Writing Clearly and Concisely Twelve oclock midnight midnight
- Slides: 9
Writing Clearly and Concisely: Twelve o’clock midnight = midnight a total of twenty-four eggs= twenty-four eggs in my personal opinion I believe= I believe because of the fact that= because exactly the same= exactly
Eliminate unnecessary that, who, and which clauses Wordy The report, which was released recently. . . All applicants who are interested in the job must. . . The system that is most efficient and accurate. . . More Concise The recently released report. . . All job applicants must. . . The most efficient and accurate system. . .
Use active rather than passive verbs Wordy An account was opened by Mrs. Simms. Your figures were checked by the research department. More Concise Mrs. Simms opened an account. The research department checked your figures.
Avoid It and There at the beginning of sentences: Wordy It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. There are four rules that should be observed: . . . There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street. More Concise The governor signs or vetoes bills. Four rules should be observed: . . . A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street.
Remove any unnecessary words: 1. The sunset is orange in colour. 2. Many students are employed for the summer, working in various offices across province. 3. John very hurriedly scribbled his name on the napkin. 4. In my own personal opinion, I believe. . . 5. When you arrive at her house for the first time, it is like entering a foreign 6. Dane likes to snowboard. It is his favourite sport. the country. 7. Sam, who is Dane's younger brother, wants to be just like him. Because of this, he has taken up snowboarding too. 8. John dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him help support his family. 9. Some people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there are many opinions on this subject. to
1. Remove any unnecessary words 2. Change unnecessary that, who, and which clauses into phrases 3. Use active rather than passive verbs 4. Avoid It and There at the beginning of sentences 5. Get rid of any I think, I believe phrases. Don't use contractions.
Thesaurus Exercise: Find at least TWO words that could be more powerful. ON a separate sheet, write out the original phrase and then write the new and improved version. Ex Original: People who are against capital punishment explain their views Opponents of capital punishment justify their views. . .
Self-Evaluation 1. Explain two changes you made from your first draft to your good copy. Be as specific as you can. Ex: My thesis wasn’t persuasive, so I changed it; my writing was really choppy on BP 2 so I added some transitions and experimented with variety. 2. a) b) What are you most proud of and why? What did you find the most difficult and why? 3. Comment on the process we went through from pre-writing - good Did it help? Why or why not? copy.
Writing Folder Order: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Good Copy: /50 Rubric Outline (2) First draft (2) Second draft (2) Thesaurus exercise (2) Self-evaluation (5) Process: /15 Revision /5
