Your Narrative College Essay Subtitle Hooking your reader

Your Narrative / College Essay Subtitle

Hooking your reader… great first lines • 10 Opening Lines from Stanford Admission Essays • I change my name each time I place an order at Starbucks. • When I was in the eighth grade I couldn't read. • While traveling through the daily path of life, have you ever stumbled upon a hidden pocket of the universe? • I have old hands. • I was paralyzed from the waist down. I would try to move my leg or even shift an ankle but I never got a response. This was the first time thoughts of death ever cross my mind. • I almost didn't live through September 11 th, 2001. • The spaghetti burbled and slushed around the pan, and as I stirred it, the noises it gave off began to sound increasingly like bodily functions. • I have been surfing Lake Michigan since I was 3 years old. • I stand on the riverbank surveying this rippled range like some riparian cowboy -instead of chaps, I wear vinyl, thigh-high waders and a lasso of measuring tape and twine is slung over my arm. • I had never seen anyone get so excited about mitochondria.

Comparisons • Metaphors / extended metaphors – “Surviving childhood with 4 brothers required intimate knowledge of the art of war. I had to use evasive tactical maneuvering to avoid jump scares and atomic wedgies. ” (comparison b/t growing up with 4 brothers and surviving warfare) • Similes – “Growing up in a house with four brothers was like living in a warzone. ”

Dialog • Depending on your story, dialog can be a great way to “bring your reader into your story. ” It can add richness and authenticity b/c it shows what was happening in the moment. I could see his discomfort and pain as he struggled to find the words to say whatever he was trying to tell me. Finally, with tears streaming down his cheeks he said, “I love you more than you will ever know, but I have to tell you something now that your old enough to understand: I am not your biological father. ”

Building Suspense Building suspense is part of keeping your reader “hooked. ” “My heart was racing. I was beginning to break into a cold sweat. This was a moment I knew could make or break all the plans I had for my future. ” This leaves the reader reading on to see what happened.

Humor / Satire Humor can help keep your reader engaged and allow them to slow down to enjoy your essay, but you have to proceed with caution. Sarcasm can work well…. And it can be totally offensive. Just be careful and consider your audience. Using humor in a serious moment can be effective, typically with less chance of offense to the reader. If you aren’t naturally funny, this is not time for a test drive. Here is a resource if you are thinking about adding humor: http: //www. writersdigest. com/online-editor/how-to-mix-humor-into-your-writing