Writing Crash Course Lets fix our issues and

Writing Crash Course Let’s fix our issues and strive for perfection.

Where to start: The prompt • Let’s examine the prompt and find out what exactly it is asking us to do. • Prompt: Write an essay in which you argue whether or not people should be allowed to keep exotic animals as pets. Use information from the passages in your essay.

Where to start: The prompt • Prompt: Write an essay in which you argue whether or not people should be allowed to keep exotic animals as pets. Use information from the passages in your essay. • An essay, not a paragraph. Not two paragraphs… • An intro, a fully developed body (2 -4 paragraphs), and a conclusion.

Where to start: The prompt • Prompt: Write an essay in which you argue whether or not people should be allowed to keep exotic animals as pets. Use information from the passages in your essay. • Create an argument with logical support to prove it. • This is not an expository essay or persuasive. • What are the differences?

Where to start: The prompt • Prompt: Write an essay in which you argue whether or not people should be allowed to keep exotic animals as pets. Use information from the passages in your essay. • This is the topic. You need make a judgment. For or against the topic.

Where to start: The prompt • Prompt: Write an essay in which you argue whether or not people should be allowed to keep exotic animals as pets. Use information from the passages in your essay. • You must use source information from at least two sources. • You must cite these sources to give proper credit to the authors.

Let’s look at some claims: • People should not be able to own exotic animals. • People should not be permitted to have exotic animals as pets. • Americans should have the right to keep exotic animals. • All of these are “clear and strong claims”.

What is the counterclaim? • The opposite side of the claim. • So if you say yes they should be able to have exotic animals as pets, the counter claim is that they shouldn’t. • If the source says that “It takes hundreds of thousands of years [to domesticate a wild animal breed]”, this can be used as the counterclaim, then you must refute it. • One might refute it by saying, “If it takes hundreds of thousands of years, then we should start now domesticating them. ”

Here is another example of addressing the counterclaim for the claim of “People should not be able to own exotic animals. ” • In source 2, Scott Shoemaker says, “No uninvolved individual has been killed in the USA since 1990. ” While that may be true, to own a pet, one has to be involved with the animal, and no one could ever predict the dangers of an exotic pet.

Here is another example. • It is true that domesticated animals such as dogs and cats can injure their owners or other people, their attacks may not be as serious or deadly as exotic animals.

Get out a piece of paper: You will turn this in for a grade. • Number it 1. and label it Claim: • 1. Claim: • Copy the following prompt, and write a claim statement. • Many school districts are requiring volunteer hours as a requirement for graduation. Write an essay in which you argue whether or not volunteer hours should be a requirement for graduation. Use evidence from the provided sources to support your claim.

Share out: • I will take five examples. Who thinks they have a good one. • A good claim states (in a statement, not a question… NEVER a question) the writer’s position on the topic (for or against) but does not mirror the prompt exactly. Put it in a different way, making sure it is clear.

Good vs Bad Claim Statement • Bad: Why should volunteer hours be a graduation requirement? I will tell you. • Bad: Many school districts are requiring volunteer hours as a requirement for graduation. Volunteer hours should be a requirement for graduation. • Good: Volunteering can be a rewarding experience that provides strong lessons for one’s future, therefore, it should be required of all high school graduates. • Good: Increasing demands for high school student’s time makes current graduation requirements a challenge for most, so requiring

Now, back to your assignment. • Number 2. Label it Counterclaim: • 2. Counterclaim: • Write a counterclaim statement to your claim statement. • This is just to get it out on paper so you see what you will have to be thinking about when you are addressing the counterclaim.

Sources • How to cite a source: MLA style = (author’s last name[space] page number) Ex: (Wright 3). • NOTE: The period is after the end parenthesis. IF it is after a quote, it goes: word” (Name 4). • You may also put the source number in the parenthesis: Ex: (Source 2). • If you mention these things in the sentence, you don’t even have to use a parenthetical citation. Ex: According to source 1, the Bubonic Plague was the worst pandemic in history. • Keep in mind that the best way, is to mention the author and/or title of the article.

