Warm Up Sentences Quarter 1 BellRingers Sentence Fix

Warm Up Sentences Quarter 1

Bell-Ringers: Sentence Fix Ups Read the sentence--- write a correction in your notebook. Be prepared to explain your revision decisions.

Warm Up Sentence #1 swimming desperate to reach the shore a light was seen in the distance

Word Challenge for the Day What do the following words have in common? Assess Banana Dresser Grammar Potato Revive Uneven Voodoo Hint It is more than having letters repeated in each one. . . Hide Show Hint Answer If you take the first letter and move it to the rear of the word, you get the same word when read backwards. Hide Show Answer

Corrected: Swimming desperately to reach the shore, Bob saw a light in the distance. (active vs. passive voice)

Warm Up Sentence #2 put small dry twigs at the bottom of a fire that makes it easier to start the fire said juan ortiz our counselor

Optical Illusion Challenge How many legs does this elephant have?

Corrected: "Put small, dry twigs at the bottom of a fire to make it easier to start, " said Juan Ortiz, our counselor. (appositive)

The Appositive An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that renames another noun right beside it. The appositive can be a short or long combination of words. Look at these examples: The insect, a cockroach, is crawling across the kitchen table. The insect, a large cockroach with hairy legs, is crawling across the kitchen table. The insect, a large, hairy-legged cockroach that has spied my bowl of oatmeal, is crawling across the kitchen table. Here are more examples: During the dinner conversation, Clifford, the messiest eater at the table, spewed mashed potatoes like an erupting volcano. Genette's bedroom desk, the biggest disaster area in the house, is a collection of overdue library books, dirty plates, computer components, old mail, cat hair, and empty potato chip bags. Reliable, Diane's eleven-year-old beagle, chews holes in the living room carpeting as if he were still a puppy.

Punctuate the appositive correctly. The important point to remember is that a nonessential appositive is always separated from the rest of the sentence with comma(s). When the appositive begins the sentence, it looks like this: A hot-tempered tennis player, Robbie charged the umpire and tried to crack the poor man's skull with a racket. When the appositive interrupts the sentence, it looks like this: Robbie, a hot-tempered tennis player, charged the umpire and tried to crack the poor man's skull with a racket. And when the appositive ends the sentence, it looks like this: Upset by the bad call, the crowd cheered Robbie, a hot-tempered tennis player who charged the umpire and tried to crack the poor man's skull with a racket.

Appositive? Or Appositive Phrase? 1. The boys repaired our television set, an eighteen-year-old portable. 2. The poem, one of Robert Frost's best, is called "The Death of the Hired Man. " 3. I can't find my notebook, the one I use for history class. 4. Dick's new suit, a gray flannel one, makes him look much older. 5. We enjoy walking, an exercise which requires no great skill. 6. The theater, an old and drafty one, is nevertheless always crowded. 7. My math teacher, Miss Holmes, has taught for twenty years. 8. The garage, a two-car one, is attached to the house. 9. James Hilton's book, Lost Horizon, has been filmed twice

if you have either a yardstick or a measuring tape said mr dixon bring them tomorrow Warm Up Sentence #3

Corrected: “If you have either a yardstick or a measuring tape, " said Mr. Dixon, "bring it tomorrow. "

Other options… “ …” / “ ‘ …’” Can you believe that Mr. Dixon said, “If you have a yardstick bring it tomorrow”? (punctuating the entire sentence---quotation is inside) Sally complained to me, “I can’t believe that Mr. Dixon said, ‘bring it tomorrow. ’” (Sally is quoting Mr. Dixon—single quotation mark inside double)

Check for understanding… Is the following sentence in active or passive voice? : Notes were taken from powerpoint or teacher to be stored in personal folders. q What is the appositive in the following sentence: A hot-tempered tennis player Robbie charged the umpire and tried to crack the poor man's skull with a racket. q What do we call written conversation in a text? ________.

Change the passive voice to My life has been changed by many different things. I remember when I active: learned that there was no Santa Claus. I was told by my friend Clive to wait up Flopsy for Santa, and I did, but Santa never came. Instead, I saw my parents, tired and frazzled, slink down the stairs and lazily pile presents under the tree. My faith was shaken. There was no Santa. I also remember when my younger brother unmade the bed after I had made it up. I got so mad at him that he was picked up by the collar of his Spider-Man pajamas and thrown across the room by me. The nightstand was hit by his head, and his red and blue Spidey p. j. s were stained a darker red by his blood. I was so sorry. I was taught to control my anger by this event, and I was also reminded how much I loved my little brother. There are many more events that changed my life, but my life was most changed by my little stuffed bunny, Flopsy was given to me on Easter by my parents. He was pink and had funny, floppy ears and a cute white cottontail. Of all his parts, his fluffy tail was loved most by me. He was carried wherever I went. He was taken to breakfast, on the bus, to school, to the playground, to dinner, and to bed. He was taken everywhere. He was a well-loved little bunny, and he was loved most by me.

