Make Your Writing Come to Life Thoughtshots and

Make Your Writing Come to Life “Thoughtshots” and “Snapshots”

THOUGHTSHOT • In a personal expository essay, a thoughtshot is the reflection, thought, feeling, or opinion of the author. A thoughtshot in a narrative is a look at what a character is thinking or feeling.

Why do authors use thoughtshots? • Foreshadowing • Show what a character or speaker is thinking/feeling • Show a point of view – a way of looking at things. • Move the plot forward in a story • Show voice and personality

Ask yourself the following. Does the reader… – Does the reader know the thoughts that went through my head during my experience? – Does the reader know how I’ve grown as a result of the experience? – Does the reader see who I really am as a result of my thoughtshot? To insert thoughtshots into your writing , choose an appropriate place in the narrative or essay. Then, ask yourself, “What was I thinking then? ” or “What do I think now? ”

What does a writer do to create a thoughtshot? • • Use inner-dialogue Use figurative language (see snapshot column) Use feelings/emotions Pick a point of view

EXAMPLE “‘This is it, ’ I thought. ‘This is the big moment, and you’re blowing it. ’ As my classmates looked on at me with hard, judging eyes…I deeply wanted to impress them, to fit in, to not be an outcast, to have friends. But all they did was giggle with spite. My heart burned with an agony and turmoil that I had never felt before, as all hope for being normal had suddenly vanished. ”

SNAPSHOT • A snapshot is when a writer zooms in closer and closer on the subject, showing more specific action, smells, sounds, colors, and other physical elements.

Why do authors use snapshots? • • • Sets a mood/tone So the reader will feel like they are in the story/moment Connects the story to places the reader has been Use them to hook the reader Help reader understand something confusing Use in an important moment (ex: “Aha” moment)

Locate the EXPERIENCE portion of your personal essay • Consider the following…can your reader tell: – Where was I? What did it look like? – Whom was I with? – What did I notice around me? – How did I feel before, during, and after the experience?

What does a writer do to create a snapshot? Figurative Language Descriptive word choice Maybe use a visual aid to help inspire your writing Metaphors /Similes Select an important moment in the story Onomatopoeia (sounds words) Personification Slang/colloquialisms (ex: y’all, ain’t, hoagie vs. grinder, soda vs. pop, etc) – this is probably best for thoughtshots • Hyperbole (greatly exaggerate – ex: I’m starving; I’m so hungry I could eat a horse; I’m freezing) • •

EXAMPLE “Will did most of the looking while I followed him around through the laundry room that smelled heavily like starch from ironing. “Brrrrm!” the machines rumbled as loud as thunder. We searched through all my old toys and the sports stuff then looked in Dad’s workshop, being extra careful not to touch any sharp saws hanging on the wall or get a splinter on the panels of wood on the workbench. Hope was lost for finding our presents until we moved over to the storage room. ‘What a perfect place to hide presents, ’ I thought. Boxes stacked up high labeled with things like photo albums or Christmas decorations. There was one narrow pathway so only one of us could fit. Since Will was much taller and stronger than I was he scooted in and started rummaging through everything but nothing was to be found. ”

*IF YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT GOAL- SETTING* BEFORE YOU REVISE, DO THIS!!! • Make a list of thoughts that were part of your experience in the past. • Make a list of thoughts that run through your head regarding the present. • Consider recounting an experience (good or bad) from the past that led you to choose the goals you have chosen for this school year.

*If you are writing about the summer of 20 12* Before you revise, do this! • Create a list of sensory experiences regarding the most memorable event of the summer. Create a list of thoughts that ran through your mind as you experienced this event.

*If you are giving advice to freshmen* Before you revise, do this! • Make a list of all the outstanding moments of your freshman year- negative and positive. • Make a list of sensory words that match one of these moments. • BE SURE to make a list of the thoughts that ran through your mind at that moment.

EDIT Be sure to use spell-check. Be sure to indent. Check your format with a model paper. Save changes to your “U” drive. Raise your hand for a “teacher check”