More examples of good citations: • Mia Lewis states[note: you must put a comma here before you go into the quote], “Domestication is not something that happens in one or two generations: it takes hundreds of thousands of years” (Source 1). • “It takes hundreds of thousands of years[again, a comma must be used here if the sentence continues after the quote], ” source 1 said about domesticating wild animals.

Here are three sources for your prompt, let’s examine them for evidence:

As you read the articles use this code to annotate: • For the evidence that supports your claim: C • For the evidence that supports the counterclaim: CC

Now you must decide how the bits of evidence will be grouped and organized. • So from your reading and understanding of the topic list your reasons for making your claim. • Number 3 and label it Possible Body Paragraphs: • 3. Possible Body Paragraphs: • Number them 1 -?

Go back to your evidence. • In which body paragraph does each bit of evidence fall? • Label each marked annotation with their appropriate number. • For example, if I have a quote from source one, and it will fit in a paragraph from my list #1, I would put a 1 by it in the annotations.

Evaluate your evidence: • Do you need more evidence for each body paragraph? One bit is not enough. Two is good, three is awesome. • Do the same with the counterclaim evidence. Which paragraphs might those be refuted in?

Ways to Organize an Argument Essay • Acceptable: Intro with counterclaim as attention getter, followed by claim at the end, body where you support your reasons, conclusion. • Better: Intro with a claim centered attention getter, followed by the claim, body where you support your reasons, a paragraph about the counterclaim, followed by the conclusion. • Best: Intro with a claim centered attention getter, followed by the claim, body where you support your reasons and each body paragraph contains a mention of the counter claim with evidence to refute it, followed by the conclusion.

Should you choose to have a counterclaim paragraph, here is a template you might use: • Although there are many people who believe (restate [NOT REPEAT] your thesis), many, however, believe that (provide the opposing viewpoint). • Explain the counterargument in 2 -3 sentences: • Although these opinions are important to consider, it is important to remember that (offer your refutation/rebuttal).

• Although there are many people who believe exotic animals make fine pets, many, however, believe that exotics are the worst choice one can make. The opposition believes they are too dangerous, expensive, and impractical. They can see no positive reasons to own a tiger, monkey, or large snake. The naysayers feel that a dog, cat, or guinea pig is a more responsible choice. Although these opinions are important to consider, it is important to remember that when a person is willing to take on the risk, the cost, and the responsibility, they can be the perfect exotic pet owner.

Choose which organization pattern you will use. • Number 4. Label it Outline: • 4. Outline: • Now make a super brief outline [NO COMPLETE SENTENCES] of the flow of your paper. • Which body paragraph should go first, second, last? If you have three, put the one with the least support (if there isn’t enough, consider leaving it out altogether), in the middle. Put your strongest of the two others last before the conclusion, as it will be more likely remembered over the first one you write. Also, be sure they are about equal in length. Do not have one or two skimpy paragraphs, followed by a really long one. Beef up the skimpy ones.

Now, your plan is done. • TURN IN YOUR PAPERS FOR A GRADE.

The Effective Introduction ØShould lead the reader into the essay and provide a beginning. Do not word for word restate the prompt in your essay. Weak writers rely on that. Strong writers come up with their own attention getter on the topic.

What is an attention-getter? The attentiongetter should be two to five sentences long. ØDescription ØAnecdote ØBackground Information ØMeaningful Quotes

Never use… • A question! It is juvenile and it’s time to grow up. • Onomatopoeia. Again, that’s what 5 th graders use. • Avoid the definition. • A narration of your reading and thinking process. • Never tell me that you are going to tell me

Description (The Camera Pan) • A little girl runs up to her mother and asks, “Can we please get a puppy? ” The parents may consider and say yes. Sure, it is a lot of responsibility, but not as much as if the little girl had asked for a baby chimpanzee. Owning an exotic pet takes huge responsibility, is a life time commitment, and is dangerous. People should not be permitted to have exotic animals as pets.

