Were in this together Engaging Parents Families in

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We’re in this together! Engaging Parents & Families in CSHP! Barbara Flis Parent Action

We’re in this together! Engaging Parents & Families in CSHP! Barbara Flis Parent Action for Healthy Kids 248 -538 -7786 [email protected] org www. parentactionforhealthykids. org 1

Today’s Agenda n n Re-framing our perception of parents Breaking down the barriers. Tools

Today’s Agenda n n Re-framing our perception of parents Breaking down the barriers. Tools & resources for authentic engagement Creating a plan for engaging parents and families 2

Re-Framing our Perception of Parents 3

Re-Framing our Perception of Parents 3

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Making lemonade out of lemons! 5

Making lemonade out of lemons! 5

The Perfect Parent? It’s an ILLUSION!!! 6

The Perfect Parent? It’s an ILLUSION!!! 6

Perception of Parent Support! 7

Perception of Parent Support! 7

Defining Success for Parent Engagement n What would success look like? n A success

Defining Success for Parent Engagement n What would success look like? n A success is a success no matter how small! 8

Parent Paradigm Treated as a pain Seen as a pain Behaves as a pain

Parent Paradigm Treated as a pain Seen as a pain Behaves as a pain Treated as a partner Seen as a partner Behaves as a partner 9

Understanding Parent Emotions 10

Understanding Parent Emotions 10

System Organizations Schools ~ Healthcare ~ Governmental How do we help others understand work

System Organizations Schools ~ Healthcare ~ Governmental How do we help others understand work within the system ? 11

When parents hit a brick wall within the system sometimes they become: 12

When parents hit a brick wall within the system sometimes they become: 12

Something to Ponder For people in distress will sometimes prefer a problem that is

Something to Ponder For people in distress will sometimes prefer a problem that is familiar to a solution that is not. Source: Neil Postman, The End of Education 13

Assumptions That Sabotage n n n n There must be a problem or parents

Assumptions That Sabotage n n n n There must be a problem or parents wouldn’t be there All that parents need is information Once parents have more information they will be able to put it into practice Parents know the resources available to them and how to use them There is a common language There is a shared level of education There is a common culture 14

Symptoms of Conflict n n Judging … who you are Characterizing … what you

Symptoms of Conflict n n Judging … who you are Characterizing … what you do Attributing … motives to explain why you do it Dictating … solutions to perceived problems Source: D. B. Moore 2004 15

The Path of Meaning Event Observation Conclusions Emotions Actions Source: Better Than Duct Tape:

The Path of Meaning Event Observation Conclusions Emotions Actions Source: Better Than Duct Tape: Dialogue Tools for Getting Results and Getting Along. By Patterson, Grenny, Mc. Millan, and Switzler 16

Breaking Down Barriers This is what we know! 17

Breaking Down Barriers This is what we know! 17

Trust “No, I don’t understand my husband’s theory of relativity, but I know my

Trust “No, I don’t understand my husband’s theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be trusted. ” Elsa Einstein 18

Choose Words Carefully Need to Want to Have to Choose to Should Would like

Choose Words Carefully Need to Want to Have to Choose to Should Would like to Source: Medicine of the Cherokee by Garrett, J. T. & Garrett, M. 19

What are you communicating? 90% of message is appearance and body language (non-verbals) 3%

What are you communicating? 90% of message is appearance and body language (non-verbals) 3% of message is words (what you say) 7% of message is how you say it 20

Assessed in First 30 Seconds Empathy and/or Caring Competence & Expertise Commitment & Dedication

Assessed in First 30 Seconds Empathy and/or Caring Competence & Expertise Commitment & Dedication Honesty & Openness 21

How you behave toward people will be determined by how you view them. This

How you behave toward people will be determined by how you view them. This will determine how they view you and how they behave toward you. ACTIVITY 22

Rankings of Place in the Community n Ace to 10 n n 9 to

Rankings of Place in the Community n Ace to 10 n n 9 to 6 n n Live a comfortable life Doing OK 5 to 2 n Struggling 23

Remember …. People who are perceived to have the least amount of power are

Remember …. People who are perceived to have the least amount of power are often the best observers! 24

Cup of ENERGY! 25

Cup of ENERGY! 25

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An idea I had. . . 27

An idea I had. . . 27

Less is More! 28

Less is More! 28

What do you want parents to do? 29

What do you want parents to do? 29

List what you want parents to do Prioritize the list Name the top three

List what you want parents to do Prioritize the list Name the top three 30

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Healthy Behaviors n n n n Wear a seat belt every time you drive

Healthy Behaviors n n n n Wear a seat belt every time you drive or ride in a car. Brush your teeth at least twice a day Eat four or more servings of fruit or vegetables a day. Get 7 -8 hours of sleep each night Never drive more than five miles an hour over the speed limit Exercise at least three times a week Follow the schedule for age-appropriate check-ups/physical examinations 34

C S H T E A M Family/ Community Involvement Health Education Health Promotion

C S H T E A M Family/ Community Involvement Health Education Health Promotion for Staff Physical Education Health Services Healthy School Environment Nutrition Services Counseling, Psychological & Social Services 35

Think Big - Environment • Ala Carte Sales Healthy Food • School Parties Availability

Think Big - Environment • Ala Carte Sales Healthy Food • School Parties Availability Peer Influence • Fundraisers Nutrition Education • School Stores Healthy Food • Vending Taste • Boosters • School Board Competitive • Athletics Foods Parent • Student Clubs Knowledge Food Choices Staff Role Modeling Open Campus Federally Regulated School Meal Program Breakfast Lunch Physical Activity Time to eat 36

Tips For Working With Parents n n n n n A positive approach Simple

Tips For Working With Parents n n n n n A positive approach Simple language Sensitivity toward differences Sense of fun Relationships built on trust Don’t underestimate the power of one parent Listen, listen Be real Celebrate small steps Remember to say “thanks” and to give credit

An idea I had. . . 38

An idea I had. . . 38

Constructing a Plan! 39

Constructing a Plan! 39

What is your Intention 40

What is your Intention 40

Building a Foundation n n Getting to know each other Creating an environment for

Building a Foundation n n Getting to know each other Creating an environment for open and honest dialogue Building Trust Laying the ground work Moving to solutions 41

Consider the following: n n n Less is more Focus on one behavior Give

Consider the following: n n n Less is more Focus on one behavior Give a clear message, and continually reinforce that message Provide basic, accurate information Include a skill based activity Ask for accountability – Mini Action Plan 42

Brainstorming 43

Brainstorming 43

Building an Action Plan n Single best idea n n Steps to getting there

Building an Action Plan n Single best idea n n Steps to getting there … who will do what? Date to be completed 44

We’ll show you the love! 45

We’ll show you the love! 45

I practice what I preach! This is not a “spray & pray” training. Please

I practice what I preach! This is not a “spray & pray” training. Please feel free to contact me with any questions, successes, or bumps in the road that you encounter! Barbara Flis, Founder Parent Action for Healthy Kids 248 -538 -7786 [email protected] org www. parentactionforhealthykids. org 46