What is Your Dream dream Do you dream
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What is Your ? Dream dream
• Do you dream of lettuce? • Do you dream of salad? • Imagine your life 3 X better. dream
3 Big Questions: Who am I? What matters? What do I want? dream
What is Your Super Theory of Life? Who We Are, What We Want and How We Get it. dream
Super Theory Being Choice Intrinsic Integrity Self Control Conform Manipulate Bully Doing Success Pleasure Social Comparison Wanting Boredom dream
Three Generations, Three Super Theories, Three Dreams. dream
GREATEST GENERATION BOOMERS GEN 21 • 35 M (60+) • 75 M (40 -60) • 126 M (15 -40) • Valuable • Visible • Vital • Secure • Successful • Happy • Loyal • Independent • Collaborative dream
21 st Century Generation X Y Z OLDEST: SKEPTICAL MIDDLE: REALISTIC YOUNGEST: OPTIMISTIC Gen 21: Open Minded, Optimistic, Confident, Collaborative, Autonomous
We Live 3 Lives Birth – 25……. . Self Discovery 26 – 50………. . . Experience 50 +……………. Wisdom dream It’s not too late to live your Dream Life. dream
The Story of Our Lives Growth Spiral Innovate Collaborate O R Envision HE Do Want STATUS QUO Death Spiral CRISIS Don’t Want D R Deny A W O Blame C Rationalize Hero’s Journey
Bigger Dreams for ALL: Dream Goals for a New Future dream
Happiness: Life Satisfaction Positive Emotion | Passionate Engagement | Personal Meaning
One Life, Now 1. Life Alignment 2. Life Autonomy 3. Life Achievement Take the Dream Life Challenge.
Our dreams are discovered when our Design and Desires meet. Dream Life Desire Success Interest Mediocrity Willingness Avoidance Failure Incompetence Capability Skill Design GTV
WHO AM I? Design dream
WHO AM I? Design • Traits • Talents • Track Record dream
If you don’t know WHO you are, you won’t know WHAT you want. dream
Our Super Theory Determines Our Identity Design: Traits & Talents Spirit Meaning Achievement, Job, Thoughts Mind Body Success Pleasure Tribes Body, Emotions, Traumas dream
What do you stand for? 1) What parts of your current life should be eliminated? 2) 2) What do you need to add to your life that expresses your uniqueness? 3) What parts of your life should you invest in well above the average person’s life? 4) How are you going to be and live different than everyone else? 5) How do you define your unique approach to life?
Who Am I? Traits • Enduring Strengths • How You Experience Reality • How You Want to Offer Value dream
Discovering Your Soul’s Traits • What do you most value about me? • What do you most admire about me? • What do you most enjoy about me? VIA Signature Strengths Survey @ American. Dream. Project. org
WHO AM I? INNATE TRAITS • Creativity • Vitality • Humility/Modesty • Curiosity • Love • Prudence • Open-mindedness • Kindness • Self-regulation • Love of Learning • Social Intelligence • Appreciation of • Perspective • Citizenship • Bravery • Fairness • Persistence • Leadership • Integrity • Forgiveness & Mercy Beauty and Excellence • Gratitude • Hope • Humor • Spirituality
Who am I? Talents: 3 Clues • Compliments • Energy, Effort, Ease • Desire for Mastery dream
Who Am I? Skills for the 21 st Century • Integrity • Relationships • Wisdom dream
Discovering Your Talents • What do you most value about me? • What would you like me to do more of? • What would you like me to do less of?
Your Dream Lifestyle • Life List • Live Rich
WHAT MATTERS? Drive dream
Drive: Prime Motive Gain Grow Give Grow Gain dream
Lost Boys of Sudan
What can I do? “I can’t do everything, but I can do something. I will not let the things I cannot do prevent me from doing the things I can. ” * Helen Keller Paraphrased
Our Drive is Our Message Love or Fear dream
What do I want? What does my soul desire? dream
• • • Are we cyborgs? Do we all want to be rock stars? Whose life are we living? Unplug, Ask, Listen. Pay attention to reality: never mistake a goal for a dream
Soul Reflection 1. Unplug, Ask, Listen 2. Read, Discuss 3. Become Conscious
What do I want? DESIRES: Lifestyle
Positive Emotions, Passionate Engagement, Personal Meaning • Where You Live • How You Live • Why You Live
Desire Lifestyle, Relationships, Career • Deepest longings. • Choice if no one cared. • Energy gain.
Lifestyle Positive Emotions, Passionate Engagement, Personal Meaning Where You Live | How You Live | Why You Live
What do I want? DESIRES: Career
Future Proof Your Life Don’t Compete Be Unique. You already are. Just turn up the volume.
