Everyone Deserves a Speeding Ticket compliments of Harold

Everyone Deserves a Speeding Ticket compliments of: Harold Burris Saint Agnes Academy 9000 Bellaire Blvd Houston, TX 77036 TPT Volume 31, January 1993 page 31 and 32

Imagine You checked the clock. Oh my! Its late, and if I don’t hurry I will be late for school. School begins at 7: 30.

You jump into your shoes. Pick up your backpack. Run out and jump into the car. And away you go.

You look at your watch. “I’m going to be late!” Your foot gets heavier. The accelerator goes down. Your speed goes up. And…

You guessed it, There is a Matawan Police car right behind. What do you do? Your at a “crossroad” in your life. You can either stop or run.

Being the intelligent person you are, you do the intelligent thing and stop. As you roll down your window the police office informs you that you were going 35 mi/hr in a 25 mi/hr zone.

The fine: $10 for each mi/hr over the speed limit. This brings the fine to $100.

You say, “I’ll be happy to pay the fine, but hurry up, I don’t want to be late for class. ” “But wait, ” the police officer replies, “I wish it were that simple. ”

“You see, our city council just recently passed a law that requires us to fine you for being on planet Earth as it rotates on its axis!”

“Here on planet Earth, in the state of New Jersey, in the town of Matawan, on Lloyd Road you are traveling at precisely 783 mi/hr as you rotate with the earth on its axis. That brings your fine to $7, 580

Again you say, “I’ll be happy to pay the fine, but hurry up, I don’t want to be late for school. ” “But wait, ” the police officer replies, “I wish it were that simple. ”

“You see, our city council just recently passed a law that requires us to fine you for the fact that you are on the Earth, which is revolving in its orbit around the Sun!”

“Here on planet Earth, in the state of NJ, in the town of Matawan, on Lloyd Road, you are traveling at precisely 66, 646 mi/hr as you revolve in orbit about the sun. ” That brings your fine to $666, 210.

Again you say, “I’ll be happy to let you have fifty percent of my salary for the next 20 years, but just let me get to class on time so I can graduate and get a job to pay off this crazy ticket. ” “But wait, ” the police officer replies, “I wish it were that simple. ”

“You see, our city council just recently passed a law that requires us to fine you for the fact that the entire Solar System is moving toward the star Vega in the constellation of Lyra!”

“Here on planet Earth, in the state of NJ, in the town of Matawan, on Lloyd Road, you are traveling at precisely 44, 041 mi/hr as you are traveling towards the constellation Lyra!” That brings your fine to $440, 410.

You are getting desperate. “Just let me drive immediately to the police station and begin work there to begin paying off my fine. ” “But wait, ” the police officer replies, “I wish it were that simple. ”

“You see, our city council just recently passed a law that requires a fine for the fact that you are part of the Milky Way galaxy, which is rotating about its axis. ”

“Here on planet Earth, in the state of NJ, in the town of Matawan, on Lloyd Road, you are traveling at precisely 558, 925 mi/hr as the Milky Way galaxy rotates about its axis. That brings your fine to $5, 589, 000.

Your fines totals up to be: $100 $7, 580 $666, 210 $440, 410 $5, 589, 000 $6, 703, 300