Writing MiniLesson Show Dont Tell Show Dont Tell

Writing Mini-Lesson Show, Don’t Tell!

Show, Don’t Tell! l. I could hardly wait until my mom came home from the hospital with the new baby. The baby was cute. l OR….

Show, Don’t Tell! l Melissa has big blue eyes, straight black hair, and soft skin. She has red cheeks, too. Her fingers and toes are tiny, and her clothes aren’t much bigger than an American Doll’s.

Show, Don’t Tell! l Please shut your eyes while I read this sentence to you: l Lisa was angry when she heard what the umpire said. l What does that look like?

Show, Don’t Tell! l Please shut your eyes again and listen to this sentence: l Shaking her head back and forth, Lisa pounded home plate with her fist after the umpire shouted, “You’re out!” l Now what picture do you have in your head?

Show, Don’t Tell l Strategies writers use to SHOW what is happening include: n describing the character’s actions rather than just saying how he or she feels. n using action verbs. n using similes and metaphors. n using dialogue. n Appealing to some of the five senses to paint a picture of what is happening.

Show, Don’t Tell l Why is showing better? Two reasons. First, it creates mental pictures for the reader. l Second, showing is interactive and participatory: it forces the reader to become involved in the story, deducing facts for himself or herself, rather than just taking information in passively.

Show, Don’t Tell l Instead of saying Molly is a wonderful person, say… l Molly is always there when anyone needs her. She's the first to arrive with a casserole when someone is sick, the first to send a note of encouragement to those who are troubled, the first to offer a hug to anyone -- man, woman or child -- at anytime.

Show, Don’t Tell l Telling: The girl cried a lot. Describe the picture that this sentence paints in your mind. n What words could we use instead of girl? What are more specific words that mean cry? n How else can we say a lot? n Showing: The teenager threw herself on her bed and sobbed into her pillow until she fell asleep.

Show, Don’t Tell l Telling: The boy was nervous. l Showing: With sweaty palms and wrinkles of worry, Juan stood in line paralyzed, waiting for his turn to recite his lines for the packed audience.

Show, Don’t Tell l Telling: He sits on the couch holding his guitar. l Showing: His eyes are closed, and he’s cradling the guitar in his arms like a lover. It’s as if he’s trying to hold on to something that wants to let go.

Show, Don’t Tell l Telling: The girls were excited. l Showing: Giggles and screams filled the arena. The soft curls were now damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event. They held tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves. Arms flailed upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here.

Show, Don’t Tell l Telling: The room was empty. l Showing: The door opened with a resounding echo that seemed to fill the house. Cobwebs once attached flowed freely in the air as the open door brought light to a well worn floor. The light gave notice to the peeling paint on the walls and to the silhouettes once covered by pictures. The new air gave life to a stuffiness that entrapped the room. Faded and torn white sheets covered once new furniture now drowning in dust.

Show, Don’t Tell l Telling: The food smelled good. l Showing: The aroma of grandmother’s chicken and dumplings flowed from the kitchen, tickled my nose, and teased my churning stomach. (Show --one sentence revision)

l Telling: The room was messy. l Showing: A Mount Everest of sweaty gym clothes camped out in the middle of Stacy’s room. On her dresser rested several short, fat, tall, thin, and cloudy glasses of water--her answer to midnight thirsts. Stacy’s bed. How would a neat freak describe the total anguish of Stacy’s bed? For that person, with its crumpled sheets, wound-up comforter, and exposed mattress, Stacy’s bed would be a daylight nightmare, worse than any slithering snake or creepy spider could ever hope to be. (SHOW--multiple sentence revision)

Now You Try It… l Your task is to show and not tell the following sentences. Good luck! Telling: The room was dark. n Telling: The room was scary. n Telling: Jerome opened his locker. n