Welcome from Dave Vizard Email Dave on davebehaviourmatters

Welcome from Dave Vizard

E-mail Dave on dave@behaviourmatters. com To get a free copy of one of Dave’s books subscribe to his free monthly newsletter on behaviour matters at : www. behavioursolutions. com

SAME CHILDREN…. DIFFERENT EMOTIONAL STARTING PLACES : USING EMOTIONAL LITERACY TO ENGAGE DISAFFECTED STUDENTS

ADULTS SOMETIMES GET IT WRONG

A PUPIL’S PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE PART ONE

PARENTS REALLY DO MATTER

‘Children enter school at different emotional starting places. ’ Elias, Hunter & Cross 2001

WHAT IS YOUR EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT?

WHY DO THEY ENTER AT DIFFERENT EMOTIONAL STARTING PLACES?

‘Catastrophic breakdown of parenting, emotional chaos and absence of love and care in their disorderly homes increasingly results in aggression as their instinctive response to the slightest setback. ’ Students do not have appropriate adult role models to support them.

EARLY YEARS HARSH, NEGLECTFUL PARENTING TOXIC EFFECT ON SOCIAL BRAIN Many young people have very stressful lifestyles which can lead to changes in behaviour. Gerhardt (2008) suggests that harsh, neglectful parenting and early separation from parent or attachment figure can play a significant part in the development of anti-social behaviour. Tremblay et al. (2004) states that young mothers who are unsupported by good personal relationships will fail to teach their children how to regulate their aggression. Gerhardt goes on to state that if a young person experiences undue stress in early years then cortisol, the stress hormone that is released, will have a toxic effect on the ‘social brain’ and can handicap its development which can lead to inappropriate interactions.

UK CHILDREN MENTAL HEALTH EPIDEMIC UK CHILDREN SUFFER FROM SEVERE EMOTIONAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS The Good Childhood Inquiry (2008) found that over one million children aged 5 -16 have a clinically recognised mental disorder ranging from depression, anxiety and anorexia to violent delinquency. The report stated that these mental health problems are occurring in increasing numbers and was described as a mental health epidemic. It discovered a growing proportion of UK children suffer from severe emotional and psychological distress.

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE FOR REMEDIAL CARE & NURTURE – BEHAVIOURS CAN BE CHANGED The behaviour of some disaffected students is such that staff feel that they are unable to modify their behaviour. Blakemore et al (2005) suggested that it is never too late for remedial care and nurture and that behaviours can be changed. Blakemore et al (2005) when talking about environmental deprivation referred to babies found in orphanages in Romania following the fall of Ceaucescu. Many showed signs of autisticlike patterns of behaviour. It was found, however, that most babies made a full recovery by being placed in caring families with remedial stimulation. Schools can, through nurture, make a difference.

TEACHERS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AS CHILDREN DO A LOT OF EMOTIONAL LEARNING AT SCHOOL LANDSCAPING OF THE BRAIN Gerhardt (2008) states that teachers can make a difference with the most difficult learners as children do a lot of emotional learning in school. Positive long term care can make a difference. Blakemore suggests that individual brains like individual bodies are different from each other, but there is almost nothing that cannot improve or change. She suggests that education may be considered a kind of landscaping of the brain and educators are in a sense like gardeners. Given the number of disengaged and disaffected students with whom we work it is important that we remain positive and supportive and through the landscaping of their brains we help them to become successful learners.

THE BRAIN DIMENSION

Neo-cortex Limbic system Corpus callosum Reptilian brain

• PHYSIOLOGICAL CONDITIONS • PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITIONS • ADDICTIONS – ALCHOL , DRUGS , GAMBLING • YOUNG OFFENDERS – CRIME • FACTORY FARMING • FAMILY • MENTAL HEALTH • YOUTH SUB-CULTURE • MEDIA – TV, RADIO, INTERNET, MAGAZINES, COMPUTER GAMES • FOOD & DRINK

PHYSIOLOGICAL CONDITIONS Hormonal ‘Ping Pong’ Erratic & differentiated biological change in adolescence like flying through turbulence without a safety belt

PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITIONS - Low Self – Esteem / Vulnerable - Inappropriate Problem Solving Style - Through Feelings Of Inadequacy - Perceived Lack Of Ability - To Avoid Work - Kudos by failing – “I’m successful by failing. I am very good at being bad. ” - Disaffection- hostile/oppositional/ covert

• ADDICTIONS § Drugs 11% of 11 -15 year olds use cigarettes 22% of 11 -15 year olds use alcohol 12% of 11 -15 year olds use cannabis 7% of 11 -15 year olds use volatile substances such as glue 4% of 11 -15 year olds use class A drugs such as heroin Source: NHS Info Centre (2006) reported by Susan Greenfield TES Magazine 26/01/07

• Gambling Study of 8000 students by BMA found that 17% play a Fruit Machine at least once a week. Boys play them more than girls. 6% of adolescent fruit machine players are ‘pathological gamblers. ’ Young people are more vulnerable to the negative effect of gambling. Truancy, Stealing, poor work and aggressive behaviour are some of the consequences

• CRIME Sir John Stevens, Metropolitan Police Commissioner when speaking about crime in his area: • Youngsters steeped in hard drugs and starved of civilised values • Too many of them committing crimes was now an unexceptional event 70% of all offenders under 18 They commit 72% of all robberies 55% of street crime 57% of thefts • Parents reneged on what they were teaching their children • These youngsters have a complete acceptance of drugs in their everyday lives

• Family life unknown in many cases. Single parents with children of different ages and by different partners • Devoid of any familiar role model – males and females form gangs – to give them some identity • Youth gang members of today will be parents of tomorrow • Lack of conversation/sharing meals at table/electronic nanny society • Employment/taxing skewed to have both parents working • Parents bullied and intimidated by all sorts of new legislation. Government encourages even single parents out to work • Roughness in every day encounters which makes life more raucous • Young people, even victims of crime, have a cultural reluctance to be seen as a grass Sir John Stevens, Former Metropolitan Police Commissioner

YOUNG OFFENDERS • chaotic backgrounds –abusive • drug abuse • eating disorders/ self-harming • from minority-ethnic backgrounds • with learning disabilities • with mental health issues They are frightened angry about their circumstances. There is a high probability of them exhibiting difficult & problematic behaviours.

