YEAR 5 ENGLISH YEAR 5 ENGLISH Earlier this

YEAR 5 ENGLISH

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Earlier this week (Day 1 and Day 3), we planned our biography and started writing the first draft. Today we are going to finish the first draft. Before we start – go back to your plan and remind yourself of what you planned to include and where. Then recap the features using the table below Biography Feature Introduction Key events in chronological paragraphs Specific facts about achievements Past tense and third person verbs Feelings about different points and events Quotes from the person or other key people A conclusion

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Paragraph 3 – 1830 - 1855 Introduction Look back at your plan (Day 1) to see which key events you planned to include in this paragraph. Before 1830 - 1855 - 1889 Conclusion Example notes: 1831 – opened a factory 1832 – married second wife Candia Had 7 children (6 sons and 1 daughter) Appalled by the use of small boys as chimney sweeps • 1846 – went into partnership with brother • 1853 – Appointed cocoa manufacturer to the Queen • •

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Paragraph 3 – 1830 - 1855 Introduction Teacher model (Start of the paragraph only) Before 1830 - 1855 - 1889 Conclusion John’s interest in cocoa grew and in 1831 he opened his first chocolate factory in Birmingham. It was here that he started developing the recipes which enabled him to produce and sell 16 varieties of drinking chocolate. After the sad death of his first wife, John decided to marry again and in 1832 he married Candia Barrow. They went on to have 7 children altogether (6 sons and 1 daughter). ü ü ü • • • 1831 – opened a factory 1832 – married second wife Candia Had 7 children (6 sons and 1 daughter) Appalled by the use of small boys as chimney sweeps 1846 – went into partnership with brother 1853 – Appointed cocoa manufacturer to the Queen

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Paragraph 3 – 1855 - 1855 Introduction Your task: Write your paragraph in your book Before 1830 - 1855 - 1889 Conclusion • Use the notes you made on your plan • Remember to include the events in chronological (time) order • Include specific facts with dates as well as John Cadbury’s opinions and feelings where they are known • Use additional sentences to add detail to the events you have chosen to write about • Remember to use past tense verbs • Use a range of different sentence types

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Paragraph 4 – 1855 - 1889 Introduction Look back at your plan (Day 1) to see which key events you planned to include in this paragraph. Before 1830 - 1855 - 1889 Conclusion Example notes: • • 1855 – mother died John became ill 1861 – retired 1889 – died

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Paragraph 4 – 1855 - 1889 Introduction Your task: Write your paragraph in your book Before 1830 - 1855 - 1889 Conclusion • Use the notes you made on your plan • Remember to include the events in chronological (time) order • Include specific facts with dates as well as John Cadbury’s opinions and feelings where they are known • Use additional sentences to add detail to the events you have chosen to write about • Remember to use past tense verbs • Use a range of different sentence types

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Concluding sentence Introduction Explore the example introductions on the next slide. Look for similarities in how they are written. Before 1830 - 1855 - 1889 Conclusion

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Example conclusions

YEAR 5 ENGLISH Concluding sentence Introduction Your task: Write your paragraph in your book Before 1830 - 1855 - 1889 Conclusion • Use the notes you made on your plan • Use the example conclusions as models • Keep it short – it only needs to be a sentence