Le Femme Finishing School Piscataway NJ Psychological and

Le. Femme Finishing School Piscataway, NJ Psychological and Emotional Transformation From Mask to Authenticity Presented by Kyla James, Le. Femme Finishing School

Presentation Overview This workshop focuses on the psychological and emotional aspects of Mt. F transformation, rather than on appearance or physical changes, in an attempt to transcend the feminine “illusion” to a more authentic feminine identity. In this session, we will discuss: • Transgendered Archetypes or Masks • Psychological & Emotional Differences between Women, Men and Transgendered People • Everyday Practices, Activities and Experiences Which Will Assist in the Development of a More Genuine Feminine Personality • Linking Your Male and Female Identities

I. Masks

The Purpose of Masks • In primitive societies, masks were used ceremonially to invoke spirits and make them “real” (bringing them into this world), connecting and uniting a tribe with its deities. • In classical societies, masks were used to represent characters, often those thought to control human events (e. g. the Gods, the Fates). • In the modern world, masks are commonly costumes and/or attitudes towards life situations, used to accentuate and dramatize aspects of human personalities (or to incarnate a fantasy) and designed to control the perceptions of others, while often times minimizing or concealing vulnerabilities.

Archetypes • • • Elegant Lady (e. g. Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Onassis) The Mother The Bride 50’s Housewife (e. g. June Billingsley, Beaver’s Mom) The Good Girl The Little Girl The Adolescent The Bimbo The Temptress/Seductress

Archetypes • • • The Career Woman The Secretary The Naughty Girl Rocker/Biker Chick (e. g. Joan Jett, Lita Ford, Pink) The Diva (e. g. Cher, Tina Turner, Ru. Paul) The Dominatrix The Sex Kitten (e. g. Marilyn Monroe) The Slut/Tramp The Sissy Maid “Man in a Dress”

The Affects and Efficacy of Masks • • • Stress Relief Playing a Different Role or Character Expression of Marginalized Aspects of Personality or True Self Relating to Others in New or Different Ways Change in Attitudes Observation and Exploration Humor Freedom ”Time Out of Life” Control/Releasing Control Fantasy Fulfillment Erotic Actualization

II. Psychological & Emotional Differences Between

Caveat • Despite the significant increase in both breadth and frequency over the past three decades, scientific research revealing the differences between female and male brains and psychology is still in its infancy, inspiring considerable debate within the scientific community on certain issues. • Studies have been complicated in part by the confusion between acculturation and biology.

The Conventional “Wisdom” • Women are more intuitive and empathic, react more emotionally, are more focused on relationships and personal security and depend on communication to actualize themselves and develop relationships • Men, by contrast, are more analytical and conceptual, independent and aggressive, express less emotion, tend to prioritize thoughts and activities and typically have a less verbal communication style

Structural and Cognitive Similarities in the Brain • According to the latest study (2005), 78 -80% of male and female brains are identical • No difference in native cognitive abilities or intelligence • Proportions of white-to-gray matter are, on the whole, equivalent • Both female and male brains are bihemispheric

Structural and Cognitive Dissimilarities in the Brain • • • Left Brain/Right Brain dimorphism Females have 4 times as many neurons connecting the hemispheres (left and right) of the brain as do males Males have more brain mass (10% more) than females (Pearlson, 1999) The nucleus of the hypothalamus gland (controlling hormonal release via the pituitary gland) is almost twice as large in heterosexual males than in heterosexual females (Levay, 1991) Areas in the brain respond differently to the same stimuli in male and female brains (e. g. study on reaching, 2008) The IPL (inferior parietal lobe) regions in the brain (just above the ears and relating to spatiotemporal awareness) are larger in males than in females (Pearlson, 1995) The Broca and Wernicke areas of the brain (located in the frontal and temporal lobes, relating to linguistic ability and fluency) are larger in females than in men, by as much as 23%. (Pearlson, 1995) According to the latest studies, females have overall better long-term memory than men; memory is more typically activated by verbal cues in females and by visual cues in males. Though there is controversy regarding the process of brain masculinization, androgens (principally testosterone) affect brain morphology (size and shape of various regions of the brain), particularly in the regions of associated with emotional learning, spatial memory, memory modulation (consolidation), relationship with time, social and sexual behaviors, anxiety, stress and panic response and aggression (Zuloaga, 2008)