• FACTORY FARMING • Testing culture § Risk Averse • FAMILY Scholarisation of childhood gives parents dilemmas All rights no responsibility Parents looking for someone to save their child Adults try to play out and live their children’s lives Highly permissive parenting – ‘Pester Power’ of children Rapidly changing social scene

FAMILY Homelessness - Poverty / Richness - Violence - Divorce / Serial relationships - Disintegration of nuclear & extended family - Inappropriate parenting / Inappropriate / aggressive role models - Not used to firm boundaries - Grunt Generation – television dens - Emotional Upset - Physical / Emotional / Sexual Abuse - Weekend/ Latchkey kids - Promiscuous activity

• YOUNG CARERS • LOOKED AFTER CHILDREN • LOSS, SEPARATION, BEREAVEMENT & DIVORCE • ITINERANT STUDENTS – high levels of mobility • STRESSFUL LIFESTYLES - High Stress @ 28 weeks of pregnancy. Higher levels of poor behaviour by 5 years - PTSD – in 3% of learners • MENTAL HEALTH § Depression – 1 in 7 children aged 5 clinically de pressed § Self Harm and Eating Disorders § Suicidal tendencies – 2 -4% of adolescents have attempted suicide

• YOUTH SUB-CULTURE § Clothing § Alcohol § Promiscuous activity § bullying (racial, homophobic, sexual harassment) § conformists known as ‘freaks’

MEDIA TELEVISION • TV now the most formative social influence. Shouting, bad language, casual violence, vulgarity, ‘in-yer-face’ aggressive behaviour are the norm. ‘Children arriving at school disrupted. ’ Mary Kenny • 335 murders, every 2 weeks on 5 terrestrial channels • Number of violent scenes has doubled in past 4 years • More violent scenes on British Television before 9 pm watershed than after • Desensitisation because of over-exposure to violence ‘if you watch violence you may become brutish’ • You are unable to differentiate between fiction and reality. Particularly in a young persons mind

RADIO / MUSIC - Multi-channel entertainment in homes – difficult to gate -keep - Music lyrics - Aural Slime on radio. Rise in unsuitable content, bad language, sexual innuendo MAGAZINES - Teenage magazines – many exploitative and corruptive Message is - ‘Be loud, suggestive and crude’ INTERNET - Internet violent images - Chat rooms - Violent video games desensitising students

COMPUTER / VIDEO GAMES Violent video games desensitising students • Whose values underpin & are communicated through the gaming material currently available? • When young men watched violent video Games their brain chemistry was affected. Brain activity in the emotional regions of the brain –anterior cingulate cortex & the amygdala was reduced - thus limiting an individuals capacity for empathy/ sympathy & increasing their capacity to eliminate opponents. Based on a study by Klaus Mathiak in The Psychologist – Vol 18 – 8 2005 • AMYGDALA

• When faced with cognitively challenging tasks adolescents who frequently played violent video games showed frontal lobe activity in game players similar to adolescents diagnosed with disruptive behaviour disorder. Professor Mark Griffiths - Nottingham Trent University

20 minutes of children playing video games can de-sensitise players to real life brutality. • Latest research from Indiana University’s School Of Medicine involved 44 adolescents playing either a violent or non-violent video game for 30 minutes before brains were scanned. Those who had played the violent game showed less activity in the parts of their brains involved in inhibition, concentration & selfcontrol. • Nottingham Trent University found that 1 in 9 children who spend hours playing on-line games display the same signs of addiction as drug users & gamblers.

Brains developing to prepare them for life in the context in which they find themselves. Some of many varied influences (e. g. immersion in the screen culture) may be the same influences which cause a rise in the incidence of depression, hyperactivity and deficits in attention.

• FOOD & DRINK § Additives / colourings- ‘additives cause damage to the pyschological health of children. ’ Professor Stevenson Southampton University § Processed Food § Stimulant Drinks, behaviour and diuretic effects § Importance of zinc and iron in diet § Fish oil supplements

• ‘Hold me over’ snacks in afternoon to compensate for later evening meals • 60% more confectionary is consumed by 10 – 13 year olds in UK compared with Holland & France who are second in junk food league table • At the start of the day 25% of British school children have just crisps or sweets for breakfast. 17% arrive having eaten nothing

DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL LITERACY

SOCIAL & EMOTIONAL ASPECTS OF LEARNING The categorizing of these social and emotional skills is based on Goleman’s (1996) five domains or components of emotional intelligence: • Self-awareness • Managing feelings • Motivation • Empathy • Social Skills.

The SEAL strategy outlines ways that a school might teach the five domains across the curriculum. For example: Managing feelings • Consider how people feel as part of everyday discussions. • Use everyday incidents to coach students in their responses. Teach students calming techniques. • How to develop empathy • Storytelling. • Demonstrate and model empathy. • Promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. How to Develop Social Skills • Encourage peer mediation and conflict resolution. • Encourage co-operative learning and group projects.

