Understanding Motivation enabling everyone to shine Sarah Stones
Understanding Motivation & enabling everyone to shine Sarah Stones Motivation Specialist @Motivated. Edu
Sarah - About me Lucky to be doing what I love – which is Helping others to shine 25 years HR experience Appreciative Inquiry Growth Mindset Solutions focused Positive Psychology Values based Education
Positive Mindset Knowledge Resilience Motivation Skills
• If you would like these slides please download from: www. plainsailingmotivation. co. uk/ DFEParent. Network/
How you can make a positive difference to your children • Use positive language Positive language • Focus on what’s been good Positive thinking Celebrate & encourage failure
5 C’s of parenting a child with ADHD -Dr Sharon Saline (Common sense advice for supporting all children) • Self-Control: learning to manage your own feelings first so you can act effectively and teach your child to do the same. • Compassion: Meet your child where they are, not where you expect them to be. • Collaboration: Work together with your child and co-parent (if one exists) to find solutions to daily challenges instead of imposing your rules on them. • Consistency: Do what you say you will do–over and over again • Celebration: Acknowledge what’s working and doing more of it, day after day.
The trick to using the 5 C’s is making them part of your parenting routines. • Take time to cool off when you are aggravated with your son; • show concern and support for your daughter when her struggles annoy you; • talk about any problems and come up with alternatives as a team; • Father and teen son fist-bumping be steady and predictable, Even when you feel like giving up; stay positive and notice what is going well, no matter how small.
All of this is easier if you understand what motivates your child/ren!
It is our MOTIVATION that gets everyone up in the morning SO It’s important to understand what MOTIVATES us AS MOTIVATION is the FUEL we need to make us GO
Energy is key to achieving our goals DIRECTION SKILLS MOTIVATION Without motivation there isn’t the energy to move forward
As well as the positive impact on our mental health, when we are motivated we: • • Learn better Think faster Find creative solutions Achieve more WE ARE ENGAGED
Wikipedia definition: • Motivation is what causes a person to want to repeat a behaviour. • An individual is not motivated by another individual. Motivation comes from within the individual. • Motivation has been considered as one of the most important reasons that inspires a person to move forward.
“ Our greatest impact with people is to gain insight into what motivates and inspires them in their lives. ” Mark C Crowley – Lead from the Heart
• We are all different because of our INTRINSIC MOTIVATORS • There are NO RIGHT OR WRONG motivators • Our motivators CHANGE depending on what is happening as we go through life (Motivators are NOT labels)
When we understand what someone’s INTRINSIC motivators are …… we can use EXTRINSIC motivators more effectively
Our motivators affect • our attitude to risk and change • our speed of decision making • and our focus as well as our language @Motivated. Edu
We all have 9 motivators Defender Friend Director Star Expert Builder Searcher Creator Spirit
Think about : 1. Which of these motivators are important to you 2. Which you think may be important for your child/ren and other members of your household (You may also wish to consider which are important for your manager & work team members!) @Motivated. Edu
Relationship Motivators The Defender wants stability, security and safety Relationship Motivators The Friend Seeks belonging, friendship and fulfilling relationships Averse to change The Star Seeks recognition, respect and social esteem Avoids risk Slow to change/ Focus on people/ make decisions feelings
Relationship Motivators Wants and Needs • Enjoys predictability and dislikes change and surprises • Likes written notes and routine • Prefers order & clarity • Needs time to prepare • Sets goals for themselves The Defender wants stability, security and safety TIPS FOR INCREASING MOTIVATION Identify someone they can talk to when feeling uncomfortable Keep notes/plans that can be found easily Ensure they spend time each week tidying room/work space Ensure they plan their HOMEWORK timetable.
