Negotiating to get what you want and deserve

Negotiating to get what you want and deserve Strategic Performance for Women Executives Kit Needham

Four Barriers to Asking • Recognizing opportunities to negotiate • Entitlement • Anxiety • Social consequences

Negotiation Myths and Misconceptions • My boss will promote me when I’m ready • Salary or ___ isn’t negotiable in my organization • I just have to make the best of it; there’s nothing I can do to change the situation • I’m probably getting paid what I’m worth • The recruiter says they don’t negotiate • The economy is so weak it isn’t a good time to negotiate • I don’t have any power to negotiate • Good work is its own reward

• 1970 --1977

1970 -1977 Mary Tyler Moore was the only single working woman in a title role on TV Next came The Bionic Woman and Charlie's Angels

The most important step in the negotiation process is deciding to negotiate in the first place! 6

Negotiation: What is it? Negotiation: a process of potentially opportunistic interaction by which two or more parties, with some apparent conflict, seek to do better through jointly decided action than they could do otherwise. Negotiation: A tool to change the status quo

Locus of Control Internal “I make things happen” External “Things happen to me” Internal vs External More likely to: • Undertake activities to advance my interests • Seek out information to advance my interests • Be more assertive towards others

You can ask for this?

Costs of Not Negotiating First Job Offer

Costs of Not Negotiating First Job Offer Lost income is $568, 000

Is $3. 00 OK?

“I determine my own worth and it is up to me to make sure that my company pays me what I am worth. ” 85% of men 15% of women

Who’s In Charge? • Do you wait to see your raise or do you negotiate for it? • Do you wait to be promoted or ask for it? • Have you identified the next step you want to take in your career? Does your supervisor know what you want to do?

Make a Plan “Fail to plan and plan to fail” Planning for negotiation is the most important thing you can do to improve your negotiation outcome. Preparation gives you a tremendous amount of bargaining power

Planning Tool Kit • Decide what you want. Know your priorities so you can pick your battles. • Size up the situation. How many issues? Who’s involved? Underlying interests? • Identify obstacles. Likely objections? Need new skills? Negotiation anxiety? • Do your homework. Is the $ range reasonable? Salary surveys, internet, ask friends, colleagues

Planning Tool Kit • Define the best possible alternative. Best that can happen if you don’t reach a negotiated settlement. • Don’t wait until you are desperate. Waiting builds up resentment which backfires • Establish a target or goal. Make it clear and ambitious, e. g. 7% raise or $10, 000. (men w/ no goal did 2 x better than women; gap closed to 30% for women with goal)

Planning Tool Kit • Role play. Eases anxiety • Ask for it. Be assertive. Women believe boss will move you along when ready but boss has many irons in the fire. • Keep calm; have an emotional control plan. Take a break, ask to continue later. • Win-win. Approach as a problem to be solved. Understand their perspective.

Planning Tool Kit • Bounce back. § When negotiations fail, women blame themselves, men blame others. § Women credit luck for success, lack of merit for failures. § Women take ‘no’ for an answer. Men say ‘If you can’t meet my request, how close can you come’.

Components of your emotional management plan • Have one! • Identify and eliminate negative emotions which inhibit creativity • Alert yourself to the shadow negotiation • Anticipate resistance and role play • Have a plan to diffuse non-constructive emotions

Negotiation Gym

How do I get in Shape? Practice, practice Week 1: Start with the easy stuff Week 2: Negotiate at least 5 harder things Week 3: Ask for twice as much Week 4: Ask for 3 long shots Week 5: Ask for ‘too much’ Learn that ‘no’ is actually Okay

One Approach • Lou Grant: You want a raise, is that it? • Ted Baxter: Lou, I've written a figure on this pad. • Lou Grant: Ted, I've written two words on this pad. • Ted Baxter: Lou, I think there's some room for negotiation between that figure and those words. 23 23