Emotional Literacy The ability to recognise, understand, handle & appropriately express emotions…. . using your emotions to help yourself & others succeed Sharp [2001] It is the process of learning the 5 components of Emotional Intelligence

COMPONENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE • Self-Awareness – a conscious understanding of feelings • Emotional Management – how to effectively manage feelings in socially appropriate ways • Responsibility and Self-motivation • Empathy • Social Competence – an ability to resolve interpersonal issues

What are the benefits for students where a school uses Emotional Literacy Emotional Self-Awareness • Improvement in recognising and naming own emotions • Better able to understand the causes of feelings • Recognising the difference between feelings and actions Managing Emotions • More thinking before acting • Better frustration tolerance and anger management • Fewer verbal put-downs, fights and classroom disruptions • Better able to express anger appropriately, without fighting • Fewer suspensions and expulsions • Less aggressive or self-destructive behaviour • More positive feelings about self, school ad family • Better at handling stress • Less loneliness and social anxiety • Better self control

Harnessing Emotions Productively • More responsible • Better able to focus on the task at hand pat attention • Less impulsive, more self-control • Improved scores on achievement tests Empathy: Reading Emotions • Better able to take another person’s perspective • Improved empathy and sensitivity to other’s feelings • Better at listening to others

Handling Relationships: • Increased ability to analyse and understand relationships • Better at resolving conflicts and negotiating disagreements • Better at solving problems in relationships • More assertive and skilled at communicating • More popular and outgoing; friendly and involved with peers • More sought out by peers • More concerned and considerate • More “pro-social” and harmonious in groups • More sharing, cooperation and helpfulness • More democratic in dealing with others • More positive classroom atmosphere. More harmonious • More assertive

For Special-Needs Students Improved classroom behaviour on: • Frustration tolerance • Assertive social skills • Task orientation • Peer skills • Sharing • Sociability • Self-control Improved Emotional Understanding • Decreases in reports of sadness and depression • Decrease in anxiety and withdrawal

NURTURING EMOTIONAL LITERACY BEGINS WITH THE SELF Successful learning is dependent on healthy emotional well-being. The learner should feel safe from physical and emotional harm; feel valued as an individual; feel empowered by belonging to a caring community; experience challenging but achievable learning tasks and succeed. Emotions are an ignition switch for learning. Learning is an emotional experience which involves confidence and risk taking Emotional well-being helps or hinders the learning, it is never neutral. EMOTIONS MOTIVATE US TO LEARN NEW INFORMATION

Powerful emotions can also disrupt our ability to think and reason. Positive emotions influence concentration, memory, problem solving and learning skills. Emotional difficulties can become a significant barrier to learning. Through addressing the emotional needs for all children, the most vulnerable will also be supported. The emotional climate of the school and classroom is very important.

Children who are emotionally competent are at an advantage in every area of life – they are more likely to lead happy and productive lives and to master the habits of mind that will assure them success [personal and career] as adults. In schools where Ei is nurtured with the same concern as IQ then children will: Tolerate frustration better Get into fewer fights Engage in less destructive behaviour Are healthier Are less lonely Are less impulsive Are more focussed

• A positive classroom climate includes ‘feeling emotionally supported in the classroom, so that pupils are willing to try new things and learn from mistakes. ’ Hay Mc. Ber 2000

THE JOHARI WINDOW

Circle Time helps students to open their minds & set sights on new horizons

SELF-ESTEEM

Low self-esteem • • • Perceived lack of ability Factory farming Feelings of inadequacy – low self-esteem Gain kudos by ‘being good at being bad’ Need to give out ‘emotional small change’

Many students gather ‘learning baggage’ which can weigh them down. Many students are non-learners – their minds have become de-programmed. Many students are unable to switch on to learn something if your most basic needs are not met. Maslow outlined these in his Hierarchy of Needs.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

• Self actualisation High EL & recognised by others as such • Self-esteem High EL, self aware & motivated • Belonging / social Medium EL, empathy, caring & self awareness • Safety needs [security] Low El , preoccupation with forming attachments & feeling secure • Physiological needs Base El level, centred on fight and flight response

What do students believe? • I find it difficult to relate to others, so I believe that no-one likes me and I have no friends • No-one values me • I can not learn and I am stupid • I find many tasks too risky- I’ll look stupid if I get them wrong so I won’t try • I don’t want to get too close to people so I avoid situations that would enable me to get close to others • I often feel anxious and seek to please others • I have strong feelings, but am often either scared of expressing them or unable to manage them • I make disparaging comments about myself and believe them- I’m thick

Long et al (1999, p 32) suggest that ‘Self-esteem is like oxygen. Children must have a good supply to thrive. Without it their behaviour can become frantic and dangerous if they “act out” or passive and withdrawn if they “act in”. ’ This is why it is essential for us to provide a secure, safe and positive environment for learners where we can give out ‘emotional small change’ to students in the form of positive reinforcement and positive interactions. In defining self-esteem Long et al (1999, p 33) state that selfesteem ‘refers to how much positive regard we feel towards ourselves. It is our evaluation of how far our selfimage is from, or how close it is to, our ideal self …. Children’s self-esteem is clearly influenced by their experiences at both home and school…In school children need to have positive learning experiences and develop confidence and the motivation to learn. But, importantly, they need to feel accepted and valued. ’

High self-esteem Low self-esteem Good Communicators Limited communication skills Clear Vision Limited Vision Clear short and long term goals Few or no goals of their own. Goals tend to be short. Unrealistic view of future Positive self-image Negative self-image Positive self-talk supported by a virtuous self-talk cycle Negative self-talk. Downward spiral of negative self-talk Successful risk takers Take few risks Wide comfort zones and able to expand zones Narrow comfort zones and unwilling to move outside their boundaries Have ownership of locus of control. Locus of control lies outside self. I’m in charge Blame others

Glass half empty or a glass half full

Some ways of developing a positive outlook in students are: • Set up a positive learning environment Use one to one working. • Set short term targets: chunk down the learning so that they can gain early success and instant gratification. • Give out nuggets of praise or emotional small change whenever you can. • Show frequent approval – that you like them verbally or nonverbally. • Use circle time strategies and share time. • Use role play and activities to develop assertiveness.

