Weeds and Roses Ehrenreichs TV Zombies Roses Excellent
Weeds and Roses Ehrenreich’s TV Zombies
Roses! Excellent job incorporating the author and title of her work in your intro! Excellent use of Ehrenreich’s text: • “The only magic one might regard is how hypnotic the TV can be: ‘People are never really watching, hour after hour, the way real people do. ’” • “In her book, The Worst Years of Our Lives, ‘television has transformed the American people into root vegetables. ’”
Roses! Diction is improving dramatically! Elevated diction! • “The classic American life revolves around sitting. ” • “Of course you won’t see them watching TV; their attention is consumed by paramount tasks. ” • “They shall be forever solidified in their place on their living room couch, watching life vanish into oblivion. ”
Roses! Excellent use of varied concrete detail: • Fahrenheit 451 • Heaps of TV shows • Transcendentalism— gasp!!
Roses! COMMENTARY IS IMPROVING!! ENHANCED COMMENTARY! “On today’s television channels, many popular shows are about drama, excitement, and making a difference. Grey’s Anatomy, a medical soap opera, draws in watchers with its’ steamy romances and heart-breaking patient stories. If a person was really a doctor, or strived to be one, they wouldn’t be spending hours on end watching a Hollywood, sugar-coated version of life in a hospital. The lives on the screen are all scripted to appease the viewer.
Holistic Scoring and the super zit pick 9— 1 8— 3 7— 6 6— 16 5— 6 4— 3 3— 0 2— 0
Editing for Clarity!
- Slides: 7