Career: Be Original, Be Great, Be Passionate • • Choice if no one cared. Unconventional job fit. Constant, creative learning. Energy gain. dream
So How Great Do You Want To Be? Good Source: Paul Arden Quite Good Very Good The Best in Your Field. The Best in the World.
Career: Design & Drive is What Counts Stand Out, Don’t Fit In dream
Career: Drive Transform Ambition to Inspiration • Blind ambition is slavery. • Change YOUR World. dream
Be Global Proof: Design & Drive is What Counts Stand Out, Don’t Fit In Become an Expert with High Emotional Intelligence dream
Career: Life Chapters 10 Things You Want to Do Before You Die dream
CAREER Evolution of Work Value Wisdom Work (Judgment) Creative Work (Ideas) Knowledge Worker (Facts) Process Worker (Labor) dream
What do I want? DESIRES: Relationships
Relationships • Without Love there is no happiness. • With Love there is no emptiness. • Relationships are the source of all human meaning. dream
• Without Love there is no happiness. • With Love there is no emptiness. • Relationships are the source of all human meaning. dream
Our Deepest Longing is Genuine Love • Spam instead of intimacy. • Sex instead of love. • Options instead of commitment. dream
Love requires both Intimacy and Commitment. dream
The Quality of Our Relationships Comes from Our Super Theory Design: Traits & Talents Integrity Achievement, Job, Thoughts Body, Emotions, Traumas Goals Pleasure Active Advocacy Aggressive, Bargaining Demands/Threats Insecure, Undermining Passive
If Love Drives You, Create More Love • Understand • Affirm • Involve dream
When your Design + Drive + Desire all connected, you are living your Dream. dream
Wisdom • Reason – Examine your assumptions. • Common Sense – What results are you getting? • Intuition – What do you already know? dream
Soul’s Desire • Will not cause innocents to suffer. • Happiness, Contentment, Patience • Grateful, Optimistic dream
What is Your Dream? Relationships Lifestyle Career Growth Leadership
What is Your ? Dream
American. Dream. Project. org
We Live 3 Lives Birth – 25……. . Self Discovery 26 – 50………. . . Experience 50 +……………. Wisdom dream It’s not too late to live your Dream Life. dream
What if there was another way? The greatest good for the greatest number produces the greatest good for each individual. - John Nash dream
CHOOSE
Join the st 21 Century Revolution Find Your Voice Act for the Common Good
Swim or Surf
Promise Broken? • • • Failure of Leadership. Decline of Middle Class. Cost of Education Skyrocketing. Society is not Designed to Produce Happiness. Social Trends of Gen 21 dream
BOOMER WORLD: Dream or Nightmare Pleasure + Goals = • OVER Work • OVER Stress • Over Consumption dream
The Dream Gap • Boomers are perplexed. • Real work, real meaning, right now! • Business must be hothouse for personal & professional growth. dream
Our Children Can’t Afford Homes Education Insurance
Revolutions Rising Tide of Change 1. Declaration of Independence “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” 2. Gettysburg Address & Emancipation Proclamation “…By the people, for the people. ” 3. New Deal to Civil Rights “I have a dream. ” 4. Noo Future “We have 40 years to save the world. ” POP CULTURE OPRAH CLOONEY Social Justice BONO PITT/JOLIE PHILANTHROPY GATES Heal the World CLINTON GOOGLE BUFFET BUSH 1 EBAY SUSTAINABILITY PATAGONIA The Storm “Is this the best we can do? ” LIFE LIBERTY HAPPINESS GE WINDMILLS Zero Waste WAL-MART SUNEDISON SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY NIKE GAP Labor Rights SA 8000 PERSONAL MEANING BOOMER GEN 21 Save the Future REDEMPTION MAKE A DIFFERENCE
What’s Happening? Cost of Gas up 160% Home Prices up 325% School Tuition up 330%
Gen 21 • • Don’t want Boomer World (Over work, over stressed, over stuffed) Want Families that Work Want the Truth, not Spin, not Hype Want More than Success – a Life They Value and Enjoy Their Dream is Their Career Real Work/Real Meaning/Real Rewards Want to Make Their Difference dream
Gen 21’s Confusion Relationships – Avoid Commitment Materialism – Take What You Can Get Work – Too Many Choices / No Choices dream