Use materials to develop their emotional vocabulary. For example ‘Toon Cards’, which consist of 120 cards with cartoon images relating to phrases on behaviour, feelings and qualities (40 on each). Using these for emotional stepping stones activity, emotional dominoes, circle time and in other words – describing the phrase on your card using alternative words.

Use a solution-focused approach – working one to one: - get the students to look for signs of improvement and get them to identify when things go well. - get them to ask the miracle question – if a miracle occurs and problems we are working on go away – how will it show it is better tomorrow. What will have changed?

• Using relaxation techniques. Get students to lie on the floor and tense and relax muscles in the body starting with toes, ankles, calf muscles, buttocks, stomach, arms, shoulders and neck. They could also use controlled breathing – breathing in through the nose on a count of four, holding breath for a count of three and exhaling through the mouth on a count of four. • Use visualization techniques by getting them to close their eyes and visualize a special location and at the same time use controlled breathing. • Get students to identify their worries or concerns and to let them drift away. Ask them to lie on the floor and relax, breathing with their eyes closed and ask them to imagine that they have been given a number of helium filled balloons, each with a label on, to hold. Ask them to write a different worry they may have on each label – then in turn let each balloon go blowing upwards as it is released.

• Develop positive thinking – including coping thoughts. • Use humour. • Emotion diary – recording when they are angry, sad, happy • Anchors • Head massage

• Star shapes given to students and on them they need to record what they will be in five years time. What will they look like, clothes, appearance, in training or education or employment? Compare them with other students. There must be a positive theme to stars. • Emotional car wash • Emotional Thermometer • Thunderstorm

IMPACT TECHNIQUES IN THE CLASSROOM

What do you notice in the following pictures? What do you see in the first picture? What do you see in the last picture?

Can you spot the changes that have been made between pictures 3 & 4 and 12 & 13? In behaviour modification we expect students to go from 1 to 15 in a single move , this can be discouraging for students. Changes need to be made slowly & gradually. If you know how to recognise & support each of these steps in the right direction behaviour will improve. Sometimes you have to look long & hard to find the details that have changed from one picture to the other. The same goes for students. It is vital to find & identify those improvements so that progress can continue Impact Techniques in the Classroom Danie Beaulieu

Impact Techniques are multi-sensory interventions that make abstract concepts more concrete through the use of images, movements, objects and language. They help students to decode information through intuition and experience. They can help students to manage attitude or behaviour problems and can in particular develop self-control, empathy and motivation. Many of the techniques help to develop a student’s emotional intelligence. Impact techniques exploit current understanding on the brain, learning and memory function. By understanding and utilizing them in the classroom, you will have a significant impact on learners. They are based on ‘impact therapy’, a multi-sensory approach to therapy which was developed by Dr Ed Jacobs of West Virginia University (see Beaulieu 2006).

Danie Beaulieu (2004) has carried out some very interesting work on how impact techniques can be used in the classroom environment to engage disaffected students. She suggests (2004, p 17) using impact techniques are like ‘giving your teaching efforts a sort of learning amplifier which multiplies the anchors in the students’ minds, allowing them to integrate new knowledge (whether intellectual or emotional) more quickly, more deeply and with greater intensity’. Beaulieu highlights the importance of a multi-sensory approach in the classroom rather than just focusing on verbal communications. She suggests (2004, p 17) the underlying principle with impact techniques is that they ‘appeal to many senses, the information that they transmit lodges in several areas of the brain and constitutes a global message that is loaded with possibilities for recall’.

IMPACT TECHNIQUE USING OBJECTS & MOVEMENT WORRY JAR Worries on slips of paper, into jar & can be collected at end of lesson HIDDEN OBJECTS Opaque container with objects in it that make a sound when shaken Ask students if they know what is inside. When they cannot discover what is inside it causes discomfort. They may be like the container – way to free themselves is to open the lid & say what is bothering them. Even if student does not confide immediately they will be touched by offer of support & feel understood.

BIG STONES Place big stones into a container , then smaller pebbles, sand & water. If you do not put in big stones first there is no room later. Smaller stones are distractions , what disrupts learning. PARTY BALLOON Confetti into balloon. Balloon represents brain and confetti represents counterproductive thoughts that invade a student’s mind. Such thoughts occupy a space that new knowledge needs. Encourage students to think about ways to rid themselves of distracting thoughts. Confetti can represent secret thoughts. Encourage students to leave such thoughts at rest by refraining from stirring them up. Hold balloon still then shake up. ,

THUMBS Hands together fingers inter linked. Which thumb is in top? Do same again this time with other thumb on top. How does it feel? Does it feel clumsy? We often feel clumsy when we do anything new. Helps students to understand that the difficulty & discomfort brought about by change & by new experiences gradually disappear when we train ourselves to adapt

STORYTELLING AND METAPHORS This area links well with a number of the Impact technique approaches. Storytelling and metaphors are good strategies to use to support students and to develop Emotional Literacy. By using story you can develop a character with the same first name experiencing similar situations. Through story you can reflect upon actions taken by the individual. You can reflect upon appropriate and inappropriate actions. Through the use of metaphors you can also project a problem onto someone else or a place or object. Faupel suggests (1998, p 67) that ‘If a “dangerous” story is retold in a more solution- focused way, using metaphor, then many children with problem anger can be more open to the indirect messages than simply being told how better to respond or behave. ’

The Mutual Storytelling Technique works with children with Conduct Disorders who do not have a sense of guilt about their behaviour. A child chooses an object and then tells a story about it. Faupel (1998, p 67) says ‘Storytelling can enable the child to reframe guilt into a more positive emotion, by developing, instead a sense of remorse, whilst at the same time exploring how the child might use this sense of remorse to avoid problem anger in the future. ’

Emotion Diary • Students each have a private diary-not even shown to teachers, unless they give permission for their teacher to look at it. • In the diaries they record when they feel happy or sad. • They also record how much they love their families & who are their best friends. • They also record which teachers they like.

