Reward Theory of Attraction Most good relationships can

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Reward Theory of Attraction • Most good relationships can be seen as an exchange

Reward Theory of Attraction • Most good relationships can be seen as an exchange of benefits • Reward theory of attraction (Aronson, 2004): We like people best who give us maximum rewards at minimum cost • 4 powerful sources of reward that predict interpersonal attraction: – Proximity, similarity, self-disclosure, physical attractiveness

Proximity • “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or “Out of sight, out of

Proximity • “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or “Out of sight, out of mind”? • Principle of proximity (nearness): when two individuals are equally attractive, you are more likely to become friends with the nearest one • Why? • The rewards are equal, but the cost is less in time and convenience • Increased contact often increases people’s liking for each other

Similarity • The similarity principle: people are attracted to people who are most similar

Similarity • The similarity principle: people are attracted to people who are most similar to themselves • If two people discover that they have the same tastes in lots of things, they have just exchanged compliments that reward each other for their tastes and attitudes! • So…opposites do not attract!

Self-Disclosure • Good friends and lovers share intimate details about themselves • The more

Self-Disclosure • Good friends and lovers share intimate details about themselves • The more we share, the more attached we become • It takes time to reach this, as self-disclosure usually comes after a sense of trust has been established

Physical Attractiveness • • Is beauty only skin deep? Good looks are a social

Physical Attractiveness • • Is beauty only skin deep? Good looks are a social asset Ex: potential employers, children rating What people say and do are often two different things • Men seem to be slightly more influenced by looks than women • Disadvantages to being a “hottie” include being seen as more vain and materialistic and cold if they are good looking and shy

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love • Love can have 3 components: – Passion, intimacy,

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love • Love can have 3 components: – Passion, intimacy, commitment • Various forms of love are combinations of the 3 components

Types of Love Suggested By Sternberg • Romantic Love: high on passion and intimacy

Types of Love Suggested By Sternberg • Romantic Love: high on passion and intimacy but low on commitment • Liking and Friendship: intimacy but not passion and commitment • Infatuation: high on passion, not yet developed intimacy or commitment • Complete Love: involves all 3: passion, intimacy, commitment

Your Task: • Identify at least one song that you think characterizes each type

Your Task: • Identify at least one song that you think characterizes each type of love as identified by Sternberg: – Romantic love – Liking and Friendship – Infatuation – Complete Love