Y 9 Imaginative writing unit Name 1 Big

Y 9 - Imaginative writing unit Name: 1

Big questions: Grammar – sentence structures 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. What is a subject? What is a verb? What is a simple sentence? What is a conjunction? What is a compound sentence? What is the difference between an independent and dependent clause? What is a complex sentence? What is a subordinating connective? What is a compound-complex sentence? Imaginative writing: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. How do we define the mood in a literary text? How does a writer establish a particular mood? How can I use language to create a particular mood or atmosphere? How can I vary my sentences to further engage my reader? How do writers create more complex narratives? How do writers create coherence whilst shifting a particular mood or atmosphere? Techniques: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. What are adjectives? What is sensory language? What is a simile? What is metaphor? What is personification? What is a list? What is repetition? What is the purpose of a dash? What is a coherent piece of writing? What is a verbal bridge? What is ellipsis? What is the purpose of a colon? What is the purpose of a semi-colon? 2

Your task: to produce a descriptive piece that conveys a shift in mood / atmosphere Success criteria: ü The form is clearly descriptive ü The piece conveys a shift in mood / atmosphere ü A range of stylistic devices are used to include adjectives, sensory language, simile, metaphor, personification ü A wide vocabulary is used with most words spelt correctly ü A range of sentence structures is employed to include simple, compound, complex, compound-complex, listing, sentences with prepositional and –ed starts, repetitive and parallel structures ü Commas are used in lists correctly and within complex sentences correctly ü Dashes are used for effect 3

Lesson 1: What is a simple sentence? What is mood when thinking about literary texts? Do it now task: recap questions 1. What is a symbol? 2. What is pathetic fallacy? 3. What is foreshadowing? 4. What is the difference between a dynamic character and a static character? 5. What is the difference between a protagonist and an antagonist? Do it now task (2): What is a simple sentence? A simple sentence is a sentence that has one independent clause (makes complete sense). It has a single subject and a single verb. For example, Ralph looked away. Ralph is the subject in this sentence. The verb is looked. The predicate (the part of a sentence or clause containing a verb) is looked away. TASK: Look at the following simple sentences. For each one can you identify the subject and the verb. Ralph heard the party. Subject: Verb: The rock stretched to the lagoon. Subject: A fire burned on the rock. Subject: Verb: 4

Piggy held food in his hands. Subject: Jack talked to the group of boys. Subject: Ralph looked away. Subject: Verb: Sam put down his gnawed bone. Subject: Ralph pointed to a palm tree. Subject: Piggy tried whistling. Subject: Verb: Jack stood up. Subject: Verb: New knowledge: what is meant by mood when applied to fiction? The mood of a piece is the general atmosphere created that works to evoke a range of feelings in a reader. Here is a starting list of mood adjectives. These might come in use later on: Anxious Calm Cheerful Depressing Eerie Festive Foreboding Frightening Frustrated Hopeless Humorous Idyllic Joyful Light-hearted Lonely Melancholic Ominous Optimistic Panicked Peaceful Pensive Pessimistic Reflective Restless Romantic Sad Sentimental Stressed Tense Uneasy 5

Pen to paper: identifying the mood of a piece Look at the following four short extracts from literary texts. For each text consider: a. How you would define the mood of the piece b. What aspects of the extract helped you to identify a particular mood? Extract A: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else. Extract B: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte There was no moon, and everything beneath lay in misty darkness: not a light gleamed from any house, far or near all had been extinguished long ago: and those at Wuthering Heights were never visible…’ Extract C: Heart of Darkness by Joesph Conrad Now I had suddenly a nearer view, and its first result was to make me throw my head back as if before a blow…I went carefully from post to post with my glass…These round knobs were not ornamental…they were expressive and puzzling, striking and disturbing – food for thought and also for vultures…. They would have been even more impressive, those heads on the stakes, if their faces had not been turned to the house. Only one, the first I had made out, was facing my way. How would you define the mood of the piece? What aspects of the extract helped you to identify a particular mood? 6

Extract D: Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens How would you define the mood of the piece? The river, reflecting the clear blue of the sky, glistened and sparkled as it flowed noiselessly on. What aspects of the extract helped you to identify a particular mood? Challenge: the mood of a piece can be created when a writer…. Reflection: creating mood Look at the following image. Write 2 -3 sentences in which you describe this setting. However, do so with the intention of creating a particular mood. Use the mood adjectives to help you determine what mood you wish to create. _______________________________________________________ 7