Active voice= direct, more lively Many different things have changed my life. I remember when I learned that there was no Santa Claus. My friend Clive told me to wait up for Santa, and I did, but Santa never came. Instead, I saw my parents, tired and frazzled, slink down the stairs and lazily pile presents under the tree. That event shook my faith. There was no Santa. I also remember when my younger brother unmade the bed after I had made it up. I got so mad at him that I picked him up by the collar of his Spider -Man pajamas and threw him across the room. His head hit the nightstand, and his blood stained his red and blue Spidey p. j. s a darker red. I was so sorry. This event taught me to control my anger and also reminded me how much I loved my little brother. There are many more events that changed my life, but my little stuffed bunny, Flopsy, changed it the most. My parents gave Flopsy to me on Easter. He was pink and had funny, floppy ears and a cute white cottontail. Of all his parts, I loved his fluffy tail the most. I carried him wherever I went. I took him to breakfast, on the bus, to school, to the playground, to dinner, and to bed. I took him everywhere. He was a well-loved little bunny, and I loved him the most.

Which woman do YOU see?

Stroop Effect Try to say the color of the words, instead of actually reading them. You will find it surprisingly difficult. The right half of your brain is trying to say the colors, the left half is trying to say the word itself. This picture brain teaser is used by mountaineers to test if their concentration is ok. (by J. R. Stroop).

More Trivia Question What is so fragile that when you say its name you break it? Question Forward I am heavy, backwards I am not. What am I? Question What object has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go in? Question I have five letters. If you take the first and last ones I will still be the same. Even if you take the middle letter I will be the same as before. What am I? http: //www. buzzle. com/articles/word-brain-teasers. html

Warm Up Sentence #4: Fix this! before them girls may play said coach pasternak they hafta meet the requirements in the manual

Corrected “Before those girls may play, ” said Coach Pasternak, “they have to meet the requirements in the manual. ”

WU#5 --Revise for Grammar/Usage donna did mr ecklund require your class to read the short story flight to freedom bridget asked

Corrected "Donna, did Mr. Ecklund require your class to read the short story 'Flight to Freedom’? " Bridget asked.

Titles and Punctuation Short Stories— “quotation marks” Poems-- “quotation marks” Plays —underline or italicize Movies —underline or italicize Television Programs —underline or italicize Episodes on television “quotation marks” Songs “quotation marks” CDs/Albums —underline or italicize

WU#6—Revise for Grammar/Usage the macaroni and cheese was made by saras mom for the party, the dish was liked by every one at the party

Corrected Sara’s mom made the macaroni and cheese for the party; everyone liked the dish. or Everyone at the party liked the macaroni and cheese dish that Sara’s mom made.

run-ons or fused and comma splice ppt. pps Comma splice— two independent clauses separated by a comma when a semi-colon, period, or additional coordinating conjunction is needed. Fused sentence (also known as a “Run on”) two or more independent clauses in a sentence that are not separated by any punctuation, but that should be.

Fix This! WU #7 a plaque at riverside park bears this quotation form thoreaus book walden that man is the richest whose pleasures are cheapest

Corrected: A plaque at Riverside Park bears this quotation from Thoreau's book Walden: "That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest. "

Use a Colon : After an independent clause that precedes a list. The use of these punctuation marks often confuses students: comma, semicolon, hyphen, and dash. The Stearns County Theatrical Company announces the opening of the following plays: Lear, May 10 th; Death of a Salesman, June 15 th; and Camelot, August 20 th. There are three historical sources of belief: reason or intellect, custom or habit, and inspiration. To separate an explanation, rule, or example from a preceding independent clause. After a sleepless night, the senator made her decision: she would not seek re-election. Music is more than a mechanical arrangement of sounds: it is an expression of deep feeling and ethical values. A way to remember which direction to move the hands of the clock when changing to or from Daylight Savings Time: spring forward, fall back. After the salutation of a business letter. Dear Mr. Peterson: Dear Faculty Member: In the heading of a business memo. TO: SUBJECT: Between the hour and the minutes. 5: 30 p. m. 3: 00 a. m. Between the chapter and the verse in the Bible, in citations for some literary works, and between the volume and the number of some publications. Genesis 1: 18 -20 Part 3: 121 Vol. 2: 34 As part of a title. Grey Power: A Practical Survival Handbook for Senior Citizens. In a bibliography between the place of publication and the name of the publisher. Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Press, 1966. en to use a colon :

WU #8 Revise for Grammar/Usage somebody must of lent my brother in laws ladder it weren't in the garage

fragment, fused, comma splice, complete sentence?

