Choices in Relationships Introduction to Marriage and Family

Choices in Relationships Introduction to Marriage and Family FCS 31

Choices in your relationships • Take a proactive approach of taking charge of your life. • right choices in relationships is critical for your health.

Facts about Choices in Relationships • Not To Decide Is To Decide – Not making a decision is a decision by default. • Ex. Not deciding to use birth control is deciding to have a child.

Facts about Choices in relationships • Some Choices Require Corrections – Once a choice is having consistent negative consequences, it is important to make new choices, and move forward. • Ex. Choosing a partner who was loving & kind but then turns out to be abusive & dangerous requires correcting that choice Brian Drinking

Facts about Choices in Relationships • Choices Involve Trade-offs – Every relationship choice you make will have a downside and an upside. • Choices Include Selecting a Positive or Negative View – In spite of an unfortunate event in your life, you can choose to see the bright side. • Choices Involve Different Decision-making Styles – – “I am in control. ” “I am experimenting and learning. ” “I am struggling but growing. ” I have been irresponsible. ” Just having fun!

Facts about Choices in Relationships • Choices Produce Ambivalence – Choosing among options and trade-offs often creates conflicting feelings as to what course of action to take. • Most Choices Are Revocable; Some Are Not – Most choices can be changed. Job/quite

Facts about Choices in Relationships • Choices are Influenced by the Family Life Cycle – Before marriage, individualism characterizes most thinking and decisions. Delay Marriage to complete school Have children after being married Staying home with child Return to work when child is older

• Choices Are Facilitated with Decision-Making Skills – Steps in decision making include • • evaluating the issues involved, identifying courses of action, weighing the consequences and being attentive to your motivations

Institutions • The largest elements of society are social institutions. • These include: – Family – Economy – Education – Religion

Social Groups • Two or more people who have a common identity, interact, and form a social relationship. • Social groups may be categorized as primary or secondary.

Social Groups Primary groups are characterized by interaction that is intimate and informal. • Parents and friends Secondary groups are characterized by interaction that is impersonal and formal • Coworkers, fellow classmates Page 22

Influences on Choices • Global – Economic, political, and religious events around the world affects our marriage and family • Social Structure – Institutions – Social groups – Status - social identity/facebook – Roles – expectations in the family

Statuses • The status we occupy largely define our social identity. • The statuses in a family may consist of mother, father, child, sibling, stepparent, and so on. What is your status in your family?

Roles • Every status is associated with many roles, or sets of rights, obligations, and expectations associated with a status. • Social statuses identify who we are; roles identify what we are expected to do. • Roles guide our behavior and allow us to predict the behavior of others. Man’s job What is your role in the family?

Culture • Two central elements of culture are beliefs and values. – Beliefs: definitions/explanations of what is true. – Values: standards regarding what is good/bad, right/wrong

Belief • definitions and explanations about what is thought to be true. – Parent at home is best – Day care is best – Children do best with a two parent family – Single parent family can also enrich children Write a belief you share with your family

Values • standards regarding what is good and bad, right and wrong, desirable and undesirable Values influence choices • Individualism – decisions based on the individual • Collectivism – decisions based on the group What are your Cultural values?

Discussion • How might couples avoid strain on their relationship from the media that consumes our daily lives?

Marriage • The federal government regards marriage as a legal relationship that binds a couple together for the reproduction, physical care and socialization of children. • Economic relationship – they become joint owner in their income and debt.

Elements of Marriage • • • Legal Contract Emotional Relationship Sexual Monogamy Legal Responsibility for Children Public Announcement /Ceremony

Benefits of Marriage Health Page 5 Spouses have fewer hospital admissions, see a physician more regularly, are sick less often. Longevity Spouses live longer. Happiness Spouses report being happier. Sexual Spouses report being more satisfied satisfaction with their sex lives.

Benefits of Marriage Money Spouses have more economic resources Lower expenses Two can live more cheaply together than separately. Drug use Spouses have lower rates of drug use and abuse. Connectedness Spouses are connected to more individuals.

Benefits of Marriage Children History Crime Rates of high school dropouts, teen pregnancies, and poverty are lower. Spouses develop a shared history across time. Spouses are less likely to be involved in crime. Loneliness Spouses are less likely to report loneliness.

Most Marriages have MONOGAMY One Partner

Types of Marriage in Polygamy • Polygyny – 1 husband 2+ wives • Polyandry – 1 wife and 2+ husbands • Polyamory – Two lovers do not forbid one another from having other lovers “open relationship” • Pantogamy – Group marriage/ communes

Family A group of two or more people related by blood, marriage or adoption Types of Family of Origin Family of Procreation Nuclear Family Binuclear Family Extended Family

Types of Families • Family of origin/family of orientation: the family into which you were born or the family in which you were reared • Family of procreation: the family individuals begin when they marry and have children. Page 10

Types of Families • Nuclear family: family consisting of you, your parents, your siblings, your spouse and your children (may refer to either family of origin or family of procreation). • Traditional family: two-parent nuclear family

Types of Families • Modern family: dual earner family where both spouses work outside the home • Postmodern family: lesbian and gay families, single mothers by choice • Binuclear family: family in which the members live in two separate households.

Types of Families • Blended family: family unit created when divorced parents remarry and take children into new marriage (new spouse may also have children from previous marriage). • Extended family: a family that includes relatives such as grandparents, uncles, aunts, and/or cousins.

Differences Between Marriage and Family Marriage • Involves two people. • Individuals usually choose each other. • Ends when spouse dies or is divorced. • Sex between spouses is expected and approved. • Procreation expected. • Formal ceremony. Family • Usually involves more than two people. • Members are born or adopted into the family. • Continues beyond the life of the individual. • Sex between near kin is neither expected nor approved. • Consequence of procreation. • Formal ceremony not essential.

The Industrial Revolution and Family Change • Dual-income family- farming/ wages • Urbanization-factories were built in the cities & families moved to be around factories • Transportation – travel to work • The demise of families and the rise of individualism Read page 15

Theoretical Frameworks Page 26 for Marriage and the Family • Structural-Functional – Views the family as an institution with values, norms, and activities meant to provide stability for the larger society. • Conflict – Recognizes that family members have different goals and values that result in conflict. • Social Exchange – Individuals seek to maximize their benefits and minimize their costs.

Theoretical Frameworks for Marriage and the Family • Family life Course Development – Emphasizes the process of how families change over time. • Family systems – System of interrelated parts that function together to maintain a unit • Feminist – Women and men will experience life differently because there are different expectations for the respective genders.

Theoretical Frameworks for Marriage and the Family • Symbolic Interaction – The process of interpersonal interaction. – The self fulfilling prophecy • Systems Framework – The basic premise is that each member of the family is part of a system and the family as a unit develops norms of interacting, which may be explicit or implied.

TAKE OUT A PIECE OF PAPER ACTIVITY #3 1) List three unique characteristics of the American Family 2)Explain how the family is an Economic unit 3)In what area do you find intimacy most easily? Intellectual, Physical or Emotional