Anecdote • It has always been a dream of mine to own a baby monkey. Monkeys are more intelligent than dogs, cuter, and way more fun to play with because of their opposable thumbs. When I was young, I asked my mother for a baby monkey for Christmas. She denied my request based on the fact that they are messy and too much work to raise. If someone is really willing to take on this responsibility, he or she should be allowed to own an exotic animal for a pet.

Background information • Many people in the world fear the idea of having an exotic animal, such as a primate, elephant, tiger, or snake. These unique pets have been guilty of injuring a human in a few cases, but there have been even more cases of a person injured by a dog than by an exotic animal. They are not to be feared, but respected. Anyone who is willing to take on this risk and treat them as they need to be treated should be able to have an exotic animal as

Quote • “In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. ” What if the lion were not sleeping in the jungle, but in your backyard. The care and handling of an exotic animal as a pet is a huge undertaking. These are not simple little cats here; they are deadly, unpredictable beasts that can not ever fully be tamed. Exotic animals should be banned as pets in American for the safety of all.

The claim statement • After you have written a successful attention getter, put in your claim statement. You may have to bridge the gap between the AG and the claim with a transitional sentence. • Once that is complete, your intro is done. • THE CLAIM STATEMENT GOES AS THE LAST SENTENCE OF THE INTRO!

Write an Introduction • Write an introduction for your essay you planned. • I’ll return your plans to you, and you need to staple the intro to the plan when complete. • Yes, this is your next grade, and be prepared to revise it if it isn’t up to par. • If you finish, you may trade and share with a partner and revise and edit before you turn it in.

The Body Paragraphs One must build support in his essays like a lawyer builds a case. EVIDENCE. What if a lawyer said, “I know my client is innocent because he is a good person”? Guilty! Insufficient evidence never wins a case or gets a passing score on an essay.

Writing an argument essay is like creating a case. You are the lawyer. • State your claim, then prove it is true with cold hard facts, not opinions. • But you can’t just spout facts. • Lists of support do nothing for the case. YOU MUST EXPLAIN HOW THE FACTS PROVE YOUR CASE!

The Power Paragraph 1. Topic sentence with transition (more on those soon). Should both connect to claim and make a point. These are the reasons you picked out earlier 2. Evidence. Concrete fact to prove the statement in the topic sentence. A quote (you must lead into this) or paraphrased detail from a source. All evidence from a source must be cited. 3. Commentary explaining how the evidence proves the point. Further elaborations. This may be where you could provide an example from your experience/history/literature. 4. 5. Concluding sentence to end the paragraph and lead into the next. May have an optional 5 which would be relating the counterclaim or rebuttal.

A Power Paragraph goes a little something like this: • Basically it must begin • 1, 2, 3, 4. with the 1: Topic • Or Sentence and end with a • 1, 2, 3, 4. 4: Concluding Sentence. In between, you must • Or have at least two 2’s • 1, 2, 3, 3, 5, 5, (Evidence), and at least two 3’s (Commentary), 4. but more is totally

Refer back to your plan. • What is the first body paragraph supposed to be about? • What evidence do you have for it? • Write a topic sentence for your first body paragraph. • NOTE on transitions: Do not begin your first paragraph with anything like: To begin with, To start off, First of all, First and foremost… • There is no need to transition from the intro into the first body paragraph. That is done through a topic sentence for the first reason.

Examples of good first body paragraph topic sentences 1’s: • Having an exotic pet is expensive and most owners are unable to provide the proper environment that kind of animal needs. • Exotic animals fall under the wild animal category and have wild animal instincts whether in captivity or not. • On TV, we see these shows with exotic animals. When we go to the circus, we see exotic animals. No one says anything about those people owning these animals. It is not different when a neighbor or friend decides to own an exotic creature. (Note: this is more than one sentence, but the other sentences lead into the topic

2. Evidence: • In source 1, it names a few reasons not to own a wild animal, “Wild animals are wild, even in captivity. ” 3. Commentary: • If we look at evolution, we evolved from Apes. We have a wild animal inside ourselves, yet we have become domesticated.