Corrected: Somebody must have borrowed my brother-inlaw's ladder; it wasn't in the garage. Was the sentence before an example of comma splice or fused?

run-ons or fused and comma splice ppt. pps Comma splice— two independent clauses separated by a comma when a semi-colon, period, or additional coordinating conjunction is needed. Fused sentence (also known as a “Run on”) two or more independent clauses in a sentence that are not separated by any punctuation, but that should be.

WU #9 camping near lake george we went fishing in the lake have taken many hikes and we like to explore in the area

Verb Tense and Consistency Went fishing past tense 2. Have taken many hikes past perfect tense 3. Like to explore present tense Went fishing Went hiking Went exploring—too many “wents” Fishing, hiking, exploring Fished, hiked, explored Fish, hike, and explore 1.

Corrected: Camping near Lake George, we fished, hiked, and explored the area. Smiley-face technique? ______

WU # 10 – Fix this! he hasnt never showed much self reliance or had growed much from his experiences

Corrected: He has never shown much self-reliance or grown much from his experiences.

The dreaded double negative-- Incorrect He can't convince no one to go with him. Correct He can convince no one to go with him. He can't convince anyone to go with him. Incorrect I haven't never gone to the circus. Correct I have never gone to the circus. I haven't ever gone to the circus.

Correct These Please Once he gets going, there isn't nothing that can stop him. Once he gets going, there isn’t anything that can stop him. I've tried to go with him, but I can't hardly keep up.

Warm Up Sentence # 11 ms ruffalo shouldnt of left mr logan buy that computer she is president of design international

Corrected: Ms. Ruffalo, president of Design International, shouldn't have let Mr. Logan buy that computer. What is the term between parentheses?

Warm Up #12 justin was reflecting back on his career in music entertainment and then justin thanks every one who he had been associated with

Avoid ending with a preposition Where are you at? Where are you? What suitcase should I use to put my clothes into? Into what suitcase should I put my clothes?

Corrected Reflecting on his entertainment career, Justin thanked everyone with whom he had been associated.

How to identify? links nouns, pronouns and phrases to other words in a sentence. The word or phrase that the preposition introduces is called the object of the preposition. The book is on the table. The book is beneath the table. The book is leaning against the table. The book is beside the table. She held the book over the table. She read the book during class. is the noun—ON is the preposition ---and TABLE is the object of the preposition BOOK

Prepositions show “position” or relationship aboard about above across after against along amid among anti around as at before behind below beneath besides between beyond but by concerning considering despite down during excepting excluding following for from in inside into like minus near of off on onto opposite outside over past per plus regarding round save since than through to towards underneath unlike until up upon versus via within without

Prepositions: words that indicate “position” or relationship common prepositions are about, above, across, after, against, along, among, around, at, before, behind, below, beneath, beside, between, beyond, but, by, despite, down, during, except, for, from, inside, into, like, near, off, onto, outside, over, past, since, throughout, till, toward, underneath, until, upon, within, and without.

Warm Up # 13 my mother she is the person who you must ask for a copy of the book careers in computers

Corrected My mother is the person whom you must ask for a copy of the book Careers in Computers.

Is it Who? Or Whom? RULE. Use the he/him method to decide which word is correct. he = who him = whom

How to Decide? WHO he she they WHOM him her them “he owns it” “it belongs to him”

Tom is the one I _____ I will meet. Switch it around ask yourself: I am meeting …. ? • • I will meet he at the game. (sounds incorrect) I will meet him at the game. (much better!) Him sounds better, so choose WHOM

For who/whom should I vote for president? Should I vote for he? (nah…. doesn’t sound right) Should I vote for him? (yes, sounds like a plan!) For whom should I vote for president?

(Who or Whom) ______ wrote the letter? Did him write the letter? (sounds weird) Did he write the letter? (sounds ok) Who wrote the letter? (Correct!)

Test Yourself. Who or whom? Whomever? Whoever? A prank was pulled on a student {____ I know quite well}. When the going gets tough, { _______ are you going to call}? * To _______ am I speaking? (switch to sent) {____ we elect for president} will be in office for the next four years. *Ghost-busters!!