Lesson 2: What is a compound sentence? How does a writer establish a particular mood? Do it now task 1. What is a simple sentence? 2. What is the subject of a sentence? 3. What is a verb? 4. What is the mood of a literary text? 5. List four mood adjectives. Do it now task (2): what is a compound sentence? A compound sentence is a sentence that contains two compound sentences (and therefore two subjects and two verbs) linked together by a conjunction (and, but, so). For example, Ralph looked away and Piggy laughed. Ralph looked away: 1 st simple sentence Piggy laughed: 2 nd simple sentence And links to the two Subjects: Ralph, Piggy Verbs: looked, laughed Conjunction: and TASK: For each compound sentence on the next page, can you identify the two subjects and the two verbs and the conjunction that links them? 1. Ralph heard the party and Piggy walked towards it. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 8

2. The rock stretched to the lagoon and the waves splashed on. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 3. A fire burned on the rock but Piggy sat motionless. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 4. Piggy held food in his hands but Jack wasn’t hungry. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 5. Jack talked to the group of boys and they all laughed. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 6. Ralph looked away so Piggy left. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 7. Sam sighed and put down his gnawed bone. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 8. Ralph pointed to a palm tree but Simon lacked interest. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 9. Piggy tried whistling and laughed. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: 10. Jack stood up so the boys stopped talking. Subjects: Verbs: Conjunction: New knowledge: Stormcatchers by. Tim Bowler / Pen to paper: how does a writer establish a particular mood? In today’s lesson we are going to look at the opening to a novel called ‘Stormcatchers’ by Tim Bowler. The opening to this novel is superb and really creates a very evocative atmosphere. Let’s read the extract together: 9

Mood The sound came again, cutting through the night: a sharp, metallic tap that carried even to the first floor of the house where Sam lay sleeping. Ella stood over him and listened for it again but all she heard was rain spattering against the window. There was a storm coming – a fine start to the summer holidays – but that wasn’t the problem. How has the mood been established? The problem was being along in the house at ten o’clock at night looking after Sam. She wished now that Fin hadn’t slipped out to see Billy but it was her own fault: she’d insisted he go, telling him Mum and Dad would never know as long as he was back before they returned from the pub. But that could be ages. Billy’s parents had gone with them, which meant Mum and Mrs Meade would be yakking non-stop and Mr Meade would be trying to talk Dad into buying a new car from his showroom or joining the Save-the-Lighthouse project. They wouldn’t leave the pub before eleven and Fin would take his time, especially as she’s promised him she was all right. But she wasn’t all right. She was terrified. The sound came again, downstairs. She crept to the door. At least she hadn’t undressed for bed. She’d been thinking of it but she was still in the jeans, T-shirt, and trainers she’d slopped around in all day, and now she was glad of it. It made her feel less vulnerable – though only a little. She glanced at Sam. He looked so peaceful as he slept. She didn’t remember sleeping like that when she was three and now, at thirteen, she hardly slept at all. She was scared of the dark, scared of the noises she heard in this ancient house, and now, after Mr Fenner’s lecture in assembly about the need to be vigilant with strangers, she was even scared someone was stalking her round the village, though she knew that must be ridiculous. Tap! The sound came again. She knew she ought to go down and investigate. Fin would. He might be small for fifteen but he’d go straight down and look the thing in the face. She made herself walk to the head of the stairs. Below her, the hall stretched away in eerie stillness. The lights were on but the house felt oppressive. 10