Relationship Motivators The Friend Seeks belonging, friendship and fulfilling relationships Wants and Needs to feel they belong Likes to feel they are being listened to Wants fulfilling relationships Needs continuity and proper time to prepare for any change Want to be liked TIPS FOR INCREASING MOTIVATION Enable them to see friends and build social groups Plan social events to look forward to Use visual aids/images and stories to help them to remember things • support them to work in a library or somewhere else social and encourage them to speak to a friend during planned breaks • For homework, have family worktime NB Social Media
Relationship Motivators Wants and Needs to be recognised Liked to be thanked & respected Likes to be the centre of things Likes to receive awards & certificates Ambitious and focused • • • The Star Seeks recognition, respect and social esteem TIPS FOR INCREASING MOTIVATION Star charts will work well! Link their goals to achieving things they would like to do Think how they could coach/mentor others to support them Focus on supporting them to work towards getting certificates and qualifications to recognise their efforts Ensure they are given feedback to review their progress regularly
Achievement Motivators The Director Seeks power, influence, control of people and/or resources ACHIEVEMENT MOTIVATORS The Builder Business minded, goal orientated, competitive Mildly Pro Calculated/ Change Planned Risk The Expert Seeks expertise, mastery and specialism Medium Speed of change Focus is on things/ Thinking
Achievement Motivators Wants and Needs Likes to be set clear goals Can be highly competitive Driven by need for possessions and material gain Highly motivated by the latest gadgets, including learning tools Works well for the reward and material incentives The Director Seeks power, influence, control of people and/or resources TIPS FOR INCREASING MOTIVATION Identify things they are interested in an develop projects around these areas. Enable them to take responsibility for planning their homework timetable Enable them to help others if they want help them with their planning Help them to find expert career support to help them focus and plan your work experience Support them to keep a journal of their progress and look at what needs attention
Achievement Motivators The Builder Business minded, goal orientated, competitive Wants and Needs Need some degree of autonomy in their learning Motivated by managing others in a team and setting goals Needs constant challenge Wants to see the end goal and will set their own action plan to achieve it TIPS FOR INCREASING MOTIVATION • Support them in setting clear goals each day so they know what they need to do • Support them to focus on achieving the exam results they need to get the job they want.
Achievement Motivators The Expert Seeks expertise, mastery and specialism Wants & Needs Highly motivated by learning new things Likes the opportunity to show what they know, teach others Dislikes repetition, prefers to move on to new things quickly Can appear impatient at times TIPS FOR INCREASING MOTIVATION Find something that really interests them and build learning around that – so they become an expert Be clear about how this learning will help them achieve future goals Consider if they can revise with others – they will enjoy sharing what they are learning Support them to find a mentor - skilled expert NB The Expert can often be seen as highly competitive as frustration can occur when mastery is not achieved as the individual feels it should be!
Growth Motivators The Creator Seeks to be original, identifies with new, creative ability GROWTH MOTIVATORS The Spirit Seeks freedom, independence, making own decisions The Searcher Seeks meaning, making a difference, providing worthwhile things Makes Friendly / Positive fast decisions/ Focus on gut Pro change attitude to decisive feelings/ risk Instinct
Growth Motivators Wants and Needs Highly motivated by new projects, new problems to solve, creating new things Copes well with change, dislikes routine, and gets bored quickly Has high levels of perseverance Likes to work alone or in small groups The Creator Seeks to be original, identifies with new, creative ability Tips for Motivating Creators Set clear & challenging goals Have a stimulating and bright place to work – with music or outside Challenge them to learn Revise in short chunks – varying the subjects so they don’t get bored Brainstorm homework topics
Growth Motivators Wants and Needs freedom and the opportunity to make decisions Restrictions and procedures irritate them High levels of energy Needs positive feedback Can be disorganised and needs deadlines and limits set The Spirit Seeks freedom, independence, making own decisions HOMEWORK TIPS Set clear and challenging goals Have lots of small goals so they can achieve them quicker Work with them to agree timescales – don’t impose them! Work somewhere quiet Remind them these exams will help them achieve goals Use a calendar & a clock to keep track of time
Growth Motivators Wants and Needs Likes to feel what they are doing is important and has meaning Needs to see value and purpose in what they do Wants to improve things Likes to see the bigger picture Can be disorganised Prefers variety to routine The Searcher Seeks meaning, making a difference, providing worthwhile things TIPS FOR INCREASING MOTIVATION Help them to think about what they want to achieve each day and review how much they have achieved at the end of each day Make sure their notes are clearly related to the subject they are studying and they understand why they are needed Work in a bright, organised environment Link the meaning and purpose to their longer term goals. Ie. learning to read is important because you say you want to be a XXX when you grow up
We can listen to the language someone is using to help us identify what motivates them @Motivated. Edu
