Why Does My Child Behave Like That Practical

Why Does My Child Behave Like That? Practical Strategies for Parents of Kids on the Asperger/Autism Spectrum

Perspective Taking Organization Problem-solving Generalization Main Idea Our Kids Looking through an Asperger’s/Autism Lens Flexible Thinking Regulation of Emotions and Anxiety Attention Impulse Control © Asperger/Autism Network www. aane. org Unwritten Social Rules Social Communication Self Awareness Self Advocacy Sensory Regulation

Ever feel this way?

Building Positive Interactions Avoid “Four Cardinal Sins” Thomas Phelan (2004) • • Nagging Lecturing Arguing Offering unscheduled, spontaneous advice

Building Positive Interactions What to do Instead • • • Talk less or keep silent Make an appointment to discuss the issue Seek to understand their point of view Car Use humor Enjoy each other!

Learning About Emotions Meltdown Cycle Nothing is worth the explosion! Learn early signs of stress Teachable Rumbling Meltdown Moment Brenda Smith Myles Recovery Teachable Moment

Learning About Emotions • • • Pictures in books Special interests Cartoons/Comics TV/Movies Apps Video-replay Charades/Drama “Talking out loud” Hi-Low

Self-Regulation The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis Level Person, Place or Thing Makes me feel like this 5 This could make me lose control! 4 (Find a quiet place) This can really upset me! 3 This can make me feel nervous 2 (Use calming sequence) This sometimes bothers me 1 This never bothers me

Self-Regulation Strategies The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis Rating Size of Problem Responses 5 Catastrophe (Fire) “I have to follow directions and move fast. ” 4 Big (Mom in Hospital) “Lots of people can help us. ” 3 Medium (Friend can’t play today) “I can call someone else. ” 2 Small (Lost homework) “I can talk to the teacher. ” 1 Glitch (Don’t like my lunch) “Maybe dinner will be better. ”

Self-Regulation Strategies The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis Rating Type of Word Example What will happen 5 Threatening Swearing at teacher Get in trouble Detention 4 Angry “Get out of my face” Detention and stern lecture 3 Hurtful “I don’t care what Nobody wants to be you think” with you. 2 Just fine “Could I take a break? ” You might get what you need! 1 Sweet “Thanks for your help. ” People want to be with and help you.

Fostering Flexibility Cleaning Your Room Not Necessary Cleaning every day Great 10 minutes every other day OK Dirty laundry in basket Not Allowed Never cleaning

Fostering Flexibility I’m frustrated—what will help? Doesn’t Last Eating Treats Helps a little Talking about it Helps more Board or Card Games Library Feel much better Lasts a long time i. Pod Bike Video Games Walk Reading Friend Dog

Fostering Flexibility: Solving Problems Difficulty Option 1 Concern Option 2 © Asperger/Autism Network www. aane. org Option 3

Perspective Taking What Siblings Do Plotting against parents Fighting Playing Helping

Executive Functioning Visual Schedules 3: 30 Snack and Screen Time 4: 30 Piano 5: 30 Homework 6: 00 Set Table and Dinner 6: 30 Free Time 8: 00 Get Ready for Bed and Read

Executive Functioning Waiting Plan • • Brainstorm list Visual Timer Point

Executive Functioning Routines Sarah Ward

What does the future hold?

Recommended Resources • Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments, Brenda Smith Myles/Jack Southwick. • The Incredible 5 -Point Scale, Kari Dunn Buron/Mitzi Curtis. • The Hidden Curriculum, Brenda Smith Myles, et. al. • Navigating the Social World, Jeanette Mc. Afee. • The Explosive Child, Ross Greene. • ADHD: Living Without Brakes, Martin Kutscher. • www. aane. org • www. cognitveconnections. com

• www. brendadater. com • Parenting without Panic Facebook Page • AANE Facebook Page • Contact AANE (617) 393 -3824 or info@aane. org