Mood There’s nothing wrong, she told herself, and started to walk down the stairs. It’s just a storm coming. But it was no use. Polvellan was a house that had always frightened her even though she’d lived here all her life. It wasn’t just that it was such an old building. There was something else, something she didn’t understand; she felt uneasy here even when the others were around. How has the mood been established? Tap! The sound snapped in the night again. She opened her mouth to call out and ask if anyone were there, then closed it again. If somebody were in the house, the last thing she should do was give herself away. She thought of Sam and wondered whether to go back and guard him. No, check the downstairs rooms first. Make yourself do it. Then go back to Sam. She tiptoed to the foot of the stairs and looked about her. On the wall nearby was the photograph of Dad at the opening of his Newquay superstore. Next to it were the sketches he had made of the Pengrig lighthouse ten years ago before the cliff-fails made it an endangered building. She ran her eye nervously over them, then scanned the hall as far as the front door. Tap! She gave a start and looked to the left. The noise had come from the sitting room. There was no doubt about it. She stared at the door; it was ajar and the lights inside the room were switched off. She reached for the telephone Ring Billy. Get him to send Fin home. But she drew her hand back. She had to master this. She had to check the noise out for herself. It was bound to be something simple. She walked to the sitting room door and gave it a push. It brushed over the carpet a few inches and stopped. She stared through the gap, then took a deep breath, pushed the door a little further, and craned her head round. The old room looked dusky but reassuringly familiar. Behind the drawn curtains she could hear the rain lashing against the window; but at least there was no one here. She pushed the door fully open and switched on the light. The features of the room sprang into focus: the piano, the fireplace, the armchairs, the sofa, the music stand with her flute beside it. She walked into the room. 11

Mood Tap! She jumped. It was the window. Someone must be out there, hidden by the curtains. She hurried to the phone, picked it up and started to dial 999; then put it down. This was stupid. The tap wasn’t regular. It might not be a person at all, it might be something trivial. What would Dad say if she called the police out for nothing? She strode to the window, pulled back the curtain, and burst out laughing. How has the mood been established? It was nothing after all. A chain from one of the hanging baskets had broken loose and gusts were throwing it up at the window so that every so often the metal ring at the end struck the glass. Tap! There it was again. She chuckled and reached out to close the curtain; then froze in horror. Reflected in the glass was a figure standing behind her in the doorway. Reflection: In this extract, Tim Bowler has really captured a tense mood – one that is full of suspense. Reflecting upon your learning, think about the key language and structural devices Bowler used to create his tense and suspenseful atmosphere. Linguistic devices Structural devices 12

Lesson 3: What is a complex sentence? How does a writer establish a particular mood? Do it now task 1. What is a compound sentence? 2. What is a conjunction? 3. What is mood when referring to a fiction text? 4. Identify 2 linguistic techniques used to create tension / suspense in the Stormcatchers extract. 5. Identify 2 structural techniques used to create tension / suspense in the Stormcatchers extract. Do it now task (2): what is a complex sentence? A complex sentence is a sentence that contains two clauses: an independent clause (that makes sense by itself) and a dependent clause (which does not make sense by itself). For example, Ralph, who was terrified, looked away. Ralph looked away: independent clause who was terrified: dependent clause Notice: the dependent clause is surrounded by commas in this instance. TASK: For each of the complex sentences below, can you identify the independent clause and the dependent clause? 1. And in the middle of them, with filthy body, matted hair, and unwiped nose, Ralph wept for the end of innocence. Independent clause: 2. But the island, which was scorched up like dead wood, lay before him. Independent clause: Dependent clause: 13

3. They were in the beginnings of the thick forest, plonking with weary feet on a track, when they heard the noise. Independent clause: 4. They found a piglet, with it’s thin, needle-like voice, throwing itself at the elastic traces. Independent clause: 5. Jack’s face, which was white under the freckles, noticed the knife. Independent clause: 6. Sam thinking that Ralph had turned to him accusingly, put down his gnawed bone with a nervous giggle. Independent clause: 7. Ralph took an uncertain step, pointed to a palm tree, and whispered something inaudible to Piggy. Independent clause: 8. Piggy, who was desperately trying to whistle, strolled past. Independent clause: Dependent clause: Dependent clause: 9. They bumped Piggy, who was burnt, and yelled and danced. Independent clause: Dependent clause: 10. Ralph, united with the boys, stormed with laughter. Independent clause: Dependent clause: New knowledge / Pen to paper: establish a settings Last lesson we were exploring how a writer creates a particular mood or atmosphere. We are now going to focus in on a writer’s chosen setting and how a mood can be created through a description of a setting. Read through the extract, taken from The Lemon Orchard by Alex La Guma, on the next page and consider, in the first instance, details linked to setting. 1. Where is the action taking place? What details indicate this? 2. When is the action taking place? What details indicate this? 14

