Understanding Grief And Loss Of Life Adult and

Understanding Grief And Loss Of Life Adult and Family Living Unit 12

Words You Should Know • Grief: deep sorrow or mental distress • Terminal Illness: condition for which no cure is known and from which the patient is expected to die within six months

Stages of Dying Objective #1 Denial • Most terminal patients’ first response to the awareness of their condition is to refuse to believe their condition is terminal. They might respond with “Not me! That can’t be true!” They may refuse help at this point because to receive assistance is to admit the reality.

Stages of Dying Objective #1 cont. Anger • When the patient cannot deny the terminal condition any longer, the feeling is often one of anger and resentment toward everyone and everything. The patient may blame himself, a circumstance, or God for the loss and curse the physical symptoms of the disease.

Stages of Dying Objective #1 cont. Depression • When searching and bargaining fail and the illness progresses, depression often sets in. The dying person mourns his or her own nearing death and loses interest in treatment and the future. A sense of helplessness and hopelessness might arise. Feelings exhaustion, anger, and impatience are common.

Stages of Dying Objective #1 cont. Acceptance • Given time and support to work through the previously described stages, acceptance can occur. At this point the dying person can say goodbye to loved ones and discuss what will happen after he/she is gone.

Words You Should Know • Hospice: compassionate, quality, end-of-life care for patients and their families; may be in their home or in a hospice center in a hospital or nursing home; some communities have stand-alone, home-like facilities which offer hospice services • Life-support systems: medically advanced technologies that sustain life and postpone death • Terminally ill: diagnosed as having less than six months to live

Advantages and Limitations of the Hospice Concept – obj. #2 Advantage • Designed to meet the social, emotional, spiritual, and medical needs of the terminally ill person • Provides a facility where terminal patients are helped to die with dignity and without pain

Hospice Advantages Cont. • Administers pain-killing medication and shuns artificial life-support • Allows professionally trained individual to comfort and assist the family and dying person throughout the illness and to support the family after the death • Allows ”dying with dignity” in contrast to the impersonal, high-tech atmosphere in hospitals

Hospice Limitations • Forces the individual and family to accept death as their only choice • Raises legal question when a life that could be prolonged by life-support system is shortened by not using them • Causes professionals and volunteers who work closely with dying people and their families to face burn-out under the stress of their jobs, leaving a smaller pool of individuals to help run hospice programs

Words You Should Know • Bereaved: survivor of a person who is dead • Deceased: person who has died • Mourning: the feeling or expression of sorrow after a loss

Phases of Mourning – obj. #3 • Shock • Longing • Depression • Recovery

Shock • Emotions range from calm and rational to being dazed and distant. Denial is common in this stage because the meaning of the death cannot be comprehended.

Longing • Memories, thoughts, and dreams of the deceased characterize the intense desire to be with him or her; sadness is felt.

Depression • Confused thinking and irrational anger may be characteristic of the mourning person in this stage. Lack of interest in self, impatience, and defensiveness are common in this stage.

Recovery • The death is put into perspective and reorganization of “new life” begins. This may require establishing a new sense of self and different interests.

Guidelines for Helping Others Handle Personal Loss – obj. #4 • Listen to, sympathize with, and recognize the pain of the bereaved without offering advice; just listen. • Be available for the person who is grieving. Write, call, or set an appropriate time to visit the bereaved.

Guidelines for Helping Others Handle Personal Loss – obj. #4 cont. • Continue to offer support, and recognize the loss after the funeral and initial feels of grief are expressed. • Share personal feelings and sympathy with the bereaved. • Do small acts of kindness, such as helping with chores, calling frequently, and inviting the person on outings.

Words You Should Know • Burial: the act of process of placing a dead body in the ground • Casket: decorative, padded, lined box in which to place the dead body • Cremation: method of disposing of the dead body by using extreme heat to reduce body to ashes

Words CON’T • Pallbearer: person who helps carry the casket at a funeral • Obituary: newspaper notice announcing someone’s death, usually giving a brief biography of the person • Urn: a vase used to store the ashes of a cremated person • Vault: a chamber in which the casket is placed; supports the earth around above the casket • Wake: watch held over the body of a dead person before burial

Identify Procedures Necessary in Making Funeral Arrangements – obj. #6 • Make arrangements with a funeral director regarding the dispensation of the body and type of service. • Purchase a cemetery space or vault for the final resting place. • Notify relatives and friends of the death. • Prepare an obituary and other newspaper releases.

Identify Procedures Necessary in Making Funeral Arrangements – obj. #6 • Plan a visitation of the body or a wake, if desired. • Choose a casket for internment or an urn if the body will be cremated. • Select a member of the clergy or other person to perform the service. • Choose clothing for the deceased.

Identify Procedures Necessary in Making Funeral Arrangements – obj. #6 • Order floral arrangements. • Select and ask pallbearers to assist at the funeral. • Choose an organist and music for the service. • NOTE: After the funeral, notes of acknowledgment and thanks are written by the survivors for flowers, memorials, food, gifts, and other gestures of sympathy.

Guidelines for Funeral Etiquette – obj. #7 Upon Learning of the Death • If you are a family member or a close friend, go to the home of the deceased. • If you are a friend or acquaintance, you may see the family at the funeral home. • In all cases, acknowledge the death with an action. (card, food, memorial, etc. ) When Attending the Funeral • Choose conservative clothing. • Arrive early; stay for the entire service. • Be reverent in words and actions. • Share feelings with the bereaved. • Do not attend private services unless related to the deceased or specifically invited by the family.

Documents Related to Death – obj. #8 • Certificate of Death - Document issued by the state that contains personal data, cause of death and other significant medical conditions • Autopsy Report - Document prepared by a physician who has performed a detailed examination of a dead body

Documents Related to Death – obj. #8 cont. • Living Will - Legal document that allows people to choose whether or not they would be kept alive when no hope for recovery exists; also called Advance Directive for Health Care • Organ Donation - Authorization on driver’s license or living will that allows all or parts of a deceased person’s body to be donated for medical research

Documents Related to Death – obj. #8 cont. • Prepaid Funeral Contract - Agreement with a funeral home that spells out details of funeral and burial before the death; paid before the death • Will - A legal declaration of a person’s intentions as to the disposal of his or her estate after death

Developed by: Lacey Dickerson Tishomingo High School