Relaxation techniques are used e. g. meditation. • • • Lying on floor Close eyes Imagine walking through a forest Then you are sitting in a glade A balloon is in your hand Attach all of your problems & worries in your life to the balloon string and then let go of the balloon. Watch it drift slowly away and with it all the things making you angry & depressed. Share time • Twice weekly small group session, lasting just 10 minutes, lets students discuss their feelings openly. Similar to Circle Time. • Why we like school &why we don’t. • Student then picked at random & each student says why they like them. • Most adults would feel very uncomfortable doing this but students don’t have any such inhibitions-it appears quite natural.

THE IMPORTANCE OF POSITIVE BEHAVIOUR MANAGEMENT

What do you see?

BEGINNING OF DAY

END OF DAY

They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Fantastic things happen to the way we feel, to the way we make people feel. All this simply by using positive words. Professor Leo Buscaglia

The greatest good you can do for someone is not to share your riches but to reveal theirs…. Benjamin Disraeli

Words can poison, words can nourish……. Always start with something positive.

Have a frightening conclusion I am the decisive element in the classroom. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal. In all sets it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de -escalated – a child humanised or dehumanised. Ginott 1972

A GOOD TEACHER IS : Kind Allows you to have your say Generous Cares for your opinion Listens to you Makes you feel clever Encourages you Tells the truth Has faith in you Is forgiving Keeps confidences Stands up for you Likes teaching –children & their subject Doesn’t give up on you Takes time to explain things Tells you how you are doing Helps you when you are stuck Treats people equally Makes allowances Hay/Mc Ber Report 2000

KEEPING IT POSITIVE Thank you for coming in nicely Thank you for thinking of others Thank you for listening others are talking Thank you for using the bin Thank you for thinking before you speak Thank you for being polite Thank you for always respecting other people Thank you for putting up your hand to answer a question Thank you for giving 100% in your work

Thank you for bringing all the materials & equipment needed for the lesson Thank you for following instructions of all adults Thank you for helping Thank you for respecting other peoples property Thank you for walking on the left Thank you for eating in the Dining Area Thank you for eating at the right time Thank you for taking your coat off Thank you for wearing your full school uniform BEHAVIOUR FOR SUCCESS YES WE CAN

RULES RIGHTS ROUTINES RESILIENCE RAPPORT 10 R’s OF POSITIVE BEHAVIOUR MANAGEMENT RESPONSIBILITY RELATIONSHIPS RESPECT REWARDS RECOGNITION

DEVELOPING RAPPORT TO INFLUENCE BEHAVIOUR

• ANCHORS • LISTENING • DISTORTIONS , DELETIONS & GENERALISATIONS • MATCHING VAK LANGUAGE • MATCHING GESTURES • SPEECH • VOCAL MATCHING • GROUP RAPPORT

• KEY SCRIPTS TO USE • PREFACING • PERIPHERAL PRAISE • PREFACING • PRESUPPOSITIONS • •

ACTIVITY –RAPPORT BUILDING EXERCISE –AGREE TO DISAGREE

HELPING TO DEVELOP RESILIENCE

Resilience is the human capacity of all individuals to transform and change, no matter what their risks: it is an innate and self-righting mechanism Lifton, 1994 Based on Faupel (2009) SEBDA

A fundamental shift from focusing on fixing individuals to creating healthy systems Benard, Bonnie (1997) Based on Faupel (2009) SEBDA

The starting point for building on student’s capacities is the belief by all the adults in their lives, particularly in their school, that every child has innate resilience. Benard, B. Based on Faupel (2009) SEBDA

A nurturing environment that meets these basic needs enables us to directly access our innate resilience Benard, Bonnie (1997) Based on Faupel (2009) SEBDA

The process for resilience is the process of normal human development, of meeting the basic human needs for caring and connectedness, challenge and structure, for meaningful involvement, belonging and power Benard, Bonnie (1997) Based on Faupel (2009) SEBDA

A common finding in resilience research is the power of teachers who by modelling three crucial protective factors meet children’s needs for safety, love & belonging, respect, power, accomplishment and learning, and, ultimately, for meaning Benard, Bonnie (1991) Based on Faupel (2009) SEBDA

What are these three protective factors? • Caring relationships • Positive and high expectations • Opportunities to participate and contribute Benard, B. (2004) Based on Faupel (2009) SEBDA

Resilient Children Some children exposed to risk factors in childhood have been identified as being better able to buffer the harmful effects of the risk. Factors which enable them to do this are: 1. Personal characteristics of the child: - Problem solvers - Can gain positive attention of others - Have an optimistic view of life - Feel independent - Approach life from a proactive perspective - Feel that they have control over their environment - Have a sense of humour - Can empathise with others - Have effective problem-solving skills & coping strategies

2. Family characteristics : - Parents who are competent, loving & patient - Child has a good relationship with a least one parental figure - Alternative caretakers step in when parents are absent - There is little separation from the primary caretaker during the first year 3. Other Community Members and How They Can Support Resilient Children: - Provide Mentoring & Guidance eg Teachers, Counsellors, Clergy, Mental Health Workers & Neighbours Risk conditions & stress often go together. Strain of dealing with a challenging situation often generates stress We react to stress by either directing our feelings inward [Acting In] or forcing them outward [Acting Out]

Teachers also have an immensely important role as they model appropriate behaviour which students notice. To help children to become resilient teachers need to: · be themselves most of the time. · be aware of their own feelings and reactions to situations. · be an encourager. · have positive attitudes to students – show interest, respect and warmth. · enter the map of each student’s world · be consistent. · be dependable. · be trustworthy & forgiving. be a listener and care for student opinion ·

To help children a teacher also needs to: Create Positive Classrooms - Creating a classroom atmosphere that fosters growth. Show you have high expectations for them - ‘push them towards excellence. ’ - To have a PSYCHOLOGICALLY SAFE CLASSROOM WHERE EVERYONE WORKS TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER. - Help children to learn how to take the initiative in dealing with life - how to share problems Devedlop Problem Solving Skills - Nurture & develop their ability to deal with life’s problems by seeking positive solutions - Many of life’s challenges present themselves as problems to be solved - teach children a process for solving problems which they can apply in their personal lives.