The men came down between two long, regular rows of trees. The winter had not passed completely and there was a chill in the air; and the moon was hidden behind long, high parallels of cloud which hung like suspended streamers of dirty cotton-wool in the sky. All of the men but one wore thick clothes against the coolness of the night. The night and earth was cold and damp, and the shoes of the men sank into the soil and left exact, ridged foot prints but they could not be seen in the dark. One of the men walked ahead holding a small cycle lantern that worked from a battery, leading the way down the avenue of trees while the others cam behind in the dark. The night close around was quiet now that the crickets had stopped their small noises, but far out others that did not feel the presence of the men continued the monotonous creek-creek. Somewhere, even further, a dog started barking in short high yaps, and then stopped abruptly. The men were walking through an orchard of lemons and the sharp, bitter-sweet citrus smell hung gently on the night air. Where is the action taking place? What details indicate this? When is the action taking place? What details indicate this? Pen to paper: creating evocative settings Last lesson we looked at how Tim Bowler created a particular mood / atmosphere by drawing on a range of structural and linguistic techniques. Now, look at the extract above. Consider how Alex La Guma has also managed to establish a really evocative setting using 1. Figurative language (simile, metaphor, personification) 2. Sensory language (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell) 3. Adjectives 4. How the men react to their environment Annotate your copy of the extract by identifying examples of the above within it. Challenge: consider the effect of these devices on the reader. 15

Pen to paper: the planning process We are now going to use what we have learnt over the past few lessons to construct our own evocative setting. In order to do this well, we need to plan carefully our response to this. Task 1: look at the picture below. Using the mood adjectives or your own idea, identify what mood or atmosphere you would like to create when describing this setting. The mood / atmosphere I would like to create is __________________ Task 2: think about how you are going to use language to create this atmosphere. Consider ü The adjectives you could use ü Any examples of figurative language (similes, metaphor, personification) ü How you could incorporate the senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell) ü How your character might respond to the environment Use the space below to record all of your ideas. 16

Reflection Looking at your planning sheet, reflect upon your choices. Which descriptive detail do you think best captures the mood and atmosphere you want to create through your setting? Explain why you think this detail works so successfully. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ Lesson 4: What is a complex sentence? Writing lesson 1 Do it now task 1. What is a complex sentence? 2. What is the difference between a simile and a metaphor? 3. What is personification? 4. What is sensory language? 5. How do character details enhance our understanding of a setting and the mood created? Do it now task (2): what is a complex sentence? A complex sentence is a sentence that contains two clauses: an independent clause (that makes sense by itself) and a dependent clause (which does not make sense by itself). Last lesson we looked at complex sentences where the dependent clause is dropped into the sentence and is surrounded by the independent clause. For example, Ralph, who was terrified, looked away. However, a complex sentence isn’t always necessarily constructed in the same way. A complex sentence can begin with a dependent clause 17

For example: Although spring was on the horizon, there was a chill in the air. If the complex sentence begins with a dependent clause, a comma is used to distinguish between the dependent clause and the independent clause. However, the dependent clause could also appear at the end of the sentence like the example below: There was a chill in the air although spring was on the horizon. In this instance, the subordinating connective links to the clauses and this, therefore means no comma is needed. A subordinating connective links the independent clause to the dependent clause. Examples of subordinating connectives include: After, although, as if, as long as, as much as, as soon as, as though, because, before, even if, even though, how, if, in as much as, in order that, lest, now that, provided, since, so that, than, that, though, till, unless, until, whenever, wherever, while. TASK: For each of the complex sentences below, can you identify a. The independent clause b. The dependent clause c. Whether the sentence begins with the independent clause or the dependent clause d. The subordinating conjuntion 1. Though he had taken off his school sweater, his grey shirt stuck to him. Independent clause: Does the sentence begin with the independent clause or the dependent clause? Subordinating connective: 2. He was clambering heavily among the creepers and broken trunks when a bid flashed upwards with a witch-like cry. Independent clause: Does the sentence begin with the independent clause or the dependent clause? Subordinating connective: 18