Who or Whom? Whoever? Whomever? One trick: [Isolate the phrase that includes the who/whom] Ask yourself if the phrase (JUST the phrase) would sound better with the subjective form (he, she, we, they, I) or the objective case (him, her, us, them, me)? We will be kind to [_ whoever____ knocks on our door. ] she ____ knocks on our door. ] knocks; he knocks; we knock Another: If the sentence itself sounds good without any pronoun, it is generally WHOM Tom is the student ( whom ) the teachers picked as ) outstanding.

Warm Up# 14 the guidence counseler made a suggestion that seniors who are graduating should submit early applications to the colleges of there choices (21 wds)

Corrected The guidance counselor suggested that graduating seniors should apply early to the colleges of their choice. * *…their top colleges. (14) *. . . their chosen colleges. (16 wds) *. . . their preferred colleges.

What is a Nominalization? Nominalization – a noun derived from a verb or adjective, such as determination from determine In general, try to avoid these and choose the stronger verb form to be concise Made a suggestion= suggested Should submit early applications= apply early

Active, strong verbs and adjectives Analysis

Try it… It was the intention of the steering committee to interview all candidates face to face. The steering committee intended to interview all candidates personally.

Warm Up # 15 wandering around in a daze, and blabbering incoherantly the paramedic made the decision that the motorcycle accident victim is in shock

Revised The paramedic decided the motorcycle accident victim, wandering around in a daze and blabbering incoherently, was in shock.

Participle (the –ing word modifying the noun---acts as a modifier---thus, D. M. Building blocks: A participle is an '-ing' word that modifies a noun. Quite often, words that end in '-ing' are the present participles of verbs, such as swimming, talking, laughing, and so on. A participle can be part of a larger phrase, called a participial phrase, that modifies a noun.

Quick rules: The participial phrase should be followed by a comma and then by the noun that's being modified. When singing a tune, I often close my eyes That noun must be the subject of the main clause. When the participial phrase does not modify the subject, we say that it is dangling. When singing a tune, the music is sweetly flowing.

Misplaced (or dangling) Modifiers A. K. A. Dangling/misplaced participial phrases -ing After following the vision program for two weeks, my doctor told me that my eyesight had improved. Who’s? following the vision THINK: program? Are you or is the Doc? Make sure your modifying participial phrase is close to its antecedent

Let's break down Ted's sentence. After getting kicked off the basketball team, the mall became Jake's new favorite hangout. As the sentence is written now, the subject of the main clause seems to be 'the mall. ' Ted's teacher asked if malls could dribble and shoot (heh heh) because this sentence implies that the mall got kicked off the basketball team. Correction: Sentences with dangling participles usually require some reworking. Here are two alternatives: After getting kicked off the basketball team, Jake started hanging out at the mall. The mall became Jake's new favorite hangout after he got kicked off the basketball team. http: //www. methodist. edu/english/dd_index. htm

Warm Up Sentence #16 looking for my assignment it was found that someone sat it under a pile of house beautiful magazines

Corrected Looking for my assignment, I found that someone had set it under a pile of House Beautiful magazines.

http: //www. chomp. com/rul es/csfsrules. htm Anne enjoyed her high school reunion she hadn't seen her old friends in over ten years. Comma splice? Fragment? Fused? Complete? Anne enjoyed her high school reunion, she hadn't seen her old friends in over ten years. Comma splice? Fragment? Fused? Complete?

Warm Up Sentence #17 our neighbors left us see pictures of there photo safari in africa they plan to return back there soon

Options for CS and Fusion Errors He has completed his research, he will not report his findings to class today. (CS—incorrect) He has completed his research he will not report his findings to class today. (FS—incorrect) He has completed his research, so he will report his findings to class today. He has completed his research, but he will not report his findings to class today. He has completed his research; he will report his findings to class today. (All of these are grammatically correct, but context and purpose dictate which works best. )

Corrected (wordiness/fused error) Our neighbors let us see pictures of their photo safari in Africa; they plan to return soon.

The tricky thing to remember is that comma splices and fused sentences can appear in a longer string of sentences with other punctuation. me more examples below. Comma splice: To get ready for the party, Sharon baked cookies and brownies until she thought her oven would explode, finally, she cleaned the kitchen, satisfied that the goodies would be a hit. Fused sentence: To get ready for the party, Sharon baked cookies and brownies until she thought her oven would explode finally, she cleaned the kitchen, satisfied that the goodies would be a hit. Correct grammar: "To get ready for the party, Sharon baked cookies and brownies until she thought her oven would explode. Finally, she cleaned the kitchen, satisfied that the goodies would be a hit. "

WU # 18 the corruption of the church during the middle ages is illustrated by chaucer in the pardoners tale who uses allegorical references

Corrected Chaucer uses allegorical references to illustrate the corruption of the church during the Middle Ages in the “Pardoner’s Tale. ” (also a good thesis sentence!)

