Writing feedback 1 Writing is not speaking Writing

Writing feedback 1 Writing is not speaking

Writing as a process Generating ideas Focussing Reviewing Structuring Evaluating Drafting • White & Arndt (1991) 2

The socio-cultural context of writing Social purpose: what is the purpose of the text? Field: what are you writing about? TEXT - Type Tenor: who is the writer/the reader? - Organisation - Language Mode: Internet, computador (Word document, e-mail), paper, etc 3

report TYPE letter dissertation essay Text ORGANISATION E-mail LANGUAGE 4

TYPE Text ORGANISATION Layout Stages of the text Structure of paragraph LANGUAGE (Information flow in clause) 5

ORGANISATION TYPE everyday technical/ specialist personal Register impersonal Text concrete abstract/ general LANGUAGE (textual development) Lexicogrammatical choices structures vocabulary 6

Socio-cultural context of writing 1 • Social purpose: to persuade reader that the analysis is valid • Field: advertisement campaigns from an oil company • Tenor: Teacher/Student • Mode: written

Text • Type: argument essay • Organisation 1 (deductive) – Introduction • (Background information) • Thesis – Analysis • Claim • Evidence – the means through which the claim is substantiated – Description – Interpretation of symbolic meaning – Conclusion • Reinforced thesis statement

Text • Type: argument essay • Organisation 2 (inductive) – Introduction • (Background information) • Purpose of essay – Analysis • Evidence – Description – Interpretation of symbolic meaning • Claim (Thus) – Conclusion • Conclusion related to purpose of essay and based on claims

Language: Register everyday x personal/informal Concrete technical impersonal/formal x abstract/general x

So, the first campaign we analysed dates back to 2004. As main elements we can see lots of green bills from different countries with a sentence, ‘why green is good’, in the middle. We also have a small text that ends with “Profit, Principles, or both? ” We concluded that the green they talk about can represents both the environment and their customers’ and investors’ trust, telling them that they must see shell as a company that seeks for profits, but doesn’t forget about its principles (social and ethic responsibility). 89 words

Register: too personal too concrete So, the first campaign we analysed dates back to 2004. As main elements we can see lots of green bills from different countries with a sentence, “why green is good”, in the middle. We also have a small text that ends with “Profit, Principles, or both? ” We concluded that the green they talk about can represents both the environment and their customers’ and investors’ trust, telling them that they must see Shell as a company that seeks for profits, but doesn’t forget about its principles (social and ethic responsibility).

Register: more impersonal more abstract The first campaign dates back to 2004. The ad depicts many green bills from different countries with a sentence, “why green is good”, in the middle. There is also a small text that ends with “Profit, Principles, or both? ” The green of the money and the slogan can represent both the environment and Shell’s customers’ and investors’ trust, suggesting that they should see Shell as a company that seeks profits, but does not forget its principles of social and ethic responsibility. 81 words

Register: more impersonal more abstract The first campaign dates back to 2004. On the right side of the ad are many green bills from different countries with a sentence, “why green is good”, in the middle. On the left there is a small text that ends with “Profit, Principles, or both? ” The green of the money and the slogan can represent both the environment and Shell’s customers’ and investors’ trust, suggesting that they should see Shell as a company that seeks profits, but does not forget its principles of social and ethic responsibility. 89 words

More impersonal/more abstract • Choose verbal processes that do not have ‘we’ or ‘I’ as subject • Delete unnecessary mental/verbal process verbs (e. g. conclude, analyse, see) • Use relational process verbs (e. g. suggest, imply, show, demonstrate, prove, confirm) • Use nominal groups as subjects (e. g. the green of the money and in the slogan) • Use the present tense

Textual development; Information flow & Thematic choice The first campaign dates back to 2004. The ad depicts many green bills from different countries with a sentence, “why green is good”, in the middle. There is also a small text that ends with “Profit, Principles, or both? ” The green of the money and the slogan can represent both the environment and Shell’s customers’ and investors’ trust, suggesting that they should see Shell as a company that seeks profits, but does not forget its principles of social and ethic responsibility.

Textual development; information flow & thematic choice The first campaign dates back to 2004. On the right side of the ad are many green bills from different countries with a sentence, “why green is good”, in the middle. On the left there is a small text that ends with “Profit, Principles, or both”. The green of the money and the slogan can represent both the environment and Shell’s customers’ and investors’ trust, suggesting that they should see Shell as a company that seeks profits, but does not forget its principles of social and ethic responsibility.