3. His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island. Independent clause: Does the sentence begin with the independent clause or the dependent clause? Subordinating connective: 4. Before the party had started, a great log had been dragged into the centre of the lawn. Independent clause: Does the sentence begin with the independent clause or the dependent clause? Subordinating connective: 5. While Roger mimed the terror of the pig, the littleuns ran and jumped on the outside of the circle. Independent clause: Does the sentence begin with the independent clause or the dependent clause? Subordinating connective: Revising prior knowledge: how do writers create mood and atmosphere when describing settings? Over the past few lessons we have been exploring how writers create mood and atmosphere when describing settings, particularly through the language choices they make. What have you learnt about how you can use language to create a particular mood or atmosphere? ____________________________________________________________________________ 19

Pen to paper: creating evocative settings with a focus on mood and atmosphere You are now going to have some free writing time to create your setting and, more particularly, your chosen mood / atmosphere. Success criteria: ü Use of adjectives ü Use of figurative language (simile or metaphor or personification) ü Use of sensory language (sight, sound, touch, taste, hear, smell) ü Use of character responses to the environment to amplify the mood of the setting ü Use of simple, compound and complex sentences ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ 20 ______________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ Reflection Re-read your setting and focus in on the mood / atmosphere created. How far have you incorporated the following into your descriptive piece? Have you got examples of each technique? What else might you need to incorporate? Success criteria: ü Use of adjectives ü Use of figurative language (simile or metaphor or personification) ü Use of sensory language (sight, sound, touch, taste, hear, smell) ü Use of character responses to the environment to amplify the mood of the setting ü Use of simple, compound and complex sentences 21

Lesson 5: What is a compound-complex sentence? How can I vary my sentence structures to engage my reader into my setting? Do it now task 1. What is a complex sentence? 2. What is an independent clause? 3. What is a dependent clause? 4. What is a subordinating connective? 5. What is a compound sentence? Do it now task (2): what is a compound-complex sentence? A compound-complex sentence is, at is suggests, is a combination of a compound sentence and a complex sentence. A compound-complex sentence has two or more independent clauses and one dependent clause. For example: Though he had taken off his school sweater and trailed it now from one hand, his grey shirt stuck to him and his hair was plastered to his forehead. Independent clause 1: his grey shirt stuck to him Independent clause 2: his hair was plastered to his forehead. Dependent clause: though he had taken off his school sweater Conjunctions: and TASK: For each of the complex sentences below, can you identify the two independent clauses and the dependent clause and the conjunctions used. 1. Before the party had started, a great log had been dragged into the center of the lawn and Jack, painted and garlanded, sat there like an idol. Independent clause 1: Independent clause 2: Dependent clause: Conjunction: 22

2. The littleuns screamed and blundered about, fleeing from the edge of the forest and one of them broke the ring of biguns in his terror. Independent clause 1: Independent clause 2: Dependent clause: Conjunction: 3. When the creepers shook, the flies exploded from the pig’s guts with a vicious note and clamped back on again. Independent clause 1: Independent clause 2: Dependent clause: Conjunction: 4. Then, each time the wind dropped, the lines would slacken and the figure bow forward again, sinking its head between its knees. Independent clause 1: Independent clause 2: Dependent clause: Conjunction: Challenge: look at the image below, can you construct a compound-complex sentence that describes an aspect of this image? Remember, your compound-complex sentences needs two independent clauses, one dependent clause and a compound structure that uses a conjunction to link. 23

New knowledge: how do writers vary their sentence structures? One way in which writers can draw their readers even further into the mood or atmosphere of their setting is through the variety of their sentence structures. Varying our sentence structures helps writers to keep their readers engaged and wanting to read on. Look at some of the different sentence structures Tim Bowler uses in his incredibly engaging opening to Stormcatchers. Variety of sentence structures Listing Simple sentence: Compound sentence: Complex sentence: Compound complex sentence: The sound came again, cutting through the night: a sharp, metallic tap…. Dashes Short sentence There was a storm coming – a fine start to the holidays – but that wasn’t the problem. But that could be ages. She stared through the gap, then took a deep breath, pushed the door a little further, and craned her head round. But she wasn’t all right. She was terrified. It made her feel less vulnerable – though only a little. The sound came again. But it was no use. Repetitive structures One word sentences She was scared of the dark, scared of the noises she heard in this ancient house, and now, after Mr Fenner’s lecture in assembly about the need to be vigilant with strangers, she was even scared someone was stalking her round the village. Tap! She had to master this. She had to check the noise out for herself. Prepositional start Ed start Behind the drawn curtains she could hear the rain lashing against the window, but at least there was no one here. Reflected in the glass was a figure standing behind her in the doorway. Pen to paper: how can I vary my sentence structures to further engage my reader into my setting and atmosphere? Now have a think about how you could also vary your sentence structures for your piece of descriptive writing to make it even more engaging. Use the chart on the next page to help you generate ideas. 24