2. Evidence: • “It takes hundreds of thousands of years, ” source 1 said about domesticating wild animals. 3. Commentary: • If it takes hundreds of thousands of years, then we should start now domesticating them.

4. The concluding sentence • The concluding sentence should make the paragraph feel finished, but lead into the next body paragraph. • This way, in the future, owning an unusual animal may become usual.

A Power Paragraph: • The class will split into two teams to assemble a paragraph puzzle. • We will race for you to assemble the paragraph and label with a power number each sentence. • The first team to get it done and right, will win.

Mandatory volunteering eats up what precious little spare time most students have in their daily schedule. In Tandeace Hairston’s article, “Disadvantages of Volunteer Work, ” she states, “Depending on the kind of volunteer work, it could cost as little as a few hours a month or a few hours each day. ” Monthly volunteering would not be a terrible commitment, but often, that is not enough to make a real impact. When one commits to daily, or even weekly service, in order to make a real difference, this time commitment take up too much of the meager amount of time the student even has for studying, family, or work a week. In a 24 hour day, the average high school student sleeps eight hours, grooms for one, and eats for about two. With eight more hours spent in school and another two studying, that leaves only three hours a day left for friends, family, interests, and work. Fitting in volunteer service is too taxing on a mere high school student. In this same article, Hairston states that many student volunteers suffer from burn out which impacts not only their professional lives, but their personal lives as well. Volunteering can devour the time one would need to study, or infringe on one’s responsibilities to their family, such as babysitting a younger sibling or completing chores around the house. Proponents of service requirements claim that very little time is needed to volunteer, but when one does the math, even one hour a week with travel time only leaves students with 13 hours a week for work, family, or play. To add another time constraint into a very

Now write your first body paragraph. Add it to your intro. • Yes, this is your next grade, and again, be prepared to revise it if it isn’t up to par. • If you finish, you may trade and share with a partner and revise and edit before you turn it in. • PLEASE LABEL EACH SENTENCE WITH A POWER NUMBER, TO DOUBLE CHECK YOU HAVE ALL OF THE PARTS TO THE PARAGRAPH NEEDED. • Remember: 1 = topic sentence, 2 = evidence, 3 = commentary, 4 = concluding sentence, Optional 5 = counterclaim

Transitions: • You should not just plunk transitional phrases on the beginning of paragraph. That is basic and basic will not get a passing score. • Transitions should connect one paragraph to the next by connecting the ideas in both paragraphs. Take key ideas from the previous paragraph and mention it in the transition connecting it to the next idea. • First let’s look at some bad examples of transitions into second body paragraphs, then we will take a look at some good ones.

Bad transitions • Normal pets grow to a manageable size but exotics don’t. • In addition to, exotics are expensive. • Furthermore, exotic pets are more dangerous than regular pets. • Secondly, my next reason is that they are expensive.

Good Transitions • Previous paragraph topic: domesticating the exotic animals. • Transition + topic sentence of the next paragraph. Power sentence # 1. • No matter how undomesticated these animals are, “Deaths or serious injuries are exceedingly rare” (Source 2). • Note: This is also a bit of evidence. It sets up that the next paragraph will be about the dangers of having an

Another good one: • Previous paragraph topic: the dangers of owning an exotic. • Harming people is not the only reason people disagree with owning an exotic pet. They can also be very expensive.

A good transition for that paragraph puzzle we did: • Last sentence of the last paragraph: To add another time constraint into a very busy high school student’s life is forcing him or her to choose between having a productive and enjoyable life and meeting one more requirement to graduate. • Transition + Topic Sentence: Even great students struggle to fit in service hours, imagine how difficult it would be for one who is just struggling to meet the demands of high school in order to graduate. Adding one more thing to their agenda is simply unfair.

Now finish the body. Make sure you use effective transitions. • Remember to refer back to your plan to remember what you were going to write the next paragraph about. • Yes, this is your next grade, and once again, be prepared to revise it if it isn’t up to par. • If you finish, you may trade and share with a partner and revise and edit before you turn it in.