Revolutions What is Your Dream? Rising Tide of Change 1. Declaration of Independence “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” United Voice & Vision Greatest good for each and all Universal Principles POP CULTURE 2. Gettysburg Address & Emancipation Proclamation “…By the people, for the people. ” 3. New Deal to Civil Rights “I have a dream. ” OPRAH BONO 4. Noo Future “We have 40 years to save the world. ” CLOONEY Social Justice PITT/JOLIE BUFFET Heal the World CLINTON BUSH 1 EBAY GOOGLE SUSTAINABILITY PATAGONIA WAL-MART Zero Waste “Is this the best we can do? ” LIFE SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY NIKE Labor Rights GAP HAPPINESS SA 8000 What is Your Promise? New Enterprise Model (GTV) PERSONAL MEANING GEN 21 LIBERTY American Dream Project SUNEDISON GE WINDMILLS The Storm Personal Action Design + Desire + Drive PHILANTHROPY GATES Life, Liberty & Pursuit of Happiness BOOMER Save the Future MAKE A DIFFERENCE New Education Model (Free Lifelong Learning) REDEMPTION New Civic Model (Common Good)
Dream Life Requirements 1. Conscious Integrity 2. Willful Choice 3. Creative Effort 4. Morally Significant Goals Source: Chris Peterson 2006
4 American Revolutions More Happiness I S I CR S REVOLUTION More Suffering
Cause is Always the Same. Private Greed + Public Corruption + Economic/Social/Technological Change Threatens Our Future
3 Paths to Your Dreams • Early Insight • Reflective Walk • Active Exploration Life has Chapters. dream
The World Needs Your Dream and Your Leadership
The Grid Media-Financial Complex
What do we want? Independence Change Growth the World Wisdom Still Be Home Security for Dinner Belonging Source: M. Mark
Traps of Fear (Independence) Willfulness Pleasure (Growth) FEAR Stuff (Security) Controlling (Belonging) Prime Directive + Prime Motive are necessary to avoid the traps of fear.
5 Sources of Anxiety 1. Personal Confusion 2. Emotional Anxiety 3. Reality Distortion 4. Relationship Difficulties 5. Spiritual Uncertainty
What we want: Fulfillment Make a difference WORK LOVE PLAY Relationships Personal Interests Change the World and Still Be Home for Dinner
1 st Catastrophic Error I Can Mange My Time Better and Find Fulfillment. “If I schedule time with my children, my spouse and at the gym, I will feel balanced. ” PROBLEM: Life cannot be scheduled Trying to balance leads to more anxiety. Balance is not fulfillment.
2 nd Catastrophic Error I Can Achieve My Way to Fulfillment. “If I do what I should…” 1. I will be acceptable, loveable, appreciated. 2. My life will turn out the way I need it to. 3. I will feel fulfilled…insecure, confident, perfectionist. PROBLEM: Salt water will not quench your thirst.
3 rd Catastrophic Error Magical Thinking will Make Me Happy. “If I follow my heart, live my dream, find my bliss… I will be fulfilled. ” PROBLEM: Self deception can lead to a counterfeit calling.
Identity Truth Wisdom Autonomy Love
Our Thinking is Thoughtless • 40, 000 Thoughts per Day: Random, Repetitive, Unfocused • 95% of our Decisions: Unconscious, Habitual and Unreflective • Thinking is Dominated by: Bias and Confusion Often Resulting in Self-inflicted Misery.
The Truth is Always More Than we Know E=MC 2 The Universe: 4 % is Matter we Understand 23% is Dark Matter 73% is Dark Energy “Not everything that counts can be counted. ” - Albert Einstein
The Quality of our Thinking Determines the Quality of our Lives Action Chain Action Emotions Evaluation Perception
How We Think Intuitive Inner Self Practical Outer Self Analytical Self Concept
High Achievers Thinking Intuitive Inner Self Practical Outer Self Analytical Self Concept
Just Who Do You Think You Are? Identity Values Results Integrity Thoughts Actions Decisions What happens if we are true to ourselves? If we are dysfunctional? Conforming? What are my Values? Thoughts? Decisions?
Wisdom is the Insight to use Knowledge, Judgment and Virtue for the Greatest Good. …to Think and Act in a way that results in fulfillment.
The Path to Wisdom is Focused Listening The Right answers require the Right questions. 8 Wisdom Questions
How am I going to Change the World? PRIME DIRECTIVE TALENT PURPOSE DESIRE
Am I a Slugbot? Am I a Slug?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 1 What am I? • I am not my body… • I am not my emotions… • I am not my thoughts… • I am not my roles… WHAT AM I? Belief Traps
Who is making my decisions? Stress pushes us to lower levels of consciousness. If decisions are driven by: • My body…. Food, sleep • Emotions…. Shopping, sex • Mental anxiety…. Drinking, drugs, sports • Roles…perfectionistic demands
Virtue: Values that are Habits 8 Questions: Wisdom Question 2 What virtues do I most admire?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 3 What am I great at? • What do you receive COMPLIMENTS for? • What would you do for FREE? • What do you LOVE to do that you do WELL?