Variety of sentence structures Listing Which sentence is my favourite sentence in my writing so far? Dashes Short sentence Repetitive structures One word sentences Prepositional start Ed start Reflection As you listen to other people share their sentences, jot down sentences that you really like the sound of – maybe you could use them in your writing later on. 25

Lesson 6: How do writers create more complex narratives with shifting moods and atmospheres? Do it now task 1. What is a compoundcomplex sentence? 2. Look at the picture below – use this as your stimulus. Can you construct an example sentence for each sentence type? Compound-complex Listing Short sentences One word sentence Dashes Repetitive structures Prepositional start Ed start New knowledge: how do writers create more complex narratives? So far we have been exploring how to create mood and atmosphere when describing a setting. However, the most skillful of writers will switch between moods and atmospheres to create interest in a narrative. Let’s look at an example of this in action. Here is an extract from David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. Mood created I now approach an event in my life, so indelible, so awful, so bound by an infinite variety of ties to all that has preceded it, in these pages, that, from the beginning of my narrative, I have seen it growing larger and larger as I advanced, like a great tower in a plain, and throwing its fore-cast shadow even on the incidents of my childish days. For years after it occurred, I dreamed of it often. I have started up so vividly impressed by it, that its fury has yet seemed raging in my quiet room, in the still night. I dream of it sometimes, though at lengthened and uncertain intervals, to this hour. I have an association between it and a stormy wind, or the lightest mention of a sea-shore, as 26 strong as any of which my mind is conscious. As plainly as I

Mood created behold what happened, I will try to write it down. I do not recall it, but see it done; for it happens again before me. The time drawing on rapidly for the sailing of the emigrantship, my good old nurse (almost broken-hearted for me, when we first met) came up to London. I was constantly with her, and her brother, and the Micawbers (they being very much together); but Emily I never saw. One evening when the time was close at hand, I was alone with Peggotty and her brother. Our conversation turned on Ham. She described to us how tenderly he had taken leave of her, and how manfully and quietly he had borne himself. Most of all, late, when she believed he was more tried. It was a subject of which the affectionate creature never tired; and our interest in hearing the many examples which she, who was so much with him, had to relate, was equal to hers in relating them. My aunt and I were at that time vacating the two cottages at Highgate; I intending to go abroad and she to return to her house at Dover. We had a temporary lodging in Covent Garden. As I walked home to it, after this evening’s conversation, reflecting on what had passed between Ham and myself when I was last at Yarmouth, I wavered in the original purpose I had formed, of leaving a letter for Emily when I should take leave of her uncle on board the ship, and thought it would be better to write to her now. She might desire, I thought after receiving my communication, to send some parting word by me to her unhappy lover. I ought to give her the opportunity. I therefore sat down in my room, before going to bed, and wrote to her. I told her that I had seen him, and that he had requested me to tell her what I have already written in its place in these sheets. I faithfully repeated it. I had no need to enlarge upon it, if I had the right. Its deep fidelity and goodness were not to be adorned by me or any man. I left it out, to be sent round in the morning; with a line to Mr Peggotty, requesting him to give it to her; and went to bed at daybreak. 27

Pen to paper: how might I move the mood / atmosphere in my writing from positive to negative or vice versa? In the extract from David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, the narrator begins in the moment – the present day - before recalling a memory. There is a clear shift in the mood created between the present (more negative in mood) and the beginning of the memory (more positive in mood). Let’s see if we can replicate this in our own writing. Think about the image we have been working with. Mood in the present (positive) Mood in the past (negative) Mood in the present (negative) Mood in the past (positive) If the mood / atmosphere you created for your setting was positive initially, how might a memory present the setting in a more negative way? If the mood / atmosphere you created for your setting was negative initially, how might a memory present the setting in a more positive way? 28

Pen to paper: how could I use language to recreate this setting with a different tone? Let’s now think about the details we could incorporate that would help us to present this shift in mood or atmosphere as we go back into the past. Adjectives Simile Personification Character response to the environment Reflection Metaphor Sensory language Simple, compound, complex sentences Variety of sentence structures As you listen to other people share their descriptive details, jot down any words or phrases that you really like the sound of – maybe you could use them in your writing later on. 29