At this point, you should have a completed plan, intro and body. • Let’s review some of the no no’s of proper writing, so you can check your essay for them so far. • No You or any form of it! • No I believe, I think, I feel, or narration/purpose statements of any kind. • No really, very, a lot, stuff, things, slang, or numbered transitions. • Check your grammar, spelling and punctuation.

Make sure you have: • A claim • Addressed the counterclaim and refuted it. • Have at least two bits of evidence from the text in each body paragraph. • Have commentary for each of these bits of evidence that explains how the evidence proves the claim.

Conclusions • A conclusion should not just restate thesis or intro, nor should it summarize the main points of the essay. • This is basic, and basic doesn’t get a passing score. • So what should you do in the conclusion then?

The Proper Conclusion • If you are the lawyer, this is your closing statement. It is what difference does all of this evidence make. What is the purpose for having made this argument? • If you just summarize, you are not going to make an impact. It is just a boring and dull end. Not very effective.

A simple summary conclusion • People should not be allowed to own exotic pets (word for word, the same as the claim statement). Exotic animals can be dangerous whether in or out of captivity. The dangers of having an exotic pet opposed to a domesticated pet is very high. Not only that, but they are expensive, time consuming, and a huge responsibility.

A conclusion in an argumentative essay should never be a call to action. • Pathos should be very limited in an argumentative essay. Focus on logos and establishing ethos through proof. • A call to action conclusion is weak and over the top, therefore weakens the argument. That is not what you want to do right at the end of the essay.

A weak call to action conclusion: • Ultimately, freedom is at stake here. America cannot prohibit the people’s right to the pursuit of happiness stated in the Declaration of Independence. This matter may only concern a small number of people, but it involves more than them. It also matters to the people who live in nearby communities to the animal.

Do not do these things: • Begin with an unnecessary, overused phrase like “in conclusion, ” “In summary, ” or “In closing. ” • Introduce a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion. • End with a rephrased thesis statement. • Make sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character from the rest of your paper. • Include evidence (quotations, statistics, etc. ) that should be in the body.

Never, ever end with something like this: • Now I have explained why I think this is true. What do you think? • Not only does this use a question, which is against the rules for good writing, but it uses you, says “I think”, and uses a purpose statement! A quadruple terrible ending. Again, you are not in middle school. Grow up and write like a young adult.

Look to the future of the topic • This strategy emphasizes the importance of your paper and may help your reader to think globally about the future. • Without well-qualified teachers, schools are little more than buildings and equipment. If higherpaying careers continue to attract the best and brightest students, there will not only be a shortage of teachers, but the teachers available may not have the best qualifications. Our youth will suffer. When youth suffers, the future suffers.

Zingers • All essays should end with a zinger. A sentence that gives it a feeling of an end. • Note the one in the last example: Our youth will suffer. When youth suffers, the future suffers. • Another example: Wild animals belong in the wild; it is better for both the public, and the animal.

Play the so what game. Ask yourself, “So what? ” • Why is it so important to the world to know about this topic or to agree with your position. • The following is an example of a good conclusion.

Claim (coincidentally also addresses the counterclaim): Many people argue that Americans should not be allowed to own these creatures. No matter what people say, these Americans should have the right to keep these exotic animals. Conclusion: People have many reasons why we shouldn’t own an exotic animal. There are just as many reasons it would be rewarding. Don’t take these people’s rights if they want to own such a unique animal. Usually those who do choose this type of pet do so knowing what they are undertaking. The risk is their right to take.

Now, it’s your turn. Write your conclusion. • Go back and look at your plan one more time. • Re-read your intro and body. • Write your conclusion and make sure to end with a zinger. • Yes, this is your next grade, and finally, yes, be prepared to revise it if it isn’t up to par. • If you finish, you may trade and share with a partner and revise and edit before you turn it in.

