Unit 3 Stress Denial shock Bargaining Anger Despair

Unit 3: Stress

§Denial – shock §Bargaining §Anger §Despair §Acceptance

§ Can occur in any variety of sequence § One stage can last longer than others § The process can last anywhere from 3 months to 3 years § It is healthier to accept these stages and recognize them for what they are rather than fight them off or ignore them § Outside support during grieving process assists gaining objectivity and understanding.

§ Magical thinking – believing by magic loss will go away § Excessive Fantasy – believing nothing is wrong-loss is just imagined § Regression – act childlike and want others to reassure that nothing is wrong § Withdrawal – avoid facing loss and avoid those people who confront with truth § Rejection – reject truth and those who bring news of loss to avoid facing it

§ Shop around – looking for “right” agent with “cure” for loss § Gamble – take chances on “cures” for loss § Risk Taking – Put self in jeopardy financially, emotionally and physically to get to an answer or “cure” for loss § Sacrifice – in our pursuit of a “cure” to change loss ignore real personal needs.

§ Self-blaming – blame self for loss § Switching blame – blame others for this loss § Blaming victim – blame the victim for leaving us § Aggressive anger – believing you have the right to vent blame and rage aggressively on closest target § Resentment – believing our hurt and pain is justified to turn into resentment towards those involved in loss event including victim.

§ Guilt – believing personally responsible for loss § Remorse – feel sorry for real or perceived “bad past” deeds for which this loss is some form of retribution or punishment § Loss of hope – so overwhelmed that you have no hope of being able to return to calm and order our life held prior to loss. § Loss of faith and trust – can no longer trust in goodness and mercy of god/mankind

§ Rational thinking – refute irrational beliefs or fantasy thinking in order to address loss from rational perspective § Adaptive behavior – adjust lives to incorporate changes necessary after loss § Appropriate emotions – express emotional responses freely and are better able to verbalize pain, hurt, and suffering experienced § Patience and self-understanding – recognize it takes time to adjust to loss and give themselves time to “deal with” it § Self-confidence – see stages of loss as natural and expected.

§ End of temporal life § Terminal point to which all lives are directed § Finality of existence on earth for all living creatures Common responses to death? ?

§ Let go of person, event or object in death and face resulting loss § Handle fears about death and resulting loss § Look at death in an open-honest way, not hide from , avoid or ignore it. § Accepts inevitability in your life and lives of others § Accept changes that are consequences of death