Lesson 7: How do writers create coherence whilst shifting a particular mood or atmosphere? Do it now task Look at the following sentences. Can you identify whether a sentence is an examples of a. A simple sentence b. A compound sentence c. A complex sentence d. A compound-complex sentence e. A sentence with a prepositional start He called softly, as if the darkness demanded silence. The lantern-light swung on him and he looked away from the centre of the beam. In the dark this man’s face was invisible except for a blur of shadowed hollows and lighter crags. Somewhere, even further, a dog started barking in short high yaps, and then stopped abruptly. He was afraid but his fear was mixed with a stubbornness. The shotgun was loaded. This man wore trousers and a raincoat which they had allowed him to pull on over his pyjamas when they had taken him from his lodgings, and he shivered now with chill, clenching his teeth to prevent them from chattering. Although he walked in the rear, he was the leader of the party. New knowledge: how do writers create coherence whilst shifting a particular mood or atmosphere? Previously we read an extract from The Lemon Orchard by Alex La Guma. In the extract, we explored how the setting had been used to create a particular mood or atmosphere at the start of the story. Later on this mood / atmosphere has subtly shifted but Alex La Guma has worked as a writer to ensure a level of coherence in his writing. Definitions Coherence: coherence is a state or situation in which all the parts of ideas fit together well so that they form a united whole. Why might we describe a piece of writing as coherent? ____________________________________________________________________________ Verbal bridge: a verbal bridge is where, for example, key words can be repeated in several sentences / paragraphs or where synonymous words can be repeated in several sentences or paragraphs. Why might using verbal bridges help to create coherence across a text? ____________________________________________________________________________ 30

New knowledge: how do writers create coherence whilst shifting a particular mood or atmosphere? Look at two paragraphs taken from The Lemon Orchard by Alex La Guma. 1. What examples of verbal bridges can you find? 2. Despite the usage of verbal bridges, what sense do you get that the mood / atmosphere has shifted slightly in the second paragraph? Paragraph 1 Paragraph 2 The men came down between two long, regular rows of trees. The winter had not passed completely and there was a chill in the air; and the moon was hidden behind long, high parallels of cloud which hung like suspended streamers of dirty cotton-wool in the sky. All of the men but one wore thick clothes against the coolness of the night. The night and earth was cold and damp, and the shoes of the men sank into the soil and left exact, ridged foot prints but they could not be seen in the dark. The blackness of the night crouched over the orchard and the leaves rustled with a harsh whispering that was inconsistent with the pleasant scent of the lemons. The chill in the air had increased, and far off the creek-creek of the crickets blended into solid strips of high-pitched sound. Then the moon came from behind the banks of cloud and its white light touched the leaves with wet silver, and the perfume of lemons seemed to grow stronger, as if the juice was being crushed from them. One of the men walked ahead holding a small cycle lantern that worked from a battery, leading the way down the avenue of trees while the others cam behind in the dark. The night close around was quiet now that the crickets had stopped their small noises, but far out others that did not feel the presence of the men continued the monotonous creek-creek. Somewhere, even further, a dog started barking in short high yaps, and then stopped abruptly. The men were walking through an orchard of lemons and the sharp, bitter-sweet citrus smell hung gently on the night air. They walked a little way further in the moonlight and the man with the lantern said, ‘This is as good a place as any, Gom. ’ They had come into a wide gap in the orchard, a small amphitheater surrounded by fragrant growth, and they all stopped within it. The moonlight clung for a while to the leaves and the angled branches, so that along their tips and edges the moisture gleamed with the quivering shine of scattered quicksilver. 1. What examples of verbal bridges can you find? 2. Despite the use of verbal bridges, what sense do you get that the mood / atmosphere has shifted slightly in the second paragraph? 31