WU# 18 A my dress for homecoming a vera wang designer special only cost 25 dollars at target my friends dress from nordstroms cost her $450

Corrected My homecoming dress, a Vera Wang design, only cost $25 at Target; by contrast, my friend’s dress from Nordstrom’s cost $450.

Transition words and semi-colons or Comma-Conjunctions ; however, my. . . ; by contrast, my. . . ; consequently, . . . ; furthermore, , but my. . . , so , for , yet

Consistency with Numbers under 10 ---spell out one, two, three. . . 10, 11 Numbers under two syllables---spell out Twenty, thirty, twelve, forty Be consistent within sentence 25 dollars and $450 = $25 and $450 NEVER begin sentence with a numeral 4 score and seven years… Four-score and seven…

Second Quarter Warm Ups Quarter 2

Warm Up # 19 After visiting Agra the site of the taj mahal with the Morris’s, the photos were fun to look at.

Corrected After visiting Agra, the site of the Taj Mahal, with the Morrises, we had fun looking at the photos. Correcting for appositive, misplaced participial phrase, and preposition placement

SAT Practice The fields have soil (A) so rich that corn (B) growing here commonly (C) had stood more than six feet (D) tall. (E) No error A. so rich that B. growing here C. had stood D. tall E. No error

Warm Up Sentence #20 there is many events that have changed my life but my life was changed more by my little stuffed bunny flopsy

Corrected There are many events that have changed my life, but Flopsy, my little stuffed bunny, changed my life the most.

http: //kids. niehs. nih. gov/games/illusions/ind ex. htm

Warm Up # 21 Find SIX Problems: Toms and Jerrys Mother made a conclusion that the two boys didn’t go to school neither toms nor jerry's lunch had been taken by them.

SIX problems… (one sentence – whew!!) Capitalization--- his mother and my mother vs. “Mother!” Mother Jones Nominalization— came to the conclusion = concluded FUSED sentence--- comma and coordinating conjunction and --- FANBOYS Passive changed to Active----lunch was taken by= had taken his lunch Agreement--- neither one (of them) took his or their Possessive for compound subjects--- ‘s for BOTH subjects if each takes a different object; ‘s for second subject if BOTH have the same object

Key= Cap Nom Poss’s CS/F Act/Pas Agreement Tom and Jerry’s mother concluded that the two boys didn’t go to school, for neither one had taken his lunch.

Possessives 1. Most English nouns form their possessives with an apostrophe s (’s) if they are singular, and an s apostrophe (s’) if they are plural. Singular possessive: The car’s hood. Plural possessive: The cars’ hoods. Remember, just because a possessive adds an s to a word, it does not make that word plural. On the other hand, both singular and plural nouns can be made possessive.

Possessive plurals 2. For nouns that form their plural in ways other than the addition of an s, form the possessive plural by adding ’s. For example: Woman’s/women’s, man’s/men’s, child’s/children’s, ox’s/oxen’s, deer’s/deer’s, mouse’s/mice’s

singular nouns that end in “s” 3. You have a couple of options in forming the possessive of singular nouns that end in s. You can either: Add an apostrophe to the end of the word: Jesus’ miracles Keats’ odes Dickens’ novels …or add an apostrophe s to the end of the word: Jesus’s miracles Keats’s odes Dickens’s novels Choose the form that seems easier to

Plural or Possessive Noun? The cars / car’s breaks failed to operate on the snowy mountain road. Albert Einsteins / Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity changed our understanding of time. On weekends, students / student’s love to sleep in. Civil liberties / Civil liberties’ were bought with blood. Fast food has its / it’s downsides.

What do YOU see?

More Possessives 4. The possessive of pairs: a. To show joint possession, add ’s only to the second member of the pair: John and Mary’s mother (John and Mary have the same mother. ) b. To show individual possession, add ’s to each member of the pair: John’s and Mary’s tennis rackets (John and Mary each have their own tennis rackets. ) 5. Form the possessive of group and compound nouns by adding ’s to the end of the unit: commander in chief’s, someone else’s, son-in-law’s 6. We usually reserve the ’s or s’ for the possessive of nouns naming living creatures (human beings and animals). For inanimate objects we usually show possession with the of phrase: The roof of the house instead of The house’s roof Some common exceptions to this rule: A day’s wages, a week’s work, the year’s (storm’s, weekend’s) death toll, the school’s policies, the

Warm Up Sentence # 22 pocahontas lived in england for several years she dies and was buried in england

Corrected For several years Pocahontas lived in England, where she died and was buried \BrhtdcthomeDFossumVerb. Tense. pptx good one. pptx

Happy Thanksgiving! Warm Up Sentence # 23 41 pilgrims signed the mayflower compact which has established a government in plymouth colony

Corrected Forty-one pilgrims signed the Mayflower Compact, which established a government in Plymouth Colony.

