Lesson 12 Thursday 21 st May Thursday 21

Lesson 12 Thursday 21 st May

Thursday 21 st May 2020 Lesson 12 Dirt and Significant Piece Preparation Today you will be improving the analytical paragraphs which you previously submitted and reminding yourself of your feedback before completing a full essay over half term.

Refresh your memory by rereading the two poems you wrote about…

WWW Below are some of the things that were done well • You explored the title of the essays (long-lasting effects) and talked about the different ways it is shown in the poems. • You labelled some methods using terminology in your writing. • You showed a strong understanding of your chosen poems. • You were able to zoom in on specific words/techniques. Read back through your work and tick the ones that you did.

EBI Below are some of the things you could improve on. 1. Evaluate the likely impact(s) on the readers’ thoughts, feelings or understanding 2. Link this, if it seems likely, to the writer’s intention or purpose 3. Try to deepen your exploration by adding a further piece of supporting evidence and analysing it as well. 4. Use more terminology as you explore the writer’s method. 5. Comparisons work best when there is a link between the two paragraphs’ topic sentences (similar or contrasting ideas) and your second paragraph refers back to the first in terms of method and/or topic 6. Apply context as a way of exploring possible reader responses. The next slide will illustrate how to achieve these targets. You can then work on improving your own.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Match the sentence stem to the EBI A. Unlike Duffy’s representation of the lasting trauma as a target… physical trembling, Hughes refers to deeply seated psychological damage Evaluate the likely impact(s) on the readers’ thoughts, feelings or understanding Link this, if it seems likely, to the writer’s intention or purpose Try to deepen your exploration by adding a further piece of supporting evidence and analysing it as well. Use more terminology as you explore the writer’s method. Comparisons work best when there is a link between the two paragraphs’ topic sentences (similar or contrasting ideas) and your second paragraph refers back to the first in terms of method and/or topic Apply context as a way of exploring possible reader responses. B. C. D. E. F. Whilst the enjambment immediately beforehand does a lot to emphasise thought-provoking final line, it is the ticking alliteration that really increases the imminent threat of the metaphorical dynamite which is also personified as “touchy” and therefore liable to explode. Many readers would agree that they are over-exposed to images of conflict in the media and in video games so might feel guilt at having a similarly shallow response to such hard-fought images. The idea of the “blood shadow” representing his guilt is reinforced by the final line, “his bloody life in my bloody hands” whereby it is ambiguous whether he sees the blood on his hands, like Lady Macbeth, or whether he curses his hands with taboo language for having been a part of it. This may well bring realisation to some readers that the victims of war aren’t only on the battlefield and they will feel sympathy for families who have lost a loved one. Perhaps it was the writer’s intention that we reassess the glorification of dying for your country by thinking of the young child this corpse once was and the parent who now faces life without them

Re-write this paragraph and label where you have used EBIs 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6 in your improved version In war photographer another way Duffy presents this would be how it shows trauma. This is shown when she writes “his hands, which did not tremble then though seem to now”. The use of a verb and hand symbolism suggests that the hands are trembling because of the severe PTSD this person has experienced. You could practice further by writing a paragraph that compares the presentation of this idea in War Photographer with how it is presented in another poem and label how you’ve applied EBI 5 in doing so.

DIRT – Making your Changes! • Now look at your own EBI and the DIRT task which I have directed you to complete. Take the time to make changes on your work in another colour.

If only one tip will stick as you approach your significant piece, what should it be?

Next lesson: Dear Y 10, Your next lesson is your next significant piece of work to submit to me on Mrs. HWolfram@sjfchs. org. uk. You will receive WWW/EBI feedback again on this like last time. The next lesson is included on this powerpoint even though the lesson itself is scheduled for Wednesday 3 rd June (after half-term hols) in case you wanted to get ahead or see the significant piece of work question beforehand to revise and prepare. It’s up to you as I know some people are working ahead of the set lesson dates. Best wishes, Mrs Wolfram

Lesson 12 Wednesday 3 rd June

Wednesday 3 rd June 2020 Lesson 13 Significant Piece Assessment Today you will write a full essay within 45 minutes (or 55 minutes if you qualify for extra time)

Significant Piece of Work • The next slide contains the task for your poetry assessment. • You have done this before (It was our first year 10 module) • You should aim to select an appropriate second poem having read the question and the given poem • You should plan to compare the two poems in around 4 analytical paragraphs (2 on each poem) • You should spend no longer than 45 minutes on your assessment. • On this occasion you may use your notes and annotated poems as we have absolutely no way of preventing this from happening but do be aware that you will only have the 1 given poem and the other 14 poems’ titles in your actual exam paper so it’s worth beginning to memorize key quotations anyway.

How do poets present conflict in Charge of the Light Brigade and ONE other poem from the Power and Conflict Collection? (30 marks 45 mins) Charge of the Light Brigade Plan for 5 minutes Type for 40 minutes Save your work as a Word Document with your name as the file name Attach it AS A COPY (not a shared onedrive file) to your English teacher. Submit by 3. 35 pm on Wednesday 3 rd June Teacher Email Address 1 a Miss Lewis Miss. RLewis@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 1 b Miss Hayward-Shott Miss. AHayward-Shott@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 2 a Mr Kilby Mr. CKilby@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 2 b Mr Cuthbertson Mr. GCuthbertson@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 2 c Miss Tamayo Miss. BTamayo@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 2 d Mrs Wolfram Mrs. HWolfram@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 2 e Mrs Rome Mrs. CRome@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 2 f Miss O’Rourke Miss. GORourke@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 2 g Miss Beecroft Miss. LBeecroft@SJFCHS. ORG. UK 3 a Miss Gregg Miss. HGregg@SJFCHS. ORG. UK