Fox and the Hedgehog (“The fox knows many things, the hedgehog only one…. one good one” – Archilochus) – Essentialist vs. Pluralistic Thinking • As a consequence of the increased number of neurons in the female brain, genetic females are capable of focusing on multiple things at once (parallel thinking) whereas genetic males generally focus on one thing at a time (serial thinking) • Genetic females tend to give equal weight to their thoughts whereas genetic males tend to prioritize, ordering their thoughts in some schema of importance • “Ally Mc. Beal” Effect • “Beer, Brats and Broads”

Abstraction vs. Particularity • In contravention of the conventional wisdom, females are as capable as males of conceptual thinking, integrating “facts” into schemas • Males are typically capable of more refined temporal and spatial judgments than females and score higher on average on math tests • Females, by contrast, are more capable of nuanced comprehension and understanding of sounds, social situational cues and are more responsive to perceived security threats, either to themselves or others around them

Agency vs. Referential • Males typically regard themselves as self-directed agents of their own experience, not availing themselves of other resources or references, forging solutions as a method of self expression and actualization, except as conditioned by temporal efficiency (e. g. completing a project at work, locating and navigating to a destination) • Females are more likely to consult available resources and references (including friends, relations and colleagues) as a successful method to attain objectives, often delaying action until they believe they have enough information to act

Problem Solving • Males are typically more focused on solutions to problems, not the process of arriving at a solution • Females are more focused on the process of conceiving solutions and are content not to solve a problem without complete information • Females and males isolate anomalies, define problems equally well and proceed to solve them, using the methods defined above.

The Impact of Hormones on the Female Brain • According to the latest research, estrogen and progesterone, the principal female hormones, has a palliative effect on the brain, protecting brain volume and neural functioning and certain aspects of cognition • After age 50, there is a pronounced decline in estrogen in females, which correlates with slower neural processing, memory loss and diminished abstract reasoning capabilities as well as increased moodiness and depression • After age 60, males have 3 times the estrogen circulating in the system on average as women of the same age Effects of Estrogen: Estrogen and the Brain, 2008 (http: //www. medscape. com/viewarticle/406718_2) Eur J Pharmacol. 2010 September 1; 641(2 -3): 128– 134

Impact of Hormones on the Male Brain • Masculinization of the brain is closely linked with the levels of testosterone in utero and the action of estradiol (enzyme converted testosterone) and greater volume of androgen receptors (Wikipedia) • Induced by the level of testosterone, centers in the brain responsible for emotional learning, spatial memory, memory modulation (consolidation), relationship with time, social and sexual behaviors, anxiety, stress and panic response and aggression are enhanced (greater cell volume) (Zuloaga, 2008)

Our Evolutionary Past • Female and male brains have been specialized throughout human evolution, accentuating different characteristics and capabilities as a response to the environment & cultural roles within society • As hunter-gatherers for most of human history, males developed spatio-temporal acuities, visual memory and an array of cognitive faculties related to their role • Females specialized in faculties associated with the development of the family and community, such as verbal skills and memory, building social relationships, stress and security threat sensitivities • Culture has had a profound influence on both males and females, specializing them into roles as much or more than have genetics or human evolution

Differences in the Transgendered/Transsexual Brain • Studies have shown that there are differences in the white matter composition in the brains of transgendered people, particularly in the frontal and parietal lobes • Brain morphology of the MTF transgendered individuals is not completely masculinized but not completely feminized, yet they identify as female (cell volumes in the hypothalamus and stria terminalis are roughly 50% of cell volumes of those in heterosexual males in the same regions of the brain) • A recent study indicates that consciousness of gender variance begins early in life, by age 5, corroborating what most of us experience (Transsexual differences caught on brain scan, Hamzelou, 2011, http: //www. newscientist. com/article/dn 20032 -transsexual-differences-caught-on-brainscan. html)

Tentative Conclusions • Much of the conventional wisdom has not been scientifically disproven • Due to the differences in neural compositions, males are more left brain dependent and females utilize more their right brain • Thought processing in females is more dynamic than in males due to the neural connections between the hemispheres of the brain • Males develop concepts typically based on deductive reasoning (hypothesizing concepts against which facts can be tested) whereas females are more disposed to inductive reasoning (integrating “facts” into a a concept) • Due to several causes (primacy of the left brain, reasoning styles. more egoistic self concept than females), males are more likely to prioritize and organize thoughts according to “logical” structures, whereas females are more likely to give equal importance to all their thoughts • Styles of actualization differ in males and females, male exhibiting more selfdirected direct action and females more socially mediated agency • Females and males are generally equally competent in problem solving, though females are more focused on the process of problem solving than that males for whom solution is the objective