SAT Practice Either of the solutions you (A) have proposed (B) are acceptable to the union, (C) whose members are (D) willing to compromise. (E) No error. A. B. C. D. E.

Warm Up # 24 Tammy is the person who you should call if you need to get your hair cut in my opinion she is the better stylist in Ashburn

Revised Tammy is the person whom you should call if you need to get your hair cut; she is the best stylist in Ashburn. whom ; (cs) superlative (in my opinion)---just SAY it!!

Warm Up # 25 carl waisted his 1 st year at college by not studying enough and spending to much time at parties

REVISED Carl wasted his first year at college by studying too little and partying too much.

SAT Practice A number of trainees (A) who take this course every year (B) find that (C) their knowledge of mathematics (D) is inadequate. (E) No error. A. B. C. D. E.

Warm Up #26 of all my relatives uncle frank is more noted for his generosity he gives everyone the expensivest gifts at christmastime

http: //english-zone. com/teach/pdf -files/comparatives. pdf Comparative (comparing)---more (than the other) Superlative (assessing as to the best)---most (of all) Big bigger biggest Jollyjollier jolliest Sweet sweeter sweetest Expensive more expensive most expensive Delicious more delicious most delicious (notice anything about the longer words …? ? ? )

Of all my relatives, Uncle Frank is most noted for his generosity; he gives everyone the most expensive gifts at Christmas time.

SAT Practice For a successful career (A) as a beautician, (B) one must be prepared to (C) dissemble: you must not tell your client the unvarnished truth about his or (D) her appearance. (E) No error. A. B. C. D. E.

Warm Up #27 yes before grandmother arrives for the Holidays we finished painting the West Bedroom

Corrected Yes, before Grandmother arrives for the holidays, we will finish painting the west bedroom.

Warm Up # 28 - SAT question Because of less availability and greater demand for scientific research, platinum remains consistently expensive, like gold. (A) Because of less availability and greater demand for scientific research, platinum remains consistently expensive, like gold. (B) Because of less availability and increased demand for scientific research, platinum remains consistently expensive, like that of gold. (C) Because of decreased availability and increased demand in scientific research, platinum remains expensive, like gold. (D) Because of decreased availability and increased demand for scientific research, platinum remains expensive, like gold. (E) Because of decreased availability and greater demand in scientific research, platinum remains at a consistently high price, like that of gold.

SAT Practice According to surveys by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, about 20 percent of young adults used cocaine in 1979, doubling those reported in the 1977 survey. a) doubling those reported in the 1977 survey b) to double the number the 1977 survey reported c) twice those the 1977 survey reported d) twice as much as those reported in the 1977 survey e) twice the number reported in the 1977 survey

SAT Practice Cynthia argued vehemently (A) with her mother (B) over (C) her refusal to (D) attend the school concert. (E) No error. A. B. C. D. E.

Warm Up # 28 each year americans chop down more then 30, 000 christmas trees, most of them are just throwed away after the hollidays

Revised Every year Americans chop down more than 30 million Christmas trees; most of them are just thrown away after the holidays.

WU # 29 Correct This! last saturday night we began hanakah the 8 day merriment other wise known as the festival of lights jewish holiday

29 --Corrected Last Saturday night we began Hanukkah, the eightday merriment otherwise known as the Festival of Lights, a Jewish holiday. (appositive phrase and use of numbers in writing)

WU # 30 If you believe the conspiracy theorists a planet called nibiru will collide with the earth in December, 2012, which will cause the end of the world to happen

30 --Corrected According to conspiracy theorists, a planet called ‘Nibiru’ will collide with the earth in December 2012, causing the world to end. Avoid use of you—eliminate superfluous wording Single quotation marks for ‘special’ terms

Happy 2013

Quote for Today: Respond… “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and this year’s words await another voice. ” T. S. Eliot Poet, author (1888 -1965) -- “Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock; ” The Wasteland

WU # 31 this year I have began to really think of my options in depth and take in account what I would be gaining or losing if I did or didnt do something

Eliminate wordiness and weak, filler words this year I have began (un) to really think of my options in depth and take in account what I would be gaining or losing if I did or didn’t do something.

Revised This year I have begun to think of my options. Or: This year I have begun to think of my college options.

