We Can Handle Cliques What are cliques Cliques

We Can Handle Cliques!

What are “cliques”? Cliques are groups of friends, but not all groups of friends are cliques The thing that makes a group a clique is that they leave some kids out on purpose adapted from www. kidshealth. org

• usually one or two kids control who gets to be in the clique and who gets left out • kids may act differently than they did before they were part of the clique – that can be confusing! adapted from www. kidshealth. org

Why do kids join cliques? • because they like the same things • because they want to be popular • because they want to belong adapted from www. kidshealth. org google images

It can be confusing because someone who was your friend yesterday is treating you differently today! adapted from www. kidshealth. org

Why aren’t you in the clique too? • maybe you had an argument with your friend and he or she joined the clique • maybe you look, act, or dress differently than they do • maybe you’re the “new kid” in school

How would you feel to be outside of the clique? sad angry hurt lonely

Kids in cliques may act differently than they would outside of the group they might go along with what others are doing, even if they know it’s not right – even if it means leaving out a friend

Some kids might even feel bad about the way they treat other kids, but they can’t figure out how to be cool and still be nice to the person who’s not in the clique I don’t think we should be so mean – but I don’t know what to do. .

But that’s no excuse… Lots of kids manage to be nice to everyone – whether they’re in or outside their closest group of friends… all without being part of a clique!

Who can help? • parents • older sisters and brothers • other family members (like cousins, grandparents, uncles and aunts) • teachers

How can they help? Adults can help kids learn to: • • • deal with feelings of being left out make new friends include each other mend hurt feelings repair broken friendships

What can you do? 5 things to try if cliques are upsetting you: 1. Find friends 2. Speak up 3. Invite a friend 4. Don’t take it out on yourself 5. Look for friends everywhere

1. Find friends • find other friends • hang out with kids who aren’t part of a clique • make friends outside of school • be open to kids who look or act differently than you do

2. Speak up • if your group of friends has suddenly turned into a clique, speak up • it’s okay to say that you want to invite others to hang out • be prepared – the clique may go on without you • OR they might follow your lead and stop acting so “clique-y” • talk with your school counselor

3. Invite a friend • if you’re outside the clique and want to be friends with someone in it, invite that person to do something with you on the weekend • maybe that person will have such a good time with you, that he or she will realize it’s silly not to hang out with you more often • BUT be prepared for disappointment – that person may slip back into the clique on Monday at school You gotta try this new video game I got – wanna come over Saturday?

4. Don’t take it out on yourself • if some kids are mean to you because they think you don’t fit in, don’t let them make decisions about the kind of kid you are going to be • decide for yourself • if you want to change – make sure you’re doing it for YOU!

5. Look for friends everywhere • Did you know? The most popular and well-liked kids are the ones who are friendly to everyone! • do your best to be friendly and open to everyone • look for chances to meet, talk with, and do stuff with plenty of different kids

So remember: What can you do about cliques? 1. Find friends 2. Speak up 3. Invite a friend 4. Don’t take it out on yourself 5. Look for friends everywhere

So…what do YOU think? What if you find yourself in a clique and you feel trapped. Yeah, it’s nice that the cool kids like you, but you don’t want to leave anyone out and you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. What can you do? I wish they wouldn’t say that about my old friend…