Have a seat Navigating all things potty Sally

Have a seat! Navigating all things potty Sally Neuberger LCSW-C sally. neuberger@gmail. com Readysetgopotty. com

Why potty training is a puzzle • • • Family and societal expectations Developmental readiness Potty equation is incomplete Skill vs. readiness for independence School/daycare pressure

What makes this method unique? Window One and Window Two! • Potty training literature does not define a window one and a window two – but readysetgopotty does! • Window one occurs between 24 and 30 months and includes excitement and skill for all things potty and then the skill and interest disappear overnight. This is when potty battles often begin! • Window Two occurs between 33 and 38 months and presents without child motivation but all readiness skills in place.

Which is correct?

The second unique element of readysetgopotty: The perfect sit • C instead of L shape: soft belly elbows on knees • On-the floor potty • Bubble blowing • Kazoo’s • Pinwheels • The strong consonant game : Polly Pooper • Blow me like the wind!

The 3 rd Unique aspect of Ready. Set. Go. Potty No more big boy/big girl language • Eliminate: “Don’t you want to be a big girl instead of a baby? ”? Who needs to choose whether they will be a baby or a big kid? • Describe the skill you want to see rather than label who the child is: “your body is ready to practice putting pee and poop in the potty!

The 4 th unique aspect of Ready. Set. Gopotty: The Three Day Weekend! • Child is prepped for potty practice weekend • Child helps to plan for weekend and knows what to expect • Child’s profile is honored • Graduated steps towards success • Child becomes increasingly independent over the three days

Indicators of Potty Readiness • • Stay dry for 4 hours Pull pants up and down Know potty process and potty language Completed window one and no interest in ever being potty trained

Creating The Perfect Potty experience • Completed window one (20 -30 months) and parent waited for window two (34 -38 months) • Child has learned appropriate potty position • Parent prepares child for an upcoming potty practice weekend • Child has all readiness signs • Parents are willing to devote a 3 day period to staying home

What about that poop? The 5 th Unique Component of Ready. Set. Go. Potty • Take the Ready. Set. Go. Potty Poop Oath: • Why poop is a problem? • When poop is well integrated into the potty process-it is rarely a problem

The top 7 potty hurdles: the incomplete equation Poor potty choice Learning to pee and poop standing Resisting potty sitting Giving in to diapers/ allowing underwear pooping • Child thinks potty training is complete • Constipation results in loss of rectal sensation • Everyone adapts to the new normal! • •

Why this method might not work… • • Child is too young!! Developmental lag (speech, motor, sensory) interferes Constipation interferes Child did not complete window one Child does not alert to the sensation Child resists/refuses Parent sends inconsistent messages • Bribes rewards charts and m&m’s do not work • Child missed window one and two, not interested, adjusts to their “new normal”

Talking to children about re-capturing skills • • Whoops! Mom and dad made a mistake We are going to do a re-do Prepping and reflecting Preparing for heightened emotion

Let’s try this again when the flowers are blooming it will be different this time… • Prepare child for different tools to be used(naked from the waist down, extended practice, potty sit) • Alert child there will be no option other than pooping on the floor or in the potty • Parent reports that poop can go on the floor or in the potty, less messy in the potty

Strategies for re-training older children • Give advance warning that a practice weekend is coming • Address constipation before re-training • Shift the potty language to belly bothers with older children • Acknowledge this will be hard but necessary • Prepare for strong emotion, teach emotion vocabulary • Plan for additional adult support • approximation when child is truly avoidant

Resources available to you • Pediatric gastroenterologists for constipation • Dr. Steve Hodges: It’s No Accident: www. itsnoaccident. net • Local Behavioral specialists for intensive home support • sally. neuberger@gmail. com www. Readysetgopotty. com 240 -463 -5456