Avoid Clichés and Bloated Writing http: //www. canadianwriterspocketguide 2 e. nel son. com/includes/HED/buscomm/PDF/Modul e 21. PDF

WU #32 islam a major world religion is dominent in the middle east it’s followers are called muslims and their sacred book is the koran

32 --Corrected Islam, a major world religion, is dominant in the Middle East; its followers are called Muslims and its sacred book is the Koran.

WU #33 yesterday when i saw my friend from boise idaho i should of returned the book she borrowed me

33 -Corrected Yesterday, when I saw my friend from Boise, Idaho, I should have returned the book she lent me.

Quarter 3

Warm Up #34 costa rica, one of the few countries in the world that doesn’t have no army, educates it’s population good the central american country has a 93 percent literacy rate

Revised Costa Rica--one of the few countries in the world that doesn’t have an army-educates its population well; the Central American country has a ninety-three percent literacy rate.

Warm Up # 35 2/3 of all adult Americans wears corrective lenses. Because of nearsightedness if they have farsightedness or an astigmatism.

Two-thirds of all adult Americans wear corrective lenses because of nearsightedness, farsightedness, or astigmatism. Better

Warm Up # 36 Perhaps the more finicky eater in the world is the beloved koala bear of Australia, whom won’t eat nothing accept eucalyptus leafs.

The beloved Australian koala bear--who won’t eat anything except eucalyptus leaves--is perhaps the most finicky eater in the world. Better

Warm Up #37 v. I believe that feburary is the best month for sending the ones you love gifts and to give cards to new friends and go out to eat at romantic restuarants

I believe I think It can be seen that One can assume that In my opinion The reader may consider that Use Your Strong and Authoritative Voice

Corrected February is the best month for sending loved ones gifts, giving cards, and going out to eat at romantic restaurants.

Warm Up # 38 Would you borrow me your notes from that Social Studies lecture on the bill of rights, which I should of listened to more careful?

Revised Would you lend me your notes from that social studies lecture on the Bill of Rights, which I should have listened to more carefully.

Warm Up # 39 in the dead sea located between israel and Jordan a human body cannot remain submerged for long because it is 25 % salt

Corrected for dangling modifier In the Dead Sea, located between Israel and Jordan, a human body can't remain submerged for long because the Sea is twentyfive percent salt.

WU # 40 the reason they were so eager to sell tickets is because their trying to re-furbish the old gymnasium

Revised They were so eager to sell tickets because they're trying to refurbish the old gymnasium.

Bad vs. Badly is an adverb used to describe how something is done. Bad is an adjective that refers to health or feelings. Bad is also used to complete linking verbs, such as seem, look, taste, and smell. Fill in the blanks with bad or badly: 1. I feel ______ that Harriet wasn’t invited. 2. Rudolph dances ____, but at least he tried hard. 3. The soup tasted ____ on the first day and even worse on the second. 4. You look really _____. When was the last time you slept? 5. Ms. Kramer spells _____, so it’s lucky she has a smart secretary. 6. Roger wanted to see Gisele so _____ that he postponed his flight.

WU # 41 by changing the oil every three thousand miles the car was kept in excellent condition

Revised for dangling modifier Changing the oil every 3, 000 miles, we kept the car in excellent condition.

WU# 42 there is a desire on the part of many of us to maintain a Spring Recess for the purpose of getting away from the demands of our Studies

Much Better We want a spring recess so we can get away from our studies. OR We want a spring recess to escape our studies.

Quarter 4 ---Final Stretch Nine more weeks and counting…

WU # 43 he was really late to his English class due to the fact that he had to finish his Math test

Revising for “bloat” He was late for English because he had to finish his math test.

Bloated Expressions To Avoid At this point in time. . . “ Meaning: Now. "It would be appreciated if. . . “ Meaning: Please. "In the month of December. . . " Meaning: In December. "It has come to my attention that. . . " Meaning: Whatever comes after "that. " "In the eventuality that. . . " Meaning: If. "At the present time. . . “ Now…

More…Redundancies "Bad mistakes" Use mistakes. All mistakes are bad. "My personal opinion is that. . . " Use my opinion. All opinions are personal. "Repeat again" Use repeat. Repeat means to do again. "Visible to the eye" Use visible. Can anything be visible to anything but the eye? "For the purpose of. . . " Meaning: For.

Warm Up # 44 noone on this bus seem to know they’re way around this part of the city of new york

Revised (indef. pron. agmt) No one on this bus seems to know his or her way around this part of New York City.

