Writing to Build Business Relationships HERTZ FARM MANAGEMENT

Writing to Build Business Relationships HERTZ FARM MANAGEMENT, INC. June 21, 2017

Overview • use preferred business style (pp. ) • set the right tone (pp. 6– 7) • build credibility by avoiding common mistakes (pp. 8 -9)

Is this photo outrageous? President George W. Bush stands with members of the Northwestern University Women's Lacrosse team during Championship Day Tuesday, July 12, 2005, at the White House.

Why the flap over flip-flops? YOU WORE FLIP-FLOPS TO THE WHITE HOUSE? —athlete’s brother “It mortified me. ” —athlete’s mother “Nobody was wearing old beach flipflops. ” —athlete MISMATCH • Disrespect • Cluelessness • Faux-pas

Business uses professional register Situation Language Dress Official Legal Formal Business Professional Business Chat “Did you hear…? ” Jeans “Yo, Dude. ” Swimsuit, sunscreen Beach TONE: “somewhere between stuffed shirt and tee-shirt” —Dianna Booher

Would you use this tone? Hey, buddy. It’s that time of year again. I need your AGI numbers. We need to turn in some paperwork to keep Uncle Sam off our backs. I’ve stuck a copy onto this nag note. Shoot me a completed form CCC-941 ASAP, will ya? TONE: tee-shirt How would clients respond? What impression does this give of Hertz?

Avoid casual language • Slang • Put-downs • Contractions (it’s, can’t, would’ve) TIP Let Word find contractions for you. • Set Preferences to Writing Style: Formal • Search grammar preferences Word [version]

Would you use this tone? Esteemed client: Pursuant to our usual practice, it is once again incumbent upon us to complete and submit a form CCC-941, which is required by the USDA as proof of compliance with the farm program AGI requirements. TONE: stuffed shirt Should you wish to receive payments under this federal program, completion of this form is mandatory. What impression does this give of Hertz? How would clients respond?

Avoid “stuffed shirt” phrases • Enclosed please find Enclosed • Per your request …as requested • Under separate cover by UPS, in a follow-up email • Above-mentioned • Herewith TONE: stuffed shirt What impression does this give? • old-fashioned • out-dated • pretentious

Avoid “stuffed shirt” phrases • To whom it may concern If you can’t find a name, use a title: Dear Customer Service Manager or start with RE: • Feel free If you have questions, please contact • Very truly yours Sincerely TONE: stuffed shirt What impression does this give? • old-fashioned • out-dated • pretentious

Would you use this tone? Dear Jeff: I’m writing to remind you that your form CCC 941 is due next month. You must complete this form to qualify for the USDA farm program. A copy of the form is attached. Please complete it, sign it, and return it in the envelope provided. I’m available by phone or email if you have any questions. TONE: professional How would clients respond? What impression does this give of Hertz?

Preferred style: short and simple • Keep sentences short (15 words or fewer) • Use short words (three syllables or fewer) • Average 6 to 7 sentences per paragraph —U. S. Army Writing Guidelines Good writing transmits a clear message in a single, rapid reading and is generally free of errors in grammar, mechanics, and usage. TONE: professional What impression does this give? • straightforward • easy to read • considerate

Check yourself: Hemingwayapp. com

Dress codes can be vague. For business writing: 1. Follow a standard format. 2. Consider your reader. 3. Meet professional standards for clarity and correctness.

FORMAT: What’s the code for letters? HEADING [Your name and address] [Date] [Addressee’s name and address] OPENING RE: Proposal Dear Ms. Abrams: BODY Enclosed is our proposal to manage the Tri. States Ag Conference in 2017. CLOSING Sincerely, [Your name]

Break the code… This is an actual reply to an RFP. Purposal I can beat almost anyones price and almost promise you success and if I don’t reach it, we wont charge you after the time we say we can achieve it until we do.

Business letter format FORMAT Block style One page (preferred) Margins of at least 1 inch Adjust length so type is vertically balanced GREETING/ SIGNATURE If you’re replying, match the signature in your greeting If you’re writing to someone unfamiliar, better to be too formal than too informal

How formal do I need to be? DISTANCE? RANK? INSIDER/ OUTSIDER? OFFICIAL DOCUMENT? Check: Write. Betterat. Work. com/Quizzes How formal should my email be?