Transactional Analysis – Using Ego States, Scripts, and Strokes To Our Advantage

Transactional Analysis [TA] is a model of people and relationships that was developed during the 1960 s by Dr Eric Berne • • It was based on 2 notions: [1] We have 3 ego states to our personality [2] The other assumption is that these converse with one another in transactions [hence the name] • It offers a theory of child development - our present life patterns originated in childhood TA develops explanations of how we may continue to replay childhood strategies in grown up life, even when these produce results that are self-defeating or painful

KEY IDEAS IN TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS • EGO STATE MODEL [PAC] • TRANSACTIONS & STROKES • LIFE SCRIPT • AUTONOMY

EGO STATES Human personality is made up of 3 ego states, each ego state is an entire system of thoughts, feelings & behaviours which interact with one another. It is a way in which we manifest a part of our personality at a given time • • TA portrays 3 ego states: - Adult – behaving, thinking, feeling in response to what is going on around me in the here & now - Parent - behaving, thinking, feeling in ways that are a copy of one of my parents - Child - behaving, thinking, feeling that I used to when a child Using ego state model to understand personality is called Structural Analysis

T. A. Scenario 1 Husband has a cold and is requesting help from his wife. Asking for medicine or meal. Forlorn and pleading. Wife – pacifying or instructing husband

T. A. Scenario 2 Teacher is requesting completed coursework from a student. Student does not have the work and is making excuses for not having the work on time.

T. A. Scenario 3 Passenger at an airport is frustrated with the poor provision of information and the unexpected wait. Airport check-in person is attempting to explain the problem to the passenger.

TRANSACTIONS & STROKES • Transactions refer to communication exchanges between two people • I can address you from any of my ego states and you can reply in turn • This exchange is called a transaction • The use of the ego state model to analyse sequences of transactions is transactional analysis proper • When you and I transact I signal recognition of you and you return that recognition – any act of recognition is a stroke • People need strokes, the units of interpersonal recognition to survive, thrive and to maintain their well–being • Understanding how people give and receive positive and negative strokes and changing unhealthy patterns of stroking are powerful aspects of TA • Transactional Analysts are trained to recognise which ego states people are transacting from and to and follow the transactional sequences so that they can intervene and improve the quality and effectiveness of communication

diamonds 6 spades hearts clubs

LIFE SCRIPT Each of us in childhood writes a life story for himself or herself • Most of it has been written by the age of 7, although we may revise it further during adolescence • Dysfunctional behaviour is the result of self-limiting decisions made in childhood in the interest of survival • As grown ups we are usually no longer aware of the life story we have written, yet we are likely to live it out faithfully THIS IS OUR LIFE SCRIPT • Changing the life script is the aim of TA

AUTONOMY To realise our full potential we need to update the strategies for dealing with life we decided upon as infants • • We need to move out of script to gain autonomy • The tools of TA are designed to help people achieve autonomy, the components of which are awareness, spontaneity and the capacity for intimacy

WORDS TO DO WITH FEELINGS How did you feel prior to commencement of the course? How did you feel after end of first module? How did you feel when first assignment was being planned/written? How did you feel when it was returned? What is the difference between FEELINGS and EMOTIONS?

• In groups of 2 list words to do with feelings. • Then divide your words into 2 groups positive words on the left and negative words on the right • Then join with another group and share words List your words on a sheet of paper-positive on one sheet, negative on another. • Swop these sheets with another group of 4. Add new words to the list • Return lists to original groups

POSITIVE WORDS TO DO WITH FEELINGS HAPPY / PROUD/ CHEERFUL / CONFIDENT / ENTHUSIASTIC EMPATHETIC / CARING / CURIOUS / RISK TAKING / GENEROUS ENERGISED / RELAXED / FREE / PLEASED / KIND / GIVING CHARITABLE / MORAL / LIBERATED / APPRECIATED / LOVED AT EASE / STIMULATED / ENCOURAGED / INSPIRED / JOLLY CHALLENGED / GOOD / SURPRISED / COOL / POSITIVE / UPBEAT / REPECTED / EASY / COMFORTABLE / FORGIVING / UPBEAT PLEASED / WANTED / ENGAGED / WORTHY / CHILLED RARING TO GO / UP FOR IT / FULL OF THE JOYS OF SPRING ON TOP OF THE WORLD / TAKE ON THE WORLD

NEGATIVE WORDS TO DO WITH FEELINGS HATED / SAD / TROUBLED / BORED / DISCOURAGED / CONFUSED / MISERABLE / CHALLENGED / BAD / DOWN IN THE DUMPS / SHOCKED / LONELY / DESPONDENT / NEGATIVE / SANCTIMONIOUS / DOWMBEAT / DISREGARDED / UNEASY / UNCOMFORTABLE / DISENCHANTED / UPSET / PAIN / DEFLATED / UNAPPRECIATED / DEPRESSED / MISUNDERSTOOD / UNFORGIVING / ISOLATED / UNDER THE WEATHER / ILL / VULNERABLE / DREARY / HURT / SPITEFUL / SELFISH / TIRED / TENSE / WOUND UP / TRAPPED / CONSTRAINED / FRIGHTENED / SELF-CONSCIOUS / ANXIOUS / DEMORALISED / FRUSTRATED / CROSS / GRUMPY / SORRY / UNHAPPY / ANGRY