Indefinite Pronoun agreement No one (person)----has? vs. have? the answer People have Everybody----has? Or have? their or his? Every (individual) body of us has his or her answer All of us have Anyone will have their or his/her Any one (person) will have his/her

WU # 45 7 children were injured in the accident only one required hospitalizing

Revised for comma splice Seven children were injured in the accident; only one required hospitalization.

WU # 46 after reading the original study the article remains unconvincing

Revision (dangling modifier) After reading the original study, I remain unconvinced. (The article did not read the study; a person — I did. )

WU # 47 do you want turkey spinach and cheese roast beef lettuce and cheese or ham tomato, and cheese asked jim

Use semi-colons between items on a list already separated by commas “Do you want turkey, spinach, and cheese; roast beef, lettuce, and cheese; or ham, tomato, and cheese? ” asked Jim.

Fix this: add the semi-colons… I cannot decide if I want my room to be green, brown, and purple green, black, and brown or green, brown, and dark red.

Semi-colons join items in lists I cannot decide if I want my room to be green, brown, and purple; green, black, and brown; or green, brown, and dark red.

WU # 48 atticus didn't want scout to fight, however she could not ignore injustices

Correcting comma splice and pronoun reference confusion Atticus didn’t want Scout to fight; however, he knew she could not ignore injustices.

WU # 49 3 reasons why some students drop out of college are problems of to much parting and if they run out of money and if they can’t meet deadlines

Revising for wordiness and parallelism Three reasons why some students drop out of college are problems of too much partying, and if they run out of money and if they can’t meet deadlines

Much more succinct and thesisworthy Some college students drop out because of academic, financial, or time management problems. (Magic 3, anyone? )

Warm Up #50 of the 5 stages of tradegy that artistotle said there is included a stage where a character will make a error in judgement based on them having a tragic flaw

Revised One of Aristotle’s five stages of tragedy includes a character whose tragic flaw causes him to make an error in judgment. Or- Aristotle’s five stages of tragedy include a character whose tragic flaw causes him to make an error in judgment.

WU # 51 macbeth the thane of glamis finds out that he has been promoted to thane of cawdor , this makes him think about the other witches prophecy

Remember appositives? Macbeth, the Thane of Glamis, becomes Macbeth, the Thane of Cawdor. An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that renames another noun right beside it. The appositive can be a short or long combination of words. Look at these examples: The insect, a tiny ant, is crawling across the desk.

Revised Macbeth, the Thane of Glamis, finds out that he has been promoted to Thane of Cawdor ; this makes him consider the witches’ other prophecy. Not the other witch’s prophecy Nor the other witches prophecy

WU # 52 In macbeth a play by shakespeare you realize that the witches are being used by him to control the fate of the characters

the fix…. In macbeth a play by shakespeare you realize that the witches are being used by him to control the fate of the characters Do NOT EVER use YOU in an essay

more thesis-worthy Shakespeare uses the witches in Macbeth to control the fate of his characters.

WU # 53 writers should spend a great deal of time thinking about their arguments to make sure they are not superficial

Just who is superficial? the writers? or the arguments? Some possible revisions--- (pick one or make up your own) Writers should spend time ensuring that their arguments are not superficial. Writers should make sure their arguments are authentic. Good writers employ authentic arguments.

WU # 54 In 1605 king james survives a assassination attempt which was the inspiration for Shakespeare to write Macbeth

Revised for consistency in tense, nominalization In 1605 King James survived an assassination attempt, which inspired Shakespeare to write Macbeth.

Even more succinct… The 1605 assassination attempt on King James inspired Shakespeare to write Macbeth.

WU #55 all of this year we have corrected sentences for comma splices and fragments tenses that isn’t consistent, pronoun agreement errors, if they are punctuated improperly and weather or not they are parallel

all of this year we have corrected sentences for comma splices and fragments tenses that isn’t consistent, pronoun agreement errors, if they are punctuated improperly and weather or not they are parallel

Better This year we have revised sentences for errors of comma splices and fragments, tense inconsistency, pronoun agreement, punctuation, and parallelism.

WU# 56 writing good is a skill you can use your whole entire life, the importance of it can not be underestimated or overlooked

Wordy, wordy…. writing good is a skill you can use your whole entire life, the importance of it can not be underestimated or overlooked

Revised Writing well is an important life skill. The importance of writing well can not be underestimated.

WU #57 memorial day is a day of remembrance for all of the men and women who died while serving in the united states armed forces, it is also generally used as a marker for the start of the summer vacation season

Revised—comma splice Memorial Day is a day to remember the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces; it also marks the start of the summer vacation season.

SAT Practice The last man on earth (A) will abandon his ruined house (B) for a cave, (C) and his woven clothes for an (D) animal's skin. (E) No error. A. B. C. D. E.