Virtues Finding our PRIME DIRECTIVE Character Talent Weakness Competence Clues to Talent: • Success Stories Ability • Competent Feedback • Positive Energy • Who you Admire
What do I want? Your talent is the light that illuminates what your soul wants. Talent + Desire + Purpose
Disaster Movie or Hero’s Journey? We are clear on what we don’t want. 1. Illness 2. Poverty 3. Loneliness 4. Boredom 5. Powerlessness 6. Meaninglessness
Hero’s Journey: Adult Maturity Thought Fulfilling Choice Will Transcendent Autonomous Conscientious Functional Responsibilities Conforming Dysfunctional Wants Manipulative Impulsive 35% 55% 10%
Autonomy requires the highest level of personal maturity and wisdom. It requires nothing less than a new understanding of who we are. • Is able to ask for what you desire • See multiple points of view without being confused (both/and) • Patient and decisive • Persistent and flexible • Can act in ambiguous circumstance • Clear on personal gifts and shortcomings • Passionate interests and experiences joy • Has a clear sense of purpose
Positive Vision 8 Questions: Wisdom Question 4 Meaning What does my Soul Desire? Inspires You Desire Drudgery Can Do Well Talent Do want Don’t want Work Family Friends Romantic partner Health Passionate interests Service Legacy
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 5 What does it matter?
Purpose Desir e The source of all human purpose is Service Restless Empty Purpose Driven Talent Meaning is not determined by Size of Impact. Purpose will change with Time.
To Be Fulfilled: To Become Conscious of Our Lives’ Significance Observe our lives from the viewpoint of our souls. • What happens - is least important. • Our motives, our gifts, our learning – are most important. • Soul’s wisdom reveals what’s most important – where we are growing and where we are stuck. All we have to do is… ASK!
PRIME DIRECTIVE Integrity = Engaging in your Prime Directive 80% of your time.
Still Be Home for Dinner PRIME MOTIVE It is not how you schedule your time – it is how you live your life that will determine your level of fulfillment. Love and Truth are the Mother and Father of all virtue.
We are all Character Actors SITUATION: LOVED ONE “Don’t Worry, I’ll Clean the Car. ” • Loving Concern • Being Right What is your “come from? ”
Intrinsic Love - + + - - ++ -
All Feelings Decay into a Concept Practical: Are you meeting my needs? Analytical: Are you doing what you are supposed to? - + + -- +
REAL Love Intrinsic Practical 1. Understand + 2. Affirm Systemic + 3. Involve - ++ -
Romance TIME TOUCH THOUGHTFULNESS
LOVE as a PRIME MOTIVE Love from Your Soul • No manipulators or bullies allowed. • Neither needy or demanding. • Focus on strengths; quirks don’t matter.
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 6 What can I do to Love more powerfully? When Real Love is our PRIME MOTIVE, what happens?
TRUTH as a PRIME MOTIVE Are you a virtuous idiot or an evil genius? Love without Truth – Masochistic fool Truth without Love – Sadistic dictator If Love is Heat, Truth is Light.
Truth Telling HIDDEN Peacemaker OPEN 1 Influencer • Passive • Respectful • Avoid Conflict • Enthusiastic • Agreeable • Authentic/ Sincere Goal: Harmony Goal: Shared Reality Result: Depression Manipulator 4 Result: Trust Bully 2 3 • Passive Aggressive • Blame • Aggressive • Threaten • Deceive • Criticize • Dominate • Force • Guilt • Victim • Demand • Insist Goal: Control Goal: Win Result: Low Trust Result: Isolation
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 7 What do I already know? Find the Truth within. Listen for the Wisdom of your soul. Truth requires: • Courage • Hunger • Humility
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 8 What can I do, now?
Pursuit of Truth High Achiever Maximizer • Believes in the myth of the right choice. • Needs to examine all choices. • Keeps options open. • Drowns in the anxiety of over-choice. • Loses contact with truth. • Knows what they want. • Believes in making the choice right. • Engages in progressive action. • Commits to valuing their choice. • Discovers more truth.
Matterhorn or Splatterhorn
Enjoy Prime Directive Fulfillment Self Absorbed Fulfillment Emptiness Self Discipline Value Prime Motive
The Feather of Truth Prime Directive: Your Gift Prime Motive: Your Character SCALE OF LIFE
Change the World and Still Be Home for Dinner Leave with a Loving Heart an Open Mind and No Regrets.
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