Reinforcing Motivators In some cases, the lowest motivator will reinforce all or one of the top 3 motivators so that, for example: The Creator is very change friendly and the Defender is change averse – If one is lowest and one is highest they become even stronger, ie even more change friendly or change averse The Director is motivated by power and autonomy even if if it means being unpopular, this is reinforced by a low Friend. @Motivated. Edu
Opposing Motivators Internal opposition is when someone has strong motivators which seem to conflict. For example The Friend motivator wants to be liked by others and work as a group or a team – but the Spirit often wants to work independently, having control over their time and does not like involving others. The Defender wants security and does not like change or new things and the Creator likes constant change and doesn’t like predictability This can stop people moving forward as it’s difficult to make decisions. They need to help to think things through and resolve conflicts @Motivated. Edu
We aren’t all motivated by the same thing! • Mum • Child 1 Has a high need for freedom and independence, likes to be liked and likes to make a difference (Spirit, Searcher, Friend, ) Has a high need for freedom and independence and wants lots of recognition and likes having new things (Spirit, Creator, Star) • 2 nd Parent Likes to focus on achievements, likes getting recognition (Builder, Director, Star, ) • Child 2 Loves learning, and being with friends and keeping people happy Likes to plan and organise (Expert, Friend, Searcher)
Other challenges It is really important to understand impact of any challenges/ disabilities on our motivators Ie if someone has a strong Friend motivator but isn’t good at F 2 F communication (eg autism or speech difficulties), we need to look at other ways that motivator can be met
Career choices Please, please DON’T FORGET to think about motivators when supporting your children with choosing options and thinking about careers DO NOT just consider what your children are good at Support them to consider WHAT MOTIVATES THEM? LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE IN A JOB THEY DON’T ENJOY
CAREER CHOICES – Relationship Motivators Motivational map element Relationships Preferred attitude to change Averse Attitude to risk Avoidance Speed of change/ Decision making Slow Focus People Feelings DEFENDER Stable and secure organisation; Predictable advancement within Organisation; Routine/repetitive work FRIEND Strong team ethos; Excellent social & “extra-curricular” activities; caring management STAR Clear job titles, visible recognition; Hierarchical structure; Perks linked to level within organisation
CAREER CHOICES- Achievement Motivators Motivational map Preferred Attitude to Speed of change/ element attitude to risk Decision making change ACHIEVEMENT Mildly Pro Calculated/ Planned Medium Focus Things/ Thinking BUILDER Performance and reward clearly linked; Commission, bonuses; Above average rates of pay DIRECTOR Responsibility built into role; Clear promotion and/or career Prospects; Control of resources EXPERT Technical positions; Professional environments; High skill and/or knowledge jobs
CAREER CHOICES – Growth Motivators Motivational map element GROWTH Preferred attitude to change Friendly / Pro change Attitude to risk Positive Speed of change/ Decision making Fast / Decisive Focus Gut feeling/ Instinct CREATOR Problem-solving/developmental work; High change/challenge Environments; Stream of new initiatives SPIRIT Lack of close supervision; Ability to make own decisions/discretion; Can prioritise own time SEARCHER Voluntary Sector/Charity; Customer-facing role; Mission-critical tasks/projects
So how can you find out what motivates you or your children? Complete a 10 minute online Motivational Maps® questionnaire.
Adult Map - 14 page report Youth Map - 2 versions – Simple Around 7 to 12 – Detailed 13 upwards Both Youth reports come with 3 reports • One for the pupil • One for the parent/guardian • One for a teacher/mentor
We can discover which motivators are important and see how each motivator is currently being met – and importantly which aren’t
@Motivated. Edu • • How I work 1 -1 with adults and young people and families Speaking at school parent events Running small group sessions for families/parents Running workshops & lessons in schools for staff and/or pupils focusing on improving engagement, PSHE, and/or choosing options and careers Also support businesses and schools, identifying the right motivators for each role, advertising & recruiting people with the right motivators, running team events, supporting employee engagement & wellbeing and positive performance management
@Motivated. Edu Special offer £ 49* for a Motivational Map® Report (Adult or Child) and ½ hour feedback session * Plus travel if required (Normal cost £ 125)
@Motivated. Edu www. plainsailingmotivation. co. uk 07816178616 Email sarah@plainsailingmotivation. co. uk Facebook Plain Sailing Motivation & @youthmaps
1. Positive thinking • • Write good things down Ask positive things – “What has been good about your day/week? ” (NOT HOW was your day? ) • Smile (: All boost serotonin
2. Positive Action • • • Exercise Volunteering Random Acts of kindness All boost serotonin
3. Positive Interaction • • See, ring, arrange to see friends & family Speak to people - when you are walking the dog or waiting for a bus All social interactions boost dopamine and serotonin
Your Feedback is very important to me If you have found this session useful, and you would like other people to know the benefits of understanding their intrinsic motivation, please consider feel free to share this information. You can also help by providing a testimonial either by email, or by clicking on the most appropriate link below. Facebook https: //www. facebook. com/pg/Plain. Sailing. Motivation/reviews Linked. In https: //www. linkedin. com/in/plainsailingmotivation/detail Thank you very much Email sarah@plainsailingmotivation. co. uk
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