How formal do I need to be? DISTANCE? x RANK? INSIDER/ OUTSIDER? OFFICIAL DOCUMENT? long-term client x x x prefers to be addressed by title outside company routine correspondence

Follow the code to • Look professional • Represent the company • Simplify life

FORMAT: Email OPENING TO: CC: SUBJECT : BODY Do use a greeting Anyone who needs to take action Anyone who needs to be informed 75% of emails are irrelevant, making being cc’d too often a top email pet peeve Make your subject line specific: Change of plans vs. Benefits meeting moved to Tuesday, 10 AM If more than 3 screens, send letter To share detailed information, use attachments SIGNATURE If you’re replying, match formality of signature Better to be too formal than too informal

New topic? Change subject To: Bill From: Hayden Re: New AGI guidelines (WAS: Budget numbers needed by Friday noon) Date: 1 July 2017 Thanks for sending the new AGI guidelines, Bill. I’ll use them to figure the new budget.

Design for easy reading Subject: Noise level in the break rooms Many of you have told me about the growing tension you feel around using the break rooms. How can we satisfy everyone? Some of you use them to work and socialize; others need a quiet place to work. Your ideas are welcome What do you think we can do about this? Dumaine, Write to the Top

Design for easy reading To: All staff From: H. Honcho Re: Reminder about summer dress code Date: 1 July 2017 Our summer dress code is business casual: clothes that are both comfortable and professional. Men khaki pants leather shoes Women pants or shoes leather or fabric shoes

Send an email? q Share confidential salary information q Deal with a personal hygiene issue q Get an immediate reply q Settle a conflict between two team members q Recap a conversation about a pending order q Set up a meeting next month q Keep people updated on a project’s status

Send an email? q Share confidential salary information q Deal with a personal hygiene issue q Get an immediate reply q Settle a conflict between two team members § Recap a conversation about a pending order § Set up a meeting next month § Keep people updated on a project’s status

When NOT to email q When the subject is sensitive or confidential q When it takes more than three emails to resolve a situation q When you provoke an unexpected response

EMAIL: CONFLICT SPIRAL • No inhibitory feedback • Few cues to tone —Neutral language perceived as cool —Mild annoyance perceived as anger —Humor often misinterpreted

When you write • Use a template format. • Collect the information you’ll need. • Write with a specific person in mind. When writing Berkshire Hathaway's annual report, I pretend that I'm talking to my sisters. I have no trouble picturing them. Though highly intelligent, they are not experts in accounting or finance. They understand plain English, but jargon may puzzle them. No siblings to write to? Borrow mine. Just begin “Dear Doris and Bertie. ”

Who are you writing to? Dear Doris and Bertie: Intelligent Not experts in finance or accounting Understand plain English Receptive to Warren’s ideas Dear client:

How can you serve your client? • Write first. • Then revise from your reader’s point of view. • Does this clearly state what my client needs to know or do after reading this? • Does this answer questions my client is likely to have? • Have I communicated the value Hertz brings to my client?

Does this consider the client? Dear Jeff: I’m writing to remind you that your form CCC 941 is due next month. You must complete this form to qualify for the USDA farm program. A copy of the form is attached. Please complete it, sign it, and return it in the envelope provided. Feel free to call or email me with any questions. ü States what the client needs to know or do ü Answers likely questions ü Affirms value of working with Hertz

Summary of Hertz writing style Good writing transmits a clear, professional message that gives clients a consistent experience of working with Hertz. Our writing style can be understood in a single, rapid reading and is generally free of errors.

Summary of Hertz writing style Good writing transmits a clear, _______ message that gives clients a ________ experience of working with Hertz. Our writing style can be understood in a _______, rapid reading and is generally free of _______.

How can you meet our standard? One-Stage Writing

How long does it take to write a memo? Planning ____ minutes Drafting ____ minutes Revising ____ minutes

How long does it take to write a memo? Planning 25 minutes Drafting 5 minutes Revising 25 minutes

◦ Key to two-stage writing STAGE 1 • Planning • Drafting writer-centered BREAK STAGE 2 • Revising client-centered

“I told the client…” ◦Esteemed client: Pursuant to our usual practice, it is once again incumbent upon us to complete and submit a form CCC-941, which is required by the USDA as proof of compliance with the farm program AGI requirements. Should you wish to receive payments under this federal program, completion of this form is mandatory. ü Where will this go on the client’s to-do list?

