (4 times a year)

Risk assessment • Strict and long selection process (increase commitment + build skills step by step / select risky volunteers) • Continuous support (general + needs based) to prevent burn-out, improve skills, selfconfidence • Mentoring and supervision for the quality of the chat