ASSERTIVENESS ASSERTIVENESS DONT SAY YES WHEN YOU WANT

ASSERTIVENESS

ASSERTIVENESS “DON’T SAY YES WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY NO” -Herbert Fensterhein 2

DOES IT HAPPEN TO YOU? Ø Do you often find that others coerce you into thinking their way? Ø Is it difficult for you to express your feelings openly and honestly? Ø Do you sometimes lose control and become angry at others? 3

Ø Do you yell at your group mates when they don’t pay any heed to your idea? “YES” is an expression of “LACK OF ASSERTION OR ASSERTIVENESS IN COMMUNICATION” 4

WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS? n Assertiveness is about self confidence which means having a positive attitude towards yourself and others.

ASSERTIVENESS: WHAT IS IT? Assertiveness is the ability to express ones thoughts and feelings in a way that clearly states your needs and keeps the line of communication open with the other. - Ryan and Travis 6

IMPORTANCE v Sees everyone as equal with equal rights and equal responsibility v It’s about finding ‘win: win’ solutions v Standing up for personal rights and expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways that do not violate another person’ rights 7

Ø Necessary skill for human survival Ø A reflector of positive mental health Ø Assertiveness increases the chances of our needs being met Ø It allows us to remain in control Ø Assertiveness brings greater self-confidence 8

Ø Assertiveness lets us have greater confidence in others Ø Assertive people have more friends Ø You experience fewer conflicts and arguments Ø Reduced stress 9

Nature of Assertiveness 1 -It depends on expressing yourself 2 -Showing respects to others rights 3 -Being honest 4 -direct and certain 5 -Mutual equilibrium and benefit is important in a relationship 6 -It is expressing emotions, rights, realities, thoughts and boundaries by words 7 -Using non-verbal comminication for sending the message 8 -It is not universal, it depends on the position and the individual 9 -It is getting social responsibility 10 -It is not the nature of the humankind, it can be learned

Assertive people know exactly q What they want. q What they believe. q How they feel about things. q How they react to things. Assertive listening q Understanding all viewpoints q Listening for accuracy q Reinforce your understanding Example – I heard you say -----, did I understand you correctly. . etc

THE IMPORTANCE OF ASSERTIVENESS IN ORGANISATIONS Assertiveness n Personal identity n Wages or salary n Satisfaction from exercising skills n Satisfaction from helping people n Social environment Need to deal with n Themselves n The manager to whom they report n Their colleagues n Their subordinates n Clients or customers

advantages of assertive communication n n n n It helps us feel good about ourselves and others It leads to the development of mutual respect with others It increases our self-esteem It helps us achieve our goals It minimises hurting and alienating other people It reduces anxiety It protects us from being taken advantage of by others It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative

Disadvantages of assertive communication n n Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person's rights means that you won't always get what YOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand therefore not accept this style of communication.