Y 9 Language Detectives Investigating how language works

Y 9 Language Detectives Investigating how language works: word choices: descriptive verbs

How do writers choose verbs for descriptive impact in fiction? • • • Smoke was rising. A flash of fire appeared. The smoke thickened. Small flames stirred at the trunk of a tree, dividing and increasing. The smoke increased, sifted, rolled outwards. The fire laid hold on the forest and began to gnaw. Acres of black and yellow smoke rolled steadily towards the sea. The flames crept toward a line of birch-like saplings. They flapped at the first of the trees and then went swinging and flaring along the whole row of them. A mile square of forest was savage with smoke and flame.

Smoke was rising here and there among the creepers that festooned the dead or dying trees. As they watched, a flash of fire appeared at the root of one wisp, and then the smoke thickened. Small flames stirred at the trunk of a tree and crawled away through leaves and brushwood, dividing and increasing. One patch touched a tree trunk and scrambled up like a bright squirrel. The smoke increased, sifted, rolled outwards. The squirrel leapt on the wings of the wind and clung to another standing tree, eating downwards. Beneath the dark canopy of leaves and smoke the fire laid hold on the forest and began to gnaw. Acres of black and yellow smoke rolled steadily toward the sea. At the sight of the flames and the irresistible course of the fire, the boys broke into shrill, excited cheering. The flames, as though they were a kind of wild life, crept as a jaguar creeps on its belly toward a line of birch-like saplings that fledged an outcrop of the pink rock. They flapped at the first of the trees, and the branches grew a brief foliage of fire. The heart of flame leapt nimbly across the gap between the trees and then went swinging and flaring along the whole row of them. Beneath the capering boys a quarter of a mile square of forest was savage with smoke and flame. The separate noises of the fire merged into a drum-roll that seemed to shake the mountain. From Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Smoke was rising here and there among the creepers that festooned the dead or dying trees. As they watched, a flash of fire appeared at the root of one wisp, and then the smoke thickened. Small flames stirred at the trunk of a tree and crawled away through leaves and brushwood, dividing and increasing. One patch touched a tree trunk and scrambled up like a bright squirrel. The smoke increased, sifted, rolled outwards. The squirrel leapt on the wings of the wind and clung to another standing tree, eating downwards. Beneath the dark canopy of leaves and smoke the fire laid hold on the forest and began to gnaw. Acres of black and yellow smoke rolled steadily toward the sea. At the sight of the flames and the irresistible course of the fire, the boys broke into shrill, excited cheering. The flames, as though they were a kind of wild life, crept as a jaguar creeps on its belly toward a line of birch-like saplings that fledged an outcrop of the pink rock. They flapped at the first of the trees, and the branches grew a brief foliage of fire. The heart of flame leapt nimbly across the gap between the trees and then went swinging and flaring along the whole row of them. Beneath the capering boys a quarter of a mile square of forest was savage with smoke and flame. The separate noises of the fire merged into a drum-roll that seemed to shake the mountain. From Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Terminology check: verbs Flames flapped at the first of the trees. The smoke thickened. • Finite verbs are important because they make a clause complete or ‘finished’. • Finite verbs can change from past to present tense. • In a verb string, the finite verb is always the first one: Smoke was rising.

Terminology check: verbs • Small flames stirred at the trunk of a tree, dividing and increasing. • Finite verbs are important because they make a clause complete or ‘finished’ – they make a main clause • Non-finite verbs add important descriptive detail in a subordinate clause. This detail can be moved to different places in a sentence, for slightly different emphasis: • Dividing and increasing, small flames stirred at the trunk of a tree. • Small flames stirred, dividing, increasing, and beginning to gnaw at the trees.

Why is this not a sentence? • Smoke rising among the creepers, flames leaping from the trees. Decide if these statements are true or false: • If the comma was replaced with a full stop, then there would be two sentences. • Neither of the verbs is a finite verb, so this is not a complete or ‘finished’ sentence.

How do writers choose verbs for descriptive impact in fiction? Write a paragraph that shows your reader the intense heat of the fire and how quickly it spreads. Make the verbs do most of the work. Begin by listing a variety of finite and non-finite verbs that you know you can use in a variety of ways. Here are some to start you off: crackled to shoot raged bursting thickening rose

How do writers choose verbs for descriptive impact in fiction? Out of control now, flames shot into the sky, billowing upwards in a frenzy. Driven back by the intense heat, the firefighters retreated to safer ground. As if it were a crazed thing, the furnace hissed, crackled and spat, devouring bushes and trees and spewing out black clouds of smoke. Unchecked, unstoppable, it raced towards the horizon.