Welcome to Bob Heavers bobprioritydenver com 1 The

Welcome to Bob Heavers bob@prioritydenver. com 1

The Success Model LEADS TO Understanding Behavior and Appropriate Responses INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS LEADS TO SUCCESS 2

Two Indisputable Truths We need each other. What we give to others, unconditionally, will always come back in equal or greater proportion. 3

People Skills What adjectives would you use to describe the people who seem to get under your skin most quickly … the ones you find it hardest to tolerate? 4

People Skills When it comes to the way you interact with other people, what would you like to be able to do better? What would other people like to see you do better? 5

Definitions Behavior — What you say (verbal) and do (non-verbal) Interpersonal Behavior — What you say and do when interacting with one or more people SOCIAL STYLEsm— A particular pattern of actions that others can observe and agree upon for describing one’s behavior Personality — The combination of ideas, values, hopes, dreams, attitudes, abilities, as well as the behavior that others can observe that encompasses everything a person is Observable Behavior Personality 6

Assertiveness Asking with Some Telling ASKS D More Asking C More Telling B A TELLS Telling with Some Asking A dimension of behavior that measures the degree to which others perceive a person as tending to ask or tell in interactions with others. 7

Responsiveness CONTROLS More Controlling 1 2 Emoting With Some Controlling with Some Emoting A dimension of behavior that measures the degree to which others perceive a person as tending to control or display their feelings and emotions when interacting. 3 4 More Emoting EMOTES 8

Analytical Serious Exacting Indecisive Logical CONTROLS SOCIAL STYLE Model Driving Independent Formal Practical Dominating TELLS ASKS EMOTES Amiable Dependable Supportive Pliable Open TM Expressive Animated Forceful Opinionated Impulsive 9

Definitions Style Need — The general goal of each style, indicated by the observed behaviors associated with that particular SOCIAL STYLE Position. Style Orientation — The typical/observed behavior of each SOCIAL STYLE, used to obtain the style need. Style Growth Action — Those behaviors that are infrequently used in favor of the more preferred behaviors of each style; viewed by others as the greatest weakness of that particular style. Not taking our style growth action can lead to unproductive interpersonal relationships. 10

Definitions Backup Behavior An exaggerated form of style behaviors used by a person to reduce tension within the relationship that caused the tension. 11

Tension Productivity Model Appropriate Level of Tension = PRODUCTIVITY HIGH Low Level of Tension = High Productivity Low Productivity High Level of Tension = Tension — A force which stimulates activity. Low Productivity LOW TENSION HIGH 12

Backup Behavior Model AVOIDS AUTOCRATIC Analytical BACKUP CONTROLS BACKUP ASKS BACKUP ACQUIESCES TELLS EMOTES Amiable Driving Backup Behavior — An exaggerated form of style behaviors used by a person to reduce tension within the relationship that caused the tension. Expressive BACKUP ATTACKS 13

Analytical Need: To Be Right Orientation: Thinking Growth Action: To Declare CONTROLS Key Characteristics of the Social Styles Driving Need: Results Orientation: Action Growth Action: To Listen TELLS ASKS Expressive Amiable EMOTES Need: Personal Security Orientation: Relationships Growth Action: To Initiate Need: Personal Approval Orientation: Spontaneity Growth Action: To Check 14

What are the Pluses and the Minuses of each Social Style? 15

SOCIAL STYLE Model ANALYTICAL DRIVING C 1 CONTROLS D TM B A 1 2 2 ASKS TELLS 3 3 D AMIABLE C EMOTES 4 4 B A EXPRESSIVE 16

Versatility Behaviors Seen as Focusing on My Tension W Low Versatility Behaviors Seen as Focusing on Others’ Tension X Y Z High Versatility — A measure of the level of social endorsement accorded to an individual by others. 17

Four Sources of Social Endorsement APPROPRIATE USE OF IMAGE PRESENTATION COMPETENCE FEEDBACK Leads to SOCIAL ENDORSEMENT (Versatility) 18

Steps for Earning Endorsement 1. Know Yourself 2. Control Yourself 3. Know Others 4. Do Something for Others 19

Under-The-Bracket Model B A Under-the-Bracket Behavior (Say/Do) Traits Honest Intelligent Arrogant Motivated Self-Centered Sincere Critical C Judgments I like him. He annoys me. She interests me. He irritates me. I distrust her. I hate him. I trust him. Observable Behavior Say Do Quiet - Loud Slower-paced - Faster-paced Facially controlled - Facially animated Monotone voice - Inflected voice Indirect eye contact - Direct eye contact Casual posture - Rigid posture Leans back - Leans forward 20

· Monotone · Task Subjects · Facts/Data · Rigid Posture · Inflection · People Subjects · Opinions/Stories · Casual Posture · Less Hand Movement · Controlled Facial Expressions TELLS EMOTES · Slower Pace · Fewer Statements · Non-directive/ Relaxed Use of ASKS Hands · Quieter Volume · Leans Back · Indirect Eye Contact CONTROLS Under-The-Bracket Behaviors · Faster Pace · More Statements · Directive Use of Hands/Points for Emphasis · Louder Volume · Leans Forward · Direct Eye Contact · More Hand Movement · Animated Facial Expressions 21

Rules for Observing Style 1. Avoid trying to define a style too quickly. 2. Get out of the way. 3. Learn to observe more accurately and describe what a person does without making early “good, ” “bad” or “why” judgments. 4. Separate style clues from assigned authority or role. 5. Moderate stress clarifies style. 6. Set the stage for the person being observed. 22

The PRO Strategy 1. Acknowledge other’s style NEED, 2. Encourage other’s style ORIENTATION, 3. Take your style GROWTH ACTION, 4. Help others take their GROWTH ACTION. 23

My Pro-Action Plan Name of other person: ______________________________ Other’s Style: Driving Expressive Amiable Results Personal Approval Personal Security Other’s Orientation: Action Spontaneity Relationships Thinking My Growth Action: To Listen To Check To Initiate To Declare Other’s Need: Analytical To Be Right I will acknowledge his/her style need by: _____________________________________________________________ I will encourage his/her style orientation by: ___________________________________________________________ I will take my growth action by: ________________________________________________________________ I will help him/her take his/her growth action by: _________________________________________________________ 24