“I considered the client…” ◦Dear Jeff: I’m writing to remind you that your form CCC 941 is due next month. You must complete this form to qualify for the USDA farm program. A copy of the form is attached. Please complete it, sign it, and return it in the envelope provided. Feel free to call or email me with any questions. ü Where will this go on the client’s to-do list? ü How will this build your relationship?

How long does it take to write a memo? Planning 25 minutes Drafting 5 minutes Revising 25 minutes

Revising ◦ü Can I tell right away what I need to know or do after reading this? ü Can I understand this on the first reading? ü Is important information easy to find (bullets, subheads, etc. ) ü Can I find answers to my questions? ü Who do I contact if I need help?

The Iron Imperative ◦Do not waste the reader’s time. The Golden Corollary: Treat the reader’s time as more valuable than your own. The Impatience Postulate: Assume that your reader is quite impatient and has other things to do.

Proofreading ◦ We see what we expect to see.

Proofreading ◦

Proofreading ◦ • Use spellcheck • But don’t trust it completely • Beware of copy-and-paste • Proof for one thing at a time • Read aloud or backwards • Check for common mistakes

Spellcheck fails ◦Dear Ms. Munzenmaier, I defanutly learned something in this course.

Spellcheck fails ◦A land trust conserves natural resources and so provvides a pubic benefit. ü Use spellcheck ü Reread, watching for homophones (whether, weather) and missing words. ü Spotcheck with Find/Replace.

Find-and-replace saves ◦How much could you save by reducing email overload? How many of the mass emails you’re organization sends are really necessary? Can employees trust that leaders’ emails will be clear and to the point? Would improving leaders’ writing skills reduce email fatigue?

Personal proofing checklist ◦Its vs. it’s Error: It’s important that every expense is assigned to it’s proper category. It’s = shortened form of It is Its = pronoun like his, hers, or theirs

Copy-and-paste proofing fails ◦Dear James, Attached is an update on the drainage project in progress on Happy Acres Farm. We learned that the initial contractor obtained a general storm water permit but not an individual permit for the project. The new contractor has requested an individual permit for the Shady Vales project from the DNR. ü Which project are we updating? ü Which typeface are we using?

Copy-and-paste proofing fails ◦Dear James, Attached is an update on the drainage project in progress on Happy Acres Farm. As you know, Harold, we value our relationship with every client. We are committed to helping you reach your unique. ü Who is the client? ü What’s missing?

Copy-and-paste proofing checklist ◦ü Check the details: who, what, when, where, why, and how ü Was anything added or lost during copy-and -paste? ü Are attachments actually attached? ü Does the document read smoothly or do you need to connect cut-and-pasted paragraphs?

Proofing strategy ◦ü Proof on two levels: ü document as a whole ü e. g. , is your header complete? ü does the document read smoothly? ü details ü e. g. , is the client’s name correct? ü are attachments attached?

Proofing strategy ◦Dear James, Attached is an update on the drainage project in progress on Happy Acres Farm. As you know, Harold, we value our relationship with every client. We are committed to helping you reach your unique. ü Highlight copied-andpasted paragraphs as you write. ü Remove highlights after you proof.

Which GUM errors matter? G = Grammar ü Maxine Hairston did (sentence structure, agreement) a study. U = Usage ü Ranked errors (verb forms, homophones) Outrageous M = Mechanics Very serious (spelling, capitalization, punctuation) Serious Moderately serious Minor Unimportant

Which GUM errors matter? Hairston found some status-marking errors: mistakes that make people judge those who make them as • ignorant • uneducated

Are these status-marking errors? 1. When Calhoun moved, he brung his secretary with him. ☐ Yes ☐ No 2. Jones don’t think it’s acceptable. ☐ Yes ☐ No 3. There has never been no one here like that woman. 4. Him and Richard were the last ones hired.

Are these status-marking errors? 1. When Calhoun moved, he brung his secretary with him. Yes ☐ No 2. Jones don’t think it’s acceptable. Yes ☐ No 3. There has never been no one here like that woman. 4. Him and Richard were the last ones hired.

Proofing for substandard usage errors • Spell check will catch errors like he brung and I don’t need no help with grammar • Errors with pronoun usage can be added to proofing checklist: e. g. , Avoid starting sentences with me, him, or them.

