CONTACT MAKING IS EASY Yeah Right EXERCISE Think

CONTACT MAKING IS EASY Yeah Right! ~``, ? ?

EXERCISE Ø Think about a time when an agreement wrong – got misconstrued, misunderstood, confused, difficult or nasty. Ø Choose a piece of coloured paper that helps you identify your feeling/s Ø Write down what you thought the contract or agreement was Ø Take some time to listen to you intuition and note what that was

CURRENT KNOWLEDGE/INFORMATION • What do you already know? • Whose theory is it? • What is your ‘pet’ theory? • What works for you (when you contract)?

THEORIES • Berne • “An explicit bilateral commitment to a well-defined course of action” • What do you like about it? • What is missing?

THEORY Berne Administrative Professional Psychological Hay Procedural Professional Psychological Perception Political Procedural Purpose Professional Personal Psychological Physis

CONTRACTS - HAY • Administrative/Procedural ü timing ü venue ü payment ü task responsibilities ü toilets ü breaks etc

CONTRACTS • Professional • What will we achieve ü Goals ü Specific tasks ü Competencies ü Oversight ü Other functions ü Risks ü Limitations

CONTRACTS • Psychological • Often the ‘unspoken’ aspects ü Respect ü Trust ü Undercurrents ü Dissatisfaction ü Unclear boundaries ü Tone of voice ü Clusters – Congruence ü Incongruence ü ‘Way things are done around here’

STEINER Mutual Consent Request Consideration Offer Competency Acceptance Lawful intent

STEWART • ‘Any contract for an outcome must be supported by at least one contract for a related action’. • Example an OUTCOME (goal) contract is – find a suitable job. • The ACTION contract: prepare a CV, engage a recruitment agent, check out various online opportunities etc.

STEWART CONT’D • When two people make a contract, each party has their own expectations: ‘When you and I negotiate, I have an outcome in mind for myself, but I also have an outcome in mind for you. ’ Vice versa

STEWART CONT’D Within all the permutations above there is also the unconscious, (unknown) component at any or all the levels. Stewart draws it like this:

STEWART CONT’D • Supplier/s. And within an organisational framework, there a lot more permutations: Customer/s Members of other teams Other departments Management team Directors Board of Trustees Principals Other teachers Parents Other students …

JAMES Muriel James • “bilateral, not unilateral” agreement … • “a clear statement in operational form of the individual or interpersonal problems to be solved and the action required to solve them. It is absolutely essential that the statement be clear, concise and direct, rather than vague or generalised; it must be realistic, with an achievable goal. ”

JAMES CONT’D • Be aware that a contaminated Adult might well be protecting Child (might be appropriate to refer for counselling) • Initial goals may be tentative till trust develops (‘soft contracts”) • 5 questions to establish the goal: • What would enhance your chances of achieving your ? • What would you need to change to get what you want? • What would you be willing to do to effect that change? • How would others know when the change has been made? • How might you sabotage yourself?

JAMES CONT’D A check list for thinking about contracts and ego states: • Does your Parent approve the goal as beneficial for you? (is it safe, ethical, professional) • Does your Adult know the facts? (e. g. Job security for poor performance) • What’s in it for your Child? (if all loss and no pleasure, the Child will sabotage)

JAMES (CONT’D) • Challenge non-contract words – “I’d like to. . . ” “I’ll try. . . ” By changing to “I will. . . ” • Keep a record of sub-contracts made and met as evidence of real progress

ENGLISH Fanita English Great Powers (GP) 3 Cornered Contract Facilitator (F) Group (G) • Contracts are clear and explicit on all sides • There are clear role definitions • No hidden agendas

MICHOLT Nelly Micholt developed the idea of Psychological Distance • Facilitator & group on the same wave length • Feel distant from the GP • GP are impersonal, geographically distant, uninvolved GP • Facilitator colludes with group’s frame of reference • Facilitator charismatic with group and distant with GP F G • Participants mistrust GP

MICHOLT GP G F • GP & Facilitator clear about common goals & actions • Group not involved in goal setting • Group do not understand the need for … • Facilitator is employed by GP or is a friend of GP • Facilitator seen as management spy (roles have not been made explicit • Facilitator to evaluate or ‘pass’ the participants and report back to management

MICHOLT • Facilitator seen as an outsider • Facilitator is psychologically isolated • Facilitator’s culture (background or socioeconomic group) is different from group • Facilitators professional frame of reference is different from GP & Group • GP & Group see themselves as different GP F G

MICHOLT Nelly identifies difficulties caused when the relationships are unevenly balanced by showing the connection between behavioural life positions

4 WAY CONTRACTS & MORE NZIM External Organisation Course Facilitator Course Participants NZIM Staff Spouse

LET’S CHECK OUT YOUR CONTRACT • Identify the various people involved in your contract • How will you draw this? • Using the drawing, with a dark line, identify the contracts that were clear & concise • With a dotted, broken, squiggly or other kind of line, identify and show the contracts that were not clear or had ulterior transactions involved

EXERCISE Go back to your piece of paper � What awareness have you gained about what happened in the contracting process? � To get a more satisfying outcome what would you change? � How do you feel about the contract now? � What colour paper would you prefer to have now? (Take a new piece of paper) and rewrite your contract.

SMART • S = Specific • M = Measurable • A = Achievable • R = Realistic • T = Time Bound

SO WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNT? • Things you already knew – now are enhanced or changed or …? • New learnings

CONTRACTS ARE EASY WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS NOW?

CONTRACT FOR OUR TRAINING • Using the various forms of contracts that you are now aware of • What do you want? • How do you want it? • How will you/we manage differences? And what do you want to re-contract for? Other aspects?