Now you have an essay: • Let’s look at the parts of the rubric. And look for each in your own essay. • Let’s have a little friendly competition for the next couple days. • Get into groups of four, so there can be a tie breaker if needed. • As we go through the rubric, prove to your classmates that you have each of these things.

First, take turns reading your essays to the group. • Now as we go through these parts of the rubric, show you have them to the group, and if all agree, you get one point for each part. • The person with the highest number of points will get bonus points for the 9 weeks and a small prize.

Part one: Purpose, Focus, and Organization. Worth 4 points. • The response is about the topic (throughout). • The response is strong (Has ample evidence) and complete (All parts are there including the conclusion). • The response focuses on its purpose (It is a true argument essay, not a persuasive one).

• The response focuses on the audience (It has an academic formal tone, not a conversational one). • The response focuses on its specific task (You are answering the prompt fully and completely). • The response is organized with a clear structure (Has a definite paragraph structure with indents, a separate intro, body paragraphs, and conclusion and uses effective transitions

• The response is coherent (It is clear and easy to understand). • The response is complete (addresses all parts of the prompt). • The response includes a clear and strong claim. • The response includes material that is ONLY related to the claim. • The response includes alternate or opposing claims.

• The response includes transitional strategies that make relationships between points and ideas. • A progression of ideas (clearly move from one idea or point to the next). • A good introduction (Has a strong attentiongetter and a strong claim statement). • A good conclusion (Answers so what? and ends in a zinger).

• The response includes appropriate style (Formal, academic tone). • The response has an objective tone (Little to no use of Pathos. You don’t go crazy with anger or excitement. ). • What is your Purpose, Focus and Organization Total? • 18 -16 = 4, 15 -12 = 3, 11 -8 = 2, 7 -3 = 1, 2 -0 =0

Evidence and Elaboration Worth 4 points • The response provides convincing support and evidence (The evidence used from the text does a good job of proving your claim statement). • The response provides credible (believable) support and evidence (It accurately supports the claim and doesn’t skew the evidence to make it fit the claim).

• The response includes effective use of sources, facts and details (Quotes are introduced and effectively led into). • The response includes smoothly integrated evidence (Evidence is smoothly put into the paragraph). • The response includes thorough evidence (at least two for each body paragraph). • The response includes relevant evidence (the evidence is appropriate to support the claim).

• The response includes precise reference of the sources (The sources are cited). • The response includes elaborative techniques to support the claim (There is enough commentary to prove your evidence supports the claim). • The response includes a demonstration of an understanding of the topic and text (You show that you understand the topic and the sources and how they support your argument).

• The response includes clear and effective expression of ideas (It is easy to understand what you are saying and to make sense of the points you are making. This is about sentence structure and effective organization of sentences). • The response includes precise language (The words are chosen well for the circumstances).

• The response uses academic/domain-specific vocabulary (Words are academic in tone and if the sources use a specific vocab, those words are used correctly). • The response includes variety in the sentence structure (not all sentences are simple and use to be verbs [is, are, was, were]). • What is your Evidence and Elaboration Total? • 13 -11 = 4, 10 -7 = 3, 6 -4 = 2, 3 -1= 1, 0 = 0

Conventions of Standard English Worth 2 points • The response demonstrates an adequate command of conventions (Your grammar, spelling and punctuation are correct for the most part). • The response may include minor errors in usage, but no patterns of errors (so a typo is one thing, but if you consistently use the wrong there or misspell a simple word, you will lose

• The response includes adequate use of: • Punctuation (. ; ! , : ) • Capitalization (The proper words are capitalized. Words that are not meant to be capitalized are not. ) • Sentence formation (every sentence has a subject and a verb and is appropriately formed). • Spelling (Words are spelled correctly). • What is your Conventions Total? • 6 -4 = 2, 3 -2 = 1, 1 -0 = 0

Now total up your score. • How are they looking? • Turn it all in for a grade. • Now, you need to demonstrate your understanding of the lessons learned and write an argumentative essay. You will receive the prompt and the sources tomorrow and have two days to complete the essay plus 30 minutes if necessary. For a total of 120 minutes.