Tentative Conclusions • Females have much greater access to centers in the brain associated with emotion than males, whereas males, more left brain dependent, typically have a much more restricted range of emotional expression • Perceptive acuities in are more pronounced in females (sounds, changes in the environment) than males, whose primary artery of perception is visual • In females, verbal acuities and cognition are more directly linked than in males, leading to a more interactive and discursive cognitive paradigm that in males (“I discuss, therefore I am”) • Due to a larger cell volume in certain regions of the brain (the hypothalmus in particular), males exhibit more aggressive and competitive behavior than females • Females are more focused building and maintaining relationships than males typically, perhaps as a hedge on their stress, anxiety, panic and security threat sensitivities • Males and females have different orientations toward time; males appear to “compete” with time, regarding time as a barrier to self-actualization, whereas females work cooperatively with and in time and regard it as an ally in selfactualization • The brain of transgendered individuals is a partially masculinized, containing approximately 50% of the cell volume in various centers of the brain than typical heterosexual males

III. Promoting Your Feminine Side

Concentration Exercises • Read widely, to develop new interests, areas of knowledge and to increase focus, concentration and comprehension • Write a journal (or better yet work on a novel!) • Start a book club • Meditate (transcendental or other) • Observe visible differences between men and women in public places • Observe discrete objects (e. g. a landscape, a garden, a piece of art) and isolate as many details in them as you can

Domestic Activities • Do housework regularly • Learn to cook or upgrade your cooking skills • Learn food presentation and practice table service • Learn how to do laundry that way your wife, girlfriend or significant other prefers • Re-design and/or re-decorate the interior of your home or apartment

Socialization Activities • Socialize with friends and acquaintances - men women, tgirls, trans-men • Organize, plan and manage a party at your house or apartment • Get “adopted” by a bachelorette party at a club • Window shop with friends to stimulate imagination and creativity • Help your wife, daughter, girlfriend or other t-girls with a craft project • Volunteer at a church or community organization

Beautification Activities • Experiment in ways that are available to you with new looks (e. g. hair, clothing, jewelry) • Take time to get a makeover or have your nails done; allow yourself some pampering time and extend the courtesy to your family and friends • Paint your toenails or have regular manicures and pedicures • Occasionally, take baths instead of showers (and don’t forget the bubble bath) • Have massages and learn to give great massages for your significant other(s) • Try on a wedding dress, prom dress or a formal outfit

Skill Development • Take dancing lessons to improve movement and grace • Learn to crochet, knit and/or sew • Learn to fold napkins in creative ways • Couponing • Develop hobbies such as scrapbooking, gardening, photography, painting, antinquing or collecting • Participate more actively in child care • Cultivate a more feminine deportment and demeanor through practice of each skill you identify

Spiritual and Sexual Development • Cultivate greater tolerance, patience and respect and empathy for other people, regardless of their situation • Extend your developing tolerance to yourself! • Listen to your significant other’s problems at work and be supportive, but don’t verge into problem solution until invited to do so • Perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis • Get comfortable with your sexuality and, to the extent possible, explore your sexual interests

IV. The Fusion of Female and Male Selves

“Guilt is really a function of the lies you tell yourself; a truthful life is a life free of guilt” Accept aspects of your male personality, particularly your best traits and capabilities, regarding them as the building blocks to realize your true self, shedding those traits you feel inconsistent with your transgendered self and “softening” the traits that you wish to retain

Using the suggestions in the previous section, increase your levels of perception, your concentration, verbal acuity and emotive and empathetic responses to help re-pattern your thought processes and communication style

Be patient and tolerant with yourself and others, accepting the changes in yourself and the responses of others as all part of the process of becoming more feminine

Actively build relationships with people, women and t-girls, in particular (though by no means exclusively), seeking a wider frame of reference for your emerging feminine personality

Participate more cooperatively with others

Avoid cynicism and sarcasm, as much as they may be warranted, and develop new modes of responses to your environment

Eschew physical aggression and competition, using them only as a last resort

Listen and Learn! Practice, Practice!!!

QUESTIONS?

Contact Information Ms. Kyla James Le. Femme Finishing School Piscataway, NJ www. xdressnj. com kylajoy 7588@hotmail. com 732 241 -2873 Le. Femme Sissy Maid Pageant 2013 September 7, 2013 SAVE THE DATE!