Pen to paper: how could I use a technique like verbal bridges to convey a sense of place but how could I also show a shift in atmosphere and mood? Now let’s think about how we could apply what we have learnt to our own writing by considering a. the verbal bridges we could use in our own description to convey that our memory is set in the same place and then b. use subtle shifts to present a slightly different mood / atmosphere to our reader? Choose a minimum of three details from your original setting paragraph that you want to include in your memory. Looking back to the descriptive details you identified and the initial planning you did. Which of these details help to convey a slight shift / change in mood or atmosphere most well do you think? Reflection Next lesson, you will craft the paragraph about the memory you have of the place. Make sure you are clear on ü The memory ü The mood / atmosphere you wish to convey (and that this is a clear shift) ü The stylistic devices you are going to draw upon (adjectives, simile, metaphor, personification, character details, sensory language) ü The sentence structures you will employ (e. g. simple, compound, complex, compoundcomplex etc) ü The verbal bridges you will use ü The subtle shifts you will manage 32

Lesson 8: How do writers employ a range of punctuation for effect? Do it now Over the past few lessons we have been looking at creating beautiful sentences. Part of writing beautiful sentences is also thinking about how we can use punctuation in a beautiful and creative way. We have looked at comma usage – mainly when writing lists and using complex sentences and we have looked at dashes, especially when creating voice. Look at the following three setting examples and, for each one, consider how the punctuation used has been used for a particular effect. Extract One That Sunday, clouds spilled down from the sky and swamped the streets with a hot mist that made thermometers on the walls perspire. Halfway through the afternoon, the temperature was already grazing the nineties as I set off towards Calle Canuda for my appointment with Barceló, carrying the book under my arm and with beads of sweat on my forehead. . A grand stone staircase led up from a palatial courtyard to a ghostly network of passageways and reading rooms. . I glided up to the first floor, blessing the blades of a fan that swirled above the sleepy readers melting like ice cubes over their books. The use of ellipsis…. Extract Two The public-houses, with gas-lights burning inside, were already open. By degrees, other shops began to be unclosed, and a few scattered people were met with. Then, came straggling groups of labourers going to their work; then, men and women with fish-baskets on their heads; donkey-carts laden with vegetables; chaise-carts filled with livestock or whole carcasses of meat; milk-women with pails; an unbroken concourse of people trudging out with various supplies to the eastern suburbs of the town. As they approached the City, the noise and traffic gradually increased; when they threaded the streets between Shoreditch and Smithfield, it had swelled into a roar of sound and bustle. The use of semi-colon ; Extract Three The first spring of 1946, he had stumbled out of the darkness of war and into a Florentine coffee house, where he was served by a waitress truly like the sun: Ophelia Diagilo, dressed all in yellow, spreading warmth and the promise of sex as she passed him a frothy cappuccino. The use of a colon : Why has ellipsis been used within this descriptive paragraph of writing? What purpose does it serve? Why have semi-colons been used within this descriptive paragraph of writing? What purpose do they serve? Why has a colon been used within this descriptive paragraph of writing? What purpose does it serve? 33

Pen to paper: creating evocative settings with a focus on a shifting mood / atmosphere You are now going to have some free writing time to create your memory and, more importantly, a shift in mood / atmosphere Success criteria: ü A clear shift to a memory ü A clear shift in mood / atmosphere (highlighted through vocabulary and stylistic choices) ü A range of stylistic devices to create mood / atmosphere (adjectives, simile, metaphor, personification, character details, sensory language) ü A range of sentence structures (e. g. simple, compound, complex, compound-complex etc) ü Two examples of verbal bridges ü Use of two different punctuation marks from commas in complex sentences, dashes, ellipsis, semi-colon, colon You could use one of the following sentences to shift into your memory or create your own: q For years after it occurred, I dreamed of it often. q As I sat staring at the water, the memory of times gone by started to flood my senses. q Being here again…after all this time…felt so different, so strange, so surreal. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 34 ______________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ Reflection Re-read your setting and focus in on the mood / atmosphere created in this second part. How far have you incorporated the following into your descriptive piece? Have you got examples of each technique? What else might you need to incorporate? Success criteria: ü A clear shift to a memory ü A clear shift in mood / atmosphere (highlighted through vocabulary and stylistic choices) ü A range of stylistic devices to create mood / atmosphere (adjectives, simile, metaphor, personification, character details, sensory language) ü A range of sentence structures (e. g. simple, compound, complex, compound-complex etc) ü Two examples of verbal bridges ü Use of two different punctuation marks from commas in complex sentences, dashes, ellipsis, semi-colon, colon Finally, choose three adjectives to upgrade. 35