Are these serious errors? 1. He concentrated on his job he never took vacations. 2. The company raised its prices. In spite of administrative warnings. ☐ Yes ☐ No

Are these serious errors? 1. He concentrated on his job he never took vacations. 2. The company raised its prices. In spite of administrative warnings. Yes ☐ No

Proofing for run-ons and fragments • Read aloud as punctuated. Periods signal a full stop. At the end of a thought. Our voices drop and we. Pause. Run-ons blur separate ideas together every idea seems to have the same importance if you run out of breath you need to separate your ideas with end punctuation

What’s end punctuation? • Periods • Question marks • Exclamation points A comma separates ideas within a sentence; it isn’t strong enough to separate ideas.

Proofing for fragments • Use the frame test. A sentence will make sense if you put I know that… in front of it. • • I know that the company raised its prices. I know that in spite of administrative warnings. PASS FAIL

Test yourself: chomp. com

Proofing for runons • Use tag questions. A sentence will make sense if you turn it into a yes-no question. • • Your friend is going to sell his car, isn’t he? Your friend is going to sell his car for $400 he should sell it for $800 PASS FAIL Takes 2 questions

Test yourself: chomp. com

Proofing for run-ons and fragments • Use the frame test. A sentence will make sense if you put I know that… in front of it. • • I know that the company raised its prices. I know that in spite of administrative warnings. PASS FAIL

Do you use the grocer’s apostrophe? Apostrophes are not needed to form plurals. Reflexive Apostrophe Disorder: compulsively inserting an apostrophe before every -s NO DRINK’S ALLOWED IN SHOP THANK’S

Do you accidentally clone people? You can show possession by using a word like belong or own or of or by ’. The donut belonging to Vince =Vince’s donut The hot sports car owned by Sylvia = Sylvia’s car The home of the Watsons=The Watsons’ home KIMS’ AGILE FINGERS TYPED QUICKLY.

Do you call your neighbors dogs? A posting on Nextdoor. com reported finding a dog loose in the neighborhood. The subject heading: Anyone know who’s dog? For a quick review and quizzes, see Grammar Bytes at chomp. com

If you think an apostrophe was one of the 12 disciples of Jesus, you will never work for me. ” —Kyle Wiens, Ifixit “

“On the face of it, my zero tolerance approach to grammar errors might seem a little unfair. After all, grammar has nothing to do with job performance, or creativity, or intelligence, right? “Wrong. If it takes someone more than 20 years to notice how to properly use ‘it’s, ’ then that’s not a learning curve I’m comfortable with. ” —Kyle Wiens, Ifixit

chomp. com • • • Terms Tips and rules Interactive quizzes Videos Daily grammar workout on Twitter

GB daily grammar workout

GB daily grammar workout answer

Resource: Writer’s Diet

Resource: Writer’s Diet advice

Resource: Hemingwayapp. com

Resource: Hemingwayapp. com

“For better or worse, people judge you if you can’t tell the difference between their, there, and they’re. ” —Kyle Wiens, Ifixit

Good writing transmits a clear, professional message that gives clients a consistent experience of working with Hertz. Our writing style can be understood in a single, rapid reading and is generally free of errors.

Recommended resources • Grammar Girl http: //www. quickanddirtytips. com/grammar-girl • Gregg Reference Manual • Notorious Confusables (Darling) http: //grammar. ccc. commnet. edu/grammar/notorious. htm • “How to Proofread Effectively” https: //www. thoughtco. com/top-proofreading-tips-1691277

CASE STUDY From: David Manager To: Betty Colleague Re: Routine request Betty, hi, I haven’t been successful in reaching you by phone so I’ll try email instead. Can you get me your budget numbers by Friday?

CASE STUDY From: Betty Colleague To: David Manager Re: Routine request To accuse me of ignoring your calls is unthinkable and INEXCUSABLE. As to the purpose of the insulting email that you sent me, I prefer not to respond, as I dislike dealing with anyone who assumes the worst of me!!!

Fan the flames • unfriendliness (demanding tone) • insults (name-calling) • hostility (unnecessary criticism) • intimidating language (threats) • offensive language (profane or prejudiced) • aggressive language (ALL CAPS)

Cool the flames • Create context. Q: Should I get advanced training? A: There is really no point in you getting advanced training. How should this be read? There is really no point in you getting advanced training. There is no point in getting advanced training if your main goal is to earn promotion. You already have all the qualifications you need to advance.

Cool the flames • Read aloud. § People interpret sarcasm correctly in emails 56 percent of the time. _____ § Read sarcastic comments seriously (and vice versa).