As a group of 4 try to come up with your own definition for : FEELINGS EMOTIONS

EMOTIONS

DEFINITION OF EMOTION Probably no other term in psychology shares its combination of non definability and frequency of use. Penguin Dictionary of Psychology An emotion is a set sequence of responses automatically triggered by the brain to prepare the body & mind for appropriate action when our senses perceive that something relevant to our well-being is occurring It is a description of a series of complex, inter- connected happenings in a number of different locations in the mind & body. It can be either a personal internal experience or as a series of scientifically observable facts. Gael Lindenfield [1997]

EMOTIONS ‘Emotion is part of what makes us what we are!’ Why do we have emotions? Reptiles – earliest creatures are devoid of emotional neurons. At birth baby lizards stay motionless to avoid being eaten by their mothers. Humans – as creatures grew in sophistication - they needed a longer period of parenting to safeguard survival. Therefore stronger emotional bond between young and mother. Today’s young humans with their sophisticated emotional brains know instinctively how to take actions which tug on Mum’s guilt strings to keep her hanging around for a lifetime.

FEELINGS

9

9

9

BASIC EMOTIONS • SADNESS • FEAR • JOY • ANGER

SADNESS Loss & Bereavement

10

10

11

ANGER Can lead to AGGRESSIVE or DEPRESSIVE behaviour

BASIC EMOTIONS • In groups of 4 list on flipchart paper words associated with ANGER JOY FEAR SADNESS • Onto cards/post its write the Anger words you listed - Separate the words into 2 groups , those associated with adults and those with a child - For each set put the words representing the strongest emotions nearest to you and then place other cards away from you in order of diminishing strength * • Then join together with all other groups to produce the same as at * but for whole group

WORDS TO DO WITH ANGER ADULT LIST STRONGEST VIOLENT PHYSICAL ACTION – HIT LOSE IT RAGE HATRED ABUSIVE TEMPER CROSS REVENGE STORM OUT FURIOUS

MAD ANNOYED EXASPERATED TENSE / TENSION WOUND UP IRRATIONAL CONTROL FRUSTRATED SAD SULKY HUMILIATION WITHDRAWN POINTLESS REJECTION RESENTMENT WEAKEST

REMEMBER EARLIER WORK ON FOUR F’s Fight Flight Freeze Flock

HELPING STUDENTS TO MANAGE THEIR FEELINGS AND CONTROL CONFRONTATIONAL BEHAVIOUR

JUST WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF ANGER AND CONFRONTATIONAL BEHAVIOUR?

According to Fisher (2005) the reptilian part of the brain is concerned with individual survival and developed whilst we were amphibians. It comes into action when we sense danger, increasing our heart rate, sending adrenalin surging through our body and gets us into a high state of alert and ready to respond with a fight, flight, freeze or flock response. Fisher also suggests this part of the brain can be “stimulated by triggers related to deep-seated unresolved traumatic events in our life” (Fisher 2005) as the cortisol released at the time of the earlier event suppresses the Hippocampus which gives a context to the event. These strong emotional memories remain stored and can easily become a trigger for over-reaction in our own present lives. It can impair our brain of the ability to think and reason effectively. Blood chemicals tell us to act and the message is so strong that our neocortex (the top part of the brain where we do most of our logical thinking and planning) cannot operate properly. An individual is flooded with feelings and can’t think properly

HIPPOCAMPUS SHOWN IN RED THIS ILLUSTRATION IS TAKEN FROM THE UNDERSIDE OF THE BRAIN

Neural links between emotional and cognitive sites are greater in number than those from the cognitive to the emotional centres. It therefore takes longer for the thinking site to send back the information that the situation is not serious. Hence many people respond in an inappropriate manner because of the lag time involved. They are literally taken over by the emotion they are experiencing. Many students do not have the emotional intelligence to decode the non-verbal and verbal communication that is occurring around them to understand when situations are likely to result in conflict. Also they do not have the vocabulary to negotiate and discuss situations. Remember that ‘all behaviour is learnt’. Beating Anger Mike Fisher [2005] Random House London

HELPING STUDENTS TO IDENTIFY THE TRIGGERS TO THEIR EXTREME BEHAVIOUR

Below are some of the key triggers to anger: • differences of opinion • lack of tolerance of diversity • the need to be right • various types of rage – queue rage, road rage • territorial issues – another student getting too close and invading the 50 cm personal space bubble we all have; territory in class; turf wars between gangs people not listening to you – using communication blockers • self-defence – defending close friends and family • shadow – seeing something in another person that you don’t like in yourself, therefore you attack it • displacement – directing anger towards someone else, because of the need to act out, or because they have a trait, physical appearance or vocal tone not ikedt by the student

Signs students show when they are about to become angry: • they appear agitated • they appear fidgety • their face colour deepens and then goes pale as blood drains from their head and goes to their arms and legs for the fight or flight response • their breathing quickens • their pupils dilate • they may speak faster and louder • they move more quickly and have rapid movements • their muscles tense

• their face may contort • they may have hunched shoulders • they are more easily distractible and lack focus.

PRACTICAL STRATEGIES FOR STUDENTS TO MANAGE THEIR CONFRONTATIONAL AND AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR

The following are strategies that I would use with students who have behaviour and anger management issues: • Get them to reflect on what anger is. • Get them to identify sources of conflict and anger in their lives. • Help them to develop impulse controls – get them to stop and think about reactions to situations. Use an imaginary DVD player pause button – go into freeze-frame mode. Get them to reflect on the situation, what their reaction is likely to be and the consequences of that action. What can you and others gain and lose from this action?

