THE FALL OF EROS Is There Love After

THE FALL OF EROS: Is There Love After Facebook and Miley Cyrus?

The Fall of Eros � � 1. What Is Romantic Love? 2. Romantic Love Is In Danger! 3. Who cares? Good Riddance! 4. Conclusion: A Challenge

Romantic Love � � � Not love as in like (“I like chocolate ice cream”) Not friendship Not filial or love of family Not Agape-Divine Love Not sex…

� � But the fully realized, autonomous, erotically driven transformative experience…. . . associated with the strong desire to become close to another person…to, in some sense, share your life with that person.

Necessary Ingredients For Love � � � Eros/Sexual desire Equitability Spontaneity--a voluntary choice (Solomon, About Love, 45 -49)

Love As Transformation of Identity � � � A unique kind of personal identity A transformation of identity in light of another (pp 40 -50) An “I” becomes a “we”

Love Is In Danger! Alan Bloom Vs. Kinsey, Freud, “Feminists” � � � Claim 1: Romantic love (and our ability to experience it) is eroding Claim 2: This is a bad thing, so we should be worried. Claim 3: We should reinvest in love, encourage our young people to (a) read literature that supports development of eros and romantic imagination, and (b) nourish a taste for it.

The Argument (Cont’d) At least three, key phenomena contributed to its erosion: (in addition to the general , disenchantment with the world post scientific revolution and fall of Christendom) � Kinsey Reports, 1948 and 1953 � Sigmund Freud, 1856 -1939 � Feminist movement, sexual liberation

Objections to Claim #1 � These allegations aren’t true! The historical developments of Kinsey, Freud and sexual liberation did not harm love! Romantic love is quite alive (See artifacts a, b, c…)! � Sexually explicit literature, pornography, is not only compatible with, but enhances the imagination, and so…love!

Objections to Claim #2 � � � Transparency about sex, freedom from rigid norms of courtship… …power distributed equally among partners and a clear-sighted look at reality is a worthy trade-off! Death of love is not a bad thing!

“The Future of Romantic Love” R. White � Claim 1: Newer generations of young people are not finding a desperate need to escape isolation by turning to romantic love. � Claim 2: This is a good thing, since love is a false alternative to isolation, anyway. � Claim 3: We should see more authentic human relationships than romantic love!

Modern Construction of Personal Identity � � � Newer generations do not construct identity purely autonomously, in a vacuum. Now we have a much deeper sense of belonging to others, to groups outside of ourselves Transparency (NOT privacy) is the norm! Social media, Facebook, Twitter or even just email supports transparency, group identity We already have a “we” in place

White’s argument (cont’d) � � 1. Young people today DO NOT feel isolated 2. Therefore, they do NOT feel the need to escape any such isolations and… 3. …as a result do NOT turn to romantic love to save them from this sad, awful isolation. 4. We will see, therefore, an erosion of romantic love and….

� …Good riddance! � Let us be done with the silly, naïve, antiquated and false sense of security in being known by another…since this is a ruse. 6. Let us, instead, look forward to more authentic forms of human relationships! �

Conclusion � � � Love is one value among many Love can enhance a meaningful life by sharing one’s whole self with another The tradeoff: transformation in the authentic ‘you’, involves, in some sense, limiting who you are by another, but in other sense, importantly expanding, learning about whom you could be!

� � � Warning: Romantic love is not a given, but a phenomenon that requires attending to and developing a sensitivity for, in order for it to flourish. Challenge: Can we support eros in ourselves authentically (a) with attention to key virtues that require vigilance in order to maintain, but (b) without propelling rigid, curdling gender roles and false pretenses? This is up to YOU and your generation to get right!