Y 9 Language Detectives Investigating how language works

Y 9 Language Detectives Investigating how language works: sentence variety

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How can writers vary the length and structure of sentences to create specific effects? Minor sentence /sentence fragment: a single word or a group of words without a verb Crumbling plaster. Smashed floorboards. A room full of echoes. Cold as death. Can capture a quick snapshot of the scene and speed up the reading pace to build tension. Single-clause sentence with only one finite verb The room smelt of rusty nails and wet cardboard. Holes were punched in the wall, as if by a giant fist. Can focus the reader’s attention on one important detail at a time. A series of short one-clause sentences can speed pace and build tension or excitement.

How can writers vary the length and structure of sentences to create specific effects? Multi-clause sentences A light flex snaked from the ceiling, swinging like a mad thing in the cold wind, while plaster flaked from the walls. Window frames, that had been twisted into distorted shapes, gaped open like the sockets of gouged-out eyes. Can add layers of detail and suggest time relations: different things happening at the same time, or things that have happened previously. Try changing the subordinate clause to a different place in the sentence, for emphasis: Swinging like a mad thing in the cold wind, a light flex snaked from the ceiling.

Try it out Minor sentence (sentence fragment): a single word or a group of words without a verb. Crumbling floorboards. Cold as death. Capture a quick snapshot of the scene and build tension. 5

Try it out Single-clause sentence with only one finite verb The room smelt of rusty nails and wet cardboard. Holes were punched in the wall, as if by a giant fist. Focus attention on one important detail at a time. Speed up the pace and build tension. 6

Try it out Multi-clause sentences A light flex snaked from the ceiling, swinging like a mad thing in the cold wind, while plaster flaked from the walls. Window frames, that had been twisted into distorted shapes, gaped open like the sockets of gouged-out eyes. Add layers of detail and suggest time relations: different things happening at the same time, or things that have happened previously. 7

TASK: Your aim is to write the opening paragraph of a short story in the horror genre, setting the scene with a description of this room and creating ‘the chill factor’ for your reader. Review the sentences you’ve written and choose the ones you think will work best; rework them to create the effect you want. If you can, try two deliberately different versions of the opening. 8