• To protect against hurtful comments get them to use an imaginary shield to deflect the comments and protect themselves. Encourage students to build an imaginary glass wall between themselves and the person making the negative comments. Ask the students to visualize an imaginary tortoise shell into which they can go to shield and protect themselves.

• Ask students to break down situations that might trigger an angry response into a number of segments: - students should be encouraged to attempt to define the problem - think about alternative solutions to the situation - evaluate the alternatives and find the best one to use - they should avoid blaming the other person - aim for a win-win situation, not a win-lose situation. • Consider the importance of body language and vocal tone and command in interactions.

• Students should, through role play, practise strategies to use in managing disagreements, arguments and conflicts successfully. Give them a range of scenarios to consider. Dramatherapy is also a useful approach to use • Get them to develop selective listening – it is possible to block out some of the negative statements made by the other person in a dispute. • Develop assertiveness techniques with them. • . Give students advice on how to deal with criticism – ‘Agree with criticism and watch it go away’.

• Lessening/managing anger with these strategies: - Visualization - Learning to breathe for relaxation - When faced with difficult and confrontational situations get students to count to ten before responding, relax muscles and repeat, under the breath, ‘calm, calm’. - Progressive muscle relaxation - Make the following objects available for students to use – stress balls, bean bags and objects to squeeze to reduce stress. - Get students to use internal distraction techniques – recite the alphabet from Z to A, name the days of the week in German, sing a song.

- Encourage students to talk to themselves – use positive self-talk. Get students to list four or five statements that they can think of when faced with another person’s anger. This will help them to diffuse the chances of conflict. ‘My voice will stay quiet and calm even if I am screaming inside. ’ ‘Who makes me angry? I am the only person who can make me angry. ’ ‘An angry person says things they don’t mean. ’

• Get students to reframe – students who behave badly tend to have extremely low self-esteem and a very negative self-image; they think that ‘everyone in the world has it in for me’. This self-downing has been described as ‘psychological junk mail’. It affects students’ ability to cope. There is a need to reframe the problem, looking at it realistically and to get students to reframe the negatives into positives – looking for the good in every situation. • The slightest look or nudge can cause extreme and angry reactions in many students. Because of low self-esteem they have very short fuses and can become very angry and confrontational with the slightest provocation. Working with learners we need to develop an alternative reaction when things occur by looking at alternative reasons for the event. e. g. if someone bumps into them you could explain that it may not be to pick a fight.

• Developing active listening techniques in students. Many students are good at blocking communication by: - challenging - interrupting - dominating - accusing -criticizing

We need to develop the following active listening skills: - face the speaker - look the speaker in the eye - be attentive - nod and make sounds to show you are listening - do not fidget or interrupt - try to feel what the speaker is feeling – develop empathy §Use time-out cards. §Circle time §Goal setting and practise of skills. Working one-to-one with a student can help the student to manage and modify their behaviour by setting goals or targets.

§Peer mediation – Getting a neutral third party to mediate and help settle conflict and disputes between students. Peer mediation develops students’ problemsolving ability and works because it empowers students to attempt to resolve conflict. §. When negative comments are being made a good way of getting students to feel better is getting them to imagine that they have blown a huge bubble into which they step. This energy bubble is strong, brightly coloured and acts as a force field. All the negative comments bounce off the bubble.

ALL A PUPIL NEEDS IS…. .

There are special people who touch our lives in a certain way and having known them we will never be the same Anonymous

A People Place If this is not a place where tears are understood, Where do I go to cry? If this is not a place where my spirits can take wing, Where do I go to fly? If this is not a place where my questions can be asked, Where do I go to seek? If this is not a place where my feelings can be heard, Where do I go to speak? If this is not a place where you’ll accept me as I am, Where can I go to be? If this is not a place where I can try to learn and grow, Where can I just be me? William J Crocker

REFERENCES Churches, R. and Terry, R. (2007), NLP for Teachers. (Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing Ltd). Birkett, V. (2005), How To Manage and Teach Children With Challenging Behaviour. (Cambridge: LDA. ). Dix, P. (2005), Behaviour Management Handbook. (Lindfield: Pivotal). Dreikurs, R. , Grunwald, B. and Pepper, F. (1998), Maintaining Sanity in the Classroom. (London: Taylor and Francis Ltd. ). Faupel, A. , Herrick, E. and Sharp, P. (1998), Anger Management. (London: David Fulton Publishing). Beaulieu, D. (2004), Impact Techniques In The Classroom. (Carmarthen: House Publishing Ltd). (2006), Impact Techniques for Therapists. (Brunner & Routledge).

Long, R. (2007), The Rob Long Omnibus Edition of Better Behaviour. (Abingdon: David Fulton Publishing / Tamworth: NASEN). Long, R. & Fogell, J. (1999) Supporting Pupils With Emotional Difficulties. (London: David Fulton Publishers). Mahony, T. (2007), Making Your Words Work. (Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing Ltd). Ready, R. and Burton, K. (2004), Neuro-linguistic Programming for Dummies. (Chichester: John Wiley and Sons Ltd). Vizard, D. (2007 a), How To Manage Behaviour In FE (London: PCP/Sage). Vizard, D (2009) Meeting The Needs of Disaffected Students (London: Network/Continuum).

Gerhardt, S. (2008), ‘Anger Management’, Times Educational Supplement Magazine (17 October 2008). Goleman, D. (1996), Emotional Intelligence. (London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc). Goleman, D. (1999), Working With Emotional Intelligence. (London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc). The Children’s Society. (2008) ‘Good Childhood Inquiry’. Available at <www. childrenssociety. org. uk>. Blakemore, S-J. and Frith, U. (2005), The Learning Brain- Lessons for Education. (Oxford: Blackwell Publishing).