What the Heck is Emotional Intelligence Speaker Cecilia

What the Heck is Emotional Intelligence? Speaker: Cecilia Rose Company: Next Door Strategies Website: www. ceciliarose. com Welcome to the PMI Houston Conference & Expo and Annual Job Fair 2014 • Please set your cell phone/pager to silent mode • Q&A will be taken at the close of this presentation • There will be time at the end of this presentation for you to take a few moments to complete the session survey. We value your feedback which allows us to improve this annual event. 1

What the Heck is Emotional Intelligence? Ensuring Your Most Valuable Career Asset

Communication Problems You Are Dealing With Right Now in Your Company

When You Think Of Effective Leaders What Comes To Mind?

Intellect and Emotion Do Not Contradict One Another – You Need Both To Live Your Life Successfully & Fully

Research: Emotional Intelligence

Project managers… with higher EQ linked to improved teamwork and more effective handling of conflict • Numerous studies explore the financial implication of emotional intelligence; particularly how higher EQ leaders produce more powerful business results. One such study tested 186 executives on EQ and compared their scores with their company’s profitability; leaders who scored higher in key aspects of emotional intelligence (including empathy and accurate self-awareness) were more likely to be highly profitable. ” • “managers high in emotional intelligence outperformed others in terms of increased guest satisfaction, lower turnover, and 34% greater profit growth” • “…higher EQ scores predict higher performance in ethics” • “leaders who created more positive climate had more revenue as well as increased growth”

Project Manager Scared

What Is EQ? • Some people just get along with others, respond carefully even in the face of challenge, and truly connect with people. They are proactive, balanced, operate with integrity, and have great insight into themselves and others. All these come from a set of skills called emotional intelligence, or EQ. ” • The ability to recognize and identify your emotions and the emotions of others and use the awareness to manage your behaviors and relationships and make healthy choices.

Three

4 Primary Emotions

SAD

GLAD

Self-Awareness Leaders must have an accurate picture of their strengths and weaknesses

JOHARI Window

What Are Your Buttons?

You Have a Choice As To What You Do • • Notice your physical changes Stop and ask yourself what set you off BREATHE!!! Take it all in before you say or do something

Self-Awareness

Managing Emotions

Would You Act or React? • Your boss is obviously frustrated and says, I can’t find the report for the Martin & Martin case that we discussed and you said you would have on my desk. • Notice the first thing that happens. • Now notice if you are practicing EQ • Now notice if your not practicing EQ

Would You Act or React? • You are in a meeting brainstorming and you jump in with an idea and a colleague says, “that is ridiculous!” • Notice the first thing that happens. • Now notice if you are practicing EQ • Now Notice if you are not practicing EQ

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Motivating Oneself

• The degree of people's ability to delay gratification can be measured at an early age, and can predict later life success. This was proven by the research of Walter Mischel that started in the 1960 s and often involved the marshmallow test. In this test, the experimenter would give four-year-old children a marshmallow and told them that they could either eat the marshmallow now, or they could wait fifteen minutes until the experimenter got back from doing a task and have two marshmallows. The children would then have to sit in a room with the marshmallow sitting right in front of them. Some of the children could not resist the temptation of a marshmallow in front of them and ate it before the experimenter returned, while other children displayed delayed gratification and waited to get two marshmallows. • Specifically, children who were able to wait for two marshmallows grew up to be more intelligent, more likely to resist temptation, have better social responsibility, exhibit better ways to cope with frustration and stress, and strive for higher levels of achievement in many areas of life. In one group of participants in these many experiments, there was a link between delay of gratification and higher SAT scores.

Two Types of Motivation Internal: • This motivation is within and has to do with what you believe about yourself, what you value, your interests and type of effort. External: • This motivation comes from without and has to do with money, awards, trophies, recognition, promotions, Kudos and more.

True or False • Motivated people know what they want to achieve and find a way to make it happen • Motivated people find ways to keep them motivated like have an accountability buddy or making a plan or a mission statement • Motivated people are able to achieve what they do all by themselves. • Unmotivated people make sure they exercise every day • It is known that everyone is motivated by something different

Empathy is # 1 Trait of a Leader

How To Show Empathy • Put yourself in their shoes • Put forth an effort to connect to what the other person is feeling • Pay attention to subtle clues to figure out what the person needs or wants • A good way to respond “What I hear you saying is…”

Recognizing Emotions In Others

Empathy Begins With Listening

Handling Emotions of Others

How Do Handle Others Emotions • • • Be present Listen Don’t talk unless absolutely necessary Don’t tell them it will be ok Just let them feel and don’t take them out of their emotions • If you cannot help think of who can

Get Unstuck and Move Forward

3 Step Processing Emotions This is about being present and just being with your emotions or someone else’s – it is not about making anything different. It is about empathy and comforting and allowing the space and place for our emotions and feelings to get unstuck so we can move forward. AWARENESS: This is paying attention to the visceral and physical feelings one is having and be with them. Ask simple questions to help you get clear on WHAT you are feeling. – “What am I sensing right now in my body? And “What else? ” – “What am I feeling right now and have I felt this way before? ” – “Am I willing to just feel the feelings and go wherever they take me? ACKNOWLEDGE: This is about acknowledging what you’re feeling and witnessing your pain. When we allow ourselves to feel and validate our emotions we can begin to release and let go of the feelings. – Know and tell yourself that is difficult and painful and you have felt your feelings before and you felt better afterwards. – Also, a great way to get people out of thinking and into the experience is to ask, “Where in your body do you feel that? ” and “What is that like? ” ALLOW: The most difficult step and that is knowing that feelings may sometimes not make sense to our intellect. And in and of that we do our best to avoid them at all costs. However, when we avoid them that is what keeps us stuck. So by giving ourselves the space and the place to feel them and just being can create a shift and release which will allow you to breathe again. – It takes courage to allow yourself to feel your feelings and a whole lot of courage to allow yourself to “fall apart” if need be. – Tune into yourself and just be to decide when it is time to move on – many times this will show up as a shift in breathing, in the body or energy level. – Usually when you have had a shift and a release you will breathe deeper and feel a little lighter and your mind will feel more clear and you may have the energy to take a step to go forward by first being gentle with yourself and the fear and wanting to avoid your feeling will have dissipated. Depending you will begin to feel the strength to move forward to your next steps whatever they may be.

RECEIVE

Own Your Career: Cultivate Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence Shows!

People Will Forget What You Say; They Will Forget What You Do; And… They Will Never Forget How You Make Them Feel!

Cecilia Rose NEXT Door Strategies, LLC Executive | Career | Transition Coach 2365 Rice Boulevard l Suite 217 l Houston, Texas 77005 Direct 713 588 -4668 | Mobile 713 304 -6868 Cecilia. Rose. com | cecilia@ceciliarose. com

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Q & A ? • Please step up to the floor microphone to ask a question 48

Contact Information • • • Speaker: Cecilia Rose Company: Next Door Strategies Website: www. ceciliarose. com Phone: 713 -588 -4668 E-mail: Cecilia@ceciliarose. com Thank You 49

Closing thoughts… Thank you for attending this session. We hope you found this presentation added value to your knowledge of Project Management. • Take a few moments to complete the Session Survey. We appreciate and value your feedback. • Hand in your completed survey to Registration, you will receive a free raffle ticket for one of the drawings to be held in the Vendor Expo (see Conference Program Guide for details). 50